Two or three things about having a crush on Mr. Dazai

It is not necessarily true that everyone can accept Aki Takeshita's departure calmly; but on the surface, all affairs of the Armed Detective Agency are gradually returning to normal track, and no one specifically mentions Aki Takeshita again.

Life is always like this, no matter how sad the lost things are at the moment, the flowing water of time will rampantly flatten those emotions and rush forward, leaving only the sad reef silent at the bottom of the river.

The death of the ghost assassin caused a sensation in the entire assassin world, and many political and business figures who were good at making enemies secretly breathed a sigh of relief.

There are many speculations about the cause of the death of the legendary ghost killer, but few people can guess the real reason of the farce - the suspicion and suspicion of his boss, the leader of the port mafia.

Those in the know have invariably remained silent on this not-so-glamorous reason.

Ango Sakaguchi did not record this reason in the files of the Supernatural Secret Service Division.In the final analysis, the supernatural power of "Nothingness" is too special, and the life and death of Akira Takeshita, as well as his betrayal or not, cannot be viewed only from the current dimension. In the end, he wrote the words "ghost's whereabouts are unknown, suspected of leaving the port mafia".

And Fukuzawa Yukichi has no regrets in his heart, for Aki Takeshita, a top expert who may become a member of the detective agency.

From the perspective of the president of the Armed Detective Agency, he disagrees with Mori Ogai's practice of killing all of them.This is not only too vicious, but also too unfair to Aki Takeshita.

But in terms of transposition, if he were Mori Ogai, he wouldn't be able to feel at ease with a subordinate like Aki Takeshita.

One is that Aki Takeshita's strength is too strong, who wouldn't be afraid of ghosts and nothingness?If he turns his back on the water, he will easily cause heavy losses to his side.

The second is that ghost assassins kill countless people, and harvesting lives is as natural as breathing.The superior's life is no different from any human life that dies at his hands. No leader would like his life or death to depend on the whim of his subordinates.

The third is Osamu Dazai.

Fukuzawa Yukichi knew that Takeshita Akira loved his subordinate Dazai Osamu wholeheartedly.This kind of whole-hearted simplicity is extremely terrifying in a way-a murderous person will give everything and nothing for another person.

If Takeshita Akira has no other insistence in his heart other than Dazai Osamu, then Fukuzawa Yukichi can conclude that the day of Dazai Osamu's death is the death of Takeshita Akira's killing spree.

As a side of Osamu Dazai's camp, Fukuzawa Yukichi did not dare to trust Aki Takeshita, let alone the leader of the port mafia who opposed Osamu Dazai and the armed detective agency.

Fukuzawa Yukichi cannot trust such an indeterminate bomb that counts down from Dazai's life, and will not accept him as a member of the Armed Detective Agency.

In other words, if Takeshita Akira had been ordered to fight against the Armed Detective Agency, he had turned around and betrayed the Port Mafia and turned to his own side, then Fukuzawa Yukichi would not have agreed to his joining.

Because his behavior is entirely based on "not hurting Osamu Dazai", apart from this principle, other things, including the port mafia that took him in for several years, are dispensable to him.

If there is a choice in the future that requires sacrificing Osamu Dazai to save the world, there is no doubt that Aki Takeshita will slaughter the whole world for Osamu Dazai.

Armed detective agencies cannot accept such people.

Although Aki Takeshita can protect himself, but at the same time, he will have nowhere to stand between Hong Kong black and Butei.

Fortunately, Akira Takeshita did not do this.

Instead of betraying his position, he proved himself by "death".

So far, the cautious and suspicious Mori Ogai can believe in Takeshita Akira's loyalty, and the apprehensive Fukuzawa Yukichi has also seen his heart clearly.

Yet the ghost has vanished into nothingness.

All kinds of suspicion arise from nothingness, and eventually dissipate into nothingness.

This is a dead end.

"President, what are you thinking?"

