i see your calling

Lian Yan suffered from insomnia again.

Although he had learned how to be friendly with insomnia, it was not fun to stare at the night outside in vain with open eyes.It is now July, and the quilt is wrapped too tightly, bringing a suffocating heat. Lian Yan stretched out her hand from the quilt, pressed the bright screen button on her phone, and skillfully found Weibo.

From November last year to July now, eight months have passed.

For these eight months, every day was just a monotonous repetition, neatly divided into several parts-eating, writing vulgar words, sleeping in the dark and writing Weibo.

No schooling exists.When school starts in February, he has to pay tuition fees. Lian Yan can’t afford that much money, and knowledge is not important to him. He doesn’t need knowledge to gain a new life, and garbage doesn’t need an updated version.

He wanted to drop out of school directly, which was what Xu Mei wanted to see.But the head teacher talked to him, and on a cloudy afternoon, advised him to suspend school instead of dropping out.

"In today's society, if you don't have a diploma or graduated from high school, it's too difficult to go," said the head teacher. "Although I don't know why you gave up, I still feel sorry. If you can, suspending school is good for you." It is a better choice, you can come back and continue to study."

So Lian Yan applied for a two-year suspension of school, just to give an explanation to the head teacher.

Coming out of the Shen family was not an appropriate choice. Although I saved a lot of pocket money - more than 1 yuan, it was still a drop in the bucket compared to the inheritance, which can be called poor.Xu Mei greeted him with a smile, and when she learned that he hadn't brought any inheritance, she changed her face almost instantly, twisted her face a few times, and gave him a hard look.

Xu Mei's current husband is Meng Hanwen. Meng Hanwen was born thin and thin, so he had to undergo dialysis every other day.Although Xu Mei felt resentful towards Lian Yan, she couldn't really do anything. When she was doing dialysis, she had to keep a shy face and ask him for money.

And Lian Yan seems to have lost her perception of the outside world. Lian Yan forgot the last time she laughed, and her mood hardly fluctuated. She just lived every day blankly, filling all the time with chores, and avoiding thinking of Shen Pingge.

The Internet is suitable for escaping all emotions, and it has almost become his shelter. The screen of the mobile phone reflects a cold light on his face. Lian Yan posted a Weibo. The heat wave is blowing in from the window. Sweat left tiny traces on the screen.

@Do you see my lost glass: The life discount is given by sleep, but the discount is not given to me. I bought half of the night at the original price, and I earned it. [MUSIC: Passing Dragonfly]

He is too lazy to take care of his Weibo account. The profile picture is a doll in a window on the street. No one pays attention to him. The fans are just some zombie fans. This self-satisfying self-talk largely satisfies Lian Yan. desire to confide.

He wrote in the comment section again.

@do you see my lost glass: If only I could not sleep.

Less than 2 minutes after Weibo was posted, a comment popped up.

@fjkybcdkk: Insomnia?

Lian Yan looked at the reply, hesitated for a while, and then replied: Yes.

His Weibo has only been created for five months, but this person who looks like a zombie insists on commenting on every post. If you ask him, he just says: We all like Leslie Cheung's songs, so I found you.

Every time Lian Yan posts on Weibo, she will bring a song by Leslie Cheung, except for "Red" and "The Love of Glass".

That person's reply didn't do any real harm to him. Lian Yan didn't remove her fans, and occasionally replied to that person's comments. It didn't hurt, but it seemed strange.

@fjkybcdkk: Why?

How to tell the reason of insomnia?Anything can bring on insomnia.Lian Yan suspected that she slept too much during the day, which caused her insomnia.But he was not interested in telling all this to a stranger, ignoring that reply.

The night is too long and tormented, does gravity hold it close to the ground?Insomnia is also very miraculous, feeling sleepy and awake at the same time, Lian Yan got up and looked through the drawer.Once a month since he came of age in April, he buys a condom and a pack of cheap cigarettes with a plastic lighter next to it.

Lian Yan took out a lighter and a cigarette, and lay down by the window. The wind was so strong that the cigarette could hardly be ignited. He took a puff first, but his face was still flushed from coughing. Time to learn to smoke?Or someone like him, who also has an excellent talent for smoking?Smoking was not his purpose either. Lian Yan lowered her eyes indifferently, and lifted up her sleeve skillfully. There were four or five circular wounds on it. The good wound last time only left a faint circular mark. The cigarette poked it, Causes a strong sting.

He was born thin, and the two taels of flesh on his arms would be ruined out of thin air.

