Two or three things about having a crush on Mr. Dazai

After resting for a while, I activated "Nothingness" again and set off.It was getting late, so I went straight to Dazai's residence.

The supernatural power of nothingness is really convenient, in addition to being used for concealment during assassination, for escape in mortal situations, and when rushing to the sky and entering the earth, ignoring all obstacles.

It is well known that the straight line between two points is the shortest, as long as I know the direction, I can travel in a straight line.It remains a matter of not accidentally drifting past the destination.

Fortunately my sense of direction was good and I was keen on Dazai's address, the only problem was gone.

Not long after, I arrived at Dazai's residence.

I went through the closed window and found Dazai on the sofa in the living room.

He took off the long beige coat, wearing a thin shirt, his collarbone and arms were covered with snow-white bandages, and he was reclining lazily on the sofa.

Dazai closed his eyes, and suddenly opened his lips to say something.

I carefully listened closely, and he whispered softly: "Qiu, come out..."

I was shaken all over, and I almost got out of the "nothingness".

But I hold back.

In the afternoon at the Butei Club, I heard Kunikida say that Dazai would call my name into the air from time to time—obviously trying to test, rather than really knowing that I was next to me.

"Are you still angry... so angry that you don't want to show up in front of me?"

Dazai's voice was very low, with a touch of regret and regret.

Of course this is not the case.

How could I have been angry with him for so long?I'm not willing to let his wish not be fulfilled, as soon as Dazai calls me, I want to show up.

It's just that I think about what Kobayakawa Keiko said "don't be too proactive", and I want to hear him talk more about me.

I have heard Kunikida Doppo imitate Dazai's words, but I still want to wait for him to say it himself and listen to it myself.

Dazai closed his eyes and said sadly: "You have broken your promise to eat snacks in Chinatown after get off work."

Does he remember this?

I suddenly felt guilty.

"However, if you don't want to..."

"Then forget it……"

Dazai's voice was getting lower and lower, and I almost floated on the sofa before I could barely hear it.Fortunately, the living room is quiet enough, otherwise I wouldn't have heard Dazai's almost whispering words.

But the words "forget it" struck me as intuitively wrong.

Dazai didn't open his eyes, lying sleepily on the sofa.His appearance made my heart twitch. Is it because he is too tired from the injury?Still sick?

While I was guessing, Dazai's head, which was originally tilted back, tilted and drooped powerlessly.His brown hair fell down, covering his beautiful eyes.

The skin on Dazai's cheeks turned peachy, making his face extra soft.Upon closer inspection, there was still a contented smile on his lips.

My hands and feet were cold for a moment.

No! !Something is wrong! ! !

He is killing himself! ! ! ! !

I finally discovered the weirdness of this room—it was completely quiet, and I couldn't hear the slightest noise from outside.

This kind of quietness can only be achieved by completely closing the doors and windows.

Closed doors and windows, a closed room, no special behavior but lost consciousness, peachy complexion...

poisoned by carbon monoxide.

Gas leak.

Turn on the gas to commit suicide.

These terms quickly crossed my mind, and I understood at the same time that I couldn’t feel the smell and temperature of the air in the dematerialized state, so I didn’t discover Dazai’s suicide behavior in time, but actually sat by and watched him commit suicide!

I was going crazy, I didn't care about my weak spirit, and urged nothingness to quickly shuttle through Dazai's house, looking for the gas tank he unscrewed.

When I found it, I showed up immediately. As soon as I showed up, I felt the stuffy heat in the room and the strong smell of gas.

With trembling hands, I closed the valve of the leaking liquefied gas tank, then immediately restarted "Nothingness" and rushed to the sofa in the living room: "Mr. Dazai!!!"

Dazai lowered his head and fell into a coma without any reaction.

I picked him up directly from the sofa and rushed to the door.It turned out that the door was locked, and the crack of the door was tightly blocked by a wet towel.

I didn't have time to unlock it slowly, so I staggered into the window again, pushed open the window hard, jumped down with Dazai in my arms, rolled and fell on the lawn outside the house.