Secretary Haruno Kirako asked with a smile when she saw that the company had been in a trance for a long time.

"Ah, I was thinking about Takeshita-kun." Fukuzawa Yukichi said.

"Takeshita-kun...it's really a pity." Haruno Kirako sighed.

"What do you think of Akira Takeshita's heart? If he is still alive, can he pass the entrance test for the detective agency?"

The gentle secretary pursed her lips and smiled: "Of course. To tell you the truth, Takeshita-kun is the most simple and easy-to-understand person I've ever met—aside from being a ghost assassin. He is almost the same as Mr. Dazai. an extreme."

Is it simple and easy to understand?

"Even if you know his identity, you can't feel bad about him. Such thoughts are really hard to control—no wonder Mr. Dazai likes him so much."

she whispered softly.

Fukuzawa Yukichi: "Dazai likes him?"

"I should like it."

It was inevitable that Dazai and Takeshita would not end well because of their standpoints, and they didn't have to shy away from talking about it in the president's office at this time, but they were somewhat embarrassing.

Fukuzawa Yukichi thought that Osamu Dazai had a complicated mind. Since he joined the Armed Detective Agency two years ago, he has never believed that this young man has good intentions. He is only willing to do so for some reason: "Alive When you are in the world, be a good person who saves people."

And such an elusive subordinate has shown his heart almost nakedly in the past two years, so that everyone can see his dependence on Aki Takeshita—when Dazai became a safe shackle for the ghost assassin, Aki Takeshita It also became a bargaining chip for him to stick to it.

However, when Aki Takeshita left, Dazai's performance was unexpected.He could mention Akira Takeshita's name like a normal person, without any special nostalgia or sadness; Akira Takeshita was not around, so he didn't deliberately challenge various methods of suicide.

This made Fukuzawa Yukichi shake his previous thoughts, and at the same time confused everyone.

Haruno Kirako's sentence "He likes Aki Takeshita" is followed by "probably".

"It should be." Haruno Qiluozi said, "Some people show their emotions outside, and some people bury their emotions in their hearts. How can others know how much they like them?"

Fukuzawa Yukichi lowered his eyes, "You are right."

He raised his cup and sipped his tea, and said, "Good tea. Your craftsmanship has improved again."

This topic was brought up in one sentence, which concealed the more rational way of thinking of the superior than the secretary's sensibility.

Haruno Qiluozi really interrupted the topic, and said pleasantly: "Thank you, President, you have appreciated the award."

The tea stalk floats and sinks in the cup, just like the floating fate of duckweed in life.

Counting and planning everything like Dazai, they can't prevent Takeshita Akira from leaving, so where will Dazai who lost Takeshita Akira go in the future, how can he, a mere brute, be able to guess.

I can only sigh a pity for that young man's departure.

For Takeshita Qiu, also for Dazai.

After Aki Takeshita was gone, Osamu Dazai lived an extremely normal life, but also extremely abnormal.

Everyone felt that there was something missing in the Armed Detective Agency, and most of this feeling came from the fact that the lazy colleague who relied on Aki Takeshita for everything became "independent".

If it were many years ago, "Osamu Dazai relied on Aki Takeshita", it would be like a joke.

In the port mafia, the 14-year-old Takeshita Akira pursued the 16-year-old Dazai Osamu so earnestly and desperately. Despite countless cold rejections, he still tried his best to circle around him.

He was so dependent on that person that he would die if he lost him.

But if the 20-year-old Takeshita Akira and the 22-year-old Osamu Dazai are facing the Dazai who throws a temper tantrum whenever Aki is on a business trip, the members of the Armed Detective Agency can’t just say that Aki is relying on Dazai.

Although Shu will indulge Dazai in many situations, he will not mess around on matters of principle, such as suicide and martyrdom.

On the contrary, Dazai stepped on Qiu's bottom line again and again, and they could all see Qiu's desperation when he racked his brains to ask for leave.

