why are they still in love

Chi Yan recently introduced a new assembly line to the processing factory, and basically never went home. Xiao Zhaoshan can stay on the second floor for a whole day without going downstairs, eat only one meal a day, and sleep for five or six hours. I spend all my time reading, drawing, and changing paintings.

Opening the door for the hotel delivery staff became the only reason for him to go downstairs.

Until this day, I heard the food delivery staff say: "Our hotel has improved the fresh-keeping plan, and now the fruit wood roast goose and Wellington steak can also be delivered, which is suitable for two people. Mr. Xiao and his wife can try it next time. ", so he remembered that there should be another person at home, and this person has never been so quiet.

It was uncomfortably quiet.

Xiao Zhaoshan put the exquisitely packaged Cantonese cuisine on the dining table, turned around and knocked on Xiao Chining's door.

No sound came from the room.

Xiao Chining might have fallen asleep, so he stepped up and knocked twice: "Open the door."

Still no response.

He pressed the doorknob again, and as expected, the room was locked and he couldn't get in.

Before Xiao Chining came to Beijing, this room did not belong.Most of Chi Yan's lovers are out of town, and he never lets his lovers sleep in the master bedroom on the first floor. In addition, there is a nanny who cleans the house regularly, so that seven or eight years have passed since he moved in, and he has almost forgotten about this room. What does it look like inside, let alone where the spare key is.

He didn't know that Xiao Chining started to stay behind closed doors a few days after the girl's death. Anyway, it was absolutely impossible for him to spend his whole life shutting himself in the room like this without eating or drinking.No matter how heavy the grief is, it will be disintegrated by the survival instinct, Xiao Zhaoshan believes so.

He returned to the second floor with the meal, and continued to modify the drawing after the meal.

There are still many things to prepare.Yue Zezhang wanted to eat Fangshan's one-billion-level development projects by himself. Even if all the hidden posts started at the same time, they would definitely not be able to clean them all at once.With the second and third times, this huge capital chain will naturally output more and more evidence.

Xiao Zhaoshan held 600 million ledgers in his hand, but he didn't intend to use this money to pry Yue Zezhang's nerves. The two groups of people from the government's bidding and discipline inspection office are very likely to be the same as him, and rashly making a move will only cause fire On the upper body, only tax issues can attract the attention of the above.

One person has one person's interests, and one country also has one country's interests.Yue Zezhang's hands can't cover the sky. Although there are people everywhere extending his tentacles and rooting for him, it's still delusional to go up and swallow the biggest fish.No matter how high he climbs, can he surpass the sky?

Before leaving the Japanese room that day, the young and passionate policeman asked him: "Mr. Xiao, with all due respect, it takes a lot of life to do this. You are living a good life. Why do you take the risk of exposing him?"

Xiao Zhaoshan looked at the hotel on the drawing paper while exhaling smoke, and his thoughts drifted to the Hengduan Mountains where the drizzle was pouring heavily.

"I just wanted to paint something I was happy to paint, but he got my hands dirty," he replied at the time.

Auditing, taxation, competition, expansion and capital operation are all not what he likes to do. 20 years ago, he was just an ordinary oil painting student who played dice all night in the bar and did not forget to go to the tutor class early in the morning. He was a lunatic who could spend two nights in the mountains alone with a tent on his back and some dry food. A genius with no shortage of money but no friends, no shortage of inspiration and no shortage of fans.

Yue Zezhang's ambition combined with his own naivety to kill such love and talent.

After "Moon Night in the Forest" sold for a sky-high price, he announced that he would temporarily close his pen. At that time, who in the industry would not regret it, and who would not regret it?However, who can personally experience his unwillingness and resentment?

"Yue Zezhang can send me to prison, and I can also imprison him in a high wall." He took off his pocket watch, put on his suit jacket, and said to the policeman, "My life is hard enough."

To some extent, Xiao Chining seems to have inherited this characteristic.

He has bled so much, had so many scars, and his self-healing ability is amazing. Every time he falls, he stands up once, pushes him away ten thousand times, and then sticks him back ten thousand and one times. He is as stubborn as if there is no bottom line. in principle.

Xiao Zhaoshan was actually very curious, whether this time would be the limit of his healing ability.

He couldn't control himself and wanted to see what Xiao Chining looked like now.

He extinguished his cigarette butt, took out his mobile phone and called Chi Yan, wanting to ask her where the keys to each room were.Chi Yan said she didn't know.

