My Feelings Can Wait

Desperately, Ji Youyan held on to the armrest of the sofa, and slowly fell down.She stared stubbornly at the box Jing Xiu rejected at the door of the room, and looked at the water stains from the melting snowman in the box, just like the blood stains from her own heart.

She clasped her hands, clasped her fingers, and squeezed hard, trying to use the pain to regain a sense of being alive.

The door of the suite clicked open, and a thin long light leaked in.Yao Xiao yawned, closed the door, and walked lightly to the door of Jingxiu's room with the moonlight and the light from the street lamp.

Ji Yuyan quietly watched Yao Xiao walk to Jingxiu's door, squatted down, then picked up the box containing her broken heart, turned around and walked out.

"What are you doing?" Ji Youyan said suddenly and coldly.

Yao Xiao didn't notice that there was still a person sitting in the living room at all, and was startled by Ji Yuyan's sudden voice, "Ah", and danced and danced several times.

The posture is very funny, but Ji Yuyan can't laugh at all.She stood up, walked to the wall, and turned on a wall lamp.

When the dim light came on, Yao Xiao saw clearly that the person standing in front of him was Ji Youyan.She raised her head and let out a long breath, and complained in shock: "Mr. Ji, you scared me to death, why didn't you make a sound?"

Ji Youyan didn't intend to appease her.She stared straight at the box in Yao Xiao's hand, her throat was astringent, and she asked again in a hoarse voice: "What are you doing?"

"Teacher Jing asked me to come up and deal with this." Yao Xiao followed Ji Yuyan's gaze and looked at the snowman, and replied calmly.

Let's deal with it... Do you find it an eyesore even if you leave it on?The light in Ji Yuyan's eyes was completely extinguished.She lowered her head, no strength left to laugh at herself wryly.

After Yao Xiao finished answering, she realized that Ji Youyan looked weird?She tentatively asked, "Teacher Ji?"

Ji Yuyan looked up at her, sniffed, and showed a forced smile.

The slightly rippling eyes betrayed her fragility.

Yao Xiao was startled, realized that Ji Youyan might have misunderstood what she said, and hurriedly waved his hand and added: "Ah, Mr. Ji, don't get me wrong. Mr. Jing turned on the electric heater in the room, and the snowman might melt within a short time after taking it in. "

Ji Youyan blinked, dazed, as if he didn't react.

"Ms. Jing asked me to take it down, and ask the catering department if I can store it in their freezer first." Yao Xiao explained.

For a few seconds, Ji Youyan wondered if she was too sad, so she had auditory hallucinations?

But she ruthlessly pinched her fingertips with her nails...

It hurts! !

Ji Youyan suddenly opened her eyes wide, and heard that there were fireworks blooming in her heart, which made her both confused and happy.

She raised her hands high, ecstatic, and took two quick steps, as if she wanted to give Yao Xiao a big hug, but she restrained herself under Yao Xiao's teasing eyes.But no matter how much she tried to pretend to be calm, the curvature of the corners of her lips really couldn't be suppressed.

Yao Xiao couldn't help chuckling a few times seeing her clumsy and cute reaction as if she had survived a catastrophe.

"Mr. Ji, how about I discuss something with you?" Yao Xiao joked half-truthfully.

Ji Youyan looked at Jing Xiu's tightly closed door, his eyes were full of tenderness, and with a shy smile, he nodded.Let alone one thing, even if it is a hundred things now, she is willing to agree to Yao Xiao.

"Mr. Ji, how about sending some good ones to keep next time?"

How difficult it is to keep this snowman.She was taken out of bed by Teacher Jing in the cold, and now she has to go to the catering department to find someone to store the snowman in their freezer first.Then, the courier will go to work tomorrow, and she has to find time to send the snowman back by herself.The most important thing is that after such a toss, this snowman has been kept in the refrigerator, and it will be deformed after a long time.

People who fall in love have different brain circuits than ordinary people.Even Mr. Jing, who has always been calm and calm, is no different.Yao Xiao was both sad and funny.

Ji Youyan couldn't hear Yao Xiao's overtones.She laughed softly, and promised her in a good temper: "Okay."

Yao Xiao raised his glasses, pointed at the Snowman helplessly and said, "Okay, Teacher Ji, I'll go down first, otherwise it's time to melt."

Ji Yuyan nodded.

After Yao Xiao left, Ji Youyan stood in the living room for a long time, looking at Jingxiu's door with mixed feelings.After great sorrow and great joy, she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.

like a child.Ji Yoo laughed at himself.

She subconsciously took two steps towards Jing Xiu's room, closed her eyes, and stopped again.Ah Xiu pretended to be asleep, because she didn't want to face her tonight, even if she succeeded in the routine, she shouldn't be so happy to slap Ah Xiu in the face now, right?

Ji Youyan laughed, and turned back to the room considerately.

When she returned to the room, she was shivering from the low temperature in the room. She quickly closed the bay window and turned on the electric heater beside the bed.Then she went into the glass room, put water in the washbasin, and prepared to warm her hands.

The water was gushing into the washbasin, and Ji Youyan soaked his hands, which were almost unconscious from the cold, in the warm water that hadn't been released yet, watching the rippling water waves, and gradually lost his mind.

Yao Xiao made such a big noise just now, Ah Xiu, must have heard it in the room, right?

Mingming just pinched the snowman and tried to apologize for misunderstanding her in the afternoon, but in the evening, she fell into her own habitual thinking again, complaining about herself, and misunderstood Ah Xiu again.

Ah Xiu, what do you think of her?

Before eating, she and A Xiu went in with an umbrella. On the way, A Xiu's mood was obviously much calmer than in the afternoon and evening. Why did she suddenly feel bad after eating, and even pretended to be asleep and didn't want to see her ?

