Suicide

If happiness comes too suddenly, it will always make people feel at a loss.Just like me, I spent the first 20 years in depression, suddenly Tang Xiyue appeared in my peaceful life, and successfully aroused the uproar in my heart.In addition to being moved, the mood of worrying about gain and loss is always with us.This kind of feeling is like the beautiful clouds in the sky, but it makes the viewer sad because it cannot last long. People who have not experienced it cannot understand it.

In short, Tang Xiyue and I are like shadows, staying together in every second of free time, but we almost eat and sleep together. We are so good that people are enviable.But I don't have any special feelings for Tang Xiyue, or I don't have any abnormal thoughts. Even if we are intimate with no gaps, I don't think there is much passion.Maybe it's because I'm dull and withdrawn by nature, and I really became her so-called good friend with Tang Xiyue just to pass the time, but Tang Xiyue already occupies a very important position in my heart, which is different from The meaning of Aunt Bai and mother, I can't say what it is.Deep down in my heart, I think that Tang Xiyue cares for me out of sympathy, which makes me a little sad, especially because she regards me as the object she wants to make up for - Tang Qiling, so I can't make up my mind to refuse her company .

The most heart-wrenching thing in this world is separation!We have been together for a long time, with a tacit understanding and emotion, God will pull people apart, no matter how much you struggle and shout, you can't move God, a ruthless old man. In the end, only despair and love are left to accompany you. Painful memories, but you have to live with them.

I've tried this pain once and haven't gotten over it yet.My mother died as soon as she said she would die, and she never thought about how to continue my life if she left me.She is the person I love the most and is closest to, but she has brought me endless sadness and pain that I still can't let go of.

Therefore, I reject true feelings from the bottom of my heart, no matter love or friendship.

However, Tang Xiyue didn't understand the reasons for the dust.She is just blinded by the wind and sand right now, and must regard me as her younger brother, love me with sympathy, and surround me with friendship; or maybe it is not for these reasons, she is simply attracted by my miserable life experience, and wants to show herself It's just a heart of fraternity.No matter what kind, I am the object of being pitied, and it will be me who is abandoned at any time.Instead of doing this, it's better to pretend to be ruthless and ignorant.

However, I can't be so cruel to Tang Xiyue.

She grew up in a honeypot, and has never experienced the joys and sorrows of the world like me. Even though her brother has left, and it made her heartbroken, this did not cut off her happy nature, on the contrary, she became Stronger and more optimistic.But I am different. I was born in a low-class and mixed place since I was a child. I have been influenced by many dark sides of society, and I have long since lost my belief in love.What is worth sighing is that the love my mother gave me once illuminated my almost dark night sky, allowing me to see two or three sporadic hopes, but they were quickly shattered with my mother's death.From then on, no matter how much I forced myself, I could no longer be a pure person!Instead, he became a veteran with insight into the world.

It is precisely because of my thoroughness that I am very contradictory.Ordinarily, I knew that Tang Xiyue did not have a long-term friendship with me. I should cut through the mess and get out quickly, but I didn't. One was because I couldn't bear it, and the other was to see how much Tang Xiyue could persevere.The sound of broken dreams can relieve sorrow and hatred!Especially when I see others doing what I did.

Tang Xiyue may have been too nice to me, so she was said to have crossed the line.I never even look at other people's faces, let alone pay attention to the current hot gossip.It is conceivable that when even I know that someone is discussing the relationship between Tang Xiyue and me, how hot the topic is!How shocked I was!But I still haven't made a statement. I want to see Tang Xiyue's next move.

Tang Xiyue was far calmer and calmer than I imagined, and her demeanor towards me remained unchanged, just as caring and considerate as before.In fact, I know she is pretending to be calm, after all, she has never experienced such gossip, and I have been used to people calling me a pervert, calling me a gay daughter, calling me a monster, these insults are nothing to me Everyday food, I don't care at all.But Tang Xiyue is different, she is almost an angel untouched by the dust of the world, and she can endure such attacks for a long time.Our intimacy turned into a curse at last, and even though we were only a pure friendship, we both caused such an uproar!

Just when Tang Xiyue and I decided to stand still, Xiao Hei and Baldy came to see Tang Xiyue, followed by Zhou Tinger. Her face was as solemn as ever, and her clothes were monotonous black. The complexion gave people a constricted aura, and the eager steps of Xiaohei and Baldy revealed their mood, and also made the atmosphere stiff in an instant.

They didn't talk nonsense, and directly asked Tang Xiyue, who was bowing her head: Do you want us or her?

Tang Xiyue didn't speak or look up.

"Okay, I understand!" Xiao Hei said, dragging Zhou Ting'er and Xiao He to leave.

Tang Xiyue suddenly said loudly: Can you listen to my explanation?It's not what you think!

Xiao Hei suddenly became excited, and said sharply: "What is that like?"Who wants to listen to your defense, you are ruined, you know that?It is your so-called sympathy that hurt you. Now everyone thinks you are gay, and your chance to study abroad is blown, you know?The teachers don't trust you anymore, they all think you are a psycho, together with the same psycho...

"Slap!" Tang Xiyue slapped Xiao Hei. Hearing the sound was so crisp, Xiao Hei must have been in a lot of pain.

"We're done!" Xiao Hei dropped this sentence, even Baldy and Zhou Ting'er ran away crying.The bald man immediately chased Xiao Hei and ran out. Zhou Tinger gave me a hard look before chasing him out.

I looked back indifferently, and when I looked at Tang Xiyue again, I was startled.Her face was full of tears, especially her eyes, which were bloodshot and covered with tears. She looked horrible and pitiful!

I felt a little sad, so I held her hand to express comfort.She suddenly said in a serious tone: "Zhang Xiaoyu, I ask you a question, you must answer me truthfully." I nodded silently.

"are you gay?"

"No," I said casually. "My mother is, but that doesn't mean I am too. It really disappoints me when you ask that."

You don't have to be sad, I just want to hear your answer, since you are not, then we should be together even more, and depend on each other like relatives.I don't care what other people think, you don't have to worry about me.I believe the rumors will be self-defeating.