Pilot

Xie Hong's illness dragged on for several months.

During those few months, Shi Ye and Sheng Xia were so busy that they went to the hospital every three days, and they pushed their jobs whenever they could.

Every time they went to see Xie Hong, she would make a bunch of strange requests, such as what snacks to eat, what poetry collections to read, and one day she actually tried to get Shi Ye to buy a rabbit and secretly bring it into the hospital for her to play with. The state of mind is too good to be a cancer patient.Today's program was to ask them to buy her a bunch of nail polish, and asked for a bunch of exaggerated colors.

Because he had to go to a recording studio to meet the producer at night, Sheng Xia was very absent-minded when he painted Xie Hong's nails, and was always distracted by how to communicate details with the bad-tempered producer.It was the first time in his life that he did this kind of thing. His movements were very clumsy, but the effect was really hot on the eyes. After only two fingers were painted, Xie Hong scolded him bloody.

Shi Ye saw that Sheng Xia had always been called stupid. He didn't like people saying Sheng Xia was stupid except himself, and Xie Hong couldn't do it either.

Xie Hong glanced at Shi Ye's 'work' that was not the same as Sheng Xia's, and said in a sarcasm, "I said you two, you can play the piano and the guitar neatly, why do your hands shake like a sieve after applying nail polish?"

Shi Ye held her hand, helpless and a little lacking in confidence: "So why do you have to paint this ghost thing? Who will see it??"

"Isn't this old lady looking happy?" Xie Hong glared at him, "Don't talk nonsense, hurry up! Middle finger, paint that peach red!"

Gao Ce pushed the door open at this moment.

The three people in the ward all looked up at Gao Ce, while Gao Ce fixedly looked at Xie Hong on the bed.

Shi Ye and Sheng Xia felt guilty for a moment.It wasn't them who told Gao Ce. During this time, the two of them suffered a lot in their hearts, and they were afraid that Gao Ce would blame them in the future.Xie Hong is hard to say here, she must think it was the letter they reported.

After the air was quiet for a few seconds, Gao Ce naturally walked to Shi Ye, took Xie Hong's hand and nail polish, and said, "Let me do it."

Xie Hong frowned and turned her face away, not looking at the person in front of her.

When Gao Ce carefully painted the pink finger, Shi Ye and Sheng Xia didn't move, and he said again: "There is work tonight, you go early, Liu Zhou doesn't like waiting for others, I'll stay here. "

After that, Shi Ye, Sheng Xia and Shi Ye went to visit again, and Gao Ce was always there.The way he and Xie Hong get along is quite strange, like two strangers sharing the same room. Xie Hong seems to think that Gao Ce does not exist at all, but Gao Ce rubs her legs, wipes her face and hands, and feeds her. Do not refuse.They seemed to never speak or make eye contact, just one silently cared for and accompanied them, and the other endured silently, as if they didn't need anything else.

Time passed like this.

After the painful years, I think about it, should the form stored in memory be long or short?

If Shi Ye were to tell you, he would probably say both long and short.When you are with her, sometimes you think... This kind of difficult life seems to be endless, why is it not over?Can it be over?Wait until it's really over before thinking about it, and don't know whether it's better to let Xie Hong live in pain, or to say goodbye happily is more fulfilling.

That kind of feeling can only be understood by those who have accompanied relatives and friends who are seriously ill.

When Xie Hong left, it was late autumn, and she hadn't survived this year.

During the days when Xie Hong was plagued by illness, Shi Ye thought many times about how he would react if that day came, and how he should face it.He thought it would be difficult for him to accept this result, but when that day actually came, all the hysterical situations that Shi Ye had imagined did not happen.

It's just that there was something in my heart that suddenly disappeared.Disappeared, but the shadow is still there, has been standing there, with a cold and sharp outline, running out from time to time to scare you.

Sad, indeed sad, but Shi Ye didn't have the strength to cry and cry like a child.It was also at that moment that Shi Ye suddenly felt that he was really not young anymore.

