[Comprehensive] After I retired from the pirate world, I went on a blind date

There was Misaki's voice calling for dinner outside the door, I closed the chat interface of Potato Chips, yelled to Misaki that he would be here soon, and then clicked on the avatars of Night Wolf and Arrogant Scholar.

The two of them are downloading the book, and it seems that they haven't noticed that I'm online yet.I typed quickly and briefly explained the situation, and asked if they were free to come to Xijing for a dinner tomorrow afternoon.

Tomorrow is Sunday, and I seem to have heard that the two of them mentioned that they are good friends who know each other in reality and live near Xijing, which led me to the idea of ​​pulling them in.What if Potato Chips lied to me and brought Il fans?With two more people, even if you have no power to restrain a killer like Yiermi, it is better than nothing.He can still kill people in public, can't he?

The more I thought about it, the more I felt that my idea was reliable. I was afraid that Misaki would be in a hurry, so I temporarily put away the game interface and got up and went to the living room.

A plate of exquisite omelet rice was placed on the wooden dining table.The tender yellow egg perfectly wraps the rice inside, and the heat is just right. The egg skin looks soft and smooth, and there is a fragrance before it gets close.I glanced at Misaki with emotion, sat down and picked up my big spoon, raised my hand and just put it in the air, before I was interrupted anxiously by her.

"Wait, I haven't written yet!" Misaki reminded while hugging ketchup.

"...Writing?"

Misaki blushed, as if she just said something serious, she quickly shook her head like a rattle, "No, I mean let me squeeze some ketchup on it for decoration..."

"Okay, come on." I put down the spoon and leaned back to give her room to play. After a while, a few regular English letters appeared on the yellow egg skin.

thank you.

I glanced at Misaki, she twisted her neck to the side in a very dishonest manner, her lips were tightly closed and she did not speak.

Does it still have the attribute of being arrogant?

While admiring her cute appearance, I chewed and ate a whole plate of omelet rice in three to five minutes. After putting down the spoon, I still licked my lips, "It's delicious."

"Yes, is that so..." Misaki slightly raised the corners of her mouth, reached out to take away my clean plates, knives and forks, returned to the kitchen and brought over a cup of black tea, "Please use."

I didn't think there was anything wrong, so I picked up the teacup with peace of mind, drank two sips, and waited for her to help me take the teacup away before I realized something strange.

How did she turn into a maid who takes care of my daily life!Back then, she was only asked to come to clean the house...

I looked at Misaki who was wearing an apron and humming in the kitchen, and was washing dishes in the pool with pink plastic gloves on, and the first thought that popped up in my mind was to wonder which kid would be cheaper in the future.

"Misaki, come here." I sat alone on the dining table and meditated for a while, and waited for Misaki to finish washing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen before waving to her.

"What's the matter, Miss Yisha?"

"Hold it." I picked up the cash I had just prepared and stuffed it into her hand. I have troubled her so much, and it's time to increase my salary.

"But didn't you give it in advance last time?" Misaki was a little strange, and after looking at the thick stack of big bills in her hand, she immediately turned pale, as if she was holding some hot potato, and threw the money back involuntarily.

Me who was hit in the face by money: "..."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I was too shocked just now and accidentally..." Misaki hurriedly picked up the banknotes that fell on my head and shoulders and apologized.

I patted the ashes on my face expressionlessly, "You hurt quite a bit."

After hearing this, she felt even more sorry, and said with a wronged face: "It's all because of my personality..."

After all, she was only a 16-year-old junior high school student. Misaki's eyes turned red as she spoke, but she had a stubborn personality, and the tears rolled in her eyes several times, but they didn't fall.

I hurriedly stopped wanting to tease her again, and comforted her in a hurry: "Don't, I'm just joking with you. It's actually quite cool. I've been bombed by shells, shot by beams of light, and scalded by magma in my life." However, I have been frozen by ice, but I have not been hit by money! It is very touching..."

Not to mention, it really calmed her down, I saw her amber eyes were full of curiosity, and she looked very interested in my past, "Sister Yisha, is everything you said true? Have you ever experienced such a thing?" What a horrible thing, are you..."

Oops, are you going to fall off the horse?

I'm a little scared.Although I didn't deliberately hide it, Misaki has always admired me since the last time I had a heart-to-heart talk with her late at night. If she knows that I am a pirate, I wonder if she will be disappointed...

"Are you a professional hero?"

I:? ? ?

Misaki's eyes are full of determination and expectation, "In fact, I also yearned to be a hero when I was young, but being a hero is too dangerous. If something happens, no one can take care of my mother and younger sister... Sister Yisa What is your hero's name?"

What is it—there is no hero name at all!

I couldn't make up a name for a while, seeing her so excited and embarrassed to hit her, I had to bite the bullet and say, "It's called Hongsi..."

"Red Scythe? What a handsome hero name."

