[Net King] Take away my heart

Love is a dangerous garden, if you smell the enchanting fragrance, you will fall into the quagmire of love.

——molanajalaluddinrumi

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"Jiayin, it's time to come out for dinner."

Recently, I often go to Jiayin's room, and call her when my mother prepares dinner, or call her when I watch TV with my father.In short, I am seizing every little opportunity to communicate with good news.

Although the so-called communication is only a sentence and an answer, but for me, who always involuntarily wants to go there when I pass by Jiayin's room, it is also good to be able to stand at her door for an extra second with a legitimate reason. OK

Jiayin is always lying on the desk and writing something. She is used to finishing her school homework as soon as she gets home, and then immediately begins to immerse herself in the writing of the poetry club.At the beginning, when I went to the room to find her, she would look a little surprised, but as time went by, Jiayin seemed to get used to it.I like to stand at the door and watch her desperately writing and writing. When she realizes that I am staring at her, she will raise her head slowly and show a very embarrassed expression, and then I will smile wittily to leave, but I still find her dazed look adorable.

When giving the bell charm to Jiayin, as expected, she showed a little confusion.

"Why...?" She didn't dare to accept the gift immediately, but asked cautiously.It's simply a look of being rewarded for nothing.

There's no big reason, just because I think it's cute, so I want to give it to you - I can't say this kind of ugly reason, so I found something that sounds more natural: "It's a thank you gift from last time. "

"Last time...?" She tilted her head slightly.

"Last time" refers to the accident of the lighting, Jiayin should remember it.I smiled at her and she quickly understood.

"That matter...it's nothing...don't worry..." She lowered her head, but she still didn't accept the gift, but she wanted to back away a little.

I expected Jiayin's shy and withdrawn personality, so I half-jokingly stuffed the pendant into her hand.

"If Jiayin refuses, I will be very sad." I persuaded her as gently as possible, "It is said that the sound of this bell will bring good luck, and I think it matches Jiayin very well, so even if you don't like it, you can use it reluctantly Bar."

Jiayin pursed her lips and slowly withdrew her hand.She held the pendant in her hand, but put it left and right, as if she didn't know which pocket to put it in, so I laughed again.

"How about hanging on the phone?"

After listening to my suggestion, Jiayin lowered her head and took out her mobile phone.Although it was only for a short moment, she seemed to move the corners of her mouth slightly when she lowered her head. I think that really represented the expression of joy.

Mochizuki said that someone once complained to her that the bells from the pendant were very noisy, because as long as the person moved, the bell would follow.Mochizuki seems to be a little concerned about this, thinking about when to replace this string of charms, but I don't think so at all.

Jiayin hung the bell on her mobile phone. Since then, whenever she appeared, the string of lovely bells would follow her.I think Jiayin should not dislike this gift very much, because wherever she goes, this voice that can attract good fortune is always with her.Unlike Mochizuki, I like to hear this voice. As soon as I hear this voice, I know that I can see good news.

I feel very happy, and that string of crisp and melodious ringtones represents my happiness.No one knows that the sound of happiness is given by me. With this little secret, I seem to be looking forward to hearing its sound all the time. For me, it means getting closer to Jiayin.

"Jiayin, Dad is watching a football game, do you want to come together?"

For a while, I felt as if we had returned to our childhood, the childhood when we were talking on letter paper and at both ends of the phone.

I just call Jiayin's name in a normal way, sit with her to eat and watch TV together, maybe there will be mom and dad in between, but I have never felt so at ease.I often look at Jiayin subconsciously, just seeing her sitting so close to me in front of my eyes, I will feel a sense of peace in my heart.

I knew something had crept us closer after the flashlight incident.This kind of closeness is not so obvious, it is not a gesture, nor is it an exchange of words, it is just an invisible induction, just like the string of happy little bells, filled with the faint fettered ringtones that only belong to us.