Burning himself with a cigarette butt, the body will react instinctively due to the injury, and the pain will follow him for about a day, so that he can forget the memory he has been obsessed with 10 minutes ago.

For the remaining half of the night, Lian Yan took a notebook and sat with her knees curled up in the corner to write. He was sober now, biting that cigarette, tried smoking again, and finally fell into the water glass in frustration. After a slight "sizzling" sound, the red light of the cigarette went out.

Lian Yan feels that he has nothing outstanding, but his writing has been praised by others. He needs to fund Meng Hanwen's treatment, and he needs to change the source of his kidney. He hasn't found a matching kidney source yet. If he finds one, he will at least To come up with 50 yuan.

He needs money.

If it wasn't for material needs, he wouldn't have turned his hobby into a career. Lian Yan tried to find the preferences of the public, tried to cater to them, wrote dozens of articles, and sent them to the publishing house eagerly, but no one wanted them.

He felt more and more that Shen Yiming's evaluation of him before was correct, he was just a white-eyed wolf.Every time he was rejected, he would think of Shen Pingge, but obviously he didn't want Shen Pingge anymore.But he really wanted to return to Shen's house urgently, and have sex with Shen Pingge on the sofa.

Shen Pingge should still be preparing to graduate early, and he will probably graduate in February next year.He is now a high school dropout, while Shen Pingge is a top student in a prestigious university. They have become people in two worlds at once. Even if they are still in the same city, it is impossible to return to the way they were before.

The windows were not closed, and the wind from the fan was useless. Lian Yan patiently copied the draft.

When it was almost dawn, Lian Yan wrote in the account again.

@Do you see my lost glass: I'm going to contribute, I hope I can accept it this time, I want money. [Music: "I"]

That zombie account seemed to live on Weibo all the time, and immediately replied to him: Which one did you go to?

This is not a secret, and the same publishing house also has branches in different places. Lian Yan replied: Huiyan Publishing House.

They still live in the original place, a second-hand house, on the shady side, where the sun hardly shines, the room has a damp musty smell, and there are still lunch boxes at the door that Xu Mei ordered yesterday.Xu Mei didn't cook breakfast, so Lian Yan had to eat a few biscuits to fill his stomach. Meng Hanwen sat across the dining table and smiled at him. He had single eyelids and thin lips, which seemed a bit flattering: "I'll go for dialysis in the afternoon."

Lian Yan ate the biscuits in silence, Meng Hanwen was used to his neglect, ate his steamed taro, and glanced at him from time to time. Where are you going?"

The biscuits were also dull, and Lian Yan still didn't respond. Xu Mei murmured softly, "You're really dumb." He went back to the bedroom and took 200 yuan. He threw the red bill on the table, with the manuscript under his arm, and Lian Yan pursed his lips. , out the door.

The publishing house was a little far away, and Lian Yan walked to the publishing house under the sun, sweating all over, and her fair face was flushed with steam.A few days ago, I contacted the editor on the phone and read the first three chapters before contacting him to submit the manuscript. Lian Yan took this as the last straw.

It's a pity that the editor was not there, so I sent him a text message: I have something to do outside temporarily, you wait for me there for half an hour.

He can wait, his time is worthless, and he doesn't need to worry about wasting it. On Weibo, the zombie account replied to him again: You can definitely do it.

Lian Yan laughed, and walked around the hall with the manuscript, enjoying the air-conditioning inside. The air-conditioning reminded him of thousands of miles above the sky. Rubbing the fabric would inevitably hurt, so he carefully rolled up his sleeves and let the cold air blow on them to relieve the pain.

He was reading the brochures in the corner of the front desk. Most of these brochures were boring, but they had the cover and introduction of the work. If Lian Yanlian could publish it, it would probably look like this.At the back of the work is the sponsor. Lian Yan looked at it line by line, and suddenly fixed her eyes, staring at the company name on the second line.

A female voice came from behind, and the opening of the glass door attracted hot wind, which heated up the wound again.

"Hey, it's been a long wait. I just got off the bus." Tan Ning rushed over, with sweat on his head, "It's really hot—let's go, let's go to the office to read the manuscript."

Lian Yan followed her upstairs, her mind was in a mess, and the words were still there.

Jingming Technology Development Co., Ltd.

If he remembers correctly, Shen Yiming's company is called this, and it seems to be specifically about e-commerce, and sponsorship of publishing houses is probably only part of the business.Lian Yan forced herself to get rid of unnecessary thoughts and followed her to the elevator.

The editor's office is on the thirteenth floor. Tan Ning knew that he was mute, so she said something to him, but Lian Yan was distracted by her status as a mute, and responded vaguely. ah."

