i see your calling

It was snowing outside, the sky was covered with snow, and the silvery white light on the ground was the frozen crumbs of the moon. Lian Yan was lying by the window, staring at the piles of moons, the cool wind wrapped in snow particles blowing on his face, from It blew from eleven to three in the morning.

He watched the snow for four hours.

He knew he was in a daze, but he also felt that he was thinking.Lian Yan thought a lot, such as the cold breakfast this morning, the closed flower shop and the wilting roses inside, such as Shen Yiming's glass photo frame, his will, saying that he wants to "get married and start a business", and Shen Pingge's fallen one. tears.He looked far away, and even saw the intersection where Shen Pingge yelled at him, the car stopped next to them, and the crowd was laughing.

At some point a person's sixth sense is very accurate.Lian Yan has always felt this way, especially her sixth sense about the countdown.He predicted that he would leave Shen's house, and the numbers counted down before his eyes, but these days they went very fast, and when the snowflakes fell, it became zero.

He is leaving.

The wind has been blowing for too long, and his face is numb and painful, as if a knife had cut him.Lian Yan was almost unconscious. When she took out the suitcase, her knee hit the corner of the bed, but she didn't feel it.

The suitcase was bought a long time ago. Shen Yiming said he would take them out to play, so he bought the suitcase.It was useless at the beginning, but it can come in handy now.But in this villa, nothing seems to really belong to him—the clothes he wears, the shoes and socks he steps on, the suitcase he uses, even the air he breathes, the emotions in his mind, his pain, his His pity, his love, are all given to him by this place.

He is a sojourner, so he still has to pack his luggage, which is greedy, but Lian Yan wants to be a thief again, he is not a noble person, perhaps stealing chickens and dogs is the best match for him.

Lian Yan took the half-left shower gel in the bathroom, Shen Pingge's razor, the used toothbrush, the black scarf in the closet, and the crumpled straw paper in the trash can in his bedroom, The above is the group work process written by Shen Pingge.There are also apples and fruit knives on the coffee table in the living room.

He wants to take garbage, but also to take treasures.

As for his bedroom, the only valuable thing is the bank card in the drawer, the inheritance left to him by Shen Yiming.Lian Yan looked down for a long time, then stuffed the bank card into the poetry collection, and left the poetry collection to Shen Pingge.

He didn't plan to tell Shen Pingge about leaving Shen's house, at least not now, he couldn't say goodbye to Shen Pingge face to face.Lian Yan began to imagine what Shen Pingge would look like without him. Shen Pingge himself is glorious and bright, and the branches and leaves do not cover him, and the seaweed does not wrap around his ankles. He will definitely have a very good future.

Lian Yan laughed again.

At six o'clock in the morning, Lian Yan packed her suitcase. She had a severe headache and felt dizzy. He thought it was the floor shaking, but found out that it was his brain. When he touched his forehead, he felt hot. Lian Yan couldn't raise the temperature. Interested, he just looked at this villa over and over again. He used to regard it as a crystal here. The crystal melted and solidified.

Is such a decision correct?have no idea.

Three years ago, he fell in love with Shen Pingge, loved him passionately and exiled, he was the first to fall in love, and he was the one to end.He gave Shen Pingge unconditionally the innocent and simple age, but he also really felt his own powerlessness. He couldn't continue to drag Shen Pingge, and he didn't want to see Shen Pingge tired. Lian Yan felt that he was There is no way to like Shen Pingge without burden like before.

Maybe he is not suitable for dating, his excessive desire for monopoly, and his raging sense of anxiety will destroy Shen Pingge's love for him, he is glass!That's right, but he didn't want Shen Pingge to protect him anymore.

He wants to break it.

It doesn't matter if he broke it, at least he returned the complete Shen Pingge.

The suitcase was too heavy. When carrying it down the spiral stairs, Lian Yan couldn't lift up the strength. The suitcase rolled down the stairs, stumbled, and fell to the bottom, but fortunately it didn't crack.Lian Yan let out a long breath, and when she knelt down to pick up the suitcase, she was almost submerged by the black spots in front of her eyes.

Nausea, feeling like vomiting.

Lian Yan supported the wall for a long time, then gritted her teeth and pulled the suitcase. The wheels made a clear sound, and the sound followed him away.

The walk was also Ling Chi to him, he walked through the living room where he and Shen Pingge made love for the first time, stepped on the blanket on it, and looked up to see the stairs that Shen Pingge walked with him in his arms, Shen Pingge walked through it every day. He would lead him home after school, jokingly say that brother protects you.

