That Alien Feeling

Harry is a lousy roommate.

He's a tidy mess, messes up his laundry, puts his feet on the coffee table, has his stuff strewn all over the apartment, and watches nothing but the Discovery Channel on the TV.

Harry also always thought of himself as an interior decorator.He decorated the apartment with a bunch of eccentric bric-a-brac from a garage sale, claiming it lacked character.

Adam came home from get off work one day and saw a huge painting added to the living room that vaguely looked like someone's vomit.

"What's this, Habbo?" Adam asked, unsure whether to laugh or kiss.

Harry's face lit up with excitement. "Stupid, it's art. Isn't it wonderful? That painter only charged me ten pounds!"

Sometimes Adam almost thought Harry was kidding him, but every time he saw the frank, sincere look on his face, he knew he was telling the truth.God, Adam never thought someone so unreliable could be so likable.

The worst day was the day Harry discovered yoga.He asks Adam to go shopping for a yoga mat with him, then torn between a "reasonable" brown and a "cheerful" pink.In the end, he bought the brown one, and Adam bought him the pink one.With a yoga mat, Harry watched the instructional video again, and he was clearly determined to practice yoga every night-only wearing a pair of white tight shorts, basically covering nothing.

Adam hated him.Hate Harry's legs, hate his oddly shaped knees, and his ridiculous white shorts.

But this is all self-deception.

It's been a month since Harry moved into his apartment.One day Jack said to him, "You're a masochist, buddy."

Adam and Jack are leaning on the sofa in front of the TV, watching the Champions League.Harry, who has never been able to figure out what football is, is hiding in the kitchen, humming and tinkering with food - he has recently become obsessed with cooking.Honestly he does a pretty good job, although whatever he does is a bit too spicy.

Adam replied: "We're just friends. Don't mention it."

He ignored Jack's sympathetic look and focused on the game.

Harry poked his head out of the kitchen. "Anyone want ice cream? I made ice cream!"

"Of course, darling." Adam replied.

"What's the smell?" Jack asked.He glanced at Adam, who was ignored again.

"Lemons," Harry replied.

"Well, I don't, thanks," said Jack.When Harry's head was back in the kitchen, Jack looked at Adam. "Since when did you start liking lemon ice cream?"

"Let's not say a few words." Adam said, but there was no anger in his words.

Harry returned to the living room with the bowl of ice cream and the spoon.He handed the things to Adam and sat down beside him. "Who's ahead?" he asked casually, putting an arm around Adam's stomach.

"Barcelona." Adam knew Jack was staring at him, but he ignored it and scooped a scoop of ice cream instead.He puts the spoon in his mouth and swallows the ice cream without wrinkling.He really doesn't like lemons that much.

"You don't like food." Harry was not so happy.

"No, it's pretty good," Adam said. "I just don't like lemons very much."

The corners of Harry's mouth drooped. "Why don't you just tell me?" He muttered in a low voice, "If you don't like food, what's the point of me learning to cook?"

Adam looked at him. "You learned to cook for me?"

"Of course," Harry looked at Adam like a fool. "You said you like to eat food made at home, I just want..." He looked away and bit his lip. "You have done so much for me, I want to repay you."

Adam's chest swelled with love, and he pecked Harry lightly on the nose. "No need, sweetheart."

"But I'd love to," said Harry softly.He still didn't look into Adam's eyes, a faint blush appeared on his face. "I like doing things for you, I feel very happy."

Adam suddenly wondered if it was the same reason Harry insisted on helping him with his laundry, even though he did it terribly.

"Okay." Adam pinned a lock of Harry's hair behind his ear.Harry's hair has always fascinated him.The hair is extremely soft and shiny, as if it does not belong to humans, like the finest silk.It wasn't just the hair, but other parts of Harry seemed otherworldly: his skin was remarkably flawless and smooth to the touch; and his strange blue-violet eyes, deep and moving.Adam had to restrain himself from time to time so that nothing could be done to him.

