As a salted fish, I was forced to become the teacher of all ages

"What are you thinking? Didn't you say you want to dance?" Zhao Ren's voice brought Hua Manlou back to reality.

Hua Manlou came back to his senses, sighed and said: "I think of running under the sunset that afternoon, it was my lost youth..."

"...what's the matter?"

"Nothing, let's start. Come on, do it with me, this, this, and this..."

"This...such...this...what the hell!"

Under Hua Manlou's dazed gaze, Zhao Ren's legs tangle together and fell down with a thud—his face on the ground, and before he hit the ground, he learned a Hua Manlou's oral habit...

Hua ManLou was dumbfounded: "What's your situation?"

Just a butterfly step...can make your legs twist into twists?

Zhao Ren was also dumbfounded: "How would I know! Try again! Is that so? So, this... what the hell!"

For half an hour, Zhao Ren kept circulating in the 'this way...fuck', and then Huamanlou confirmed that this guy is not suitable for dancing at all-if it is not suitable, it is not suitable, just like in the previous military training, there was always a So a few apparently normal babies can't learn to walk in unison, and they can lead the teaching person into a crutch...

Anyway, Huamanlou's despair is almost comparable to that of Zombie Walker who danced. Is this a human thing?

After hearing the news, Qi Wanrong, who came to watch the fun, laughed so hard that her flowers were trembling all over the place—thanks to Zhao Ren's heart, she didn't mind her ridicule at all, otherwise, the Qi family probably wouldn't invite new kings to see her in the future...

"I have to go to the palace to see the queen mother on her birthday, or I will dance this dance, and you guys do something else?" After laughing, Qi Wanrong made a very pertinent suggestion.

Hua Manlou said in astonishment, "You? Can you dance?"

Qi Wanrong curled her lips: "Tch, who do you underestimate? Is that so?"

Speaking of which, Qi Wanrong followed Huamanlou's teaching to come up with a whole set, and she actually looked good, that is...

A little nosebleed.

It is said that when a man flirts, there is nothing wrong with a woman. Now a hot man is lying on the ground, but why is this woman so fat?

Hua Manlou covered her nose and turned her head: "You better not get involved in this matter..."

"Why?"

"This dance is so iron-blooded that a real man dances..."

Qi Wanrong originally wanted to argue that what a man can do, she can do it too, but now she didn't want to talk about it in front of Hua Manlou, she just rolled her eyes and stood aside.

Hua Manlou looked at the depressed Zhao Ren and said, "Let's sing the song, can you sing the song?"

Zhao Ren immediately replied: "What's so difficult about it? I learned a little from what you sang that day! It's pretty good: laughing in the sea ~ surging waves on both sides of the strait..."

The moment Zhao Ren opened his mouth, Hua Manlou covered his heart—not his ears, but his heart. The new version of Cang Hai's laughter was almost killing him!

Is this a howl from the sea?What a storm!

"Very...is it hard to hear? I think it's okay..." Seeing the two people present, one pale and the other stunned, Zhao Ren realized that something was wrong.

Hua Manlou clutched his chest and remained silent for a while before saying, "...you tell me to calm down first."

This young man is talented, but being talented doesn't mean he has artistic talent—it's like closing the door and opening the window, anyway, Zhao Ren can't sing or dance...

This is awkward.

There is not much time left for the Queen Mother's birthday, but the current situation is like this. Hua Manlou feels that this is worse than rehearsing the program in school in the previous life. At least he can find capable people when he is in school!

In desperation, Hua Manlou sighed: "Okay, let's change the way, say you always say it?"

316. Raising reputation

If the singing and dancing programs are not good, then you can only go to language programs, right? Otherwise, what else can you do?

Huamanlou is also quite helpless.

In Huamanlou's previous life, although the Spring Festival Gala became more and more boring, this boredom was caused by the development of the information of the times, and despite this, the language programs of the Spring Festival Gala were quite popular, and many people sat on the TV and watched I was swiping my phone, and only raised my head when there was a program such as sketch comic dialogue, which showed its charm.

However, these two art forms do not exist these days. Because the origin of cross talk is ventriloquist, it is also called onomatopoeia. It was not until after the Republic of China that it developed into the form of Huamanlou's previous life.The skit was even later, I guess it originated from Master Chen Peisi's eating noodles...

Compared with sketches, cross talk is more suitable for performance at this time.

So after Hua Manlou chose cross talk, he not only had to write lyrics by himself, but also taught Zhao Ren how to perform, and...

How to make Zhao Ren not laugh first.