He asked her if she had received a call from Xiao Chining's class teacher. After all, Xiao Chining should have not gone to school for several days, but Chi Yan said no.

"I need to change into a sterile suit when I enter the factory. Maybe I didn't receive it. I'll ask my secretary later."

Chi Yan hung up the phone first, and Xiao Zhaoshan sat in the studio while changing the picture and waiting for her news, but until night fell, he did not wait for Chi Yan's reply.

He understands that Chi Yan is busy, but it doesn't mean he will tolerate endless waiting.Since none of them know, it's better to ask Xiao Chining directly.

He went downstairs and knocked on the door for the second time today.

"Open the door."

Xiao Chining ignored him.

He repeated: "Open the door."

There was still no movement inside the door, like an empty room that locked itself.

Xiao Zhaoshan paused for a while, then said in a deep voice to the silence: "Your friend told me a lot that day, come out if you want to know, I'll just wait for you for a minute."

After finishing speaking, he lowered his head to look at the watch, and when the second hand was still [-] degrees away from making a full circle, the sound of footsteps from far to near finally came from inside the door.

He folded his arms and leaned against the door frame, slightly hooking the corners of his mouth.

With a click, the lock was unscrewed, and then the door that had been closed for a long time was also opened, and Xiao Chining, whom he had not seen for a long time, appeared behind the door.

Xiao Zhaoshan raised his eyes leisurely, but the smile in his eyes dissipated immediately after seeing the figure in front of him clearly, and turned into shock.

Xiao Chining's complexion was sallow, his lips were white, and he was still wearing the bloody coat from that night. His hair was so greasy that it stuck to his forehead, and his whole body exuded a strange smell, like rotten milk and bread.

He was leaning on the wall with difficulty, his eyes were unfocused, and he asked weakly, "What did she say?"

The shock in Xiao Zhaoshan's eyes turned into anger again.

He straightened up from the door frame, grabbed Xiao Chining's wrist, and dragged him into the bathroom by biting his back molars.

The room was pitch black. He turned on the light in the bathroom, pushed Xiao Chining, who was too hungry to resist, into the shower room separated by a glass door, forcibly stripped off his clothes and underwear, and stretched out his hand to unscrew them. Sprinkle, and turn to get the shampoo and body wash on the shelf.

The water heated up quickly, and Xiao Chining couldn't stand still without any help. He sat softly on the tiles along the wall, lowered his eyes and let a pair of big hands wipe the foam on the top of his head.

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't care about half of his body and was completely soaked. He carefully cleaned Xiao Chining's dirty hair, and at the same time looked up and down at his emaciated body.

He has hugged, touched, and entered this body. He thought he hadn't noticed it, or had forgotten it long ago, but in fact he remembered it clearly——Xiao Chining's collarbone is straight, stretching the shoulder line. There is a small bulge, which looks capable and neat, and it is by no means as ferocious as it is now; in the past, when he lay down, his ribs were distinct, but not painful, his lower abdomen was straight, his waist and hips were firm, and his breathing was warm and vigorous , not shriveled and dying.

"That's why you want to die with her?"

Xiao Zhaoshan has never been stuck in a mood for a long time, and nothing can trap him. Therefore, although it is indeed shocking to witness the disappearance of a life, he does not think it is serious enough to sink himself into This kind of inhumanity.

Unless this life is nothing more than his own for him.

He took off the shower, rinsed off the foam on Xiao Chining's head, and asked, "You like her very much? Are you dating?"

Drops of water dripped from the tips of her hair, Xiao Chining raised his eyes to look at him, and after a while, he spoke the same words: "What did she tell you?"

"Want to know?" Xiao Zhaoshan turned off the shower, and stuffed the bath liquid into his hand, "Wash yourself, tidy up and come out."

Xiao Chining neither refused nor agreed, he squatted and waited for a while, seeing that he was still looking like he was dying, he got up and wanted to leave, and was going back to his room to change his clothes.

Xiao Chining took a few deep breaths, then suddenly stood up with a low growl, raised the bath liquid bottle and threw it on his head.

"You lied to me!"

Xiao Zhaoshan quickly turned around, blocked his powerless attack, and pushed his knees against the momentum, locking his legs against the cold wall.

"Why should I lie to you?" He met Xiao Chining's hateful gaze frankly, and sneered, "What good can I do by lying to you? Or can your little girlfriend be resurrected?"

Xiao Chining's lips trembled, and he pushed him away with all his strength: "You killed her!"

Taking advantage of Xiao Zhaoshan's unsteady center of gravity, he punched him unexpectedly, and the bone on the back of his hand just hit his jaw.