"Mr. Dazai... I already rejected the boss last time, and this time it is also very fast. I will come back really soon."

"Mr. Dazai, please keep the communication smooth while I'm out. Don't try to send text messages regularly to beat the time difference and commit suicide. I will be angry."

"Mr. Osamu Dazai."

The young man emphasized his tone, "Looking at me, do you think I'm as easy to deceive as Mr. Kunikida?" He rubbed his eyebrows, and every word was full of condemnation, "Because the phone is too hot, throw it into the water to cool down So you didn't contact me in time, how can you tell??"

"Mr. Dazai, don't challenge my patience. Otherwise, you will know how patient I am with you."

Hearing the first half of Qiu's sentence, they thought they were going to quarrel and became excited. Butai: "..."

Forget it, as expected.

Qiu has an extraordinary tolerance for Dazai, which is far beyond the usual scope of ordinary lovers. Everyone thinks that this is the testimony of Qiu's heart for Dazai.

And Dazai's liking for Aki is reflected in the fact that when he stands beside Aki Takeshita, he looks like a normal person.

It is strange that Dazai has a special temperament that makes him incompatible with this world, but whenever he meets Aki Takeshita, his specialness is completely dissolved by Aki Takeshita who is watching him tenderly.

Takeshita Akira is like the net that Osamu Dazai fell into, the cool ointment under his bandages, and a soft quilt on the rough rocks at the bottom of the river beach and valley.

Everyone in the Armed Detective Agency does not know that Takeshita Akira's wonderful dissolution of Osamu Dazai stems from the deepest years before he accompanied Osamu Dazai.

Because of this, Osamu Dazai understands that the trajectory of Aki Takeshita since birth was changed by himself, he understands Aki Takeshita just as Aki Takeshita understands him.They are each other's mirrors, and he has experienced a unique sense of belonging from Akira Takeshita.

This sense of belonging is manifested in the eyes of everyone in the Armed Detective Agency, which is "extraordinarily greasy", "willful enough to break up", "It's incredible that Qiu can bear you".

Once Takeshita Akira left, Dazai seemed to have no abnormality on the surface, but missing half of his body was an obvious abnormality.

But how can this be done?

Akira Takeshita had indeed left.

The young man who everyone thought would never be angry with Dazai and would always be by his side just disappeared, and Dazai became alone again.

So far, Dazai, who has been embraced by Takeshita Aki's tenderness for a long time, looks at the world alone again.

Yegou makes people think a lot.

"Do you like Aki Takeshita?"

On a late night with a clear moonlight, Dazai took off his coat, lay on the bed with his hands behind his head, and suddenly remembered the question that his stiff partner once asked him.

That was a long time ago, and the original words are: "When you are in love, you have to look like you are in love! If you like him, be more considerate of him! What kind of arrogance is it to delay other people's work every day!!"

A typical Kunikida growl with a black face attached.

At the beginning, Kunikida couldn't stand the way Dazai and Shu got along, and as a bystander, he couldn't help but talk about Dazai.

In the end, Dazai retorted: "There is no love, Qiu is still pursuing me?" Kunikida was so angry that he was half dead.

Through the topic of "Do you like Qiu or not", Dazai successfully achieved the daily achievement of "Annoyed and beaten by his partner today".

At that time, it was just playing haha, so did he ever like, or even love Qiu?

There was no one to chat with and sleep with at the bedside, so Dazai could only ask and answer by himself.

"Just saying 'love or not' without talking about '**', 'impulse' and 'action' is really a boring and empty topic."

He murmured into the air.

When Qiu said "love", what was he thinking?

Osamu Dazai remembered Aki Takeshita's curved eyebrows, blue eyes, raised corners of eyes, raised lips, and white teeth.His expression was so gentle that water dripped out.

He said, "I love you."

At the same time, he also said: "You are so kind." "You are so handsome." "Please eat well and sleep well." "I will feel sorry for you when you are injured." "I will not agree to die in love. I hope to be with you." Let's live together" and so on.