Lian Yan stood at the door again, holding the doorknob, thinking that Shen Pingge should delete his fingerprints from the fingerprint lock.It was just a step away, but Lian Yan couldn't make it. He stared back at the French windows, and the snow was still falling.

His mind was in a mess, and he felt terrible. Lian Yan took a deep breath, but suddenly heard a very slight movement from the door. He withdrew his hand like a fool, stood where he was, and looked at the door blankly. opened.

Shen Pingge's body was covered with snow, and his hair was also covered with snow. As soon as the door was opened, the cold wind came in. Lian Yan felt hot all over, but her heart suddenly became cold. She suspected that the wind blowing in was the cause.Shen Pingge just came back from the police station, he was a little surprised when he saw him at first glance: "What are you doing standing at the door? It's not yet seven o'clock, you wake up so early—"

Lian Yan clumsily hid the huge suitcase behind her back, the wheels made a sudden and sharp sound, Shen Pingge's movements stopped suddenly, before the door was closed, the snow on his body was melted by the heat, and outside was the frozen moon , The liquid moon dripping down from the melting snow, the refracted light hurts the eyes.

"Suitcase?" Shen Pingge raised his eyes to look at him, and looked at him quietly, "What are you doing?"

Lian Yan couldn't say a word, bit her lip, and lowered her head.

"It's still snowing outside, what are you doing packing your suitcase?" Shen Pingge closed the door, with a "bang", Lian Yan was still hiding back, Shen Pingge grabbed his wrist, "tell me."

Lian Yan raised her head and begged to look at him, her eyes were so red, he struggled to pull his hand back, squeezed it hard, and then gestured: Brother, I went to the hospital a few days ago.

The nonsensical beginning, Shen Pingge said, "What are you going to the hospital for?"

Lian Yan didn't know what he was going to say, he just knew that he had to give a reason, whether it was an absurd reason or a panic.The sentence is very long, and Lian Yan draws slowly, making sure that Shen Pingge can understand it.

-I went to the hospital and asked the doctor, can my throat be healed?The doctor said no.

How can a three-year-old's burnt throat be cured?Shen Pingge frowned, but didn't interrupt him, and continued to read his sign language.

-I think, are many things like my broken throat, it is difficult to come back when it is broken, like rotten lychee meat, it is difficult to fill and repair.

Lian Yan had a severe headache. He felt that he was going to be unable to stand, so he could only lean on the suitcase, bit his lips hard, and use the pain to wake himself up. He continued to gesture, and he almost couldn't lift his hands.

-I think there is a ditch between us that cannot be crossed, and there is no bridge.

"It's quite sudden...why do you say that," Shen Pingge looked at his words and whispered, he seemed to be smiling, but he didn't seem to be smiling, "Is there such a wide ditch?"

Lian Yan took a deep breath, the breath was hot, he looked into Shen Pingge's eyes, and gestured.

-I can't like my brother like I used to.

Shen Pingge looked at him without speaking.

Lian Yan didn't want to say any more words. He wiped his face, but he didn't feel the moisture, only the high temperature.Didn't cry, that's pretty good!Lian Yan gestured.

-Brother, let's separate, I don't want to be sad anymore, and I don't want to make you tired.

-You throw me away, or I'm a piece of trash, please.

"...Why did you separate?" Shen Pingge said, "Because I yelled at you on the road a few days ago? Because I didn't let you go to my father's funeral? Because I didn't accompany you?"

Lian Yan just shook her head, feeling dizzy and feeling like she was crying, but he had no tears.

"It's okay to separate, but you have to give me a reason, 'there is a ditch that cannot be crossed between us', this cannot be called a reason," Shen Pingge approached, "Didn't you say that you would have nothing to do without me?" Die, so are you willing to die now?"

Lian Yan didn't even hear what he was saying, she just nodded, and he gestured to lie.

-I do not like you anymore.

This reason is omnipotent, nothing is a lie that "dislike" cannot be fulfilled, Lian Yan thought.

Shen Pingge suddenly stretched out his hand, and pressed his cold forehead against his forehead. Lian Yan looked at him blankly, looked at him frowning, and said, "You have a fever."

"I'll take you to the hospital. Your forehead is too hot." Shen Pingge grabbed his hand, which was also hot. When Lian Yan heard the word "hospital", she struggled violently, shook her head pleadingly, and said " Yaya", the tears finally fell down, the eyes were blurred, and there was a whimpering sound in his throat.