The front line of her illness is too long, not only the client suffers, but also the accompanying people have been tortured for too long.When they heard the news, apart from grief and distress, everyone seemed relieved and settled.

Only a few people knew about Xie Hong's illness. She explained that she wanted to walk decently and didn't want so many people to pity her as a joke, so only a dozen or so people in the circle knew about it.

When Xie Hong left, there were still colorful nail polishes on all ten fingers.According to her brother, Xie Hong donated her body.She left a box of books and CD tapes for Shiye Shengxia, and a small box of letters, which contained handwriting from different counties and cities across the country.

On the day they went to her house to help pack things, Sheng Xia looked at Xie Hong's room and couldn't help saying: "Sister Hong has so few things."

Shi Ye was silent for a moment before saying, "Yes."

It was so little that it seemed that she didn't want to cause so much trouble for others, she had expected it a long time ago, and she seemed to think that she could leave at any time.

Her brother Xie Yu pointed to a box beside the bed and said to Shi Ye: "This is what she said she would leave for you."

Shi Ye walked over to have a look.

At the top is a collection of poems by Pablo Neruda called Twenty Love Poems and a Song of Despair.There was a lot of dust, so Shi Ye picked up the book and patted it. The page he opened casually began with a sentence: I remember your appearance in the last autumn... Your eyes danced with the flames of the sunset, and the flames of the evening glowed in your eyes. entangled.

There is a sentence next to the faded pencil writing, which is Xie Hong's handwriting:

But I still see spring breeze and drizzle, summer wind and damp water, and winter snow in your eyes.Your figure is still in this autumn, your soul travels through the four seasons, writing eternity and immortality.

Ye Ye couldn't help laughing after watching it, he didn't expect Xie Hong to have such a sour youthful age.But when he finished laughing, he felt like crying a little bit.

It rained that day.

When they came out of Xie Hong's house to mourn, Shi Ye and Sheng Xia were both wearing black formal suits, but Gao Ce was wearing a very old shirt.Asked him, Gao Ce said that it was the clothes he and Xie Hong bought when they were getting married. He couldn't find the suit jacket, but only found this yellowed shirt.

The three of them went to a bar in Wudaokou called Reenactment of Yesterday.

When they arrived at the door, they didn't go in. They looked outside the door. Sheng Xia was a little confused, so Gao Ce said: "This place was called the Red War ten years ago. It's very dirty, right? Xie Hong and I opened it together. At that time, Shi Ye took charge of this place, and Xie Hong even sent him to make drinks when there were not enough people."

Shi Ye nodded: "I still remember it now. First, wipe the rim of the glass with a small handful of mint, put a lemon, add a spoonful of sugar, add a small glass of rum, squeeze half a lemon in, press three times, add crushed ice and stir , and finally add a small glass of red wine to make up the glass. Red War’s signature red wine Mojito, sister Hong taught me to make it.”

Gao Ce smiled: "The signboard isn't the red wine mojito, it's you. Xie Hong was a thief at the time. Seeing that you can make money selling wine, the price will go up again and again."

"Later, I didn't like to tune anymore. I was always asked to mix wine while playing the piano, which was really annoying. The most annoying thing was that Sister Hong would force me to go back to school when the wine was being mixed. Let me go to the college entrance examination, and once bought me a set of mock questions, let me do it." Shi Ye also laughed, "I was so annoying at the time, so I negotiated terms with Sister Hong, and I can make drinks, I get a commission for every cup, and if you earn twenty, you have to give me fifteen."

Gao Ce answered, "It's still profitable just like that." He touched the cigarette as he spoke, and handed it to Shi Ye and Sheng Xia.

"You can earn more from bartending in one night than we would from a trip to the cave." Shi Ye put away Sheng Xia's cigarettes and ordered one for himself, "Later, I still didn't like bartending, and Sister Hong was so angry Want to cut my guitar strings."

Their expressions were relaxed and their tone relaxed, as if they were just chatting nonsense.