"That's not enough, Qiu."

Dazai's iris became deep in the dark night.

After the reunion, they lived together day and night for two spring and autumn periods. As grown men, they had hot desires for each other, but they were good at forbearance.Dazai has experienced Takeshita's repressed and passionate love many times, but his restraint always precedes his impulse, so they never made it to the last step.

Osamu Dazai also had a dark life.

Whether he loves Aki Takeshita or not, he doesn't know.But it is an absolute fact that I have been moved by Qiu more than once.

Since when has he been unable to take his eyes off the grown-up Qiu?

Dazai tapped his lips with his fingers, as if recalling the temperature of a certain kiss.

That time Qiu's reaction was more intense than expected. Qiu knocked him down with his fist and rode on him.

Those blue eyes were full of injuries, and they locked on him viciously with unprecedented courage and desperate determination.

The young man with dark blue hair was sad and desperate, but his eyes were as bright as a ball of dark blue fire, and with a "squeak", it burned Dazai's heart irregularly.

He was dizzy at the time, his lungs were on fire, and he couldn't breathe, but his heartbeat suddenly lost control at that moment.He was numb all over from the scorching eyes of the young man, and his fingertips trembled.

……What a nice view.

Dazai couldn't help admiring from the bottom of his heart.

At that time, Akira Takeshita was full of grief and anger, only seeing the calmness on Dazai's face, but he didn't know that Dazai was also deeply fascinated by him.

Their first kiss was accompanied by Takeshita's grievance, despair and Dazai's bitter smell of blood.

It was this fierce kiss that broke a certain boundary that Osamu Dazai had set for Aki Takeshita, and made him experience an unprecedented taste.

Whether this is called love or not.

Dazai swore that at that moment his heart beat only for this young man.At that time, he felt that there was no more charming man in the world than Aki Takeshita.

"Of course Qiu is different from them."

The moonlight shines softly on Dazai's face through the window lattice, making half of his face soft at night.

"You are—the most special one~"

Even thinking about it, my heart seemed to remember the rhythm of the beating at that time, and jumped happily.The pain of blood rushing to the throat is gone, only the passion and excitement that can ignite people are left.

Osamu Dazai couldn't sleep anymore.

Without doing anything, he simply continued to think about it - when was the second time he couldn't control his heart for Qiu?

It was another dizzying kiss.

After receiving the fake bomb incident, Qiu disappeared for three full days.

Dazai inhaled too much carbon monoxide in his room, his hands and feet were weak, and his breathing was heavy.After three long days of waiting, he finally forced out the little guy who deliberately hid in nothingness.

Takeshita Qiu's sudden appearance, hurriedly picked him up to find the exit, he was vaguely conscious.In the call of Qiu who was about to cry, Dazai suddenly felt that it didn't matter whether he could die or not.

Takeshita Akira's peace of mind and satisfaction of "really appearing" suddenly surpassed Dazai's pursuit of death at a certain moment.

He complained to Qiu, "You don't like me anymore!", and asked him for it.

In that young man's silence, Dazai actually looked forward to it even more.

His response did not disappoint Dazai.

The second kiss between them happened.

The moonlight that night was more blurred than tonight, Dazai didn't know what Aki saw in Aki's eyes, but he could feel Aki Takeshita's frightened and angry mood, and the water was rippling in his eyes, flickering.

Oh, and there's a street lamp next to them.At that time, Takeshita Qiu had his back to the light, his expression was gloomy and unclear, he had too many thoughts, and he couldn't speak them out.

He pressed down on Dazai with complicated love, and his fine and continuous attacks continued.Cherishingly, cherishingly, greedily, cautiously but can't bear to let go.

It was as cold as water that night.Dazai remembered that the air was cold, but the man's breathing was hot and messy.Aki Takeshita's active kiss was like sacrificing his life, proving his heart to the one he loves in this life.

