Absolutely retarded option

Tang Sanzang discussed with me whether he wanted to give the six-eared macaque a chance to play.

Yes, the six-eared macaque is also a very status character.Wouldn't it be nice to get rid of him?

I'm also a little worried, the big brother who went to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures was replaced by me, is it possible that the six-eared macaque is still planning to play me?

Pretending to be a great king, he may not be able to do it easily, but if he pretends to be me, let him practice for 1000 years, he will not be able to touch my essence.

Tang Sanzang said, "Why don't we pretend to have a fight, and you will be driven away by my anger. Let's see if the six-eared macaque will come over."

I rubbed my chin and said, "This is very difficult. I treat you so well, and we have such a close relationship between master and apprentice. How can we quarrel without a fuse?"

Tang Sanzang said stubbornly, "Why don't we rehearse first?"

I nodded in agreement, Tang Sanzang took a deep breath, mustered up the courage to point at my nose and yelled, "You grandson monkey, you bloody monkey, you ugly female monkey demon! You have been calling me all the way! Go, beat me, scold me, kick me, and tie me with your hair! Every day, you dangle in front of me with that ugly face, and put on chastity pants for me! Back then, I shouldn’t have removed you from the Five Elements If you are rescued from the mountain, it is better to dig out a char siu! The Buddha put you under the Five Elements Mountain. I tell you that if you are right, you should be crushed to death. It is not too much to crush you for 5000 years until you are rotten to the bone. There are bones left, but your face is still square!" He took a breath and continued to scold me excitedly, "Thinking of me, Tang Sanzang, I read scriptures by heart three months after I was born, and I have been loyal to Buddha for 20 years before I got the chance to become a Buddha. , don’t tell me that I was a golden cicada in my previous life... I’ll tell you, grandson, monkey, get out of here quickly, any monkey you catch will be a thousand times stronger than you, and look at you, everyone will recruit to the scripture learning team , It’s a dog and a pig, a chicken and a cow, and a dead rabbit. You said you can’t pick it up with a shoulder or a hand. What does the orchid mean here today? The Daughter Kingdom and the King live together, even if it is a man, what are you doing? You are not worthy of being my great apprentice, if I knew that I would meet you in the Western Paradise, I should immediately switch to Taoism!"

I cracked the knuckles of my paws.

Sneered: "Tang Sanzang, you finally spoke your mind."

Even if Tang Sanzang's legs were shaking like a sieve and his knees were weak, as long as I stared at him a few more times, he would kneel down and lick him immediately, but he held back and gave me winks desperately, as if to say that he had no choice but to do so. acting.

"Sun Wuhan, get lost, I, Tang San, will not have you as an apprentice from now on."

I have to do a full set of acting, I gave Tang Sanzang the look of waiting for my mother to come back and clean up your eyes, kicked him, kicked him three to five meters away, and then turned into the sky with a somersault.

"My old grandson is going!" Of course I am going back to Huaguo Mountain. I miss seeing the king and the children for a long time. Huaguo Mountain is naturally far away. I turned several times before I finally saw it. The beautiful mountains and rivers of Huaguo Mountain.

The ability of this somersault cloud was taught to me only after I tried hard and softly, and I thought happily that the king still cares about me.

I landed on Huaguo Mountain, but I startled the monkeys and grandchildren. Some newborn monkeys and grandchildren didn’t know me, and I made them cry ugly. Their parents rushed over and covered them. Shut the cubs' mouths, and spanked their butts vigorously, "Let you call! What's your name? This is the second king, hurry up and kowtow to the second king!"

I quickly waved my hands, "Wait, no, when did we monsters get infected with human stereotypes? Kowtow, can kowtow save you from death?"

Upon hearing this death word, many apes almost didn't move over, crying and begging for my forgiveness.

"Forget it, I'm not a devil, and I can't see blood after I come back. You have to remember, if anyone dares to laugh at the appearance of the second king in the future, I will go into the mountains to feed the tiger .”

