Suicide

I have known from a long time ago that people's attitude towards the weak is to add insult to injury.Few people sympathize with the poor with love. Their dogma is that "the poor must have something to hate," so the poor can never expect their pity.

I always felt that I was a little pitiful, because my mother was gay, I was excluded in the crowd.I remember when I was in junior high school, there was a female classmate who was particularly tricky. Just because I looked at her girlfriend with a smile, she spread the news that my mother was gay.I don't know where she got the news from. Anyway, I slapped her and things got so messed up that even the headmaster knew about it.In the end, I was dismissed.Since then, Aunt Bai and I have changed places and lived an incognito life.I hate communicating with people, dealing with people, it's the scariest thing about me.So it's not so much that I'm withdrawn, it's more like I'm isolated by the people around me.Maybe I can try to talk to others, but many people are only interested in my secrets. Once they find out, instead of protecting me, they will keep me at a respectful distance. Others come to make things difficult for me.

So the most stupid thing in this world is to believe that there will be true love in the world.I've had enough of this before, and I'm determined not to make the same mistake again!

Tang Xiyue was the first person who knew my secret but was still with me, and also the first person who kept the secret for me.However, I know that this situation will not last long, because I and she have lost friends.She is no better than me, and can endure a boring life. I believe she will go back to her friends soon, and that is her life circle.

What I can't understand is why we are called gay when we just got together?Is it because I look too cold like a boy?Or does anyone know my background at all?Or maybe Tang Xiyue leaked my secret?But I quickly vetoed the last one. If Tang Xiyue revealed my secret, why would she slap Xiao Hei and offend them for me? This is obviously unconvincing.

After school, I gently asked Tang Xiyue: Do I look like a boy?

She looked at me with a weird look and said, "It's not like that!What's wrong?

Then there is only the second possibility left, I murmured this sentence.

What left only the second possibility?Tang Xiyue asked.

Why are we called gay?Don't you doubt it?I looked at her and asked the exit.

"What's there to think about? Isn't it because you always look high above me, and I look like an angel. We walked together, and everyone felt strange but couldn't get a reasonable explanation, so we had to put the two of us together. Pulling it in an abnormal way. It's that simple." She shrugged and said relaxedly.

In my impression, Tang Xiyue is a relatively low-key and modest girl.I didn't expect to become so direct and bold after just getting to know me.Especially when she said that she looks like an angel without shame, I think she has matured a lot compared to before.Thinking of this, I didn't answer her words, but just smiled.

But Tang Xiyue said to herself: But your aloof expression is really cute, especially your eyes, which are as cold as ice and snow; your back is as slender as a willow branch, giving people a kind of feeling that can't be grasped. Illusion; it may be the reason for your long-term self-enclosed, you give people a feeling of oppression that refuses to get close.You are not like a boy. Although you are very thin and tall, you give people the impression that you lack sunlight and are more than feminine. For a girl, this is a very high evaluation!There is nothing wrong with being feminine, it is a symbol of your wisdom.

I said "oh" to show that I was listening.It was the first time in my life that I heard someone praise me for my femininity. To be honest, I didn't believe it.I always thought that I was invulnerable, strong and unyielding, so even my eyes were stained with the coldness in my bones, but I was betrayed by my slender appearance.Since I really don't look like a boy, or even a pretty girl, then who is spreading the rumors about Tang Xiyue and me?

Seeing that I was in a daze again, Tang Xiyue said helplessly: Come to my house for dinner today.

I "hmm" again, but then I reacted, and looked at Tang Xiyue in a daze, trying to make sure if she was joking.

She said calmly, "Go to my house for dinner. I have already asked my parents to prepare the meals. If you don't go, you can't do it. They want to see you too."

Now I can't even tell the left from the right.I didn't have any friends before, so I haven't been to a friend's house, and I haven't had much communication with the elders. What if my first impression on Tang Xiyue's parents is that I am not educated?What if they immediately see that I'm a gay child?What if they think I have bad intentions for Tang Xiyue?No, I can't take such a risk.

I said firmly in a tone: I will not go!sorry!

Tang Xiyue looked at me in surprise: Would you say sorry?God!This way you have more to go, I guarantee my parents will like you, they like polite children.go!I'm still here!

My mind was blank and my body was stiff, so I could only let Tang Xiyue push and push me forward.Tang Xiyue's family lives in a community in the north of the city. There are many people in the community for leisure and entertainment, but it does not give people a noisy feeling, but a somewhat festive atmosphere; the flowers in the garden are of many colors, bright and dazzling ; There is also a public swimming pool, the water inside is very clean, not as dirty as those ordinary swimming pools.In short, the environment is not bad!Her family lived on the seventh floor, and she arrived at the door of the house quickly by taking the elevator.The moment Tang Xiyue took out the key and pushed it into the keyhole, I was extremely nervous.I don't know if her parents are amiable people?Will it be crazy like my mother or cold like my father?I made up my mind: If I am indifferent, I will leave immediately.

The door opened, and a warm and comfortable female voice came into my ears: "Is Xiyue back? Go wash your hands, the meal will be ready soon." Tang Xiyue agreed to change and take off her shoes, and found a pair to indicate that I should hurry up too put on.At this time, the door of the study room opened, and a man who seemed to have experienced vicissitudes of life came out. He was a bit tall, so he didn't look particularly old. Seeing him smiling and looking at me, I didn't dare to look into the details.Thinking that this should be Tang Xiyue's father, I opened my mouth to say hello to my uncle, but I never thought that due to the excessive tension along the way, my mouth was dry, my tongue was dry and my throat was itchy, so I pouted and couldn't make a sound. I suddenly felt flushed I had no choice but to bow in greeting.Tang's father still said with a smile on his face: "Go and wash your hands."We hummed and went to the bathroom.The bathroom in her house is adjacent to the kitchen, and the smell of food is wafting.It can be seen that Tang's mother should be a good wife and mother who is easy to get along with.Thinking of this, I feel a little relaxed.

After we washed our hands, the food was already on the table, so we greeted each other and started eating.During the dinner, I got a glimpse of Tang's mother's face. It was not very different from what I imagined. It was really a pleasant face. I think it must be a gentle and classical mother.If my mother was still alive, would she be so busy with my three meals a day?Even if she would, but she is gone, not to mention based on my understanding of Zhan Zhiling, she would not be like this, even if she loves me very much, but she would not express it in this way.This is probably fate!Thinking of this, I sighed.When I came back to my senses, I found that everyone was staring at me with curious eyes.

Mother Tang was the first to ask, "What's the matter? Is the food not to your liking?"

I quickly waved my hand and explained: No, no, it’s delicious.

Tang Xiyue also helped explain: Mom!It's okay, she always loves her soul out of her body like this, your food is delicious!

Only then did Mama Tang put some food for me with a smile, and said with concern: "Eat more!"How can you be so thin!

The father who has not spoken much also said: eat some meat, you will look better if you are fat!Your aunt was just kidding you, don't be shy!As he spoke, he also picked up a few slices of meat and put them in my bowl.

I looked at the meals that had been piled up in the shape of a hill in front of me

, choked up a little bit.It is shameful to be sympathized, but happy to be cared for. I don't know the difference between the two, but I don't want to be sympathized, I want to be cared for.

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