【Double Black】As You Like It

Zhong Yuanzhong was also shocked by this answer, his scalp was numb, his lips were trembling, and he wanted to say something but couldn't say it.It's just that the hand holding his fingers is getting colder and colder, and it may be waiting for his answer, trembling silently.

Osamu Dazai was waiting for him, but Nakahara couldn't say anything, he heard it very clearly, and knew that Osamu Dazai would never make fun of him on such a matter, nor would he do anything at this juncture The moth came to tease him.Just listening to those words, he knew in his heart that all of this was true.

But he couldn't figure it out, really couldn't figure it out, why this happened.

If it was him, if it was 'he', if it was Chuya Nakahara, he would definitely not let Osamu Dazai die.

How could such a dauntingly strong selfishness allow this person to die?

That should be, even if you jump off a building, you have to jump down together to save people, even if you drown, you have to dive into the bottom of the sea to pull people out, even if you burn, you have to soak in the hot flames together, yelling at Osamu Dazai for being crazy. right.

How could this be?

"No...it shouldn't be."

"But that's the truth, Chuya."

"What about the 'me'?! Where's the 'me' over there?!"

He was asking almost hoarsely, wanting to know where that Zhongyuan Zhongye over there was, and what exactly was he doing?How can you let Osamu Dazai die?How can you allow the other party to die.

But Osamu Dazai just looked at him calmly, there was almost no emotion or storm in his eyes, but Nakahara was also very persistent, until the red lines that would climb up the skin began to spread when the filth was turned on.As a result of the last confrontation between the two people, the person holding him sighed and touched his skin to make the traces of dirt fade away.

"You are in my arms, Chuya, there is no way you can threaten me like this."

"I can choose not to."

"You know it, I know it too, you won't choose it." The wild cat with the collar smiled at him, showing its sharp teeth. "You and I both know that you will always choose one. There is no such thing as having both, because I have already jumped."

"I will catch you! Even if my arm is smashed, I will catch you! Osamu Dazai!!"

"But Chuya, you weren't there at that time." Osamu Dazai interrupted him, even speaking in a gloating tone, as if he was forcing him to make a choice. "When I danced, you weren't there."

Almost in an instant, Zhong Yuanzhong also thought of the general situation, so he was so angry that he couldn't help pinching the fingers that Dazai Osamu was holding with his ten fingers, which hurt him, and also made the other party cry out pain.The anger burned from his chest all the way up, to his throat, to the root of his tongue, he felt his eyeballs were burning hot, and his scalp was numb and murderous.

But Osamu Dazai was not affected at all, he faced his anger and killing intent directly, calmly like a pool of stagnant water, and nothing that was thrown into it could cause a slight ripple.

"You tricked me away?!"

"How can this be called a lie, Chuya, this is not a lie." The other party stretched out a hand to caress his face, and the drooping bangs fell on his forehead. "There is no way, I have no way. You said you hate me so much, what can I do? Even if I understand that what you said is almost duplicity, but I still want to hear you say, say You care about me, say you care about me. Even if you lie to me, but I know you never lie. "

Osamu Dazai whispered these words in his ear. The distance between them was close, but it seemed to be very far away, from the iceberg in the center of the Arctic Ocean to the top of the Antarctic continent, like a sky. At the corner of Yahai, like a carrion animal looking up at the tallest tree in the rainforest, even if you raise your head, you can't see the side, which is an unattainable distance.

"Obviously I have done what I want to do a long time ago, and I can give orders to you, and it should be what I say - obviously it should be like this. I have thought about it, I think Many things have improved, but why are you always so difficult, Chuya?"

He just listened to Osamu Dazai quietly, without interjecting or interrupting, both of them were seriously injured, and they couldn't even speak a word, but Osamu Dazai was still talking, It's just that the voice gradually became smaller and lower, and it gradually became a voice of breath.

"It's so difficult, there's no way around it. Although I have problems, we both have problems, right? Why didn't you tell me, Zhongya? If it wasn't until the end, maybe I wouldn't know about it at all, right? Why did you transfer you? Because it's unnecessary, I'm going to die, and you said you still put you by my side, wouldn't it hurt you? "

Although I don't know what happened after hearing this, Nakahara also understands that Osamu Dazai seems to have some mental problems. It's not that this person is really mentally ill, but that his current condition is very bad, maybe he is too heavy. The injury has made the person holding him start to lose his mind.