An old monkey came over and looked at me and said, "Second Great King, after a few decades, is Second Great King still in good health?"

I just picked up a peach. This peach seems to be a new variety bred by the combination of the flat peach core and the water and soil that the king and I ate in the sky. Although it doesn't have so many functions, the taste is wonderful.

I gnawed it in just a few bites, throwing away a large piece of fruit in a very wasteful way. Our Huaguoshan has a lot of fruit, so we are not afraid of waste.

Speaking of the king, it's really strange, the king should be the first to come out to pick me up when he knows I'm back.

After all, our relationship has carried the golden hoop together, went to the battlefield together, prostituted the gods together, and slept in the same nest.

The four irons are in order.

I knew something was going on when I saw the old monkey's expression, "What's the matter? Tell me quickly. I, Sun Wuhan, are back, no matter what happens, I can make decisions for you."

So a nest of monkeys surrounded me and cried out, "Second King, we have had a hard time these years!"

"Why is someone bullying you?"

It's so cowardly, who doesn't know that Huaguo Mountain is covered by the Monkey King and me?This is bullying monkeys and not paying attention to monkey ancestors!

I slapped my hairy thighs and jumped onto the rockery, my eyes wide open, "Whoever dares to invade our Huaguo Mountain will never return!"

Having said that, I still find it strange that the king doesn't need to protect Tang Monk to learn Buddhist scriptures from the west. It stands to reason that he should stay in Huaguo Mountain. With the king in charge, who can bully the children?

Can't figure it out.

"Could it be a white tiger?"

The white tiger has been beaten back to its original shape, and he is not a bully. I still know him, after all, we live together.Could it be that a new monster has moved outside Huaguo Mountain?

"It's Yu Tamarin King!"

King Yu Tamarin?Where did this monster come from?

The old monkey said: "King Yu Tamarin claims to be the great sage who exorcises the gods, but it is..."

I suddenly realized!

It turned out to be a golden monkey.

King Yu Tamarin, the great sage of exorcising gods, has always been relatively mysterious, and his official name is King Yu Yu Rong.

The golden monkey...is his tail also curled?Maybe we are still relatives!

"How did he bully you?"

Old monkey: "He said that his sister was stolen by the monkeys from our mountain! Isn't this blackmail!"

I ate a big melon seed and said disdainfully: "That kid is here to blackmail people, what benefit does he want?"

"He said that if he didn't hand over his sister, he would flatten Huaguo Mountain."

I was furious, "What a monkey! He will come back and forth!"

After talking so much, the old monkey still didn't tell me where the king went.

"Your Majesty said that you want to become a saint and become an ancestor. It seems that you have found some ancient ruins, which are extremely dangerous. Your Majesty said that you might never go back. I asked him what to do if he never came back. His Majesty said that if he never returned Just go and never come back!"

You are worthy of being my great king, and the title of Monkey King is worthy of the name.

·

After the Great Sage Fleeing Heaven left, there were no more than ten people left in the scripture-seeking team, and people's hearts were a little scattered.

Xiaotiangou and Yutu sat together, and Yutu ignored the courteous Xiaotiangou, but he was a straight male rabbit.Xiaotiangou is suffering and can't tell, and it's spring when all things multiply, but he doesn't even have to watch dog movies. Dog life is really lonely as snow.

Yutu looked at Xiaotiangou in disgust, "You are far from my origin."

Xiao Tiangou put on a dog face and said, "I'm afraid you'll be freezing."

Xiaotiangou used to be a native dog, and Yutu was an ordinary white rabbit. On the market, a black dog costs 30 yuan, a white rabbit costs [-] yuan, and a half-dead rabbit costs [-] yuan.It can be said that they are equal in lineage.

One is the Datang Garden Dog and the other is the Datang White Rabbit.