There were no insects in that night, and it was so quiet that every sucking and parting sound of lips and tongue was like the roar of thunder. His pious love finally became one with lust, and became more beautiful and eternal in the symphony of saliva. heart trembling things.

Osamu Dazai claimed to be able to control the heartbeat, but he completely lost control of his heart during the time before and after that chapter of music, and let himself sink.

He was too busy enjoying the sacrifice.He was so absorbed that he forgot to breathe.

……

When Dazai recovered from that passionate kiss, Aki Takeshita had disappeared.

Dazai licked his lips and suddenly laughed.

The laughter grew louder, and finally burst into laughter.He shrugged his shoulders on the pillow with a smile, and tears trickled from the corners of his eyes.

Later, they had countless kisses, and Osamu Dazai also experienced countless heartbeats.

He has never called Takeshita Akiu a lover, just because he hates "losing".If you have never had a lover, will you not lose it once you go to war? If you have not become his lover, will Qiu overcome all difficulties to stay for him? If you have not had him, will Qiu be afraid of his death forever? And lose him.

God is fair.

He blatantly "lost" Aki Takeshita so many times, and finally realized the real loss himself.

It didn't feel heartbreaking, it was just a heavy loneliness that surrounded him.

One coward says "Sure enough" dejectedly, but there's no other comforter who says "No, don't worry, I'm here" over and over again.

Osamu Dazai is that coward.

Takeshita Qiu left, as if he had taken away his only good sustenance for this hopeless life.

You know me, Cho.How can I live alone in such a terrible and endless future?

"Ugh……"

So be it.

Dazai turned over, habitually, a low and tired sigh dissipated in the air.

"Autumn."

Four months later.Armed Detective Agency.

Dazai was full of energy and ready to go.

"Morning, Mr. Dazai!"

The young Atsushi Nakajima greeted Dazai energetically, "You came to work today!"

"Don't make me sound so negligent, Dun-kun~"

"Isn't it?" Kunikida Doppo sat behind the desk, glanced at his partner who had rarely returned to the office but was fully packed, "Where are you going? There is no request to travel far recently..."

"seaside."

Kunikida Doppo: "???"

He was vigilant: "What are you packing up for when you go to the beach?"

Isn't there the sea near the office?

Atsushi Nakajima glanced at Dazai's expectant expression, and boldly guessed: "Do you want to go into the sea?"

"No no no~" Dazai explained with a smile before Kunikida reprimanded him, "If it's something like entering the water, I wouldn't have specifically informed you."

"Then what do you want to do?"

"Relax."

"..."

The two were speechless.

What are you doing?Isn't it enough for him to relax by skipping work most of the time?

Besides, when Qiu Gang disappeared half a year ago, I didn't see him talking about relaxing, and now there is nothing to relax for no reason. What's the matter with this guy?

Kunikida Doppo thought so in his heart, but didn't say it out loud.

There haven't been many commissions recently, and Nakajima Atsushi and Izumi Kyoka can handle it alone, and there is no shortage of manpower in the detective agency.Kunikida Doppo waved his hand to his partner like chasing flies: "Keep in touch, go early and return early."

Dazai went out just like that.

He came to an uninhabited sea area, saw the calm sea, subconsciously considered which posture to enter the water was more elegant, and estimated that it would not sink to be salvaged by fishermen who went out to sea, accidentally drifted into other rivers, or was dived Possibility of rescue by enthusiasts.

After thinking about it for a long time, Dazai remembered that he was here to relax, not to enter the water.

To be honest, if anyone who knew him was here, he would probably think he was here to commit suicide.

Thinking of this, Osamu Dazai suddenly felt that he was being watched.He held his breath and looked around, but there was no one around.

Dazai thought casually: Could it be Qiu?

Immediately press the thought.

Six months.

If Qiu was still here, he wouldn't let him wait for half a year.

