Two or three things about having a crush on Mr. Dazai

The young man looked at me tenderly, and called my name in a low, lonely, longing way: "Autumn?"

I tried to read the joke from his look, but unfortunately, no.

Dazai is seriously inviting me to die in love with him.

I also looked back deeply into those kite eyes.

This is a great distance and position for a kiss.

So I did.

I imprint a cherished kiss on the forehead of the young man.When I lowered my head, Dazai closed his eyes.

I know he is content at this moment.

He was even satisfied enough to say "It would be nice if I could die like this".

How happy must Dazai be to say that?

Tonight I share my life with Dazai, so he shares his death and his wish for death with me.

I understand his seriousness, so I also told him seriously: "Mr. Dazai, I also have a wish."

"Ok?"

"Let's live together."

Dazai was puzzled: "Why? Let time pause here, isn't it good?"

"That's fine," I explained patiently, "but if you're alive, you'll have many more nights like this to think about dying."

"Next time I will be with you, next time will be next time, next time, I will be here every time. Compared with fulfilling a wish once and then not having it, I think it is more cost-effective to be able to accompany you countless times."

"Hmm~" Dazai laughed, "This is the most touching love story I've ever heard."

"It's not love, it's from the heart." I said.

"So it's even more touching."

"Then are you tempted by this proposal?"

"..."

Dazai didn't reply.He was breathing evenly, as if asleep.

I understand what his silence is saying.

Dazai's pursuit and desire for death is deeply ingrained, and it won't be shaken for a while, so I don't feel frustrated.

I tucked up the quilt for Dazai, stood up and left the master bedroom lightly.

Then I went to Dazai's study to read, and didn't go to the guest room to rest until dawn.

Before getting ready to take a break, I received a reply from Keiko Kobayakawa on my mobile phone.

Kobayakawa Keiko: "Good morning, Takeshita-kun! First of all, congratulations to you and Mr. Dazai for making such a breakthrough in just two days!"

Kobayakawa Keiko: "Mr. Dazai's colleagues seem to be very friendly and open, and they would actually communicate with you about such a private matter~:-D"

Kobayakawa Keiko: "As for what to do... have you tried to talk heart-to-heart? Talk about the past and the future. It would be great if the two could have a common goal and desire and fight for it together. That’s how my ex-boyfriend and I got together.”

Keiko Kobayakawa: "Of course, even if there is no common goal, having similar values ​​will bring the hearts of both parties closer."

I held the phone, lay down on my back, and sighed.

Common goals and aspirations?

similar values?

But Dazai's and mine seem to run counter to each other.

I faintly realized that Dazai said that I was his "future lover", not only because his love did not reach the level of my love for him, but also because he clearly knew the difference between his and my thoughts.

Love is the right of both parties, but also the responsibility of both parties to each other.

I have the courage to live for Dazai; but he has not been able to give up suicide for me.

So we haven't really fallen in love yet.

That's why Dazai said helplessly, wait a little longer, give him a little more time.

I have to wait.

Can only wait.

I was sound asleep in broad daylight when Dazai shook me awake.

Dazai: "Autumn, good morning!"

I:"???"

"...Morning, Dazai-san."

Dazai: "I'm leaving!"

I was sleepy: "Okay, bye."

Dazai: "Remember to lock the door when you leave!"

The energetic, lively Mr. Dazai is very attractive, but only if he doesn't deliberately wake me up when I'm sleeping like a mess.

I didn't even open my eyes: "Oh... Got it."

Dazai: "Thanks to Qiu's massage last night, the quality of sleep was better than ever!"

I plan to continue to sleep: "Don't worry about it."

Dazai suddenly came close to my ear and blew.

"Whoo~"

The hot air rose from the ears to the whole head, and I felt goosebumps all over my body, and I was completely awake after being blown by him.

"Mr. Dazai, trouble, have something to say, and speak directly."

I said every word in a very painful way.

Dazai's smiling face magnified in front of my eyes: "Qiu, come and live with me."

Move in and live with him?

"You said you would stay with me."

How could I say no?It couldn't be better.

I said, "Okay. But I have a request."

Dazai: "A request? Is it a payment for a massage?"

"No, that's volunteering and there's no fee."

"Then what else do you want?"

I said, "When you leave during the day, you don't need to wake me up, you don't need to say hello, let alone blow into my ear."

Dazai blew again with a "huh~", "Like this?"

I threw off the quilt abruptly, covering myself and separating myself from Dazai's face.

Dazai's suppressed laughter came from beside the bed.

I was very depressed under the quilt, and realized in hindsight that I should have put the quilt on Dazai's head.

I said sullenly: "Shut up. Don't laugh."

Dazai smiled and said, "Hi~ I'm leaving~~"

I didn't stick my head out until the door slammed.

Very sleepy, but not sleepy at all.Dazai's two blows made my ears still warm.

I think Osamu Dazai relied on me liking him.

If someone else does this, I won't blow his head off.

Thinking about it this way, I felt much more at ease.

However, if it were someone else, I wouldn't live in his house just to give him a massage, making going to work every day a long-distance commute.

This is how the days of cohabitation with Dazai began.

Although we live together, we don't really spend much time together.The one-week sick leave passed quickly, and I went back to work in Hong Kong and Heilongjiang and returned at night, while Dazai went out during the day and got off work in the evening.

Even if I go to the Spiral Cafe every day to wait for Dazai to get off work, I can only see each other for a few hours in the evening.

I am content.

However, such a schedule is occasionally broken, and only then did I understand why the inability to balance work and life is a problem that has plagued modern people for a long time.

