Absolutely retarded option

Then I went to wash my large hands and rubbed them with soap dozens of times—in front of Willow Bodhisattva.This male Bodhisattva with a soft ass stared at me all the way with red eyes.

"What are you looking at?" I said with a slanted mouth.

Yangliu Bodhisattva felt a fishy smell in his throat.

While washing my hands, I was dissatisfied with the clarity of the ancient bronze mirror, "How old are you?" He didn't speak, I thought he couldn't understand the vernacular and asked in classical Chinese, "How old is the female Bodhisattva? Where does she live? Is she married?" ?” That’s right, how old are you includes these three meanings, which I have summed up from countless conversations between mother-in-law and mother-in-law.

Willow Bodhisattva: "I am a man."

I nodded, "I know, I have confirmed it myself."

He finally couldn't hold back a mouthful of blood and sprayed it on the screen opposite the bed, "Hey, I even painted plum blossoms on the bamboo, which is as broad as it is wide, so elegant." His complexion turned pale.The ancients just couldn't resist, probably because they ate too little waste oil.

"Applauding for love is the joy of the boudoir. I didn't expect the female Bodhisattva to vomit dozens of taels of blood. I really admire it."

"You woman...you are so shameless."

No way, women are not bad and no one loves them.

I wiped my hands, "The night is long, let's go to bed early?"

The pale face of Yangliu Bodhisattva suddenly flushed with anger, "Don't even think about it!"

Strange, ancient men actually have such a strong concept of chastity, I'm sorry I was wrong, regardless of ancient and modern Chinese and foreign.

"Do you practice boy kung fu?"

"No!"

"Heavenly eunuch?"

"..."

"Manly?"

"...No, yes." These two words seemed to come out of his nostrils, which was strange.

"Since it's not the case, why should I let you go? You should be enlightened the day you enter the water." Yangliu Bodhisattva was frightened by me. Although he didn't understand what it meant to enter the water, he took a pillow to protect his chest vigilantly, I pinched the long hair on the non-existent mole on my right cheek and walked towards him with a wicked smile.

Willow Bodhisattva shrinks into the bed again and again, but where can he hide in such a big bed?

I slowly approached the bed, when the curtains on the inside of the bed suddenly moved and were torn in two, a Taoist nun with a round comb pulled out a purple sword and slashed at me, "The thief! See !"

The one who was treated as a prostitute in the kiln, I think I must be No. 1 in all times and in all over the world.

"What are you doing, girl? If he doesn't pay me after I'm done playing, wouldn't it be considered an insult to him?" I pinched Taoist nun's Ziqing sword with my consonant finger innocently.

"What kind of sword are you?"

"Mandarin Duck Sword!" Taoist snarled and wanted to draw out the sword, but the thief's fingers seemed to be made of gold and iron, and the sharp blade that sealed his throat when he saw blood couldn't hurt him at all. "What kind of method is this for you?"

"Finger of Kato Taka."

The Taoist nun looked puzzled, "From the Japanese country?"

"It is also."

"It's not a good person for you to learn the Japanese kung fu!"

Let me tell you that you are called discrimination. You know if you don’t have the majesty of falling into my kingdom, but if you find out, you have to check the water meter.

"I haven't asked you yet, you, a Taoist nun, are hiding on the bed of the head of the nunnery, Mr. Xiaolang...what do you want!"

The nun blushed with anger, "Nonsense, since when did I hide on the son's bed? It's behind the bed, stop talking nonsense and slander our son's name."

I thought it was a little lover, but I didn't expect it to be a master-servant relationship, so here comes the problem, a man who lives in a nunnery in the wilderness as the top worker and a killer maid who is not weak, such an eye-catching combination Eighty percent means there is a story.

I moved a bench and sat down, and poured a cup of herbal tea, "Tell me, are you carrying the massacre of blood and blood, or which female devil your father abandoned at the beginning, or that there are peerless secret books hidden on the beams of your house, or what did you do?" Dad snatched the treasure of martial arts, hijacked your parents and went to an island outside the sea to have sex with no matchmaker and gave birth to you, and after many years, when your parents returned to their hometown, they were severely tortured by the county magistrate and the village chief?"

