[Net King] Take away my heart

To good news:

You once asked me why I hated Sanada.

There's no reason, it's just that he is not pleasing to the eye by nature - that's how I answered you at the time.You don't seem to understand, so you tilt your head slightly.You never stubbornly pursue something, which is your advantage, and that question just goes away.

Have you ever seen someone else's shadow in someone at a glance?When I first saw Sanada, I thought of my dad.

Serious and serious, meticulous, excellent in sports and all-round, a model student in everyone's eyes, with great expectations and hopes, this is what my father used to be like.

He always likes to judge others by his own standards. That person is obviously not as educated as me, but he is valued more by his boss than me——that person is obviously younger than me and entered the company later, but he is promoted faster than me—that person People are often late and mess around, but because of their glib tongue, they quickly get along with the people around them. Everyone likes to get along with that kind of people, but they ignore me who is really working hard...

Excellent grades and a glorious student life can't prove anything. After graduation, my dad entered a well-known big-name company with a beautiful high degree, but even so, he is still a failure.

Always only think that you are right, always only see the shortcomings of others, always care about your own unsatisfactory life, always complain about the unfairness of life, but never find the reason from yourself.

My dad is such a man who doesn't look like a man. Even if he lives a mediocre life in private, he insists on pretending to be an elite of a big business on the surface and poses arrogantly to those who are not as educated as him. .

I'm a winner, I'm a successful person, I live a much nobler life than you ants - my dad probably wouldn't be able to live without this disgusting mask on his face.

Whether it is self-deception or snobbery, the foundation of my father and my mother's marriage comes from such a hypocritical common ground.

They decided to marry just because they were the right family, just because they matched their academic qualifications, and they were pleasing to the eye. There is really no more sloppy couple in the world.

My mother is a good actress. After she married my father, she quit her job and became a full-time housewife.But in fact, because of my dad's inaction, his salary alone could not easily support our family of three, so my mother secretly ran to I went to work odd jobs to subsidize my family where no one knew.

Bickering, bickering, never-ending bickering.

You complain about me, I complain about you, accuse each other of incompetence, and accuse each other of vanity.

Whenever they quarreled, I was thinking, aren't you tired?They have already quarreled to the point of wanting to start a divorce, but when they ran outside, they still showed the appearance of a loving couple, laughing and listening to others say that they really envy such a perfect family—hey, I don’t feel ashamed, I don’t think Disgusting?

Walking out of the house is a decent and loving couple, but closing the door is an enemy who wants to strangle each other to death. Even if they don't feel tired, I feel tired too.

Why can't people live frankly?This is the question I've always wanted to ask Sanada.

I'm not going to say he's like my dad, or that he's destined to be a loser, after all, that guy is just a teenage brat like you and me.I just instinctively want to avoid him, so I always say I hate top students, I try my best not to impress those people, yes, because I want them all to stay away from me, hate Me, just don't want to talk to me anymore.

But Sanada stubbornly appeared in front of me again and again.

Miyake, what happened to your hair color!Miyake, did no one tell you that the school rules do not allow shortening the uniform skirt!Miyake, how can a woman go out in such crumpled clothes!

Over time, I can almost memorize his line "too slack!" which has remained unchanged for thousands of years.

I know he's not targeting me alone, and I know he likes to run over everyone in this school, but I'm not the type of person who will turn right after being scolded by him.I just hope that he stays away from me. If you don't come to provoke me, I won't provoke you either. Obviously, as long as he stays like this, it will be fine.

But that fellow Sanada refused to let me go.

Every time I was lectured by him, I would have the urge to kill myself, what the hell is he doing?What is he thinking?Is it that fun for him to meddle in other people's business?It doesn't matter what color my hair is, what my dress is, what my uniform is, it doesn't matter to him, does it?

Why does he have to act like a saint and treat us all like hopelessly lost lambs?

He thinks he's right, he thinks he's wise, he thinks he's preaching for our own good, but what the hell does that guy know?He doesn't understand me at all, and I don't need him to understand me, and I don't need him to point fingers at me.

Jiayin, what kind of person do you think Sanada is?

In my eyes, he is hypocritical, artificial, and arrogant, and he is simply the last person I want to meet in this world.On the other hand, he is a very poor man.

Do you think he has a decent style, follows the rules, and always has the attitude of being the spokesperson of justice, so he can't stand our unique way of doing things?I guess not so.

In Lihai's school, Sanada is probably the one who most wants to break the rules and break the boundaries.He envied us, he envied us, because he himself could not be like us anyway.He has no courage, he has no determination, all he has is a weak temperament bound by the family's strict educational concept since childhood, all the strength and hardness are nothing but the mask he uses to arm himself, at this point , he is no different from my parents.

The French poet Yourcenar once said that in this world, the dirtiest thing is self-esteem.

Because I have self-esteem, I can't let go of those so-called face.I can't be underestimated, I can't be looked down upon, I can do better, I must do better than them all, even if I am a worthless loser, I have to pretend to be prouder than anyone else, just because I have a heart High self-esteem.

What a ridiculous logic.

When I was in Lihai, people always said that I quarreled very badly, but in fact I hated quarreling more than anyone else.

Fighting is a kind of negative catharsis. No one will feel happy after fighting. Every time after fighting with Sanada, I just feel that I have become more like my parents again.

My dad's job transfer notice was a timely life-saving straw. Overseas job transfer, the United States, what a nice name.Our family can finally escape this suffocating place. As long as we change jobs and come to a new environment, our family will probably be able to start over and gain a new life.

...but we were all too naive after all.

Remember the last fight with Sanada before I left Lihai?

I kissed him, which seemed to everyone an incredible act.I don't like Sanada, I don't kiss him because I like him, I'm just trying to peel off his mask.

I succeeded.

Just being kissed by me, Sanada ran away as if he had been greatly offended.I won in the end, and that was the only time I laughed out loud after a fight.

Good news, I know Sanada isn't a bad guy, he's just so pathetic.

He makes me feel heartily pathetic as much as my parents.

The author has something to say: this is the end of the third update of entering V~

The next chapter will enter the final chapter of Lianhua's perspective~

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Girls, more points for long comments~ XD

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これからももはヨロ!