After rounding up, there is a Langyuan fairy flower and a beautiful jade flawless, a natural couple.

As soon as Sha Wujing joined the Buddhist scriptures team, he became an honest person. The afro head and skull necklace were gone, just like Yamazaki Tai who joined the Shinsengumi and no longer called himself Dashan Shagui.He was very attentive to his master Tang Sanzang, and Tang Sanzang shouted that finding an apprentice is the same as marrying a wife, you have to be able to serve others, or why should you marry/accept?

Red Boy was ordered to take care of Little Phoenix, and with a swaddling baby on his chest, he was feeding Little Phoenix by the fire.Ever since I found out that Little Phoenix is ​​Phoenix and not a chicken, Red Boy has become a lot more honest. Although Little Phoenix is ​​so flimsy, he is an ancient mythical beast. A single feather from a bird is thicker than his waist. Red Boy has always been in society, so the decision is still Get on good terms with exotic animals.

The white dragon horse also turned into a human form. This Tang Sanzang is a good monk and does not enslave non-human beings.

Bajie leaned under the tree and looked at the moon, wondering if he thought of Chang'e again.

As for Tang Sanzang's real mount, the tiger, he ran away twisting his fat hips when he heard a tigress roaring in the forest in the spring season when all things revived, but he would always come back.

As for Huang Feng, he didn't know where he went. Of course, he had the privilege of bringing money into the team.

Another full moon night.

Tang Sanzang was a little sleepy, and suddenly his eyes blurred, and a black square-faced female monkey monster jumped to the ground, seeing Tang Sanzang yelling affectionately, "Master, I'm back."

This monkey is the six-eared macaque.

Tang Seng stared at him for a few seconds, looked up at the same moon as Bajie, and said, "Wuhan, the moonlight tonight is so beautiful."

No matter how powerful the six-eared macaque is, it would not understand what Tang Seng said.

"Master!" The six-eared macaque thought Tang Seng was still taking Joe and refused to forgive 'him', "Master, I know I was wrong, and I will definitely listen to you from now on."

Bajie twitched his lips, and the others twitched their lips too, even if she killed the female monkey monster, she would not be able to say the word obedient.

And Tang Sanzang thought to himself: The quality of the six-eared macaque this time is not good, it completely ruined the character design of the great sage.

But all of them are not enough to fight the six-eared macaque, "Since you are back, stay here, and don't make any trouble."

"Thank you, Master."

The scripture learning team welcomed the arrival of the six-eared macaque very much. Tang Sanzang said that as long as it is a monkey, it is better than Sun Wufan.

Little Fenghuang crawled out of his swaddling clothes. In fact, he didn't need this thing at all. He limped to the side of the six-eared macaque and grabbed his legs and climbed up. Finally, he climbed up to the chest. He pressed his little hand on the furry chest, The milk voice said childishly: "Brother Monkey, I want to drink milk!" The voice was so loud and clear, it was worthy of being a descendant of Phoenix.

The six-eared macaque felt that there was something wrong with his eyesight. Does Fenghuang need to drink milk?isn't it a birdBirds do not have the function of producing milk!

Little Fenghuang fumbled wildly with her small hands, and was about to mouth it after touching it.

Six-eared macaque encountered a major crisis on the first night when it played the role of the Great Sage.

He has no milk!But it can be transformed.

No, no, this is not the main problem right now.Rather, why does the monkey feed the phoenix?

He squeezed out a smile, "You are no longer a baby, you can't drink milk."

Xiao Fenghuang's mouth was flattened and he was about to cry, "A few days ago you said that I can drink as much as I want! You don't mean anything!"

The six-eared macaque has brain pain and looks helpless and pitiful.Zhu Bajie said empathetically, "Little Phoenix, don't be so embarrassing, the elder sister will be shy, you find a place where no one is around, the elder elder sister is a girl, isn't she..."

old pig!This seat remembers you!