He raised his voice and asked loudly: "Why did you hang up on me...why did you let go?!"

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't expect that Xiao Chining, who was out of ammunition and food, could burst out with such strength. He was a little surprised for a while, and couldn't fight back in time.Xiao Chining seized the opportunity and kicked and kicked him indiscriminately, exhausting his remaining physical energy like a madman.

Xiao Zhaoshan didn't want to use force, he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him forcefully, whispering in his ear repeatedly to calm him down.

But Xiao Chining only wanted to vent his grief, and he could only move his mouth when he couldn't move his hands and legs.In the chaos, he bit Xiao Zhaoshan's shoulder, forcing him to fall backwards on the shower rack.

Xiao Zhaoshan's left back was stabbed hard by the faucet protruding from the shelf, and the sharp pain completely ignited the anger he tried to restrain.

He couldn't bear it anymore, and violently pushed Xiao Chining, who was about to bite, against the glass door, raised his hand and punched him back, hitting his cheekbones relentlessly.

"You figure it out! It was she who broke my hand, not I who let go of hers!"

Xiao Chining fell to the ground due to the inertial force, his eyes turned black, and he tried several times to get up but failed.

Xiao Zhaoshan straddled his leg with one foot, leaned down and grabbed the wet hair on the back of his head, forcing him to raise his head.

"Is it interesting?" He gasped, looked straight into Xiao Chining's expressionless eyes, and said through gritted teeth, "She is already dead, and her grandparents signed the body claim form in front of us that day, you Now even if she tortures herself to death, she will not come back to life."

"Xiao Chining, she is dead." Xiao Zhaoshan stared at him, "Remember, she is already dead."

Xiao Chining heard him repeating the fact that Hu Yingxue was dead over and over again, and gradually lost the strength to struggle.

He gave up.

He raised his chin, which was so thin that his bones could cut through the skin, and shed tears without warning. Like a child who accidentally dropped his beloved ice cream on the ground, he grinned and whimpered helplessly: "I was I could have saved her... I could have saved her..."

Xiao Zhaoshan was taken aback when he heard the words, and his two tears immediately extinguished the flames that were about to rise to the sky.

He subconsciously let go of his fingers and let Xiao Chining lie on his palm.

"If I had arrived earlier, even if it was only 2 minutes, she would not have died..."

Xiao Chining cried very ugly, and cried very real, no less than that girl's wailing before she died, Xiao Zhaoshan's heart was scalded and wrinkled by his tears.

Only then did he understand that Xiao Chining couldn't let go because he failed to arrive that day.

He squatted down, supported Xiao Chining's back and made him cry on his shoulders: "You saved her once, can you save her countless times?"

He was so infected that he recalled the scene on the roof that night again, and sighed: "She is determined to die, and no one can save her except herself."

Xiao Chining slanted and curled up in Xiao Zhaoshan's arms, folded his hands in front of his chest like self-protection, choked and said: "She is my only friend, I can save her, I can save her countless times."

Xiao Zhaoshan suddenly realized that the eyes on the sunken square were his looking at his "only friend". No wonder it was so soft and trusting, which made him mistook it for admiration.

His heart was stabbed more and more sour, and he couldn't tell whether he was sympathetic or sad for a while.

He had no choice but to pat Xiao Chining's protruding spine, coaxing softly: "There will be new friends in the future, just remember her all the time."

Xiao Chining shook his head on his shoulder, choked up and said, "No, no...I don't want others..."

Xiao Zhaoshan was amused by the sentence pattern that only three-year-olds would use. He didn't expect Xiao Chining to be so unreasonable because of his discomfort.

He turned his head to look at his face flushed from crying: "You still have decades to live, how could you not?"

Xiao Chining yelled angrily after suppressing the pain for nearly ten days: "No! No, no, no! No one will love me, you all only love yourself!"

Xiao Zhaoshan's ears hurt from his yelling, he ducked his head back, and echoed not very sincerely: "Okay, okay, no more, she is the best."

Xiao Chining finally didn't talk back, and continued to cry for 10 minutes.Xiao Zhaoshan's legs were also numb, so he changed his posture and sat on the ground, holding him silently and making him cry to his heart's content.

When he cried until his voice became hoarse, Xiao Chining suddenly left his embrace, rushed out of the shower room, lay down on the toilet and retched.

Xiao Zhaoshan could guess why he was throwing up, silently took off the bath towel and put it on his back, then went out to cook for him in his soaked clothes.