Time can dilute many things.Compared with half a year ago, the frequency of his association with autumn has been greatly reduced. At least he will not think of Qiu's eyes when he looks up at the sky—sometimes in foggy days, the color of the sky is not as clean as Qiu's eyes.

The sea is a generous gift of nature. It is wider than the land, and it breeds countless creatures.

When the waves and waves rolled in, the sea breeze also lifted Osamu Dazai's windbreaker, taking away his unrealistic reverie.

The vastness of the ocean often makes people realize how small they are.Osamu Dazai's pain was temporarily forgotten while looking at Kai, and he was able to think about some things calmly.

When he saw the sea in the past, he would most likely recall Oda Saku, the mafia who did not kill people and adopted orphans, and the desk he wrote by the sea.

After the death of Oda Saku, the young man who grew up inherited a temperament similar to him, the tolerance of all rivers, and the indifference of sticking to his beliefs.

Now when he sees the sea, what he recalls is the sea that Akira Takeshita bestowed on him.

"I have a feeling, like a golden crow hanging high in the daytime, like a moon shining brightly at night, like the tide of the sea rising and falling, like mountains standing tall."

Loving you is an eternal, irreversible and inevitable thing like the ebb and flow of sea water.

Death and disappearance cannot be stopped.

Because whenever Osamu Dazai sees a sea, he will remember that someone loved him so much.

At this time, Dazai felt someone watching him again.

He turned around in bewilderment, and he was still alone by the beach.

"...An illusion."

Qiu just left half a year ago. I had too many hallucinations and auditory hallucinations. The situation has improved recently. I didn't expect it to recur again today.

Osamu Dazai was not upset. In front of the sea, he tolerated his morbid delusion.

This was one of the purposes of his coming here.

After half a year, he had to accept the fact that Aki Takeshita had left.Perhaps nothingness is his death, a death independent of human will.Lived by Osamu Dazai, died by Osamu Dazai, whose love had burnt out eight years ago fighting physical and mental pain that could never bring him back.

I still remember the warehouse on a rainy day, the appearance of that young man with clean eyes was a miracle.

The moment before Dazai saw Aki Takeshita, he was lying on the ground waiting for Chuya Nakahara, and a thought flashed through his mind—the rain was getting heavier and heavier, it would be great if there was someone to help block the rain.

Akira Takeshita miraculously appeared.

The reason why a miracle is a miracle is that it can be encountered but not sought after, it is unique and cannot be copied, it is beyond the reach of human beings, and it is not transferred by human will.

Aki Takeshita was delirious and forced into nothingness, and Osamu Dazai still wanted him to come back intact. How could there be such a good thing in the world?

Osamu Dazai had to accept the fact that someone had loved him so much, and that person was gone.

And after accepting this fact, he will continue to live a good life, willingly waiting for his return.

Although all the valuable things that people desire will be lost one day after they are obtained, the value left by that love has not passed away, and it is still worth waiting and remembering carefully for Osamu Dazai to prolong his painful life.

In the past six months, I have had endless delusions about Akira Takeshita, and the disease is called missing, the missing of my lover.And it's time for him to peel off the coward's fear, admit that Zhuxia Qiu will not come back again, and then spend the rest of his life admitting that he also timidly loves Zhuxia Qiu.

Half a year after Aki Takeshita disappeared, Osamu Dazai thought so.

Facing the distant and quiet blue sea and sky, he breathed a long sigh of relief, and said with a smile, "Takeshita Qiu, I miss you so much. I feel so sad about the days without you."

The tone is light and light, which is the style of love talk that Osamu Dazai used when Akira Takeshita was still alive.

For the first time, he let go of the agreement that the other party could not keep, and said it from the bottom of his heart without asking for a response.

Even if nothingness is indeed nothing but nothingness, even if that young man doesn't suddenly appear in front of him, he still...

Just when Dazai thought that there was only the regular sound of waves to answer for Aki Takeshita, he suddenly became stiff all over.

He seemed to feel something and turned around.