Don't want to go to the hospital, don't let him go.

Shen Pingge clenched his hands sorely, and asked him: "Not going to the hospital, is it?"

Lian Yan just "hmm", crying sobbingly.

Shen Pingge's hand passed through the lower part of his knees, and quickly hugged him horizontally. Lian Yan's hand was detached from the luggage handle. The strong dizziness made him close his eyes, and leaned weakly on Shen Pingge's chest. , The tip of the ear is very red.

"Then don't go to the hospital, I'll stay with you at home," Shen Pingge lowered his head and said softly, "I won't leave until you recover."

Lian Yan instinctively shrank into Shen Pingge's arms coldly, and was agitated all over, but she still heard what Shen Pingge said clearly, Shen Pingge was holding him, no matter what, he didn't need to worry about falling go down.

This scene seemed to be a farce, he was lying on the bed, Shen Pingge kissed his lips comfortingly, and murmured something to him, Lian Yan didn't hear it, the quilt was covered, tightly wrapped he.Shen Pingge made a phone call, and the rest of the time he just sat by the bed and stroked his hair.

It should be that he called Xiao Li to buy medicine. After 10 minutes, Lian Yan heard a very small doorbell. Shen Pingge went out. He forced himself to open his eyes. Shaking around, he still recognized that this was Shen Pingge's bedroom.

Just don't let him go.

He had every reason to lie here, he was sick and needed care, if he hadn't received Xu Mei's text message at that time, he could have done so.But when Shen Pingge went out, Xu Mei sent him a text message, as if monitoring his every move.

- When will Xiaoyan come? Mom has prepared meals and is waiting for you.

-It's snowing early this year. I've made dumplings. Do you want my mother to pick you up?

As soon as everything was mended with a needle and thread, the needle pierced into the flesh and blood, and the pain was terribly painful. Lian Yan collapsed again, and almost instinctively threw the phone out. After falling, Lian Yan sat on the bed and clenched her fists. The room was extremely quiet, only the sound of rapid breathing could be heard.

What did he do wrong?Why did he have to bear all the pain?

Lian Yan opened the window again, but she didn't have the strength to get out. His legs and feet were weak. If he touched him, he might be able to kneel down. The snow was still falling outside, and within 2 minutes of the wind blowing on him, footsteps came Shen Pingge's voice came again.

"What are you doing!" Shen Pingge grabbed him, Lian Yan fell into his arms, and heard him angrily scold, "Don't you know that you have a fever, and you still go to blow it!"

If possible, he really wanted Shen Pingge to just keep hugging him and not let him go, but he sat on the bed with his hands empty, and said to him: Brother, let me go.

Shen Pingge didn't look at his sign language, and turned his head to take the steaming soup bowl. The cold medicine tasted sweet and mixed with bitterness. He sat aside, took a spoon and stirred it to dissipate heat, "Come on, open your mouth .”

Lian Yan's eyes were red, looking at Shen Pingge, he handed the porcelain spoon to his lips, he just turned his head away and resisted silently, Shen Pingge repeated it again, seeing that Lian Yan was still avoiding, he kept his voice cold Come: "I don't know why you want to do this all of a sudden, but there's no need to make fun of your body."

Lian Yan grabbed the bed sheet with downcast eyes, but said nothing, her chest heaving.

"Drink or not?"

Lian Yan couldn't stand this kind of forced questioning, he couldn't give an answer, and just continued to remain silent.Shen Pingge pushed the porcelain spoon aside and took a sip by himself. Before Lian Yan could react, she looked at him in a daze and was kissed by him. The concoction was all bitter this time, flowing down the corner of her mouth, staining the bed sheets, Lian Yan struggled to drink a little of the concoction, and spilled the rest.

Kissing is obviously an ambiguous and beautiful thing, and it should be done in the golden summer sun, in the shadows of the trees, not the smell of concoction, dirty sheets and clothes.Lian Yan cried again and pushed him away, just shaking her head and wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

He didn't want to cry anymore, but he couldn't speak, and he couldn't do anything except cry.

"It would be fine if you weren't dumb. I'd rather hear how you accuse me than hear you cry all the time." Shen Pingge was also tired, and wiped the brown concoction from the corner of his mouth with his fingertips—like spoiled blood. Say, "How can you drink the medicine."

Lian Yan sobbed and gestured to him: Let me get out of here.

"Except for this," Shen Pingge said.

Lian Yan gestured slowly: We break up.