Today, the two master and servant finally saw that there are people in the world who can tell the dead to be alive. The maidservant dressed as a Taoist nun whispered: "My lord, this man is much better at making up nonsense than us."

Yangliu Bodhisattva seems to be as energetic as a silk, but in fact he is not very weak. He has been thinking of a way to get out, thinking that he is a first-class master in stretching his hands, but he is suppressed by this woman and has no power to fight back. Seeing that she is only [-] years old, even if she was born in the womb How can you practice such hard-core kung fu?It's really confusing.

He thought about it carefully, it is better to show weakness to the enemy, so I was dumbfounded to see this old man shed a drop of clear tears, just like Xizi sobbing weakly: "Xiaosheng..."

"Wait!" I hurriedly gestured to stop him, "I'm sorry I don't want to know the story of the sissy."

The absolute option gave me a call, saying that I discriminated against sissies.

Is it a crime to discriminate against women these days?

Did the sissy team take to the streets?Who approved such an absurd parade?

Yangliu Bodhisattva held back his breath, and spit out a mouthful of blood again.Seeing his appearance, he still thinks that I was so eager to get in touch with him just now, and immediately after rubbing my hands countless times, I immediately dislike him, the change is too fast and he can't stand it.

I waved my hand, "If you want to say it, just say it."

So Yangliu Bodhisattva talked about a bloody wealthy outlaw who was chased and killed by the wife of the head of the family, his family was ruined, his mother died, and he had to disguise himself as a woman and hide in the nunnery.I doubt it.

Willow Bodhisattva... Oh, his real name is Baiyangliu.Why isn't your surname Chui?Otherwise, maybe I can still beat Brother Lu.

I nodded, "Then I will sleep in your room today. I sleep on the bed, and you sleep on the floor. Why do you have any objections? You want me to sleep on the floor in the home of a delicate girl. What kind of man is he?"

Taoist nun: "How can my noble son give up the bed for such a vulgar person like you, and what kind of thing do you dare to sleep in my son's bed?"

I raised my eyebrows and raised my eyes, "You little fairy, see if I don't pull out all your deciduous teeth."

I pressed the Taoist nun on the bed, and made another hot buttock in the same way.

Let's see if you dare to be arrogant.

The gorilla is right, the person who dominates the buttocks can dominate the entire love scene.

It was night, the candles had already been blown out, and in the boudoir there was the sound of three people breathing one after another, which gradually became the same rhythm.

In the early hours of the morning, I don’t know how many days it is. These two people probably thought that I was fast asleep and got up. They pulled out their daggers and made a gesture of cutting my throat. If it were me, I might not be able to let go of the person who knew the secret of my life.

The Taoist maid touched the side of the bed, tried her best to ignore the discomfort in her buttocks, raised her dagger and stabbed at her.

I opened my eyes instantly, and Kato Takafinger activated again.

"I didn't expect you two to even dare to kill someone."

I stunned them with two knives and tore off the curtain to tie the two together. After thinking about it, I took off their clothes and tied them together to see how you two can escape.

He turned out the window without making a sound, and didn't know which small building Zhang Qing was in, so he left him and left?I don't have to go back to the Temple of Mercy.Turning around, I saw something on the railing on the second floor of a small building with sharp eyes. I jumped up and took a closer look. Isn't this frankly Zhang Qing's belt?Why is it tied here?Could it be to remind me?

not good!He might be in danger!

Since Bai Yangliu is a fake top card, others may not be real.

I stretched out my hand to pierce the paper on the window, and looked inside. Fortunately, there was no big tree to block the place, and the moonlit room was so bright that I could see the scene inside at a glance. His face was flushed, and there seemed to be no one in the room.I dared to go in, Zhang Qing was sleepy and had a swollen bladder and immediately yelled when he saw me coming. Before I left, I snatched away the dagger of a Taoist maidservant. This is not always the case in TV dramas. Please come in and make a move. Maybe I stepped on something and a big net fell down, or the floor suddenly cracked and there was a pool of crocodiles in it.It's not the first time I've met. The last time I faced the pastry king Logan on the night of the full moon and above the Bohai Sea, I didn't check for a while and fell into the bottom of the sea. I don't know what happened to Sister Abei and Shao An .