Cross talk, it’s meant to make everyone happy, but what’s the matter with you, a cross talk actor, who laughs without saying a few words?

However, Zhao Ren's own sense of humor was very low, and Hua Manlou would have to laugh for a long time to tell a random joke, so he had to cultivate Zhao Ren's sense of humor first, which was an extremely difficult task. Incredibly annoying.

And many of the jokes from the previous life are not suitable for direct interpretation, so he can only create his own, which is really miserable.

Fortunately, people these days have a low point of laughter, and Hua Manlou is still confident in making most people laugh, as long as the Queen Mother is not like Qin'er.

But with a grandson like Zhao Ren... the queen mother generally won't laugh too much, right?

……

When Hua Manlou and Zhao Ren were tossing about in Xishan, the capital.

The Empress Dowager is celebrating her [-]th birthday this year, and Emperor Guangxing is a pure and filial person, so in order to let the Empress Dowager live happily and satisfactorily, the scale of the birthday banquet this time is relatively large.

The frugal Emperor Guangxing broke his precepts this time. He allocated 20 taels of silver from his internal funds for birthday banquets and garden repairs.In addition, officials of the fifth rank and above in the capital can bring their family members into the palace to pay homage to their birthdays.

Ordinarily, this is a good thing. On the one hand, Emperor Guangxing fulfilled his filial piety; , 20 taels of silver is indeed a lot, and about half of it was donated in the name of the Queen Mother.

It is said that it is for the empress dowager to accumulate virtue and good fortune, but the people who receive the benefits are the common people.

After the incident of "framing" Huamanlou in the past, under the will of Emperor Guangxing to try to make sense of the matter, the censors have actually stopped for a while.The only problem is that the restraint of exaggeration does not mean that the core of Qingliu has changed. This group of people often do nothing about themselves, but they still like to use sage books to regulate other people's behavior. It can be said that everyone hates it.

Moreover, what confuses the common man most about this group is that they love to challenge the limits of the emperor's wrath.In their view, a civil servant who has never received the imperial scepter and has not been relegated is not a good civil servant, so whenever Emperor Guangxing made a slight mistake, they would criticize him to death, and even the most serious things can be exaggerated It’s not like the country will be out of the country—for example, Zhao Ren was scolded by them as Qin Ershi after playing for a while...

To put it bluntly, what the Qingliu want is fame. After criticizing the emperor and being beaten severely, they can achieve an achievement of defying the power and speaking out.

So, a good reputation also needs to be cultivated. If this group of people were placed in Huamanlou's era, they must be masters in obtaining achievements, illustration books, and equipment...

All in all, this Queen Mother's birthday banquet gave many people an opportunity: so many people in the world are still starving, the emperor dared to be so extravagant and wasteful, and dared to repair the garden!

As a result, Emperor Guangxing received many impeachment transcripts in an instant, scolding him bloody, the most classic of which was as follows: That Guozuo from Xiu'abang Palace is only a few years old, you Does the mentally retarded intend to follow suit?

If it’s just like this, that’s all. It just so happened that I received a report two days ago. Because of the heavy rain for several days, the Yellow River broke the embankment in Kaifeng Prefecture. Although the embankment was quickly blocked, more than [-] villages and counties were affected. , as many as tens of thousands of homeless people.

Now the censors have more to say.

You want something to say, right?OK!As an emperor, the common people have to live in exile, but you spend so much money on a big birthday banquet!Wouldn't it be good to use the money for disaster relief?You won't die if you don't hold a birthday banquet, but if the people don't save them, they will definitely die, or they will rise up and let everyone die without a place to bury them, can't you tell?

In fact, as early as the day when the news was received, Emperor Guangxing had allocated funds for disaster relief. Food, grass, tents, and even the urgently summoned doctors were rushed to Kaifeng Mansion, and the local Kaifeng Mansion was also working hard to relieve the victims, but When the words came to this group of people, it became that the emperor ignored the people and only cared about his own enjoyment, which was simply absurd, fatuous and shameless.

The innocent Emperor Guangxing was so angry that his lungs ached and he was almost whipped on the spot.

Well, there are people who are kidnapped by morality in any era, and the logic of this group of people is very strong: your family has so much money, so what if you donate a little more to the disaster victims?You have several 10 taels of silver for a birthday banquet, why can't you spend hundreds of thousands of taels for disaster relief?

And the fact that Emperor Guangxing opened a porridge factory was directly ignored by this group of people, and none of these people themselves gave anything to the refugees—their logic was also very clear: we are Qingliu, and Qingliu has two sleeves and a breeze , I eat bran and swallow vegetables, how can I spare the energy to save others?

