please don't tell him

Now that everything has been settled, everyone who should go is gone, and the feelings that should be separated are all gone, it seems that there is not much meaning in making a wish, no matter whether you are sad or sad.

There are too many people who are suffering, living, dead, and those who seem to be alive but are actually dying. His wish is just one of the many beings. No matter how much giving up, sooner or later it will become a vulgar feeling. A cliché in novels.

So he looks far more indifferent than Lu Xinglan imagined. He goes to and from school step by step every day, and goes back to help his mother tidy up the messy house. Even if everything before has completely collapsed, the current life still has to go on track.

But he was not as indifferent as Lu Xinglan seemed. During the day, he was fine, but in the dead of night, deep sorrow and longing began to crawl all over his body. The pain made him toss and turn, and he couldn't sleep all night.

As long as he thinks that he and Xu Wei may be separated from each other and never see each other again, his chest will hurt.

In the few days after we separated, he always dreamed of Xu Wei, sometimes he dreamed that he was laughing, holding his hand and taking a leisurely walk by the seaside, sometimes he dreamed that he was crying, crying so painfully that he wanted to die , but he couldn't approach him no matter what, to give him a hug.

When I woke up, the pillow was already wet.

After a muddle-headed summer vacation—fortunately, this summer vacation only has fifteen days, so there is not so much time to leave him alone to grieve in his spare time.The vigorous third year came in a chariot, the teachers and parents told each other, and the slogans and banners hung in the classroom all showed that the most important war in the student era had already sounded the horn. Once you step into it, you can’t turn back. .

When it comes to such a particularly busy time, some people start to rush to do things, such as his deskmate Zhang Ziming.

His girlfriend Zhou Zhou is breaking up with him crazily these two days, Zhang Ziming is annoyed that he is irritable every day, he has lost several kilograms in a row, and his chain bones are exposed.

Zhang Zi talked about making Chen Yuan, Zhou Zhou and Zhou Zhou shortly, saying how could he be so sad because he loved her so much.

Sometimes I would howl at him a few times, if it wasn't for the evening self-study in the third year of senior high school, and extra classes on Saturdays, he really didn't have free time, I guess he would have to lead Xu Chenyuan to get drunk a few times.

Xu Chenyuan was comforting him insincerely on the surface, but he was full of ridicule in his heart. He thought that Lao Tzu and his partner are now separated, and they might just disappear like this. The distance between you is less than 100 meters. Is it interesting to cry all day long? ?Shouldn't Lao Tzu's tears turn into Ganges water?

Yes, no matter how sad you are, no matter how hard you cry, no less missing, no less love.

Xu Chenyuan’s daily leisure time is to take out the chat records with Xu Wei and read them over and over again. I remember every sentence and every word deeply. Unfortunately, they have been together too many times, and there are not even a few chat records. Then a dozen pages, one sleepless night is enough for him to turn from beginning to end.

The first sentence in the WeChat record is: "Do you want Chen to be a senior?"

The last sentence is: "Xiaowei, where are you?"

It's too difficult, it's too difficult to survive such a day.

Xu Chenyuan threw the phone under the bed, put one hand on his eyes, and sighed.

Xiaowei...you are too ruthless.

This kind of waiting is endless, like one endless night after another, the person far away in the sky refuses to even dream, Xu Chenyuan doesn't know how long he can last like this.

When thinking of Xu Wei again, thinking that he had experienced so much pain and suffering before he left, his heart throbbed again, and the secret resentment disappeared.

When I wake up, I see your picturesque features. Half my life is full of ups and downs. In my dream, you are the only one who makes me toss and turn.

As for the family, she is not at ease. Although Ms. Chen Liping dislikes her husband in various ways... oh, she is now an ex-husband, but she has been working hard as a rice bug for so many years. Now let her go back to work. Guan Guan still found a job in a bank, but as imagined, the development was not smooth.

In the first month before going to work, he was fined half a month's bonus because he quarreled with a client, and he was also notified of criticism. If there is another time, the president will wave the spatula to fire him.

Things didn't go well at work, and after she came back, she had more surgery on Xu Chenyuan. Fortunately, she was exhausted, and each mother-child quarrel would not last too long.

Time passed so slowly, and it was the end of the year. Xu Chenyuan looked at December 31st on the calendar, and thought of what happened a year ago, and his heart ached again.

Half a year later, Xu Chenyuan thought that his emotions would be calmer, but unfortunately things backfired, and the heartache still couldn't be weakened at all.