Taking out the cloth stuffed in his mouth, Zhang Qing gasped and called, "Water, give me water quickly." I picked up the teapot on the table, and Zhang Qing said dryly, "Don't take that, It contains sweat medicine."

I cursed, "Then where do you tell me to get water for you?"

"There are back rooms, there are back rooms."

After drinking a pot of tea, Zhang Qing was able to catch his breath. I turned over the gag, and it turned out to be a bellyband. Didn’t ancient women think this thing was so important, how could they use it as a rag to gag at will?

"Why are you tied up?"

Zhang Qing sighed, "It was fine at first, but that little girl thought I was asleep so she whispered to someone about the White Lotus Sect..."

White Lotus Sect!

I was taken aback. The White Lotus Sect is so famous that even I haven’t read a few pages of this historical record. People who only watch TV series know it. I hurriedly asked, "What happened to the White Lotus Sect?"

Zhang Qing lowered his voice mysteriously, "This place is probably the stronghold of the White Lotus Sect."

Fuck!Then what are we still doing here, why don't we hurry up and wait to be rounded up?

"Brother, don't worry. I also have a few brothers in the White Lotus Sect. It's just that I didn't check for a while and I was tied up by them so I didn't have time to talk about it."

You, a vegetable grower, are related to the White Lotus Sect, why do I not believe it?Could it be the lower-level followers of the White Lotus Sect?If you count any village, you can catch a few.

"My brother is the head of the Qingmu Hall of the White Lotus Sect."

Is Qingmutang an organization of the White Lotus Sect?Why do I feel so familiar?As if I've heard it somewhere.

"Let's leave first."

Zhang Qing smiled wryly, "It's easy to get in, but hard to get out. Their checkpoints are always tight, and many people here know me."

Got it, you've been hacking people's walls a lot.

"How good is that."

Zhang Qing said: "Brother is very capable, don't worry about me, I will definitely escape, I will report my brother's name in order to save my life, let's say goodbye..."

I nodded, "That's OK, goodbye."

Zhang Qing was dumbfounded, "Are you really leaving?"

"I know you kid is talking big and framed me."

Zhang Qing was embarrassed, "All righteous people are like this, even a villain may have to refuse, brother turned away without saying anything, it really scared me."

I said with a dark face, "Do you want me to go?"

Zhang Qing immediately felt that these words were a little ambiguous, as if Brother Dao was forcing him to admit something, but for now, only the mysterious and unpredictable Brother Dao can lead him out of the tiger's den and Longtan. He gritted his teeth and said: "Take I'm going."

Satisfied, I hugged him by the waist with both hands, Zhang Qing blushed like blood, "Brother, this posture is really..."

I narrowed my eyes, "Do you still have an opinion? How about I let you down to feed the Bodhisattva."

Zhang Qing was so frightened that he shut his mouth tightly and dared not speak.

Pushing open the window, carrying Zhang Qingfei up to the roof, and flew out of Ganye Temple in a few strokes.Zhang Qing was stunned by my superb lightness kung fu, and stammered for a while, "Could it be that brother is a god?"

The Water Margin world where Zhang Qing lives is a world of low-level martial arts, and there is nothing else for first-class masters to jump as high as they can and run faster.

"I'm not a fairy."

"Then behind you..."

"It's kung fu."

Zhang Qing had a look of disbelief, "Brother, don't lie to me, I, Zhang Qing, can be regarded as a member of the martial arts, and I have never heard of such a kung fu that can leap dozens of feet from flat ground."

"It's so rare and strange for you." Chaoyou Beihai Mu Cangwu heard of it. "The ones you know are all martial arts at the acquired level. The understanding of martial arts only stops at tempering the body, while the acquired intermediate martial arts masters can already cultivate internal strength, and the acquired peak masters can feel the existence of heaven and earth aura. .”

Zhang Qing trembled excitedly, "Could it be that there are really gods in the world?"

Ah, it's not easy for me to find a big brother who doesn't believe in gods and Buddhas in the feudal and superstitious ancient world.

Like an old liar, I said, "Believe it or you won't believe it."

The two of us walked back to the Mercy Temple quietly, and the temple was completely silent, "Did you say that Wuye went to sue?"

"Definitely go."

