Two or three things about having a crush on Mr. Dazai

Oda's body gradually became cold and stiff.

Dazai stared straight at the place where I was hiding in the "nothingness", as if he saw me on my knees.

...even though I know he can't see it.

Driven by Mr. Dazai's gaze, I backed away step by step.I took one last look at Oda, who was silently closed on the ground, and then let my body crash out of the wall, floating in the blue sky with nothing to rely on.

Today in Yokohama is sunny and cloudless.

The turmoil that the MIMIC organization brought to the Yokohama government and the port mafia came to an end with the death of its leader, André Gide.

He died with a maverick member of the lowest rank of the port mafia, Oda Sakunosuke.

He is a former top killer, and after his retirement, he became a non-killing mafia. His wish is to write by the sea after retiring from the mafia.Died at the age of 23.

The owner of the western restaurant who was in contact with Oda and the orphan he adopted all died tragically because of being implicated.The only ones who feel sorry for his death are Mr. Dazai, Ango Sakaguchi and me.

I heard that Mr. Dazai personally arranged the funeral of the victims in the battle between Hong Kong black and MIMIC.They were buried on a hillside by the sea.

I went to see the tomb of Oda Sakunosuke. The tombstone is white and small, with no words.

Such a resting place must be perfect for creating while listening to the waves.

I was in the office the next day when there was a knock on the door.

Seeing Akutagawa standing outside the door with a stinky face, I almost slammed the door shut.

I was in a bad mood, but fortunately Akutagawa spoke up in time: "Mr. Dazai asked me to bring the things and said 'this belongs to Aki Takeshita'."

He handed over a transparent sewing box.

There is no bag, so he holds it in the palm of his hand.

The needlework in the box is a familiar color, the same maple leaf red as Oda's hair.There is also a safety talisman inside, the style is too familiar to me, but it is a semi-finished product, and the "Autumn" of "Takeshita Autumn" is missing.

The moment I saw it, my fingers curled up, remembering what a man said before he died.

——Have not given him the peace talisman for next year.

I took the sewing box from Akutagawa and said to him, "...Thank you."

This really is my thing.

Polite expressions such as "Thank you" are rare between me and Akutagawa, "Ghost! Come and kill me!" "Do you think I don't want to!" "Keep hitting, don't hold back!" !” is the norm.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt a little strange.But seeing the relics of Oda filled my brain with inexplicable emotions, so I ignored this strange point.

When I looked up, I saw Akutagawa staring at my face.

"What else?"

Akutagawa: "Have you met Gide before?"

"I have seen."

Nonsense, I have been fighting with him in front of you for a long time, isn't it obvious that I have seen him.

Akutagawa: "I'm not afraid of bullets anymore. Next time you can use your gun to kill me with all your strength."

Yes, yes, I also saw the scene where he was able to solidify the bullets fired by MIMIC soldiers in the art gallery.

I instinctively felt that this was not what Akutagawa originally wanted to say, but I had no intention of exploring it, and said, "I know. I don't want to fight with you today, and I will accompany you another day."

Akutagawa looked away from my face, turned and walked away as if he didn't dare to look any more.

After Akutagawa left, I played with the peace talisman for a while, replaced the original one around my neck and put it away, and then tied the thread without embroidery around my neck.

There is no next one, so you have to keep it carefully.

Later, I accidentally saw my red eye sockets in the mirror, and was taken aback.

The wet blue eyes did not seem to be deliberately well-behaved in front of the boss and deep and calm in front of other people, but were crying as if they had been wronged.

I cried?

——I often feel uncomfortable in my heart, and I am used to forbearance.But he didn't know that his expression was like this when he was patient.

Did Akutagawa feel weak when he saw me crying so he couldn't look directly at me?

Such a thought flashed by, and was quickly replaced by another thought.

—Who am I crying for?

It's only natural to feel bad for Dazai-san.Pleasure and pain are always accompanied by satisfaction and greed. I readily accept all the emotions he gives me.

But not this time.

Not crying for him.

When I saw the sewing box, I even forgot about Mr. Dazai asking Akutagawa to run errands to give me a message.

It's because of Oda—because I miss him so much.

I'm sorry for his death, I want to go to Lupine and get drunk, I want to beat up Mori Ogai for forcing him to fight, I want to cry myself under the covers.

