please don't tell him

As soon as September passed, Xu Chenyuan also started school, and his home was not too far from University A. He usually lived in a dormitory in order to save trouble, and went back when he wanted to go back on weekends.

The school dormitory is a four-person room, with bed and desk. Although there is no single guard, the environment is much better than Xu Chenyuan imagined. The other three people in the dormitory are all from other places, two from the province, and one from the south.

The boy in the south is fair and clean, he speaks Wu Nong's soft language, and he can't speak Mandarin very fluently, so he doesn't talk much at ordinary times, he looks quiet and shy, like a little girl, only when playing LOL Only then will the man's true colors be revealed, regardless of whether the other party understands or not, scold first before talking.

When Xu Chenyuan saw him, he easily thought of Xu Wei. He used to think that Xu Wei had a southern taste, but he would never have any unreasonable thoughts about this boy who played games and scolded others.

After Xu Wei left, Xu Chenyuan seriously thought about his sexual orientation, and found that he would no longer like girls, and he would never like other boys, at least he had no desire at all.So to sum it up, he may not be bent, maybe he just likes Xu Wei.

With a new environment and new people around him, Xu Wei is still immersed in every detail and corner of Xu Chenyuan's life like the air.

When he was staying up late at the library studying hard, he would occasionally raise his head and stretch, and he would always think of Xu Wei.

There is also a boy in the same dormitory who is in a long-distance relationship with his girlfriend. Every day when he returns to the dormitory, he will be on the phone and video constantly. He can't wait to drag his partner to his side along the network cable. Xu Chenyuan is very annoyed by this kind of brainless show of affection , I can't even hide.

The nature of a teenager always feels that I have experienced many things. I am different from those of you who are soaked in honey pots and only worry about trivial things like your girlfriend messing with you. I have endured more Great sadness, I have seen sadder parting, even I have witnessed life and death, so it is inevitable to have some lofty emotions.

Therefore, the relationship between Xu Chenyuan and his roommate is not bad, and naturally he is not so gregarious. Once a roommate in the south asked him why the conditions are so good and he has no partner, and the other blurted out:

No matter how handsome he is, no girl likes him.

Naturally, Xu Chenyuan didn't argue with him, so he smiled generously and said, "It's just that I have a bad personality, so I'm not wondering which one should I choose between our department flower and the music department flower?"

One sentence was so cheap that everyone shut up.

The second year of university, the third year of Xu Wei's departure.

He hadn't dreamed of him for a long, long time, and when he thought of him again later, the piercing pain in his heart was gone.

If it weren't for the photos still saved in the phone so that Xu Chenyuan can review his appearance, I'm afraid Xu Wei's face will be forgotten.

He has forgotten too many things, Xu Wei, the time with Xu Wei, what was the name of his favorite store?Which brand of ice cream does he like best?Which actor's movie does he like to watch the most?

Time is really terrible, it is a despicable third party, as long as there is time to intervene, how profound things will be gradually forgotten, even if it is engraved on stone, it will always be worn away by wind and sand over time.

At that time, it will stand at the end of the story and laugh, look, what did I say?

Xu Wei finally became a symbol, representing both the best time and the worst time in Xu Chenyuan's life.

Xu Chenyuan suddenly became empty, and the whole person fell into a state of extreme bewilderment, not knowing how to go forward——the beautiful woman who was constantly being courteous, and the one who was once dreaming of, but now is as indifferent as water. Old man, he was really confused.

He is flustered and fearful, is it possible that he is not exempt, no matter how much he loves him, no matter how much he misses him, one day he will stop loving and miss him.

Then forget it.

Xu Chenyuan said to himself, since people's hearts are like this, since everything is inevitable, then forget it.

In the spring of the sophomore year, the peach blossoms bloomed, and the girl played a mellow love song on the stage. The long skirt, the soft girl, the whole hall fell in love with it.

She held the microphone, looked towards the stage with an expression, and asked softly: "Xu Chenyuan, would you like to be with me?"