I don't expect to become intimate between Jiayin and me, nor do I expect to have any closer moves.As long as we can be like when we were young, as long as we can still speak a few words in a normal way, instead of alienating each other deliberately.But while comforting myself like this, I also understand that the root of my happiness actually comes from the string of beautiful ringtones, because it always tells me that there is a certain part of Jiayin, even if it is just a small part , still belongs to me.

When I walked into the art room one day, I saw an unexpected scene.Jiayin and Mochizuki stood shoulder to shoulder, with their backs to me, and they seemed to be chatting in a harmonious atmosphere in front of the picture frame, looking like ordinary friends.

"Ah, you're here." Mochizuki who noticed me first said, "I'm asking the juniors from the poetry club to help me write an advertisement for recruiting members from the art department."

Jiayin turned around, she had a notebook and a ballpoint pen in her hand.The so-called Poetry Society student refers to my younger sister, but I think Mochizuki doesn't know this yet.

The poetry club that Jiayin joined seemed to be running well recently. Although it was not officially recognized by the school, it was well-known among the students.Liu mentioned that the Poetry Club is undertaking some work to help write manuscripts, and it seems that Mochizuki is also one of their customers.

"Maybe I came at the right time." I smiled at them, "Isn't it better to introduce me? This member of the poetry club is mine..."

"I already know." Mochizuki interrupted me, putting a hand on Jiayin's shoulder affectionately, "I'm already friends with her, right?"

Mochizuki's communication skills have always been very strong, and she can quickly get along with each other regardless of whether she is up or down.I looked at Jiayin, but she didn't make a sound.

"I happened to be talking about you just now, here."

Mochizuki pointed to the picture frame behind her, where there was a painting I brought with me earlier—the portrait without a face.

"As soon as I said it was Jingshi's painting, your sister immediately understood." Mochizuki looked very happy, "She asked me 'is it Mochizuki-senpai', it seems that you still have a heart, and you will think of it with me. Someone mentioned me."

"That's because you are famous. There should be no one in this school who doesn't know you." I replied honestly.

"In terms of fame, you are not inferior to me." Mochizuki smiled, "The omnipotent Minister Yukimura."

Jiayin kept looking at the notebook in her hand, and did not participate in the conversation between Mochizuki and me.Just when I was about to ask about recruiting members, Mochizuki's cell phone rang.

"It's my younger brother again, there must be nothing good to call..." She answered the phone helplessly, made a "sorry" gesture to us, and walked outside the art room.As she walked out of the classroom, a series of crisp and shaking bells also disappeared at the door.

Jiayin raised her head and stared in the direction of the door.There were only the two of us left in the art room.

"Mochizuki is very easy to get along with." I said to Jiayin, "What did you talk about?"

"... about recruiting members." She replied in a low voice.

"Is that all? It looks like she's talking speculatively with you."

It would be nice if Jiayin could be friends with someone like Mochizuki, I couldn't help thinking.I will never dictate Jiayin's private affairs, and I will never let her think that I care about them.But in fact, I will know what I should know after all.Mochizuki is a more reliable person than Miyake, or a person who is more considerate of others. She will not pull others to do earth-shattering things. She will bring something calm and steady to people, and most importantly, she Someone who can understand me to a certain extent.

Just when I was thinking this way, Jiayin slowly turned to the painting.

She looked at the painting with extremely serious eyes, and there was something in the depths of her eyes that I couldn't figure out.

"This painting...is it the first time you've seen it."

"When did you draw it?" she asked.

"I don't remember. I just drew it on a whim."

Bitterness came to mind unconsciously.Standing in front of the portrait is the portrait itself, but I can't directly say that the person I painted is you, the you standing here now.

Jiayin stood motionless as if trying to see through my painting.

"This person... should be Mochizuki-senpai."

She said quietly, without the slightest ups and downs in her expression.

I tried to force myself to answer her with a lighthearted "Yeah, you guessed it", but I couldn't do it anyway.I clenched my fist silently, unable to suppress the indescribable sadness.The faceless girl in the painting seems to be taunting me coldly with invisible eyes and mouth. You made it, and you made it yourself.