He usually doesn't cook, he only knows a few simple dishes, but he doesn't even have the ingredients to make simple dishes at home. He stayed in the kitchen for 10 minutes, and finally brought out a bowl of fried rice with only salt and a little soy sauce. egg noodles.

During these nine days, when Xiao Chining was hungry, he ate half a bag of soft biscuits that had been forgotten on the bedside before the National Day, and when he was thirsty, he put his head under the faucet of the washstand to get two sips of tap water. He lived like a beast lost in the city.

Now that a bowl of hot noodles was placed in front of him, he couldn't whet his appetite. He couldn't even taste the basic saltiness with his tongue, so he put down his chopsticks after taking a bite.

Wearing a set of dark blue pajamas, he looked at Xiao Zhaoshan across the table expressionlessly, with a heavy nasal voice: "I'm coming out, you keep your word."

Xiao Zhaoshan pushed a glass of light salt water to his side, leaned back in the chair, and replied, "She said she didn't want to go to jail."

Xiao Chining's eyes lit up a little: "And then?"

Xiao Zhaoshan knocked on the table: "You have played before, the old rules, you take a bite and I will tell you."

Xiao Chining frowned in dissatisfaction, and after a moment of consideration, he still picked up the chopsticks and ate some more.

Seeing that he was obedient, Xiao Zhaoshan kept the promise and told him the second sentence: "She doesn't want to go to jail because she doesn't want to die in prison, and she doesn't want to be forgotten."

After Xiao Chining listened, he took two mouthfuls consciously and motioned him to say more, but Xiao Zhaoshan didn't respond.

"I ate, you continue to talk!" He said eagerly.

Suddenly, Xiao Zhaoshan laughed suddenly: "Do you two have any secret base?"

Xiao Chining looked at him seriously, although it was not obvious, but Xiao Zhaoshan still read the doubt in his eyes.

The sourness that I don't know whether it's sympathy or pain appeared again.

He suppressed his smile, got up and walked to Xiao Chining, leaned on the table with his hands crossed, and asked seriously: "Why do you want me to hold a parent-teacher meeting for you? Why don't you ask your mother to go?"

Xiao Chining didn't look at him, nor did he answer, just sat there as if stumped by this question.

With the truth in sight, Xiao Zhaoshan forced him: "Answer me seriously, and I will tell you what she asked me to convey."

Xiao Chining kept staring at an unknown point in the sky, and did not react for a long time.

"That girl only told me, no one else could tell you." Xiao Zhaoshan said flatly, "I'll give you five seconds to consider whether you want to listen."

He counts down: "Five, four, three—"

Xiao Chining put down his chopsticks, but still didn't speak.

"two."

"one."

Xiao Zhaoshan finished counting five at a constant speed, and Xiao Chining didn't even blink his eyes.

Suddenly, he actually felt deeply disappointed.

He lowered his hands and stood up straight, intending to go back upstairs and change into a clean set of clothes.However, just as he turned around, a cool hand grabbed his wrist.

Xiao Zhaoshan stopped his movements and looked down.

He saw that hand relax, saw it slowly caressing the back of his hand and knuckles downwards, and saw five weak but strong fingers inserted into his fingers, not to hold back, but to share with him affectionately. Fingers clasped.

"Because I'm fighting for you." Xiao Chining replied.

Xiao Zhaoshan turned around and met his red and swollen eyes.

"She is too selfish to love me. But you are different from her, you are more sincere than her."

Xiao Chining tried his best to make himself laugh as freely as before, but he failed, and his smile was very stiff and pitiful.

"So I want you to stay away from her, only look at me, only love me, and only tell the truth to me." He tightened his fingertips and begged, "Dad, I only have you, look at me, look at me Just look at me."

In this way Xiao Zhaoshan got the truth in a violent tremor - it turned out that Xiao Chining's wound had never healed, and he needed himself so much.

It turned out that the sourness was neither sympathy nor sorrow, but that he was lured into the darkness and gained light at the same time.

He saw Xiao Chining's surging desire clearly, and he could no longer turn a blind eye to it. He felt a mission.

All love begins with not being able to bear it. He found that he did not know when he could not bear Xiao Chining's pain, could not bear Xiao Chining's crying, could not bear Xiao Chining's hatred, and could not bear Xiao Chining's death.

But Xiao Chining hasn't noticed it yet, even he himself is still vague.

Xiao Zhaoshan sighed in his heart, then squeezed Xiao Chining's hand, and quickly let go.

"It's the woods, she said she was in the woods."