Xu Chenyuan's mind thumped, and he subconsciously wanted to escape, but was pushed to the stage by the noisy crowd. He didn't know what he said, he only knew that he hugged her in the end.

It's over, Xu Chen Yuan thought, he can't go back.

Holding the girl's hand, and listening to the sound of blessings from the people around him that almost lifted the roof of the school auditorium, he suddenly felt that he was too pathetic and too hateful.

With the beginning this time, there will be no stopping after that.

After Xu Chenyuan broke up with the guy from the music department, he dated many people, women, and even men, but it didn't last long. When they finally broke up, they were all brought up by others, and Xu Chenyuan accepted it calmly.

Until someone looked into his eyes and asked with disgust: "Since you have someone in your heart, why do you delay me?"

In my heart... someone?

who?who's that person?

Xu Chenyuan covered his face in pain, and slowly squatted down.

He got very drunk, and his no longer clear mind finally came back with the memories he had lost. He came back to look for him in a boat, dangling on the water!

Xu Wei likes to go to Sister Yun’s cross-bridge rice noodle shop opposite the school the most. Xu Wei likes to eat matcha-flavored Baxi the most. Xu Wei likes to watch Leslie Cheung’s movies the most. Every time he sees him, he will cry, no matter how many times he has seen it.

Xu Wei likes to call him by his name the most when he has nothing to do, wish brother wish brother wish brother, even if he thinks it's nasty and shouldn't be called him, he will still call it one after another, with a hint of coquettishness and liking.

Xu Chenyuan cried and laughed like crazy, what he forgot is not important at all, even if he forgets Xu Wei's face and Xu Wei's voice, it doesn't matter, he will never forget his love, no matter how many years, he They will live with Xu Wei's love.

Time has erased the boy's figure, but the traces of his existence will never be erased.

I thought I forgot, but in fact, I just don’t feel any pain anymore, you are always behind Jianjia Cangcang, no matter if I follow it backwards or backwards, I can’t find you.

Some people miss their whole life when they see it once. This is the saddest thing.

Although Xu Chenyuan was drunk, he has never been more sober than he is now in these years. He doesn't want to escape at all, and he doesn't want to let it go. He has obsessions, obsessions that he can't afford or let go.Those who regard love as their faith must use their scars to prove that love is invincible.

That year, Xu Chenyuan took the passport he had already obtained, and stood in the [-]-degree sun every day against the temperature of his body, wearing a thick doll costume for several months. He frantically tried countless times on the verge of heatstroke, and finally Save enough money for airfare.

He didn't tell anyone, and on a quiet morning, he boarded a plane to Italy.

With a loud noise, the plane landed steadily at the airport in Florence. He looked at a bunch of blond foreigners around him, with unintelligible voices in his ears, and fell into deep thought.

Hmm... I'm a big man, so I shouldn't be sold, right?

In the year when Xu Wei just left, Xu Chenyuan tried his best to find out which school Xu Wei went to from Xu Chengmin's mouth. Now he managed to walk countless blocks under the hotter sun of the Mediterranean coast. Finally found his school.

For the next three days, Xu Chenyuan waited at the gate of Xu Wei's school.

He longed to see that person in the crowd, leaned forward, squeezed through the crowd, and waited from sunrise to sunset, not daring to take his eyes off for a moment, but he failed in the end.

Not to mention Xu Wei, he didn't even see a Chinese with black hair and black eyes.

That was the closest they were, but Xu Chenyuan didn't find him.

Is he not here anymore?Or has been to another city, another country?

The world is so big... Where is he going to find him.

Xu Chenyuan stood at the majestic school gate, the sunlight made his eyes hurt, and he finally shed tears.

Han Han said that fate is not about bumping into each other on the road, but about missing each other after falling asleep.Xu Chenyuan thought, if I have come this far and still can't find you, then can you, allow me to have a little extravagant hope, when I miss you so much that my whole body hurts, can you also, Think about me a little bit, a little bit?

When do you know when you meet with lovesickness?Embarrassed at this night.