"You're not right."

"What's wrong."

"Tell you what? You never said, what do you want me to say? Why didn't you just ask? And what did you do to obey your words? Although the feeling is very weak, you should be on both sides It’s different. If that’s the case, there’s no need, since you chose to die, Dazai, why did you regret it later?”

He forced himself to calm down, not to be distracted by Osamu Dazai's stick, the topic of the two of them has been led to a certain direction, if he hadn't held his breath so that he wouldn't be swallowed by anger or eroded by pain, maybe he would Just say, I choose you.

"You don't have to do this, even if you die, I won't die with you—"

"I know, Chuya. I know everything." Osamu Dazai lowered his eyes pitifully like an unwanted animal, squatting in the corner of the heavy rain and soaked into a puddle of water. "I know it all, how could you be like this? Absolutely not, you won't have too many extreme behaviors because of me, maybe if I die, it will be like dying a subordinate and friend to you Pretty much. You won’t look for death or life, and you won’t feel that you don’t want to live, you’ll still live a good life, better than anyone else.” Having said this, Osamu Dazai took a deep breath, “So why, why It's so unfair."

He didn't know what the injustice was, but he could probably feel Osamu Dazai's feelings. This kind of silent and surging emotion seemed to overwhelm him, just like the overwhelming hurricane and tsunami , when the cover is down, all the defenses are sudden, and the flesh and blood will be smashed to the ground, and there will be nothing left, nothing left.

But he really didn't understand why Osamu Dazai wanted to die, but regretted it in the end.

In his impression, this person is like a plant growing against the light, and also like a beast growing alone. In the life of the port mafia, because he himself is in the dark, even if there is black mud overflowing from his mouth, there are so many people You can live well even if you submerge yourself.But cold-blooded animals can't really live in their own caves all the time. They need to hibernate to maintain temperature, and they also need sunlight to balance body temperature.After all, it is not a real dead person, nor is it a real corpse. No matter how cold the blood and skin are, they cannot be compared with the real ice.

The Osamu Dazai holding him, belonging to another world, is different from the one here, he can feel it, and he can feel it.

If the Osamu Dazai here is still wearing a skin, standing in the sun and occasionally basking in the sun, eating ice cream and strolling around the fireworks, then the Osamu Dazai behind him is just a corpse lying in the shadows .

Even though he pretended to be normal, the decadent aura was too obvious.He's known it from the beginning, and he's always known it.

In other words, as long as it is him, as long as it is 'he', as long as it is Zhongye of the Central Plains, they will definitely recognize it.

"You shouldn't do this, at least no matter what decision you want to make, I will guess it." Speaking of this, Zhong Yuanzhong also moved his back, and pressed it tightly against the opponent's chest. "For example, what do you want to do, what do you plan to do, even in the previous incident, everyone thought you were going to die, I also understand that you can't die, so I am willing to kill a dragon to prove this matter. Sakaguchi It’s ridiculous that Anwu still thinks I’m committing suicide, I’ve never felt that way, because I know you’re still alive. In this case, do you think it’s useful to use means to transfer me?”

"But I don't care if it's useful or not, or it doesn't matter anymore, Chuya. Because I've already jumped." Osamu Dazai told him in a cold tone, as if he was trying to induce a wavering person: "Although I haven't died yet, even though I haven't landed yet, it just stopped at the moment after I fell. I have already fallen, and when I restart, it must be a dead end. So, Chuya, it's too late, everything Too late."

Dazai looked at him and laughed.

"Chuya, why didn't you choose me?"

"Why did you commit suicide by jumping off the building?!"

"I'm fine, I'm better than all 'I', I'm better than all Dazai."

"What happened, is it necessary to die?!"

"I know exactly how to go on with you. I know it all. I have learned it. Would you like to see me?"

Zhongyuan Zhongye was furious, he even shouted out, go find your Zhongyuan Zhongye! !

After hearing his words, Osamu Dazai remained silent, as if he had pressed the pause button.But after a while, he suddenly picked up Nakahara Chuya's body and hugged him tightly. He was already in his arms, but it seemed that nothing was enough, and he pressed it firmly into his chest, as if To melt him into the body.

Zhong Yuanzhong also hurts, hugging him like this hurts so much, but when he finally raised his head and saw the man's crying expression, he still didn't say anything and let the other party hug him like this.