Something must have happened while eating...

Ji You said that he was blessed to the heart, and immediately lost the thought of warming his hands.She quickly turned off the faucet, before she had time to dry her hands, she sat back on the side of the bed, took her mobile phone, and clicked on Jing Xiu's wechat avatar.

She watched the cursor flickering in the input box, clenched her five fingers, and sent a message to Jing Xiu: "Ah Xiu, are you asleep?"

As expected, Jing Xiu didn't reply her after 2 minutes.

Ji Yuyan raised his hand and took a breath, took a deep breath, lowered his head and continued to send Jing Xiu a message: "Ah Xiu, I apologize to you about Ning Wei in the afternoon, I was self-righteous."

She plucked up the courage to send one after another as if talking to herself.

"Maybe Ning Wei's timidity and cowardice reminded me of myself, so I couldn't help but sympathize with her. But you are right, blindly indulging in your own emotions, and isolating those who care about you in your own emotions Besides, they are also selfish people."

"I used to have a lot of words, a lot of things, a lot of emotions, like Ning Wei, I couldn't say it. I don't know how to talk to you, I don't know how to explain to you, and I don't even want to let you know .”

"When Chi Dongqing mentioned Guo Wen at night, I don't know if you noticed. I was very nervous. Because I don't know. Back then, did you know that I once sold a song to Guo Wen. That is You ask me, the song you think is very similar. The one released by Guo Wen is the version I finalized."

Ji Youyan's throat started to feel astringent, and his breathing was heavy.It is not an easy task to cut yourself open for others to see.But she still insisted on it: "Do you remember? In the first year of my debut, I released two online singles. They are the works I am most satisfied with, but there is no splash. I am very disappointed, but I am not reconciled. Cao Tianchi didn't want me to sing anymore. He said that the Chinese market was in a downturn. He asked me to act first and gain fame before singing. I didn't want to. I thought I signed him for singing and not for acting. He laughed at me a few times. At this age, I still love to dream so much, I can’t recognize reality clearly, and my works are worthless.”

Those harsh words, for a long time, were the culprit of Ji Youyan's midnight insomnia - she fell into infinite self-doubt.

"One day, a music producer approached me. He said he admired my songs, but Cao Tianchi pushed all my collaborations and suspended all my work, so he could only come to me directly. I thought The opportunity came and I was looking forward to it, but after seeing my work, the music producer told me that the work was good, but it was wasted in my hands.”

"He wanted to buy a song from me on behalf of a very popular singer. He said that in the current market, whether a song is good or not is not only determined by the quality of the work itself, but more importantly, it depends on the song. Who wrote the song and who sang it."

"Fame and popularity are more valuable than talent. It is my people who ruined my song."

Ji Youyan was a little speechless.

She gritted her teeth and continued to type for Jing Xiu: "I was unwilling to sell at first, but later, another single I funded and produced disappeared after it was released. Cao Tianchi once again persuaded me to recognize the reality, and I became confused. Finally , I sold the song to Guo Wen, I really want to know whether it is my song that is not good, or this market, this reality is not good.”

Ji Yuyan choked up a little.She still couldn't say it, and still couldn't tell Jing Xiu frankly that that was only part of the reason for her selling songs.

She couldn't say it out loud. During that time, she had almost no job, no income, and little savings left, and her life was stretched.Making music requires money, equipment requires money, rent requires money, meals require money, transportation requires money, falling in love with Jing Xiu also requires money...

In love, there are comings and goings, and Jing Xiu has never been stingy with spending money on her, so how could she have the cheek to let Jing Xiu pay unilaterally?

But she ended up running out of money.

Jing Xiu fell ill during filming. She was worried about Jing Xiu and wanted to take care of her, but after she took out the money for the air ticket, she left the airport and didn't even have the money to take a taxi to Jing Xiu's set.

What can she say, Jing Xiu, I want to see you, but I have no money, so you have to buy me a plane ticket?Ji Yuyan's tears dripped uncontrollably on the screen of the mobile phone. She tried to wipe away the tears, but the tears became more and more.

"But I dare not tell you, I am afraid that you will think that I have no backbone, and that you will find that I am not as good as you imagined. I am afraid that you will be disappointed in me..."

"I told you that every song is my child, my pride, my dream, but I still sold it in the end."

"I sold my ideal. I dare not tell you." Every word seemed to be dug out of her heart, Ji Yuyan curled up her legs, sobbing and panting...

Across the living room, Jing Xiu was staring at the phone screen, biting her lower lip, her eyes were red.She raised her head and wanted to force back the tears, but there were still tears pouring out desperately, sliding down her cheeks...

How could she not know that Ji Youyan sold the song.For every song of hers, she rushes to be the first listener and give her the first applause.As long as she is by Ji Yuyan's side, even Ji Yuyan's unsatisfactory crumpled manuscripts, she will pick them out one by one from the trash can and flatten them out, and keep them preciously.

But Ji Yuyan didn't want to tell her, so how could she be willing to make things difficult for her?

There are too many things about her lover that she doesn't want her to know, she can guess, she can't guess.She always comforted herself that one day, Ji Yuyan would trust her enough, rely on her, and would voluntarily tell her everything about her.

But in the end, she just waited more and more disappointed.

Jing Xiu sucked her nose, holding back the sourness in her heart.She wiped away her tears, went to the glass room to wash her face, and then boiled water.

The water boiled, and she couldn't tell from her face that she had cried.

Jing Xiu finally replied to Ji Youyan: "Come here."

The author has something to say: Then, Teacher Ji fell asleep crying and did not see the news.

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