Shen Pingge didn't speak for a long time, and he suddenly laughed: "It was you who liked me very much at the beginning, but now you are the one who says you don't like me anymore. Lian Yan, why are you so cruel." He put the bowl aside, "I Won't let you go."

Shen Pingge didn't let him go, and locked him in the room stubbornly. He was rational and sober, but at this moment he threw away his sobriety, didn't go anywhere, and just took care of Lian Yan at home.And Lian Yan couldn't take a sip of the medicine, and didn't eat. The hypoglycemia and fever bound him, forcing him with near-death pain. The whole body is weak.

Lian Yan was also crying when she was sleeping at night, the kind of unconscious tears, the fever became more and more serious, Lian Yan could clearly feel Shen Pingge's restlessness and uneasiness.

This stalemate will eventually end, just like a war, but the end trumpet blows earlier than he expected. On the second morning of Lian Yan's fever, Shen Pingge declared his surrender early. He lowered his eyelashes tiredly and said: " You go with me to get an injection, and I will break up with you."

Lian Yan was very thin, her eyes were still red, and her face was blue. The disease seemed to have soaked him completely. He looked at Shen Pingge blankly for a long time before he came to his senses. Shen Pingge hugged him tightly, almost making him breathless, but Lian Yan didn't mind being suffocated, he leaned into his warm embrace and closed his eyes.

·

At ten o'clock in the morning, he followed Shen Pingge to get the bottle, but Lian Yan refused to put down the suitcase, holding the suitcase while doing the bottle.

, and refused to let go no matter what—they were probably one of the few people who came to the doctor with their luggage,

Surrounded by horrific whiteness, it looked like snow that had just stopped. Shen Pingge said: "I will pay the fee for two injections every day, and I should be able to recover within a week, and I will take the medicine on time."

Lian Yan nodded slightly.

"Are you still feeling uncomfortable now?" Shen Pingge looked sideways at him.

Lian Yan shook her head and smiled at him.

When it was delivered later, Lian Yan had a serious fever, but luckily it did not lead to lung disease. There was not much communication between them, and the transparent liquid in the hanging bottle dripped down and into the body. Lian Yan began to sing " Love of Glass, he didn't like "Red", but because of Shen Pingge, he began to like Leslie Cheung's songs.

"I used to make you happy

Now it's most like crumpled paper

tear it apart

I have prepared this painstakingly

Any moment a piece of glass shatters and falls to the ground"

The melted cold glass flowed into his body, degrading the heat. Although he was still running a fever, Lian Yan was smiling, staring at the hanging bottle, hoping for a little longer.After two hours, the glass disappeared completely. The nurse came to pull out the needle, and Shen Pingge held it down for him. No one said to let go until Lian Yan took out his mobile phone, typed on it, and handed it to Shen Pingge.

- Will my brother hate me?

Shen Pingge just asked him: "You should always tell me where you are going."

Lian Yan thought in her heart, I'm going to die.But I still typed on the mobile phone, and left the last frankness to Shen Pingge: My mother came to see me, and I will live with her in the future.She is very good to me, you don't have to worry about it.

Shen Pingge looked at him suddenly, surprised and unbelievable, and seemed to want to speak, dissuade or blame, but his lips moved, but he still didn't ask anything.In what capacity do you ask?It seemed that his identity was no longer appropriate, he let go of Lian Yan's hand, stood up, and looked at him calmly.Lian Yan didn't dare to meet his eyes, so she also stood up staggeringly, clenched the handle of the suitcase, ruthlessly, slowly pulled the suitcase, passing Shen Pingge with difficulty.

Shen Pingge's voice sounded behind him.

"Goodbye."

Lian Yan said in her heart: goodbye.

But he was still singing in his heart.

"One life is more than one partner

you will remember who i am

as if I occasionally think of an out-of-date toy

I hugged even if I lost

I thought that glass is fragile”

Their farewell was very simple, as if they just went out to visit a supermarket and would come back before dinner, and it was like the farewell in the singing of birds when they were about to be late for school in high school.But we both know that "goodbye" may be difficult to say goodbye.

The snow had stopped and started to melt, a sign of spring.The golden light refracts the snow, the sparrows jump, all these are synonymous with beauty, Lian Yan feels that he needs to take a nap at this noon, and he rushes to take a nap.

The author says:

This song is really good...I really like this song, and I also like Leslie Cheung's "Cheat".But it's not appropriate to use it here haha.

The mirror is broken, and then it can be rounded up slowly, and it can be finished after the next volume is finished! ! ! !