And I regret that I didn't show up to Oda before he died and said "I'm here".That way he can say goodbye to me too, without having to regret not seeing me for the last time.

I miss him a lot.

I was sent by Mori Ogai on a week-long field mission.

At the end of the mission, my boss, Nakahara Nakahara, who had been away for a long time, came back one step ahead of me.

I belong to Zhongyuan's subordinates, and the affairs that I handle are basically assigned by him.Only when Chuya Zhongye is on a long-term business trip, or when the organization has a special task, does the leader contact me directly.

Mori Ogai will also inform Zhongyuan when I have a special mission, so the two missions will not interfere with each other.

Zhong Yuanzhong is also back, so I will naturally report to him.

When reporting work, I silently thought, let's go to Lupin after get off work tonight, I haven't seen Mr. Dazai for a long time.Now that Oda is not here, and Ango Sakaguchi has left Gang Hei, Mr. Dazai should go to Lupin again.

After all, except for the three of them who happened to meet and drink together at night, Dazai spent most of his time alone in the tavern in a daze.

Speaking of which, Ango Sakaguchi returned to the Supernatural Secret Service Division intact as an undercover agent. He should be the only one who betrayed Hong Kong gangsters and can still live well.Mori Ogai did not pursue it, probably because of an agreement with the Supernatural Secret Service Division.

"...The situation is like this, the above report is over."

Nakahara Chuya: "Okay, I see."

I waited for him to assign me a new job, but Nakahara just looked at me with a strange look.

He asked, "You still don't know about that person?"

that person?

My heart suddenly tightened.

Nakahara Chuya stood up with his hands on the desk, his tone was both mocking and joyful——

"Osamu Dazai suddenly lost contact during a simple field mission. He has been missing for five days and is confirmed to have defected to the port of Mafia."

……what?

Osamu Dazai...disappeared...defected?

What is he saying?

"……impossible."

I took a step back.

"What's impossible, that's the truth."

The Central Plains is disdainful and authentic.

I know it's not impossible, I know deep down that it's possible.

It's just that I can't accept it.

"Even you...can't find him?" I asked with a trembling voice.

Nakahara: "Why am I looking for him? I'm very busy. Besides, you think that guy Dazai wants to defect, can someone in Mafia find him?"

of course not.

Absolutely no one can find Mr. Dazai who disappeared voluntarily.

nobody.including me.

—— Osamu Dazai has been missing for five days, and it is confirmed that he has defected to the port of Mafia.

——Do you think that guy Dazai wants to defect, can anyone in Mafia find him?

The Port Mafia dealt with traitors extremely harshly: let the traitor bite the paving stones, kick the back of the head hard to destroy the mouth, teeth and jaw, and then end the traitor with three bullets.

Every traitor will suffer from this torture before death, all crying for mercy, wishing to commit suicide.

Even if the lower-level members are like this, Mr. Dazai, who is a high-level defector, defected to the port mafia. If he is caught and brought back, he will be punished more severely.

Therefore, Mr. Dazai will not come back.

He defected to Hong Kong gangsters, and he would never be able to appear in front of any port mafia.

And if he doesn't take the initiative to show up, with Mr. Dazai's means, no one can find him.

Is he still in Yokohama?

--do not know.

Will he run to the other side of the world?

--do not know.

What will he do next?

--do not know.

I don't know anything about Mr. Dazai.

Mr. Dazai just disappeared.

Couldn't find it.

In the rest of my life, I will never see a person named "Dazai Osamu" again.

The one who gave me the right to exist in this world.

The moment I got this cognition, it seemed that an invisible hand erased all my past, present and future, leaving only a blank space.

I was drained of all strength and fell to my knees involuntarily.

If I never see him again, then what's the point of me being alive...?What else am I going to do with my life?

I seem to have asked, and it seems that I have drawn out a commonly used dagger and aimed it at my throat.

Otherwise, Zhong Yuan wouldn't have become irritable in an instant, turned over from behind the desk and kicked me, completely kicking me to the ground.

"Calm down! Idiot!"

Am I not calm enough?

I want to see him day and night.But it was impossible to see him now, and never to be seen again.

Then why am I still alive?