When I fell, I cushioned the young man in my arms, and groaned in pain.

However, I didn't have time to care about this.

I made Dazai lie flat on the ground, and while feeling his breath with my hands, I knelt beside him and shouted: "Mr. Dazai, Mr. Dazai..."

have breath.

I settled down a little, but was still scared for a while.

If I'm late...

If I hadn't come to see him tonight...

I'm about to lose him.

Dazai was still in a deep coma.

I put the unconscious young man on my back and planned to carry him to the hospital for examination and treatment.

After only taking two steps, there was a little struggle on the back, and a hoarse voice asked, "...where are you going?"

I supported him firmly and said, "Go to the hospital."

"No."

His voice was sticky, as if he was still asleep, "I don't like that place... I can't even die without freedom..."

I walked on in silence.

The person on the back pulled out my hair, not lightly or heavily, which made my scalp a little painful.

I had no choice but to stop, and he let go of his hand.

I took a few steps back and gently put him back on the lawn.

Dazai was so weak that it was difficult to even open his eyes.He looked at me with half-closed eyes, and a series of frivolous laughter overflowed from his mouth: "Qiu, you finally appeared."

"..."

"You don't like me anymore! I didn't tell you to come out, but I knew you would show up when I was doing bad things."

Dazai's complaints simply made me unable to complain.

Who doesn't like him anymore?I do not like him?Does he have the nerve to say this?

Also, what good is bad?Good thing about suicide?The good thing about leaving this world before I'm not paying attention?

Just the thought that I came so close to seeing him die filled me with dread, regret and anger.

I stared deeply at Dazai, love and another emotion erupted together, drowning my reason.

I leaned down, pinched his chin, and kissed his pale and bloodless lips.

Dazai couldn't move, his breathing was messed up by my kiss.

In the dull night, under the dim street lamp, the brown-haired young man under me opened a pair of iris-colored eyes, and his fair complexion was dyed cherry red, as beautiful as a blooming rose.

I was bewitched and almost reluctant to leave.

When I woke up, Dazai closed his eyes, his breathing was difficult and weak, and he looked like he was about to faint.

I let go of my hand and found red finger marks on Dazai's chin.

I:"……"

Without saying a word, I fled in a hurry.

I used the supernatural ability "Nullness" again, and opened the doors and windows of Dazai's house one by one for ventilation.

Even though I was careful to hold my breath, I still felt dizzy after running around Dazai's house.

In the end, I returned to Dazai's side, and my hands and feet went limp as soon as I got out of nothingness, and I almost fell to the ground.

Kneeling halfway, I lightly put the long coat I brought out of the room over Dazai's body.After I finished, I also lay down, shoulder to shoulder with Dazai.

I held Dazai's bandaged wrist to check his throbbing pulse.

Dazai chuckled.

"Qiu, I know you're here."

I said shit in my heart, Mr. Dazai, you are obviously talking nonsense, Kunikida Doppo has said it all, and you call me like that when I am not around.

Dazai: "It's been three days since the day you beat me up and the last time we met. It's been exactly three days since you left with the bomb. Three days is the limit you can't see me."

"So, if you weren't there a few days ago, you will be here tonight, am I right?"

he asked with a smile.

I:"……"

Yes, you're right, you're absolutely right.

Dazai-san knows everything, I'm used to it.

Dazai continued:

"If you guess wrong, there are two possibilities.

"The first one is that you have always been there, but your love for me has turned into hatred, and you don't want to show up. You watched me commit suicide successfully, and my heart was very refreshing;

"The second is that you have never been here, you don't want to see me again, so you will know nothing about my suicide, so I can successfully commit suicide."

These two guesses from Dazai's mouth made me very unhappy, and I tightened my grip on his wrist.

Dazai said to himself, "And the possibility of my guess being wrong is no more than [-] percent."

I:"……"

I listened quietly, without making a sound.

"Qiu, are you still angry?" Dazai asked, "You have become assertive, every time I let you out, you are disobedient."