"It's time for you to cut your hair, baby." Adam ran his fingers through Harry's hair.He tried not to stare at Harry's pink mouth.

Harry closed his eyes, leaning toward his touch. "I'm considering growing my hair long. What do you think?"

"It's your hair, Habbo." Adam raised his eyebrows slightly.Harry had been asking him for his opinion about his appearance lately, and Adam didn't know what to think.If he hadn't been sober, he would have thought Harry was adorning himself for him... Luckily he was sober.friend.They are just friends.

"I know it's my hair," Harry smiled and gave him a white look. "But do you think I'd look good with long hair? I did it once, maybe, when I was twelve or thirteen, because I wanted to be like my brother, and it was funny. But I've got cheekbones now, and now Long hair doesn’t go out of tune, does it? What do you think?”

Adam brushed his thumb over the cheekbone he mentioned. "It'll be nice." Noticing Jack was staring at them both, he withdrew his hand. "But you look good now, too."

An hour later, Adam sent Jack to the door: "Don't."

Jack scowled at him. "Watch out, man. He does look like a nice guy, but nice guys are always the worst. You'll get caught up in their good smiles, and then they'll stab you when you're not looking."

Adam didn't answer.He had a feeling it was too late for him.

When he got back into the living room, Harry asked, "Jack doesn't like me, does he?"

Adam sighed to himself.It was probably going too far to expect Harry not to notice.Although he can be completely blind to certain things, he can be quite perceptive at times.

"He's just kind of jealous." He sat down next to Harry and lied. "He was my closest friend before, and we used to hang out all the time."

Harry looked down, a small frown furrowed between his brows.

"It's not your fault," Adam said, putting an arm around Harry and squeezing his shoulder.

"But it's really my fault," said Harry. "I do take up a lot of your attention and time." He looked up at Adam. "Do you know where the horror is?" His face was pink. "I don't really feel sorry. I don't feel sorry for Jack, it feels bad. I want all your attention. You're mine, not his."

Don't read too much into it.

Adam cleared his throat. "I can be a friend of both of you. You and him are not mutually exclusive. It's normal to have a few close friends."

Harry pursed his lips. "You don't call him baby."

Adam blinked. "So?" What does it matter?

A small crease appeared between Harry's brows. "I think he can also be your friend, as long as I'm your only baby."

Adam chuckled: "Thank you Lord Ron, you little tyrant."

Harry laughed too, a little embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm so bad. I don't know why I have such a bad attitude. Jack is very nice, but..." He hugged Adam's waist and buried his face in his chest. "I've never had a friend like you," he confessed quietly. "I have a lot of friends back home, but they're not the same. You're not like them. I..." He raised his head, meeting Adam's eyes. "I'm so happy to have met you. You make me so happy, warm and groggy inside and out."

Adam told himself it was a language difference.Harry just couldn't express his feelings, he didn't understand that what he said sounded like another layer of meaning.

"Glad our friendship makes you happy," Adam said, kissing Harry on the temple. "I see what you mean: it's rare to find someone so compatible."

Harry nodded. "Thank you." He said, tugging at Adam's T-shirt. "You tolerate my weirdness." He smiled meekly, and tugged on Adam's T-shirt again.

"What are you doing?" Adam asked. "Is my T-shirt bothering you?"

"I like it when you wear a shirt, or something with buttons—that way I only have to undo the top few buttons, and I can put my face on it and smell you."

Adam looked at him.Of course he'd noticed that Harry had a habit of unbuttoning his shirt collar when they hugged, but he'd always thought that was just one of Harry's quirks.

Harry wrinkled his nose and smiled. "I said weird things again? I said weird things, didn't I?"

Gosh, he's damn cute.Adam both loves and hates his straightforwardness.

"You like my smell?" He wished his voice wasn't so hoarse.