Their bones stick together, their skin sticks together, and even the blood that flows out is so mixed that you can't tell them apart, and their faces rubbing against each other make their hair knotted and tangled.Dazai Osamu whispered softly, it's not mine, not my Chuya Nakahara.

What should I do, Chuya, you can choose me, or you can choose me.

He stretched out his hands and pulled the other person's broken hair to reveal Dazai Osamu's face, he leaned over and asked softly, "What happened, why did it happen."

He lost his temper, and he couldn't get angry with Osamu Dazai anymore, so he could only speak in such a low voice, after all, neither of them had much strength.Osamu Dazai and him were chattering inconsequentially, probably because I couldn't die, I couldn't, there was no way, I had to die.But when he asked why, he never made it clear. It didn't seem like the kind of sudden death that happened on a whim when the sun was just right, but it seemed that he had to make a choice and die without negotiating.

Zhongyuan Zhong also couldn't understand how the brain of Yi Dazai would have irreversible consequences. The person he knew would have a solution after all, and it couldn't be a dead end, nor could it lead to an end.

He didn't dare to think about what would cause the consequences of having to die.

"It's not a dead end. It can be said that it should not be called a dead end just because I am dead. Chuya, you want to live, everyone wants to live. As long as the world is still alive, it is not a dead end." .”

After hearing this, Nakahara Nakahara directly pulled the other person's face and pulled it down. Even if he couldn't use his hands very hard, even if Dazai Osamu kept screaming for pain, he didn't let go.At first, it was considered to be suppressed, but now it is up again.

"You! You! Osamu Dazai! You won't do anything to make others sacrifice yourself?!"

Osamu Dazai blinked at him, "Isn't this what you've been doing? Why is Chuya angry?"

"Are you a fucking fool?!"

After yelling this round, Zhong Yuanzhong felt that the wound on his waist seemed to be split open, and the feeling of his internal organs being turned upside down was so painful that his brain was stunned, and he vomited out a mouthful of blood. The pain was still angry, but Osamu Dazai carefully hugged him and let him go.

"Don't be angry, don't drink."

"Do you know how to be mad at me?!"

"It's just this time, Chuya, it's really just this time."

"Why didn't you tell 'me'! Or consult with 'me'?!"

"There is no way to discuss this kind of thing. If you know, you will definitely not let me die, but there is no way I can't die. And even if I explain the cause and effect to you, I think you are so stubborn Wouldn't agree with me either. Isn't it the best ending to play with everyone and only one to die? Everyone is alive, and everyone has a home. Although I am sorry for you, after all, only you and Sister Hongye, but after all, I have not let you down."

Osamu Dazai buried his head in his arms and said, if you are still alive, I have not let you down.

He didn't know what was a disappointment and what was a failure, because as Chuya Nakahara, the death of Osamu Dazai was the biggest disappointment.For the first time in his life, he shed tears in front of Osamu Dazai. Tears mixed with blood flowed down his face. He grabbed the man's hair tightly and pushed him to the ground. They rolled together, if possible He even wanted to skin the person in front of him alive, but he knew he couldn't.

Osamu Dazai gently hugged him with his arms and said, do you know Chuya, you over there have never hugged me.

It seems that it should be very annoying, is it very annoying?

I hate that kind of condescending condescension, hate that kind of triumphant gesticulation, and even give serious orders with a bit of elusive gloating.

So it should be annoying, this is annoying to death.

I can't wait to die, I can't wait to be killed, I can't wait to disappear.

You should think so, right?

In fact, the scenery on both sides is the same, and there is no difference between Yokohama on both sides. The building of the port mafia is still so high, even if you jump down, it seems that it will take a long time before you really die.

Osamu Dazai lay next to Nakahara Chuya's ear and asked, Chuya, you choose me, okay, okay.I will be better than all 'I', I am much better than him, he has not improved at all, but I will not, I know it all, I have learned it all.

When he said this, he hugged him and shook him, and even raised his body to prevent him from maintaining the strenuous posture of supporting him on the ground, but Nakahara thought about it and said.

"No."

He said, no.

After saying this, Osamu Dazai felt stunned for a moment, unable to speak, but just staring at him fixedly.

"Do you just think he's better than me?"

"No, you can't say that." Nakahara interrupted the other party, "You shouldn't let me choose, Dazai, because you didn't let the other me make a choice, you didn't even ask him, Will I choose to let you die?"

Without flinching in his blue eyes, he looked straight into the other's face and said what he thought.