I try to hide something that is very important to me, I can't let it be discovered, because I cherish it too much, and I am afraid of losing it, so I cover it up more carefully.But in this process of digging up the soil, going deeper, deeper, deeper, and burying the treasure deeper and deeper, I didn't realize that I had lost it, and hid it in a place where I couldn't even find it. place.

It was just an ordinary lunch break, and the quiet art room was filled with dazzling white sunlight.Mochizuki came back soon after answering the phone. As soon as she came back, Jiayin left there.And I couldn't see what kind of expression she had when she left.

As many people have said, Mochizuki also thinks that Jiayin and I don't look alike.

"However, you have exactly the same aura. It is because of this aura that it is easy for me to get close."

I asked her what kind of breath it was.

"Gentle." She replied without thinking.

The midday sun was almost dazzling, Mochizuki walked to the window and gently pulled half of the curtains, the light softened immediately, and the faceless painting also cast a faint shadow.

"I wanted to ask her about Jingshi's favorite things." Mochizuki leaned against the window, "When we talked about this, I found that she was also thinking about the same problem. We were all thinking about what birthday gift to give you. Good. Do you feel lucky?...You are always missed by many people."

I took the picture out of its frame and held it in my hand.

"When it's your birthday, you should be able to receive a great gift." Mochizuki looked at the painting in my hand.

"...sometimes I think, if only I were the girl in the painting."

I took the painting home and put it back where it was originally.

Open the bottom of the locker, remove the debris, and lying in the corner are dozens of other paintings that are almost exactly the same as the faceless portrait.Without exception, they have outlines but no facial features.

Closing the cabinet door, I locked the secret again.Maybe I shouldn't have dug up the buried earth to reveal the treasure's message.Like a faint light bursting out of a dark crevice, I have not yet realized what the consequences of not repairing this crack in time will be.

Have a birthday together?I really want to say this to Jiayin.

Every year on my birthday, I can receive many different gifts from different people. I have become accustomed to it and even don’t care about it, but what Mochizuki accidentally mentioned touched my heartstrings.

Have a birthday together?The simplest sentence, the simplest wish, was firmly stuffed in his chest, and he couldn't breathe.

When that ordinary lunch break passed, when we returned to the same home, when I walked to Jiayin's room, wanting to say my usual greetings, or making up my mind to ask her about her birthday plans—the door was on my doorstep. closed in front of you.

I stood blankly in the corridor, wearing soft slippers on my feet, but I felt that my legs were being pulled by some invisible force, and I was pulling them down desperately.

I can think of many reasons to explain the closed door, maybe Jiayin didn't hear my footsteps, maybe she didn't know I was going to walk over, maybe she was just busy with something...

But none of the reasons properly persuaded myself to move away from that heavy door.

I stood at the door and silently put my hand on the handle.Just a twist and you will know the result, just a twist and you will know whether I am locked out of heaven or locked in the gates of hell.

I didn't move.

Have a birthday together?The words were never uttered again.

The birthday comes as scheduled, and the gift arrives as scheduled.I received the poetry collection I've always wanted from Mochizuki, but I didn't get anything from Kaon.

I've never been able to figure out exactly what an extraordinary change occurred after that short lunch break.But even if you don't want to admit it, you can't do it. The distance between Jiayin and me has been shortened after a lot of hard work. After such a lunch break, I was once again drawn to the two ends.

The bonds that hold us together are so fragile that they can break apart at the slightest carelessness.The string of bells never appeared again, and the happiest sound that belonged to me disappeared from then on.

I seem to be able to vaguely understand, but in any case I can't understand the reason why happiness is fleeting.Life goes on in a muddle, and the bonds that hold us together are pulled thin and long, and it seems to take centuries to go from one end of it to the other.

I waited, dazed, and watched until a piece of bad news came.