Lian Yan nodded and forced a smile.

When she arrived at the office, the temperature inside was slightly higher than that in the hall. Lian Yan resisted the urge to roll up her sleeves to dissipate heat, sat on the chair in front of the desk, handed over the manuscript almost reverently, and tightly clenched her hands.

Tan Ning took the manuscript, and the office became quiet, only the sound of the air conditioner and the rustling of papers were left for a moment. Tan Ning put on his eyes, and the high ponytail hung down to the side of his face. Going up, shaking his head at him: "No."

Lian Yan's high-hanging heart sank suddenly. He hadn't experienced such emotional fluctuations for a long time. He anxiously flipped through the back and showed her, motioning her to look at the content behind.

"Although I haven't read the following content, there are already big problems with the rhythm and structure of the previous article. Even if you write very well later, it can't make up for the shortcomings of the previous one. In this case, major revisions will also take time and cost. This The manuscript is basically a waste.”

obsolete.

Lian Yan looked at the manuscript that was pushed in front of his eyes. His thick eyelashes cast shadows, covering his eyes. The light fell on half of his face. The small mole under the corner of his eyes was very clear. Lian Yan didn't move for a long time, and she nodded after a while. Quietly picked up the manuscript and stood up.

Tan Ning said: "Why do you have to write manuscripts? Writing manuscripts is a matter of great competition. As long as you are a human being, you have the ability to express yourself. No matter how poor you are, you can tell a story. To write a good essay, you have to be better than them." More outstanding ability, many people think that writing a manuscript is an easy thing, but it is actually more difficult than anything else.”

Lian Yan took a black pen and wrote in the blank space of his manuscript.

- Well, listen to you, stop writing.

He was too rude, nodded hurriedly, opened the door and left.In fact, he has nothing to lose by not writing.He is a piece of broken glass, no matter how broken it is, it can only be thrown into the trash, and maybe it can prick someone's finger!This is the meaning of his whole life.

Lian Yan didn't take the elevator, but walked up the stairs slowly, visiting every floor, every floor was busy, he could only take part in it with his eyes.The fifth floor is a photo studio, which is dedicated to shooting magazine covers. There are a lot of people gathered. Lian Yan stopped and listened to the clicking sound inside.

"You can't do this! The decadent and pure feeling I want, what are you doing?" The man's voice came from inside, "Readjust."

There was a gap in the crowd, and Lian Yan saw the back of the man. The photographer was holding a huge camera, and a young man about 20 years old was sitting in front of him. made a bid!"

The photographer straightened up: "Whether you like to shoot or not."

"I don't want any more money," the young man angrily picked up the backpack next to him, "You are so demanding, why don't you go to participate in international competitions, shoot some broken magazine covers, I just came here for a part-time job! I'm not a professional!"

"Leave if you don't shoot, don't talk so much," the photographer's voice was indifferent, "There are a lot of things to do if the shoot is not good."

The young man rushed out of the crowd, and Lian Yan didn't dodge for a moment, but was bumped into half of the shoulder by him, staggered, and fell directly to the ground.

It was too embarrassing to take a peek and fall down in public. Lian Yan hadn't noticed the emotional fluctuation for a long time, her eyes were red, and she wanted to cry for a moment. It was pitch black, blindfolded, so that he couldn't see the place clearly, couldn't use his strength, and when he was flustered, footsteps came, and a hand was passed over.

"Are you all right?"

Lian Yan raised her eyes in a daze. It was the photographer. The photographer looked about 25 or [-], with a handsome face. He saw Lian Yan's face clearly and was stunned for a while.Lian Yan felt that she was so stupid that she couldn't even stand firmly, so she hastily pushed the man's hand away, got up in embarrassment, and picked up the manuscript on the ground.

"Are you a model here?" the man said. "I haven't seen you before."

Lian Yan hurriedly shook her head and stepped back. He is not so afraid of crowded places now, but he is still afraid of the eyes of everyone, which makes him feel oppressed. When he turned to run, the voice of the photographer came from behind him.

"Hey! Do you want to try taking pictures?" He said, "Don't rush away, the price starts at 500 yuan for a picture, try it?"

The author says:

_(:з」∠)_It should be available tomorrow, if it’s not updated at ten o’clock, it’s gone.This article can be called the president chasing his wife in the future (. (No, I didn’t become the president haha. The name of this volume comes from "Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter", written by Leslie Cheung. There are about 20 chapters in one volume, and it will be over when it is finished! Thank you for reading ! You can try to search Weibo account (reminder