I knew it was impossible for me to commit suicide in front of the Central Plains, so I didn't pick up the dagger, and I gave up holding the gun.

I knelt forward and hugged Zhongyuan's black boots that could crush any hardest building material.

"Mr. Zhongyuan, please let me sleep forever."

Crush my skull like a watermelon on the side of the road.

Let my eyes not have to see the world without Dazai, let my nose not have to breathe the air without Dazai, let my brain not have to think about everything related to Dazai.

Let me sleep forever.

Zhongyuan looked at me, his blue eyes were reddened by anger, and he snorted, "Want to die? Satisfy you."

He held me up with my collar with his right hand, pinched his left hand into a fist, and slammed my right face without politely, only to hit me dizzy, and his blood poured in his throat.

But I didn't have the desire to fight back, and my emotional anxiety was greater than that of my internal organs. I was at a loss and at a loss, and rolled twice on the ground, lying motionless.

"Da da."

The black boots of the Central Plains appeared in my sight.

"When you encounter Dazai, you still don't make any progress. Stupid, stupid, so stupid that no one can compare!"

Nakahara Chuya's voice was cold and without warmth, obviously very disappointed in me.

"Qiu. If you want to die, don't die in front of me."

"...Yes." I humbly agreed.

Zhong Yuan angrily kicked the door open and left the office. The low air pressure on his body made all the men in black guarding the corridor silent.

Don't die in front of Mr. Zhong Yuan, then find a better place to die.

A certain tall building?Mr. Dazai has entered the river?

Or go to sea and wipe your own neck and sink your body under the sea?

I looked down from the office window, just in time to see a man returning from outside in a hurry.

I see.

I rushed to Ryunosuke Akutagawa, stopped him and asked, "Have you found Mr. Dazai?"

Akutagawa Ryunosuke is Mr. Dazai's direct subordinate, so he must be very keen on finding Mr. Dazai.

"No." Akutagawa looked cold, as usual.

As expected.

I said, "Let's fight, Akutagawa."

Facing my invitation to fight, Akutagawa said without any hesitation, "The old place."

It's rare for me to feel that I have a perfect understanding with Akutagawa.

I shot two shots at Akutagawa's head, and after being blocked by him, I rushed towards him quickly.

The bullet suspended in front of Akutagawa as if hitting something.Akutagawa smiled happily.

Rashomon turned into several black spears and stabbed at me from the front, side, and rear, blocking all my routes fiercely.

It's an old routine, it never hit me.

This is not even a warm-up, Akutagawa's attack from behind is the real trick.

But this time, I let him miscalculate.

There is no need to backhand.

I didn't dodge at all, and I didn't use nothingness. I let Rashomon pass through my body, and the black spear pushed me high into the air.

The pain instantly deprived me of my sight and expression, I opened my mouth, and blood gushed out of it crazily.

Bitter...very bitter.

After I could barely see things, I saw Akutagawa's unbelievable expression. He seemed to think he was hallucinating, and he was still habitually guarding against me suddenly jumping out from somewhere to give him a kick or a kick.

I am amused.

But I didn't have the strength to laugh at all, and my pierced chest couldn't support such a difficult action of "laughing".

Rashomon was taken away, and my body fell with it.

After the bayonet-like sharp cloth blade was pulled out from my abdomen, hot blood spurted out. The pain made me unable to even curl up, and I lost consciousness in my hands and feet.

I don't know if I fell hard to the ground or was caught by something, but there is very little consciousness left.

The mist blurred my eyes and I couldn't see anything clearly.

I said in a low voice: "Akuta, Akutagawa, kill me..."

"Yes... That's it... Thank you..."

Before I died, I saw Mr. Dazai when I first met him.

The handsome young man with messy brown hair was covered in wounds and bandages all over his body, his exposed kite-colored left eye was curved, and his smile was not as sincere as it could be.He only used half of his field of vision to look at the world indifferently, but he could see it more clearly than anyone else.

"Mr. Dazai...it's nice to meet you."

I don't have to stay in the world without him.

In the past few years since the soul became a human being, it is great to let Osamu Dazai know the existence of "Aki Takeshita".

The last consciousness was the black cloth that pierced me and rolled me up desperately to stop the bleeding, and Master Rashomon's scolding:

"Ghost, you'd better go cure your brain!!!"