I:"……"

Dazai: "Look, just like now, I asked you, but you didn't answer." He moved his wrist, motioning for me to respond.

I turned my face away even more disobediently, ignoring him.

Dazai suddenly asked, "What was written on the note?"

Thinking of the fake bomb and the woman's handwriting, I angrily blurted out the contents of the note: "Mr. Dazai, only look at me!"

I didn't realize it until I finished speaking, and I spoke out.

I couldn't help but feel frustrated. In front of him, he easily broke my insistence that I didn't want to talk.

Dazai smiled: "Well, it's exactly as I expected."

When I mentioned this incident, I became sad because of my ridiculously possible "death"-death from the excessive jealousy of Dazai's suitors.

"Where did you drop the fake bomb?"

"In the sea."

Together with the piece of paper that I tore into pieces.

"ocean……"

Dazai fell silent.

Then said: "Qiu, turn around and be obedient."

I was still sad, still didn't listen to him, and pointed the back of my head at Dazai.

There was a rustling sound of clothes slipping off behind me, and a cold hand stretched out and pressed it against my forehead.

Compared with my high temperature, that hand is indeed cold.

"Are you sick? Did you not come here a few days ago because you were sick?"

...There really is nothing you can hide from Dazai-san.

Now, even the illusion of "playing hard to get" can no longer be maintained.

It was only now that I suddenly remembered Kobayakawa Keiko's strategy of "showing weakness": "Takeshita-kun, please be sure to disclose the fact that you are sick to Mr. Dazai. The situation is right now, so you must hold back and don't be too proactive to say that you don't care." ah."

However, when Dazai committed suicide, I had already thrown my own situation and the so-called "emotional strategy" out of the blue, and my mind was full of Dazai's powerless coma on the sofa.

So I understand that no emotional strategy will work between me and Dazai.

Playing hard to get?impossible.

Dazai knew it clearly.

Know that I love him.

Show weakness?It doesn't seem right either.

In this living suicide scene, he committed suicide happily, and I was anxious to get angry. Who is showing weakness and who is distressed?

Dazai always takes the initiative.

In front of him, I have always lost in a mess and in a mess.

I became more and more uncomfortable, mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted all at the same time, and my chest was tight and short of breath.

Dazai suggested: "Let's go back to the room! The wind is so strong recently, the carbon monoxide should be almost gone!"

After that, he coughed weakly twice.

I got up silently, ready to hug Dazai back.

Then I found that Dazai had sat up by himself, and I silently withdrew my hand.

Unexpectedly, when Dazai saw my movement, he slumped back and looked at me helplessly.

I:"……"

What else can I do, hug me.

As a result, an embarrassing thing happened. My collapsed body couldn't support the weight of the two of us, and I couldn't hold him up as easily as before.

In the end, Dazai took a step back, and the two of us, both seriously ill, helped each other into the house.

As soon as the light was turned on, under the bright light, I saw that Dazai and I were sweating and embarrassed.

Dazai still has teeth marks from my bite on his lips, and there is also a faint red color on his chin.

Dazai noticed my gaze and beckoned me to pass.

He rubbed the top of my hair, smiled softly, and said, "Don't be angry. I've taught the person who sent the fake bomb a good lesson, and she's completely given up."

I turned my head away.

How can one give up, there are so many.

Dazai seemed to see through my thoughts, and said, "All other people's appointments have also been rejected, and there is no contact information left!"

I still don't speak.

Dazai said loudly: "Qiu, look here!"

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw him pointing at my mouth: "Can't you calm down like this? Huh?"

I:"……"

Still calm down, I'm about to die of anger.In front of me, he committed suicide by shouting my name, forcing me to show up; if I wasn't there, he would simply die like this.

Besides, this, is this something that can be used to offset it?

Mr. Dazai is angry with me, right?

I didn't lift it up in one breath, my eyes went dark, and my body fell down uncontrollably.

Falling into an embrace with a faint medicinal smell.

The author has something to say: Warning: The next chapter is a straight ball confession, the progress is rushing, sit still