"You have never confirmed whether 'I' will really abandon you, and you have never believed that I who have been with you for so long will choose nothing but you. Besides, it is really good to stay here Well, you should be able to tell the difference between me and him, right?"

Osamu Dazai sneered, but he didn't say any ironic words, but pondered for a moment to answer his question.

"It's like you know that he and I are two people but both are Osamu Dazai, so there is no difference between the two of us in your eyes. So in turn, for me, the existence of Nakahara Chuya , and there is no so-called difference."

He heard Osamu Dazai say softly, you are all Chuya, you are all Yuanyuan, there is no difference.So, Chuya, choose me, okay?

He didn't know what happened to make Osamu Dazai so afraid to meet his self in a world, or to confirm whether he would choose the other party.But his answer is still the same.

"No, no."

Osamu Dazai didn't seem to be too surprised after hearing this. He knew him and he knew him, so he should know it. If it was Chuya Nakahara, there would be no second answer.

The person holding him sighed, and said that sure enough, it sure was something you would say.On the other hand, he took the initiative to reach out his hand to hold the opponent's hand, and clasped his knuckles between the opponent's fingers. It was the first time he actively interlocked with his fingers.

"You should trust me, Dazai." He thought for a while and said his choice, even though he was almost too weak to speak, he still forced himself not to close his eyes. "You should believe that I will save you, and you should also believe that even if I am transferred by you, I will know that it is your conspiracy. I will definitely go back to find you, and I will not let you die. No matter what you do You shouldn't die, even if it's to save other people, you shouldn't say that you are going to jump off the building lightly and skillfully. Besides, you are too stupid to live alone here, but leave 'me' over there Already."

He took a deep breath, there was really nothing he could do about Osamu Dazai, the hand he was holding seemed to be less cold, and he could feel the temperature rising.

"As for me—ah, although I don't want to say it, I shouldn't really hate you that much. I don't know how to describe it, but you should also know that if I want to talk about my wish, it probably means that I hope Dazai you don't always Do you want to die? Don’t say that you live up to me. You live up to me. Anyway... Anyway, I learned how to cook because of you. I said I would give you crab roe porridge, but suddenly I said I was going to die. ...Then, what about the crabs you just bought?"

Nakahara Nakaya stumbled over this passage, he wanted to soften his voice and talk to Osamu Dazai, but found that he didn't know what to do, the two were always arguing, and they always had such a bad attitude.But if it really came to this time, all he could think about was hoping that the other party would survive.

No matter what, please, survive.

This is my only base and ugly wish.

But before he finished speaking, Osamu Dazai lowered his head and cupped his face with the other hand and kissed him.

The sunlight came in from the broken window, hitting them like a faint layer of paint. He opened his eyes wide to see, and saw Osamu Dazai's smiling face and the other's beautiful eyes.

The temperature of the lips is warm and the texture is soft. When the tongue is inserted in, even the saliva it carries has a warm body temperature.He just watched in a daze as the man began to remove the bandage on his arm, and then took out a coin from it.

Zhong Yuanzhong didn't know what he was going to do, but Osamu Dazai put the coin in his hand almost in a hurry but hesitantly, his fingers were trembling, and even the words he said were like the words he said before. As he said, he stumbled and stuttered.

"Cough... Well, Chuya, if I take my sesame oil money, I can make a wish, right?"

Osamu Dazai lowered his head, but blinked his eyes and looked at him with questioning eyes. They looked at each other, and Nakahara seemed to know something and wanted to speak, but Osamu Dazai came to kiss him again and refused to allow him to speak. .

He glared, but it was useless.

"I don't care, you can't deny that you took my money. I was going to say it when I was 15 years old, but you didn't admit it. No way, you are a god and you made a wish like a believer, so the believer should pay back That's right."

There seemed to be footsteps around, there were a lot of people, and there was the sound of helicopter wings flapping in the sky.

"Chuya, please be sure to die for love with me in the future."

------

When Osamu Dazai opened his eyes, he was almost squinted by the wind, surrounded by the sound of howling wind, and felt like he was being pinched into balls of paper and thrown outside at random.He stretched out his hand to brush his hair, and laughed when he saw the rising floors of the Ganghei Building.

He always wonders.

Ah, sure enough, that's exactly what happened.