The two of us went back to Zhang Qing's dilapidated shed, which wasn't too dilapidated, just generally dilapidated, at least it wasn't an earthen wall.

Sleep till dawn.

The Monk Temple raised roosters, but they were definitely not used for eating, but for crowing.For some reason, this big rooster that has lived for ten years is graceful and graceful. Over the past ten years, he has hooked up with many wild hens on the mountain, and even helped wild hens to trade food and sex when there is no food in winter. I don't know how many descendants have been reproduced for many years.

The big rooster is named Luhua, and it crows dutifully every day at dawn.

I woke up the first time the reed flower crowed. It was still a familiar yet unfamiliar world. Only one sun rose and only one sun set. Just like the rooster crowing, Zhang Qing also crowed.

I moved out of the window expressionlessly.Who would have thought that he would warmly pull me back to receive my family, but he could only clean up a habitable house with only one quilt. You can't expect how clean the happy bachelor will clean up the house.

That's right, Zhang Qing and I went to sleep last night, big man, you know.

"Brother?" Zhang Qing opened his eyes in a daze, "ah, sorry..."

"It's dawn, get up, those monks may come and find a way to escape. How do you think Wu Ye will sue?"

Zhang Qing squinted his eyes and got up to put on his clothes, "I don't know, who cares, I'll be kicked out at worst. If you don't stay here, you will have a place to stay."

He said casually, "Are you rich?"

Zhang Qing smiled awkwardly, really not. The Mercy Temple took him in for free. He grew vegetables for the temple and was completely self-sufficient. The monks didn’t pay him, so he didn’t have a few pennies in his pocket for several years.

I shook my head, it was true that one person was full and the whole family was not hungry.

I asked him what he would do if he had no money to pay the bride price when he married a wife, and Zhang Qing said indifferently, "Then let's get married."

Men, no matter the past, the present, or the future, most of them feel that marrying into a family is a shame, but this guy Zhang Qing said it so calmly, he really can't underestimate a shameless person, or an open-minded person.

After washing her face, brushing her teeth and getting dressed, Zhang Qing went to Lu Hua's concubine's boudoir to steal some eggs, and cut and fried the dewy leeks into a plate of fragrant scrambled eggs with leeks.

"Hey, it's delicious." I praised him, "You are so talented, why don't you learn how to cook with me."

Zhang Qing had a strange expression on his face, "I still need to learn how to cook from you as far as my skill is concerned."

Really, what about modesty and moderation, my ancients?

I sneered back without any hesitation: "You are far behind me in your poor skills."

Zhang Qing became anxious, "You can't insult my cooking skills."

He is going to duel with me.

I was insulted by a trumpet who hadn’t left Novice Village and was less than level 999. I competed with a trumpet who had just completed a novice task at level 2 with a full-level [-] trumpet. Isn’t that too insulting to me?

I decided to let him go, "Zhang Qing, don't humiliate yourself."

This statement backfired.

He jumped up all of a sudden, "Duel! Must fight!"

Broad to.

A duel is a duel.

The first item is to choose the dishes. After all, it is a poor country and the ingredients are limited. Zhang Qing suggested to kill the two concubines of Luhua, and use the famous Northeast dish chicken stewed mushrooms to compete.

Zhang Qing went to catch the chickens skillfully. It seems that he has done it before. "The chickens are all over one year old, and the quality of the meat is first-class."

"No monk found out?"

Zhang Qing said indifferently: "Of course I found out. Wu Ye knew it. He told the abbot, but so what? The abbot just scolded me, and he couldn't punish me for copying Buddhist scriptures. A word. Besides, I didn’t miss the stewed chicken abbot.”

... The promised Buddhist temple is pure!

"Maybe there really is a pure Buddhist place that everyone talks about in the world, but it's not here."

There is a posture of having a bowl of chicken soup and talking about life. If I have this spare time, I might as well go to America’s Next Top Model. The absolute option unlocks some functions, including video and text.I’m so depressed because I haven’t seen any new dramas or articles lately, and my goddess hasn’t released any new films recently. I wonder where her aggressiveness to shoot 500 films in half a year has gone since she first debuted?

Swallowed up by this filthy hedonistic world?

I am heartbroken.