Just like this kind of person who is a slut but wants others to be saints, who will come and who will not be angry?

Therefore, Emperor Guangxing made a fuss in the morning, and once again urged the household department to be more agile, and allocated 5 taels of silver from internal funds in the name of the queen mother to buy grain and send it to the disaster area.

Ordinarily, if the Qingliu were really only for the victims, the matter should be over here, and they should do something to help the victims. For example, the Metropolitan Procuratorate can send people to supervise the whereabouts of the disaster relief funds, and understand the people in the disaster areas. Life or something, this is what people do.

But, is this what Qingliu want?

More than [-] people have been displaced and homeless. In the eyes of some Qingliu people, they are not victims of disasters, or even human beings. They are an extremely rich political capital, an excuse to plead for the people, nothing more.

So, after a lot of tossing, the emperor bleeds a little, and he didn't even see the court staff and relegation, how can this work?So they regarded Emperor Guangxing's concession as a phased victory, and began to brew a bigger storm...

317. Is cross talk a form of punishment?

All the officials congratulated the Queen Mother on her birthday when she entered the palace, but Hua Manlou was woken up by Qin'er early in the morning, and together with Zhao Ren, who was rehearsing at the Huai'an uncle's residence yesterday, went to the palace to greet the Queen Mother early.

After getting out of the car and entering the palace, the two of them woke up a little bit. At this time, the palace was decorated with lights and festoons, and there were busy little eunuchs sprinkling water and cleaning everywhere. , the atmosphere is simply more festive than the Chinese New Year.

After Hua Manlou yawned, he turned to look at the dazed Zhao Ren and said, "Your Highness, are you okay?"

Zhao Ren seemed to be stunned when he saw it. After a pause, he replied in a daze: "Huh? Ah... no problem. I've been rehearsing for so many days. What's the problem?"

Hua Manlou yawned again: "It's fine... okay... Emma, ​​I'm sleepy."

I have to say that Zhao Ren is really ingenious in his work.

Hua Manlou saw that this time it was nothing more than a guest performance, the quality of the program was not far from that of the New Year's Eve Party, but what was needed was the heart of caring for the Empress Dowager, not how good the performance was.

However, Zhao Ren was very serious, and he was not allowed to make any mistakes. Therefore, the two of them had rehearsed their cross talk countless times these days, and Hua Manlou's voice had been hoarse for two days. Didn't fall asleep until midnight.

Yawning is contagious. After hearing Huamanlou yawning, Zhao Ren also yawned continuously and felt drowsy, but when he walked to the Palace of Compassion and Peace, Huamanlou was no longer sleepy, he was nervous.

It is true to say that Huamanlou, a big figure in Dazhao, has met a lot, but the several princes have been seen from time to time since they were young, while Emperor Guangxing and Zhao Ren only met after hiding their identities. There is no tension when exposed.

But today is different. Today is the first time Hua Manlou has appeared in the harem, and what he wants to meet is the two-generation mother Yi Tianxia who claims to be his grandmother and godmother and has never met before. This feeling...

In nature, it is equivalent to meeting the mother-in-law for the first time, anyway, there is an extra mother.

So when Hua Manlou entered the palace, he didn't even dare to lift his nervous head. He followed Zhao Ren to salute and shouted, "Chen Sun Gong wishes the emperor's grandmother such blessings as Donghai and longevity than Nanshan", and almost mistakenly called the Empress Dowager Lafayette auspicious...

Fortunately, he was half a beat behind and Zhao Ren yelled at him, otherwise, his embarrassment would never be less than that of a friend of his in the previous life: this fairy was also extremely nervous when he first met his mother-in-law, and when he entered the door, he didn't pay attention to the threshold under his feet so that he stumbled Not only did he drop the fruit and good wine in his hand, he also plunged into the arms of his mother-in-law and broke her two ribs under the horrifying gazes of everyone in the room...

As a result, Hua Manlou didn't have the heart to ask, because his friend was still not married three or four years after the incident.

Seeing the two prostrating on the ground, the Queen Mother smiled joyfully and said, "Get up, get up, come over and let the Ai family take a good look at it!"

Only then did Hua Manlou dare to raise his head, peeking at the Queen Mother sitting in the middle, with Emperor Guangxing on the left with a peaceful expression, and the empress on the right who is the mother of the world.Hua Manlou didn't dare to take it too seriously, so he greeted the two first, and then walked to the Queen Mother with Zhao Ren as obediently as a quail.