Sheng Xia heard something from this conversation, and also saw Shi Ye's emotions.He stretched out his hand, gently pinched Shi Ye's finger, and took Shi Ye's half-smoked cigarette to smoke. This time, Shi Ye didn't stop him, but looked at Sheng Xia's side face smoking a cigarette, and shook his hand again. .

After smoking, they went into the bar.

Gao Ce counted seven or eight red bills from his wallet and handed them to the bartender, pointing to Shi Ye, and said, "Brother, let him go in and make a few drinks, and I'll pay if he doesn't have enough money."

The bartender knew Shi Ye and Sheng Xia, and was a fan of Pilot.He repeatedly waved his hands and said that he would not accept money, let Shi Ye in, and sat on the side watching, without taking pictures with his mobile phone, very polite.

Shi Ye found out the equipment one by one and prepared them, took out four empty glasses, mixed four glasses of red wine mojitos in the order mentioned before, one for Gao Ce, one for Midsummer, one for himself, and another , to Xie Hong.

Gao Ce took a sip, smiled, and said, "It doesn't taste like that anymore."

Sheng Xia interjected: "It's been so long, it must be different."

"It's different." Gao Ce nodded, and he looked around, "This place has also changed. There—the projection screen used to be our performance stage. Midsummer, there used to be a fish tank there. , Xie Hong raised and killed many tropical fish."

"Sister Hong always feeds the fish too much, and some fish always die. Later, she had no choice but to feed me instead." Shi Ye continued, "I didn't feed well either, so in the end I had to switch to Brother Ce. Hello."

Sheng Xia nodded: "She also raised a cat in Dali, named Xiaomi La. When she left later, she gave it to my mother to raise."

"She likes these cats, dogs, rabbits, small fish, small turtles and so on." Gao Ce shook his head with a smile, "The names given to pets are all weird, not to mention millet hot, what kind of old master did she name, Gui Yasha... "

After Gao Ce laughed, the corners of his mouth pulled down.

"It was more than ten years ago," he said.

The air was silent for a while, old songs were playing in the bar, "Casabnca",

After finishing the wine, Shi Ye will re-tune.

While mixing drinks, Sheng Xia propped his head up and stared at Shi Ye's movements.His eyes were quiet and focused, as if he was reading a book.

Shi Ye wouldn't keep looking at Sheng Xia, he would only look over occasionally to confirm that Sheng Xia was looking at him, and when he was satisfied, he would continue to do his own thing.

Looking at them, Gao Ce always felt that there seemed to be an indescribable atmosphere around Shengxia and Shi Ye. When they were next to each other, their eyes and aura around them were gentle and soft, and you would be a little overwhelmed by that atmosphere. In a trance, it always feels unreal.

Gao Ce got tired of watching, so he whispered to Sheng Xia, "Can't you watch enough at home? You should also pay attention."

Sheng Xia didn't hear it at first, Gao Ce called him again before he came back to his senses.

"He likes me looking at him like this." Sheng Xia smiled and added, "I like it too."

Gao Ce shook his head and smiled: "But you really look good standing with him. I used to think that pilots were lacking in things, but after you came, I realized that you have balanced Shi Ye."

Sheng Xia turned to look at Shi Ye again."We're really balanced. It's just ... I need him and he needs me," he said.

After he finished speaking, Shi Ye came over with the wine, and the conversation between the two stopped.

After the three of them clinked glasses, Gao Ce turned the cup around and suddenly asked Sheng Xia: "Actually, the pilot was not established for ten years, but for 13 years, do you know?"

Sheng Xia was startled.

He doesn't know more about the past of the pilots. He only knows that Shi Ye is awesome, Xiao Xiang is very beautiful, and Zhong Zheng is a top student in architecture at P University. Everyone is very good. Their first album was ten years ago. It's on fire.

He shook his head: "I don't know."

