[Comprehensive] The contagiousness of Northeastern dialect

81 thunderbolts fell, and Lin Ziyi was beaten back to her original shape, lying on Monkey King's lap dying.

Sun Wukong stroked her head slowly, and heard her say angrily, "I, what happened to my white fur?"

Sun Wukong is a stone monkey, who rolled around in the alchemy furnace of the Taishang Laojun, and the road to learn the scriptures was full of disasters, so although a large part of the 81 sky thunders fell on him, his spirit seemed to be still. Not bad.

"Why do you only care about fur at this time?" Monkey King looked helplessly, frowned slightly, and replied, "I've become a charcoal mink."

Lin Ziyi mourned, "I have snow-white hair, my certificate of Changbai Mountain flowers, and I have the qualification to be a mink peeler..."

Monkey King couldn't help laughing, "You worry too much."

Lin Ziyi sobbed, but her breath became weaker and she said, "Great Sage, what should I do..."

Sun Wukong covered her eyes with his hands, and said slowly and in a low voice, "Go to sleep. After 500 years, you will still be the same little white ermine."

Sun Wukong squinted at Lin Ziyi, seeing her for more than 500 years, she seemed to have not changed at all.Whether it's her looks, her tone of voice, her accent, or just that bit of trouble she loves.

Lin Ziyi happily walked around in front of him, "Great Sage, do you think I've lost weight?"

Sun Wukong nodded.

Lin Ziyi was pleasantly surprised, "Really?"

Sun Wukong said indifferently: "Fake."

Lin Ziyi: "..."

Lin Ziyi: "... Great Sage, who did you learn badly from? How did you degenerate so much that you can't chat?"

Lu Xiaofeng couldn't help asking: "Who is this?"

Sun Wukong seemed rather careless, as if he didn't intend to pay attention to them.Lin Ziyi had no choice but to answer for him: "The chief rudder of Huaguo Mountain, the leader of the heavenly battle force, and the nominal chairman of the Buddhist Exchange Association-Sun Wukong."

Lu Xiaofeng was taken aback by this series of titles.

Lin Ziyi concluded: "It's just a monkey whose combat power exploded and became a Buddha."

Sun Wukong patted her on the head, seemingly dissatisfied with the wording.

Lu Xiaofeng thought for a moment, "...so why is he here?"

Lin Ziyi: "Pursue sentient beings. Of course, the main goal is to save me, and you all take care of it."

Lu Xiaofeng: "..."

Sun Wukong looked Lu Xiaofeng up and down, finally his eyes fell on his face, and he asked Lin Ziyi in a low voice, "What? Is this hairstyle popular in the human world now?"

Lin Ziyi said vaguely, "It's not considered popular either. What do you think of this hairstyle?"

Sun Wukong replied bluntly: "Ugly."

Lu Xiaofeng: "..."

Sun Wukong didn't have the leisure time to care about Lu Xiaofeng who was depressed.He glanced around and asked, "Which mortal did you get in trouble for?"

"I didn't cause trouble. It's just that Xu Benhuai came here to seek revenge for what happened hundreds of years ago." Lin Ziyi blinked, looking very innocent, and continued to emphasize, "I'm very quiet."

She walked over, pulled Yu Huatian over with an expression of "nothing to do with her", and explained: "He was innocently involved because of my affairs, although his own death accounted for the majority, but I always I can't let it go." She pointed to Lu Xiaofeng and Sikong Zhaixing, "But they have nothing to do with me, they came in purely out of luck and death."

Lu Xiaofeng: "..."

Sikong Zhaixing: "..."

Sun Wukong touched his chin and looked at Yuhuatian, and Yuhuatian looked back at him very calmly.

Sun Wukong sighed quietly, his eyes fell on Lin Ziyi, and he said helplessly, "Why do you always get entangled with ordinary people?"

"Your wording is very subtle." Lin Ziyi struggled for a moment, then quickly put it to the back of her mind and explained, "Brother Huatian is not an ordinary mortal, he..." She got stuck at this point, patting the rain Huatian said, "Brother Huatian, tell me a few of your own advantages to prove yourself."

Yu Huatian glanced at her, seemed to think that she was rather stupid and didn't care much, so he turned and went out the door.Lu Xiaofeng and Sikong Zaixing thought about it, and followed them out.

Lin Ziyi: "..."

Sun Wukong sat leisurely on the wooden chair, holding his chin and laughing, "He's quite smart, and he doesn't want to be stupid with you."

Lin Ziyi: "..."

Lin Ziyi roughly explained to Sun Wukong that the coincidence of fate can block evil spirits, and then pointed out that Yu Huatian was the person who could block evil spirits for her.

Sun Wukong rested one hand on the rim of the cup, and casually twirled the teacup for fun. Hearing this, he asked in surprise, "Is there another theory?"

Lin Ziyi nodded seriously, "I also thought it was metaphysics, and it was fake. But later I found out that it is really useful. It feels like I carry a lightning rod with me, but the lightning rod is too human and always mocks me."

Sun Wukong groaned, and said slowly: "No wonder Lei Gong said that you have settled down a bit recently. It would be great if you can do that."

Lin Ziyi waved her hand, "Don't mention Lei Gong's mountain cannon that plays with hammers every day. I don't know why he is so dedicated. When you get closer to that magic weapon, it starts to rumble. It's annoying to death. What does Jade Emperor do? He's staring at me? I think what I did, even if it's against the rules, is a good thing after all."