The queen mother's surname is Li, and she looks like the old lady next door, with a kind smile on her face.

But it is true, in order to prevent foreign relatives from intervening in politics, Da Zhao not only limited the scope of Princess Shang, but also stipulated the queen's family, so almost all the queens of Da Zhao came from small families.Naturally, this queen mother was no exception. Before entering the palace, she was just the daughter of a petty official, so her behavior naturally carried a bit of a market style, and she did not change after all these years in the palace.

The old lady first took Zhao Ren and said a few words, then took Hua Manlou's hand and said with a smile: "Ai Jia originally thought that she would only have one grandson in this life, but who would have thought that there would be one more grandson suddenly? But you This grandson is too ignorant, he only came to the palace today to have a look, but the Ai family had to wait for a while!"

Hua Manlou couldn't stop laughing: "The West Mountain is a bit busy... Uh, it's my grandson's mistake, and I will definitely come to the palace to pay my respects to the emperor's grandmother from time to time."

The queen mother smiled and said: "I dare not let you come here often. The emperor praised you for doing great things for him. How dare the Ai family delay you from doing things?"

Hua Manlou said hastily: "The minister and grandson were just playing around to get lucky, so they did some small things to relieve father and emperor's worries. What's the big deal?"

The queen on the side smiled: "You child is talking nonsense, and the queen mother is a woman who doesn't understand other things, but how can the balloon that can go up to the sky be done by nonsense?"

The Empress Dowager also laughed and said: "Yes, that day scared Ai's family to death!"

It can be seen that the empress dowager and the empress have high emotional intelligence, and they both intend to accept Huamanlou, so after a few words, the atmosphere becomes extremely harmonious, as if Huamanlou has really become a family, and they don't wait for Huamanlou to accept them. Lou presents a birthday gift, and the queen mother has already arranged a meeting gift for Hua Manlou, taking advantage of the opportunity and asking him when he will get married...

Several people were talking in the Palace of Compassion and Ning, but the palace became more and more lively.

Several stages were set up in the square in front of Fengtian Hall, and the famous juggling troupe of the capital came on the stage, singing, singing, and making all kinds of noises; Piao Monk said, each of them set up the magic weapon in the dojo to pray for the queen mother, and the buzzing sounds became one...

I'm really not afraid of the two sides shouting at each other and fighting.

Not long after, Dacheng came to report that several opera troupes from the capital had arrived at the Palace of Compassion and Peace. The stage had already been set up. If the Empress Dowager wanted to watch a play, she could start at any time, so a group of people moved outside to accompany the old lady to listen to the play.

It has to be said that this was Hua Manlou's first serious listening to an opera, and then he found himself confused, and even subconsciously wanted to find subtitles.

Seeing that everyone else was listening with gusto, and even the little maid in the atmosphere group was a little preoccupied and forgot what she was supposed to applaud. Immediately, Hua Manlou felt that she was a bit out of place with her surroundings, but...

Can't appreciate it at all.

In the end, Emperor Guangxing accidentally turned his head to see the dazed Hua Manlou and asked, "Why, this play doesn't suit your taste?"

Hua Manlou said awkwardly, "No... the show was very good, very good..."

Just don't understand.

It was so easy to wait until the end of the scene. Hua Manlou quickly winked at Zhao Ren. The latter understood, and immediately stood up and said to Empress Dowager Li, "Grandmother, grandson has also prepared a show, do you want to watch it?"

After hearing this, the queen mother hadn't said anything yet, the queen was startled: "You? You want to sing?"

Hua Manlou was instantly amused: A friend is more like a mother, it seems that this one has also been stimulated by Zhao Ren?

"It's not a drama, it's a cross talk!" Zhao Ren said triumphantly, "It was researched by Erchen and Hua Manlou, and it was specially prepared to celebrate the birthday of the emperor's grandmother. It has been prepared for several days!"

Emperor Guangxing, who knew the matter, said: "I put gold on your face, and the words are all written by Hua Manlou. What does it have to do with you?"

After that, he turned his head and explained to Empress Dowager Li: "Mother, this is another new thing that Huamanlou has been tinkering with. Although I don't know what this cross talk is, at least the two of them have been busy for several days. Mother might as well watch it first. Look?"

Empress Dowager Li smiled and said to the two of them: "That's fine, the emperor's grandmother will personally applaud you two!"

That being said, she only thought that the two of them were playing with children's stuff, and she didn't even realize what she was about to experience soon...

……