"It's normal not to know, not many people know, and Shi Ye seldom mentions it to anyone." Gao Ce shook his head, "At that time, Shi Ye was still very young... Xie Hong and I opened a bar here. A lot of young bands are playing here, now, it’s all big brothers.”

Gao Ce mentioned the names of a few bands, and Sheng Xia was stunned when he heard them. They were all very old and prestigious old bands, but some of them disappeared, and some became Big Brother, all of which were in his memory for a long time. name.

"Rock and roll was not good at that time, the market was not good, and just after the heyday, Hung Hom passed the period of depression." Gao Ce said, "Shi Ye's family didn't care about him, he dropped out of school. Zhong Zheng just went to college, so he was late. During the rebellious period, she went to school and made trouble with him, missed too many classes and was almost expelled from school, and Xiao Xiang’s family didn’t let her out to play drums. The few of them got together and played the routine of hurting youth every day. At that time There are pilots, but they are scattered."

Shi Ye looked at Sheng Xia and said, "Don't listen to Brother Ce's nonsense, it's not that unorthodox, but everyone was quite confused and decadent at the time. Zhong Zhengxiao thinks that we didn't join the band together because we were happy, but because we were unhappy. We played together, so we hated each other at first."

"Later, Xie Hong and I took the Red Thunder Band on a tour, and they followed suit, covering 48 cities. It was winter, and because it was New Year's Eve, they said they didn't have a home, so they asked me to take them out. They weren't even... grown-ups back then."

Shi Ye nodded: "Playing in a band in those days was cool and trendy, but it was also difficult."

Gao Ce raised a finger and said to Sheng Xia: "At that time, how difficult it was for a band to continue, you can't even imagine. Everyone has to do another job to support the band, their dreams, and their self-esteem .When I think about it now, I don’t even know how we survived that time.”

Holding the wine, Shi Ye suddenly smiled, but didn't answer, and only took a sip of the wine.

"In adolescence, everyone's temper was stinking to death. In a few years, they talked about disbanding." Recalling the past, Gao Ce's expression became softer. "I tried to persuade him to make a record many times. Many times, I said I would You, I broke my fortune to support you, you will definitely be popular, I will sign you, and I will make you popular. I knew that Shi Ye would definitely be popular, and I was almost certain at that time that he would definitely be popular. But this kid is not I am willing, I know he just likes to float, likes to play the guitar, likes to compare others, talk about other people's good, talk about other people's rubbish, and likes to be recognized by others."

Sheng Xia listened very carefully.

"At that time, Xie Hong told me that she wanted to sell the bar. She said she wanted to see other places, live another life, and help others... We had a big fight, and I was stubborn at that time. She's also stubborn and gets into a fight."

"I think she's stupid, and she thinks I'm vain." Gao Ce shook his head, "The bar can't go on anymore, and it's ugly when the accounts are divided. It's a shame, Shi Ye knows. At that time, I needed money so much , I just want to do something to prove to her that I can bring something that is considered a niche in the eyes of everyone to the market, prove that this thing can make money, prove that doing this can make us have a good life, and prove that we can be successful. "

"When Pilot released his first album, I asked Shi Ye." Gao Ce lit a cigarette, "I asked him, what if you will never be popular? He replied that he would only play the piano and write songs in his life." I won’t do anything else. I actually thought it was ridiculous at the time, because I thought about it when I was his age, but I failed, so I put my hope on him, he is better than me.”

"I can predict that they will be popular. Shi Ye's guitar is a god, Xiao Xiang recorded the drums live when he was young, and you don't need to modify the sound. Zhong is a high-achieving student, smart and thoughtful. The most rare thing is that their image is so good. , one in a million, who is not popular with pilots?"

"He's popular, just as I thought. So popular..." Gao Ce narrowed his eyes, "So popular that he has reached another level. People inside and outside the circle have started to criticize them, saying that they are starting to make money and doing it." The songs are getting more and more soulless, where they are still bands, they are obviously idol groups.”