The six-eared macaque had no choice but to take Xiaofenghuang to the grove, and there were swallowing sounds from time to time.

Zhu Bajie and other goblins covered their mouths and laughed wildly.

If you can't abuse (dare not) Sun Wuhan, it would be great to abuse a goblin who is exactly like her.I hope that the big sister will come back later and let them have enough fun.

The path of learning is complicated, the process is tortuous, and the future is dark.At least that's true for six-eared macaques.

I thought that Xiao Fenghuang's clamor for breastfeeding was the low point of his fake and shoddy monkey life, but he didn't expect this team to be far more than that.

It was time to leave the next day, and the tiger on his mount hadn’t come back yet. Oh, Tang Sanzang gave the tiger a name. After all, it was also a monster, so it was called Jinmaohu.

The line is: Where is Wu Song's child!Come out and fight grandpa!

Although Jinmaohu didn't know who Wu Song was, Tang Sanzang said that Wu Song was the tiger's old enemy, claiming to kill every one he saw.

Not long after, the Yellow Wind Monster also came back. As soon as he saw the six-eared macaque, he knew it was not his brother monkey. After biting Zhu Bajie's ears a few times, he approached the six-eared macaque with mischievous eyes, and said with a troubled face: "Even if the master If you have that kind of request for you, you can't call the master an obscene monk."

Aww? ?

The six-eared macaque couldn't help picking its ears, what's wrong?

The obscene monk?

That kind of request?

Huang Fenggui sighed, "One day is a teacher and life is a father, the master has an order and the apprentice has to follow, otherwise it is deceiving the master and destroying the ancestors, brother monkey, don't resist, you are back, don't you agree? Why bother to maintain the original shape?"

The human figure of Sun Wufan overwhelms Chang'e, and the six-eared macaque is also aware of this unreasonable phenomenon.

But he never expected that Tang Sanzang and Sun Wufan would have such a dirty relationship!

Listening to Sun Wuhan is not happy?

So what does Tang Sanzang mean?

Unexpectedly, the reincarnation of Wei Guangzheng Master Xuanzang and Jin Chanzi still has this hobby?

Even his well-informed six-eared macaque was shocked.

The yellow wind monster urged the six-eared macaque so that he had no time to think, "Go quickly, the master will not give you many chances."

How can such a monk be qualified to learn from the West!

Is Guanyin Bodhisattva blind?

The six-eared macaque was so angry that he wanted to eat him when he thought that the catastrophe of heaven and earth was in the hands of such a Tang Sanzang!

The six-eared macaque approached Tang Seng with heavy steps.

"Master." He said with a low eyebrow.

Tang Sanzang: "Have you thought it through?"

"Yes."

"Since that's the case, what are you still doing with the main body!"

The six-eared macaque thought for a while and turned into a human form. This was the first time Tang Sanzang saw the true face of Sun Wufan, and he almost knelt down. How did Brother Monkey look like this?Are you right? ?It's unbelievable, both Luo Guanzhong and Shi Naian will be scared off the coffin.

"Gohan, give Master a shoulder squeeze."

"Yes."

"Gohan, beat your teacher's leg."

"Yes……"

"Gohan, pinch my teacher's feet."

"Yes…………"

"Gohan, give Master a massage."

"…………"

"Gohan, masturbate for my teacher..."

The six-eared macaque clenched its fist and sent Tang Sanzang flying out with one fist, breaking several tall trees with a thick waist. Can this man still live?

Tang Sanzang vomited blood and passed out.

Wu Jing screamed: "Second Senior Brother is not good, Senior Sister beat Master to death!"

Zhu Bajie: "What do you call mourning, the master is still angry, go to the Heavenly Court to find the Taishang Laojun and get a Nine-turn Returning Soul Pill."

Tang Sanzang said with difficulty: "After Nine Turns Returns to Soul Pill, Nine Turns Golden Body will definitely be gone..."