Zhang Qing killed the chicken quickly, and seeing his actions, he must be a legendary butcher in time, "You have one and I have one, you pick first."

"I want the ones with poor quality." In fact, Zhang Qing's two chickens were selected very well, and the difference in weight and meat quality is very small. They are almost twins.

"Actually, I would rather be a beggar's chicken." I would like to eat grilled.

Zhang Qing frowned: "The agreed chicken stewed mushrooms."

"How about the two of us being half of each other, and the other being a beggar's chicken."

Stewed chicken with mushrooms should be chopped into pieces, and a whole beggar’s chicken is used. This is a theorem of the world.

Zhang Qing thought for a while, "Medium."

We buried the chicken, laughing and laughing like newlyweds into the kitchen together, trying to burn each other with the firewood from time to time.We were having fun, and a monk with a big shoulder came over. Zhang Qing was relieved when he saw him, and told me that this monk had a better friendship with him.

"Fahong? What's the matter with you? You came here following the smell of meat. You made two chickens enough for the three of us to eat." Zhang Qing warmly entertained Fahong, as if this is not a pure place of Buddhism but a certain place. A restaurant with fireworks in the world.

Fahong may be used to it without blinking his eyes, and said anxiously: "It's so critical that you still have the mood to cook, it's amazing! Wu Ye is dead. Senior brother Fa'an said you did it, I will do it myself I know it wasn't you, but everyone else believes that you did it, so run away!" Fahong said quickly and finally saw me, his expression changed, "Who is this benefactor?"

I rubbed my chin and my mind was full of skepticism. Logically speaking, Hong seemed to be going towards Zhang Qing, but as soon as Zhang Qing left, the monks of the Mercy Temple must have confirmed that Wu Ye was the murderer, and the real culprit was cleared of suspicion.Thinking of this, Fahong's eyes on me were full of suspicion.Zhang Qing was taken aback, and Liushen asked helplessly, "How did Wu Ye die?"

Fahong said: "On the floor of his house, his head was sunken by the incense burner, what a pity. Amitabha."

I always feel that the sound of Amitabha is made up.

As a skeptic, I have to list Fahong as the first suspect.

Fa Hong said: "Time is running out, brothers pack up quickly and go down the mountain immediately."

Zhang Qing: "Okay, okay, thank you very much." After saying that, I immediately went to pack my things.

I raised my hand to stop him, "Slow down."

Zhang Qing and Fahong looked at me at the same time, I turned around Fahong and said, "Master Fahong hastily came to inform Zhang Qing, and kept saying that all the masters in the temple thought Zhang Qing killed Wuye, you must be After seeing the vegetable garden with your own eyes, the masters are sure that the murderer must immediately question Zhang Qing. Time is running out, and you must have rushed to inform, but why did you not breathe quickly when you came in, and did you not sweat on your forehead? You know The crime scene is at least a quarter of an hour away from here."

I noticed when Fahong came in, he didn't blush or pant, so he didn't look like he came to report the news?You must know that those who conveyed urgent military information all ran to their death and died of exhaustion.

As soon as I reminded Zhang Qing, he realized something was wrong instantly.Zhang Qing's first reaction when he heard Wuye's death was that he was regarded as a suspect. No one in the temple knew his and Wuye's long-cherished wish. After Wuye's death, everyone suspected him first.So Zhang Qing didn't think there was anything wrong with Fahong at all, but he had been with Fahong for many years. Although he was not a close brother, he was able to do both. think.

He is really a simple person, why don't we say that righteousness often slaughters more dogs.

Since these great monks can recite scriptures, they must be scholars.If you know the original Sanskrit script of Buddhist scriptures, you are a scholar who is proficient in foreign languages. You have seen more of the world than ordinary scholars, and you must be more cunning.

Seeing Zhang Qing looking at him suspiciously, Fa Hong quickly said, "Brother Zhang, you and I are different in age, but you still can't trust me after we have known each other for many years?"

Zhang Qing's face was malevolent again.

I said coolly, "Most of the people who do this are brothers."

This will not be the case in the future. Everyone lies to acquaintances, fellow villagers, relatives, and friends.

The face of the great monk is like the type of posting ancestral ** products in the circle of friends. The wild Maca smuggled by the door only costs 98.