There is no distress of being rejected, only a grievance of being abandoned.It's hard to tell what this kind of grievance is, but if you say that he has no position or reason to be wronged, to put it bluntly, he asked for it.

He just thought, I should be dying soon, I should be dying.

The port mafia pushed Atsushi Nakajima, Kyoka Izumi, and Ryunosuke Akutagawa to the Armed Detective Agency, and even Sakunosuke Oda was still alive, working there and writing novels.Mori Ogai is not dead, and no one else is dead. Except for Nakahara Chuya, who is going to take his place as the leader, there is nothing left. It seems that he is the only one.

That's good, that's good.

Everyone will be fine when he dies, even if it will be very hard, Zhong will survive.No matter how much you hate him, no matter how much you want him to die.Because he is really going to die, it shouldn't matter what happens after he dies.

He quietly bought a cemetery, and after he ordered it, he posted it with Zhongye's. He also agreed that "Ode to Joy" must be played at the funeral. He should have died smiling and happily.

But I don't know why, why I am so unwilling.

He didn't say anything, and he didn't say anything to the other party.

Osamu Dazai pursed his lips, waiting for death, the crisp sound of his head hitting the ground, and the extreme pain when he fell to pieces.

But there seemed to be some sound coming from his ears, and he fell headfirst, but at this moment he opened his eyes wide and looked up.

He saw Nakahara Chuya in a dark blue suit jumping down from the top of the building, and shouting his name loudly, resounding through the sky.

"Dazai------!!!"

-END-

Small epilogue.

I started writing this story on June 6th, and I finished it today on August 14th, the day before Qixi Festival.

This article is about 33W words if you don’t count extra stories.I was actually a little surprised to have written so much in less than two months.

The name "As You Like It" didn't mean anything else at the beginning, but the collection of "Syrup Burst" was originally called "As You Like It", but it was changed later, and I think this title is very festive [not], so Just use it.

At first I swore to write HE, but in fact, the knife has always been in my mind.I also said that I don't have the habit of writing outlines, and even the original intention of writing this novel is just because I thought, "The girl Dazai Osamu called Nakaya, who was left by the other party, and Nakaya finally saw it. This big pig's hoof can't have any hope, so I don't like him anymore', in short, if you look at the first few chapters, you should be able to see that I want to write the tone of the knife, but the more I write, the more I write. Crooked, the more I write, the more I can't find the north... It ended up like this.

I was very happy for a few days in the middle, so the writing was sticky and sweet, and then I couldn't sleep clearly for a few days, and the pen tip was slightly unstoppable, and it was heading towards the direction of the knife.I actually want to say a lot about the two Osamu Dazai, but I don’t want to judge them from the perspective of God, so many details are actually contained in Chuya’s thoughts and words. I hope that I can write Chuya from’like ——Give up—I found out that I can't give up—the psychological changes of two people who will always pull each other like this. At the same time, if Osamu Dazai can also make progress.

The two of them are so twisted, it's really hard to tell if something doesn't happen.

Zhong also will definitely choose his own Dazai, not because the other one is unimportant, but simply, he believes that the self over there will never let Dazai die.

Because this is the only selfishness of the gods.

About what happened to Nakaya and Dazai of the IF line, but I shouldn’t say anything, after all, I wrote HE...【You all have to thank me that the day after I finished writing is the Tanabata Festival, look at the Tanabata Festival For the sake of it, I did not hurt the killer].But if you look at it this way, everyone is really happy, because Dazai and Zhongya on both sides are very good, they will untie their knots, they will accept each other, no matter what they are partners, they are the best in each other's life A special person is someone who will never be abandoned and abandon each other no matter what.

And although everyone was shouting abuse in the last few chapters, to be honest, I didn't intentionally abuse.The only article counted as specifically wanting a knife is "Sugar".

All the rest are the developments that I feel most comfortable, the most natural, and the most should happen in the process of writing. They should come to such an ending, they should have such a development, they should say such things, they should do something like this.

Although I think the knife ending is the best, but it is not impossible that everyone is happy, so I thought about it, anyway, there are so many words, and I have gone through so many things, let's be together well.

But the Dazai of the IF line is really too miserable, he didn't even get a kiss.

But you can eat it in Fanwai, so congratulations.

I am Tiantian, I am Lu Tiantian!

This is really happyEND!

But then I can finally use the sword unscrupulously hahahahahahahahahaha! !

hahahahahahahaha! ! ! ! !

Louis

2019. 8, 6