One day, as usual, I provided Dazai with a thoughtful massage service and rushed to work in Hong Kong.On the way, he remembered that his mobile phone was left behind at Dazai's house, so he activated his supernatural power and hurried back.

Passing by Dazai's master bedroom, I floated in and took a look.

This one glance nailed my steps.

In the darkness, the quilt on the master bed was curled up into a ball.

I held my breath and leaned forward.

Dazai's back was arched, his waist was bent like a shrimp, and cold sweat dripped down his forehead.But his expression was calm, without any signs of pain.

He murmured: "... Qiu."

I almost thought he was calling me to emerge from nothing.But soon realized that what Dazai called was just "Autumn", not "Takeshita Aki".

Dazai doesn't know I'm here.

But he called my name in patience.

I couldn't bear it anymore, lifted the nothingness and emerged, half kneeling beside the bed, and asked distressedly: "Mr. Dazai, what's wrong with you?"

Dazai opened his eyes slightly.

I kept an eye on him all the time, so naturally I didn't miss this change.

Dazai smiled lightly: "Hey~ are you there? I thought you went to work."

"I forgot to bring my mobile phone, come back."

I frowned and said in a strong tone: "Tell me, what's wrong with you, don't interrupt."

Dazai said: "It's okay, my heart suddenly feels cramped."

He spoke lightly.

My hands were shaking: "Is there any medicine? Where is it?"

"No."

"..."

I don't know what to do.

Dazai squinted his eyes halfway, and said without any strength: "Actually, there is no need to do anything, and it will pass soon. But you, don't you have a job? If you don't leave, you will be late."

Work?

To be honest, my first reaction was - get to work the fuck.

Dazai called my name when the pain broke out, even if the Hong Kong gangster bombed now, I would not leave.

What's more, it's just a single multi-million smuggled goods transaction, how can it be as important as him.

I said, "It's okay to be late once in a while."

Dazai rolled his eyes and said, "If you feel uncomfortable, come up and hug me."

What is this nonsense.

It was obviously him who was suffering.

But I quickly took off my coat and shoes and socks, climbed onto the bed and lifted the quilt, and hugged Dazai carefully behind him.

I felt Dazai's left arm twitch slightly, and my heart twitched along with him.

After a while, the pain passed, Dazai withdrew all his strength, and collapsed on the bed.

I sat up, moved his shaggy brown head into my lap, rubbed my warm hands under the covers, and put them over his heart.

"Can this make you feel better?"

Dazai rested on my lap, kept looking up at my movements, and smiled: "I feel much better after seeing Qiu."

"..."

Not poor is not Mr. Dazai.

I repeated the movements of rubbing my palms to warm them up and then covering his heart.

Such intimacy means nothing to us.I gave medicine to the naked Dazai, and he took care of me who was unconscious due to a high fever.

I didn't stop until Dazai said "OK".

"Do you often do this?" I couldn't help asking.

"Not often." Dazai smiled.

Before I breathed a sigh of relief, I heard Dazai say again: "After all, the parts that go wrong are different every time."

"…………"

sigh.

Dazai reached out and stroked my cheek: "Qiu, why do you always look like you are in more pain than me."

"There is no one person in the world who fully empathizes with another person's pain."

I looked down at Dazai.

"However, there will be someone who will feel pain for you that you can't feel."

I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my left chest.

"Here, it was penetrated by Rashomon. The torn place is only an inch away from the heart."

After I finished speaking, Dazai moved the fingers I was holding and pressed my chest.

"You know when it happened. I'm not saying this to settle old scores. I just want to tell you that I can ignore my injuries, but yours, no."

I say.

"I can't, I can't accept a single cent."

"Listen? Next time you're not feeling well, call me by my full name. Don't just call me 'Cho' while I'm away."

I frowned and taught Dazai a lesson.

"Yes~ I hear you clearly~" The hippie smiley replied.

"Really?" I was deeply skeptical.

"Hmm." The young man put away his smile and looked serious for a second.

"... Mr. Dazai."

"Ok?"

"What are your hands doing?"

It was as if I let Dazai's hand touch my heart just for the sake of emotion.But... how did he slide down?

"Ah! It really appeared! The abs that make people jealous!"

I clearly knew he was changing the subject, but I still couldn't help it.

"Don't move around, otherwise I can't guarantee the consequences."

Dazai's thoughts jumped as if he had crossed the Pacific Ocean: "Qiu, have you turned eighteen yet?"

"Not long ago."

Dazai: "It doesn't matter what the consequences are."

What are the consequences...it's all right...

The string called reason in my brain almost broke, and Dazai was still bouncing on it like a disco.

Fortunately, at the last moment when the gun went off, Dazai stopped.

Otherwise, before we become lovers, I'm afraid we have to become...

cough.

In the end, that night I waited until it was confirmed that Dazai was really asleep before leaving.

When I arrived in Hong Kong, I was three hours late.And the mobile phone used for work has been overwhelmed by the reports from his subordinates.

The subordinates don't have my authority, and they can't make decisions on the list they are responsible for at will, and they are so anxious that they are foaming at the mouth.

"Mr. Takeshita, you are finally here! Goods!! The goods in hand are going to fly!!!"

"It's not your bonus that was deducted, what are you afraid of?"

The subordinate is particularly straightforward: "You don't need it in a high position, but the subordinate is afraid that the lack of performance will affect the evaluation of honorary titles at the end of the year."

WTF?Honorary title?

Do gangsters still have this thing?

I said melancholy: "Next time I will remember to authorize you in advance."

"Please remember! Please!!"

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