Sheng Xia originally wanted to refute, but Gao Ce in front of him drank the wine in the glass in one gulp, and suddenly said to Shi Ye: "Yezi, do you still remember how Xie Hong described her ideal to us?"

"Of course I remember." Shi Ye nodded, "She said that she came from a small place, and she knew that there were few things to play in the countryside, and the spiritual and material poverty was very poor, and spiritual poverty is the most terrible thing. She said that many children When I was young, I had nothing to do, so I wasted time in the billiard room of the game hall, and even went to fights, racing cars, taking drugs, committing crimes, and disrupting society. She wanted to fill that barrenness, because she believed that the essence of rock music is to give people strength Yes, if using music instead of rotten things can give more people a spiritual sustenance, she also hopes that rock and music can become a healthy emotional outlet. She also said that she may not be able to change a lot by herself, but she can do what she can To try, to promote, to take a step, there will always be one or two people will be changed."

Sheng Xia nodded: "I am deeply touched by this, Miss Hong is right. If I hadn't heard those songs when I was young and started learning the piano, then my life would probably be different."

Gao Ce looked at the wine glass in front of him, and suddenly fell silent.

He didn't say a word at first, staring at the glass of wine reserved for Xie Hong in a daze.

This night they were sober and not sober, and they couldn't control what they said or did, such as Gao Ce's silence, and the loneliness that couldn't be concealed at the moment.

What was he thinking about?It seems that it is not too important.

Shi Ye came out from the bar.He originally wanted to drag Sheng Xia away, leaving space for Gao Ce.But Sheng Xia tugged at his sleeve, pointed to the stage, and said, "Teacher Shi Ye, let's sing a song for Sister Hong."

Shi Ye borrowed an electric guitar from the guitarist in the shop, it was wine red, quite an aggressive color.The bassist and drummer both knew them. Looking at Shi Ye's formal black suit, he smiled and said, "Why are you playing the guitar in this suit today? Don't say it, it's pretty cool."

They communicated and finally sang "BitterSweetSymphony"

There was no string music in the bar, so Shi Ye played a guitar in front of it.He played very seriously, the clothes and the location made him have to focus on the moment.

Sheng Xia entered an accompaniment to cooperate with him.They sang word for word, and someone in the audience recognized them, but no one cared about it at the moment, the instruments and singers drowned everything out.

This is probably Shi Ye's most exhausting and exciting performance.His hands were shaking a bit, but he was trying to push the sound up, adding emotions to it, and making the movements look better.It must be good-looking, and you can't make mistakes. How can he make mistakes? This is a farewell song for Xie Hong, and no one can make mistakes.

Trying to make ends meet, you'rea slave to the mohen you die.

(To live, to yield to life, to die)

I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down...

(I'll lead you down that path)

Sheng Xia's face was in the semi-darkness, and he was also in the semi-darkness.

When he sings this song, his voice is very thin. If you listen carefully, you will feel that Midsummer is floating.When you look at the stage, you will find that his and Shi Ye's expressions are so psychedelic, and the voices they convey are distant and sad, but their expressions are calm and restrained, as if they are saying goodbye, with tears in the corners of their eyes, trying to smile , welcome the passing of something.

Someone in the audience originally wanted to make a video, but listening to it, everyone's expressions gradually calmed down from excitement and ecstasy, and changed their mood along with the music.The voice draws close to you, strangles you, sweeps your senses—

One girl whispered, "I feel like I'm at a funeral, but I feel like I'm at a wedding."

There is no symphony in the Symphony of Sweets and Bitters, only a weeping guitar, a singer in ecstasy, and an erratic song.In the end, there was silence in the arena, the sound disappeared, and the heaven-like illusion they created disappeared.The bar is still the same bar, nothing has changed.

After they stepped down, they found that Gao Ce had left.

Xie Hong's glass of wine was still on the stage, untouched, as if waiting for a woman with a hearty laugh to appear and drink it down.

Shi Ye took one last look at the glass of wine before pulling Sheng Xia away from the bar.

They left the glass of wine there.