Harry nodded, frowning slightly. "At first I thought it was the cologne you used; I tried it on myself, and it didn't smell right. It's your smell, and it smells really, really good." He looked at Adam's T-shirt depressedly, and then Sighing, pouted and leaned his head on Adam's shoulder.Adam was so busy with his body that he didn't even notice how endearing Harry looked.He couldn't help his imagination: Harry's face caressing his bare chest, nudging him like a cat, then kissing his skin, licking his nipples—

Adam closed his eyes and tried to think of the most disgusting, ugliest thing to soften himself.

"Harry." He called the name.

"Huh?" Harry pressed his nose against the side of his neck.

Harry gritted his teeth as his lips brushed against his skin.He had tried his best, but his lower body was hardening.

"Enough is enough, Habbo," he finally said, staring at the utterly ugly painting on the wall.

"But why?"

"Because I'm only mortal."

Harry looked up, looking at him blankly.

Damn, he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm gay, Harry," he pushed Harry away, standing up. "Do you fucking understand? I'm gay and you're an attractive male."

Harry stared at him, blinking, looking completely bewildered.

What the hell.How could Habbo be so naive?Was it so outrageous that Adam wanted him, that he never thought it was possible?It couldn't be more obvious: Harry didn't see him as a sex object at all.Damn, it was a devastating blow to his self-confidence...he was willing to admit he'd always been a little cocky.He doesn't want to come across as a narcissist, but he knows what he looks like.It's almost never hard for him to get someone - except for this eccentric, eccentric, charming boy, and he's really drawn to it.Adam felt strongly that there was an inexplicable irony in this.

"I..." Harry's eyes widened, "you can't - you know I don't - you know I can't - it's not because you -"

Adam laughed a few times. "It's not my fault, it's your fault? Needless to say, Habbo. I understand." He turned and went back to his room.

Half an hour later, someone knocked tentatively on his door.

"Go away, Harry," said Adam, eyes closed.Jack was right: he should keep his distance from Harry and establish proper boundaries.

"Adam, please."

He sounded sad—

No, fuck you.Appropriate boundaries.

"Can I come in?" Harry's voice became hoarse. "I beg you."

Oh shit.

Adam jumped out of bed and walked to the door.He didn't open the door because he knew that one look at Harry's sad face would blow his resolve away.

"Go to sleep, Harry," he replied. "We'll talk tomorrow when we all calm down."

"I'll just calm down now." Harry's tone showed the opposite.

"You're not calm," Adam said.

"Well, I'm not calm. But I can't talk to you until tomorrow, and I can't be calm."

Adam sighed and slid down to sit on the floor with his back against the door. "Well then, go ahead. But make a long story short."

"That's it? Through the door?"

"Yes." Adam replied with only one word.There was no need for Harry to know that he was helpless against his face.He still has some self-esteem left.

He heard Harry sit down across the door.

There was a long silence on both sides of the door.

"Sorry," Harry finally said. "I'm sorry I'm so stupid that I didn't realize that I made you feel so bad."

Adam frowned.He didn't expect Harry to say that.

"I just," Harry continued. "I've been so protected from birth that I've never had much exposure to...single people who have sex. So I haven't had this problem, can you understand? So I didn't expect you to... ...has feelings for me." Harry still spoke in a tone of daze, as if he hadn't fully accepted the fact.

Adam couldn't help smiling.Harry is so weird.Didn't he look in the mirror?Sometimes he really looks like an alien, because his standard of seeing things is far from the average person.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not your fault, Habbo," he sighed. "It's my problem and I already know how to deal with it."

"How?" Harry asked.

"Let's make a rule and abide by it together."

"What rules?"

"We're going to be friends like Jack and I were."

He could almost hear Harry frowning.That expression clearly appeared in front of his eyes, so clear that he felt a little panicked.

"But—but," Harry stammered, sounding totally flustered.

"Harry," Adam closed his eyes. "Please don't make it harder for me."

Harry didn't answer for a long time.

Finally, he was completely discouraged: "Well, if this is what you want." Adam listened to him getting up and going back to his room, closing the door gently.

"Yes," Adam repeated the word, laughing.His laughter was hoarse and harsh in the quiet room.No, that's not what he wanted.But it doesn't matter.