Sun Wukong lowered his eyes and thought for a moment, but shook his head, but did not speak.

Lin Ziyi looked around for a while before realizing it, and asked, "By the way, where is Xu Benhuai? Have you caught him?"

"When I came, he wasn't there." Sun Wukong held the teacup, "everything is here, so I shouldn't be running away. The Jade Emperor stopped me and said that I should send that stinky Taoist priest to the heaven."

Lin Ziyi sat aside, resting her elbows on the table, and said slowly, "Xu Benhuai told me that you won't come."

Monkey King paused, raised his eyes lazily, and asked, "Do you believe it?"

Lin Ziyi shook her head, "I don't believe it. How could you not come? And I even gave you a golden pear as a bribe."

Sun Wukong said with a helpless smile: "Among the six realms, I'm afraid you are the only one who dares to use two golden pears to invite Dou to defeat the Buddha." .”

Lin Ziyi blinked, put her hands together, and murmured pretendingly with her eyes closed: "Hairy Monkey Buddha, my wish is to continue to travel around all walks of life after the dust settles, to see the so-called fruits that are all like washbasins. Such a big mountain of flowers and fruits. The Monkey Buddha blesses me, and everything will go smoothly. I will pick two peaches every day and offer them to you."

The word Huaguoshan has been missing for Sun Wukong for a long time. Since he became a Buddha, he has never gone back, and he suddenly felt a little strange when he heard it.

"Okay. You little white sable is so sincere." Sun Wukong pointed his index finger on her forehead, and continued to cooperate with her, "I will fulfill you."

Lin Ziyi looked around and asked, "Should we just wait here for Xu Benhuai to come back?"

Monkey King moved his joints and replied leisurely: "No need. Lei Gong is looking for him outside."

Lin Ziyi froze, "...who?"

Sun Wukong blinked to show that she heard correctly.

Lin Ziyi rolled up her sleeves and was about to rush out, but Monkey King stretched out her hand to catch her back. She struggled and said, "Let go. I have to beat him up to relieve my anger. There are several thunderbolts on me, which will affect the quality of my hair." Already!"

As soon as the words fell, there was a deafening thunder outside, Lin Ziyi shook, changed back to her original shape, and rushed under the table with a "swoosh".

Sun Wukong bent down to look at her, quite helpless, "Didn't you say you wanted to beat him, why are you so scared?"

Lin Ziyi poked her head out cautiously, feeling quite aggrieved, "Beating is a matter of beating, but being beaten will cause you to sleep for five or six years."

Sun Wukong: "..."

To be honest, I also felt a little dazed after Lei Gong slashed people.

Sun Wukong arrived at the back mountain before Lei Gong.When Lei Gong arrived, Sun Wukong had checked the house and ordered him to catch the Taoist nearby.

He carried a bunch of equipment and walked around the back mountain for a long time, only to find that the Taoist priest was standing near the waterfall, looking up, not knowing what he was looking at.

He thought that the opportunity must not be missed, if this mortal would just run away because he knew how to do sorcery, Sun Wukong and the little white sable would definitely not let it go, and the Jade Emperor would also blame him for his failure in doing things.

So he hesitated for a while, and with a bang, he led the thunder to the Taoist priest.

But I didn't expect the thunder to be so powerful near the water. The Taoist was hit by the thunder and fell into the waterfall in an instant, shaking his body in the water and convulsing for a long time.

Lei Gong stood where he was, wondering if he had killed him, and whether he needed to be rescued again. If he was killed, he would be dragged to heaven with the reason that "Xu Benhuai fled in fear of crime and would not cooperate and had no choice but to shoot him to death with thunder". Can't pass through the Jade Emperor?

However, Xu Benhuai stood up self-improvingly while the electric current was rushing all over his body.Putting his fingers in his wet hair, he smiled lowly, but with a hint of self-mockery, "I can't even feel the slightest bit of pain...how does it feel to be struck by lightning?"

Lei Gong: "..."

I always feel that this stinky Taoist is trying to provoke him?

Xu Benhuai raised his head, looked at Lei Gong, and couldn't help frowning, "...are you fighting against Buddha?"

Lei Gong was about to deny it, but he heard Xu Benhuai talking to himself, "Impossible. Although that little white sable has ugly eyes, but she is so ugly, she definitely won't ask him for help."

Lei Gong: "..."

Lei Gong gritted his teeth, "You stinky Taoist priest, you're dying..."

Xu Benhuai picked up the fly whisk that fell on the ground, shook it, put it on the crook of his arm, and asked, "Has the Fighting Victory Buddha come?"

Lei Gong was taken aback, and subconsciously replied: "Here we are."

"It's not as expected." Xu Benhuai nodded calmly, took a few steps towards Lei Gong, and said calmly, "Let's go."

Lei Gong frowned, not knowing why he was so cooperative, he looked him up and down suspiciously.

Xu Benhuai didn't move, and let him look at him, but said indifferently: "Didn't you come to escort me to the heaven? As a different kind, I also have self-consciousness."

Lei Gong asked in confusion, "Why?"

Xu Benhuai laughed, "If I go to the sky, the Jade Emperor will have a way to kill me. I'm tired of living like this for more than 500 years."

His gaze fell on the wooden house in the distance, and he saw Lin Ziyi holding something in her arms and standing at the door with several people talking about something.He gradually showed a weird smile, and said in a low voice, "It's just that I'm dead. The end you thought was just the beginning of everything."