Xu Chenyuan has now resigned to his fate, his life has become eating and going to class thinking about Xu Wei, and he doesn't know how long he will last like this.

After the annual vacation, the days gradually warmed up. In the scorching June, Xu Chenyuan ushered in the college entrance examination.

He spent a whole year studying hard to ease his emotional pain, and he became the teacher's favorite student in the last part of his senior year.Now that his grades have secured his second grade, it will be up to him to see if he can give it another shot in the college entrance examination, and try to be a dark horse to get a first grade.

One day, Xu Chenyuan's class teacher suddenly said during the class meeting: "Now you and your parents regard the college entrance examination as important as something, but in fact, after you finish the exam, you think it's nothing. More difficult and bitter days are yet to come, no one can escape those who take heavy exams, those who take one exam, and those who take two junior college exams."

That's right, Xu Chen Yuan thought, no matter where he takes the exam, isn't he just thinking about someone in another place?

On the day of the college entrance examination, Ms. Chen Liping took a special trip and insisted on waiting at the entrance of the test center in the sun. There was no psychological pressure at all to make a wish. I thought you would just wait if you wanted to. I don't mind either.

On June 6, the whole city was put on alert. The traffic management department closed several roads, and vehicles were not allowed to pass through, and nearby vehicles were not allowed to honk their horns. It was like Hong Kong and Taiwan TVB catching wanted drug dealers.There are sheds set up by merchants at the entrance of each test center, with banners wishing candidates for their titles on the gold list, and free mineral water and small fans.Originally, Chen Yuan was never nervous about the exam, but now seeing this posture, he even panicked.

But just sit in the classroom. Facing the set of college entrance examination papers that were handed out in a booklet, he felt calm. The first thing that came to his mind was that fortunately Xu Wei went abroad, so he didn't have to experience this life-and-death senior year of high school. and the college entrance examination.

If the kid took the exam——Xu Wei has always been in a bad state of mind during the exam, and he always acted like a baby before every exam and asked him to be hugged and held high—he would probably cry at the door on the day of the college entrance exam.

Hey... That crybaby, after going there, does he often cry when he wants to, I hope he doesn't, otherwise no one will wipe his tears, and no one will make him happy.

The composition test questions of the national paper that year were a bit strange, and there were no argumentative essays. The title was prepared and called "the most profound moment in my life".

Xu Chenyuan made up several high-sounding stories representing growth step by step based on the teacher's usual composition, but he hid his selfishness at the end.

There are some words I told you, I want to make them public, so that they can listen to the love words I told you without knowing it, and it doesn't matter how you try to figure it out.

——The most profound moment in my life was when I passed by you that day, the sunset glow left lip marks on the sky, and you also left a mark on my heart.

When the snow fell and the forest was deep, I turned my head white. I can only offer a cup of warm wine to my old friend. May I be lucky enough to see you sleeping in front of the fireplace in this life. Let me talk about those good dreams with you.

Xu Chenyuan felt that he did well in the exam this time, and there was hope of passing mathematics. As for Chinese and comprehensive literature, those four subjects were purely dependent on the sky. Whatever the result is, he will accept his fate.

When the results came out around July, Xu Chenyuan was quite happy to see his pretty good scores.

Ms. Chen Liping was also very happy and invited him to a big meal.

Then it's time to volunteer.

The day before applying to volunteer, Lu Xinglan came to Xu Chenyuan for a meal, and the two of them squatted on the curb to drink and eat skewers.

Lu Xinglan said, "Brother, I'm going to Beijing."

Xu Chenyuan said: "It's very good, Beijing is very good, read it well."

Lu Xinglan asked, "What about you?"

Xu Chenyuan pushed his hands back, looked up at the stars above his head, and said, "I won't leave, stay in Liucheng, and apply for A University."

"I can't go, I have to keep it, I'm afraid he won't be able to find a home after he comes back."

Lu Xinglan sneered and asked, "Haven't you forgotten?"

Xu Chenyuan said: "I can't forget it. If I want to forget it, it will take a few years."

Lu Xinglan touched the beer bottle to him, and said, "Look at you narcissist, you don't have a home? You still come here to find the warmth of a family?"

Xu Chenyuan smiled and said, "Don't tell me, I'm definitely the one who loves that bastard the most in this world."

"It doesn't matter if the person he loves most in the future is still me, no one should fucking try to grab this title from me."