"That's what you say." I laughed dryly, fearing that we would be disillusioned if we continued talking, so I pointed to the big pendulum clock on the wall and said in surprise, "Ah, it's so late? Black go home."

"Eh? Is it okay? I want to say clean the windows again..."

"What are you wiping, I can't see clearly when it's dark, you just have to come back the day after tomorrow." I thought about it and changed my words, "The day after tomorrow, I have something to do tomorrow."

Misaki hesitated for a moment, then nodded: "Okay, I should indeed go home and cook for my mother and younger sister. Sister Yisa, if you don't need any help, I'll leave first."

I waved, "Go, be careful on the road. Do you want me to see you off?"

"No, you can take the tram at this time."

"Then goodbye."

"Good night." Misaki took off her apron and folded it carefully, put it in the backpack hanging on the hanger in the entrance, bowed to me before leaving.

I went back to my bedroom, called up the game interface, and found that the mailbox was already full of private messages from Night Wolf and the Arrogant Scholar.

Arrogant scholar: [Really?Brother Jin asked us to meet? ]

Night Wolf: [Wow, I'm not dreaming, am I?Okay, okay, I don't go to work tomorrow, where can we meet? ]

I'm very tired today, and I'm going to sleep in tomorrow. Considering that Mr. Potato Chips said that I will arrive in the afternoon, I set the time later.

Jin Guangshining: [Mr. Potato Chips is also coming, he will arrive in the afternoon by airship.Just in case, let's meet at eight for dinner. ]

Arrogant scholar: [Where is the location? ]

Shining Golden: [Just... Wagonaria, on Justice Street, it's a family restaurant with better taste. ]

Arrogant scholar: [I know that restaurant, okay. ]

Yelang: [Brother Jin is probably a lolicon, I remember that there was a petite waitress in that restaurant...]

Arrogant scholar: [You are the lolicon who knows this kind of thing! ]

Night Wolf: [Huh?No, I'm not a lolicon, I just happen to know it! ]

Jin Guangshining: [Loli...it's pretty good.But unfortunately, I like men. ]

There was silence on the other side for a while, I tilted my head and waited for a long time in a strange way before I received an embarrassing reply from the two of them.

The Arrogant Scholar: [Uh... Although it's a bit unexpected, I can understand it. ]

Night Wolf: [Brother, I didn't expect you to be such a brother.I suddenly feel a little afraid to come tomorrow...]

? ? ?The two obviously misunderstood something!Ah yes, they thought I was a man.

Jin Guangshining: [Hahaha, come on, it’s okay, as long as you don’t look good, you’re safe. ]

Arrogant scholar: [………]

Night Wolf: [...Then I'm afraid it's dangerous. [Scared.jpg]]

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when the door was knocked.I was lazily lying on the sofa, eating potato chips and watching dramas, when the Two-dimensional Potato Chips miraculously appeared.

I walked barefoot to the porch, thinking that behind the gate was my friend of three years, I was still a little nervous.

Do you want to beat the enemy, like Yiermi with black hair and a slender figure, or Qiya with silver hair and bright eyes?

I reached out and opened the door with trembling fingertips.

"Hi."

A small-eyed fat man who was wider than my door nodded towards me, and the fat piled up on both sides of his cheeks trembled twice following his movements.

"You're looking for the wrong person." I glanced at him calmly, closing the door without waiting for his response.

The man outside knocked on the door loudly, "Sister Yisha? It's me, potato chips!"

"What? Are you here to sell potato chips? I'm sorry, it seems that you really eat too much potato chips and your brain is damaged. I never eat potato chips!" I lied without changing my face and heartbeat , ignoring the crumbs of potato chips still in the fingernails, desperately resisting the door.

"Sister..." His helpless voice came from outside the door, and I quickly corrected him, "Don't call me sister, I'm not as fat as your younger brother."

I wondered how Yier fans took care of him!Is it true that all the thoughts of the author are only spent on Qiya?Isn't it uncomfortable for such a big meatball to walk around the house all day?

Oh yes, they split up.

so poor...

"Is my sister looking down on me?" He sounded a little sad, with a little bit of anger in his voice, "Obviously I and my elder brother are similar in appearance, why treat them so differently?"

I laughed angrily, opened the door and squinted and yelled, "Looks like an Il fan? Sorry, even if he is an ex-boyfriend who should be dead after breaking up, but you describe yourself so clearly Are you insulting my vision?"

I pointed at his chubby face, suppressed the discomfort in my stomach and observed carefully, trying to find a little bright spot in the pile of fat.

Unfortunately, it was not found.

Looking at his wide-slit eyes, garlic-like nose, and thin, dry lips that didn't match his face shape, I shook my head and sighed: "Where does it look like? How dare you tell me about your face in the game?" Lost... Where did you lose weight? JJ?"

His narrowed eyes widened slightly, he subconsciously covered his lower body, and said in horror: "Sister Yisha, you..."

I regretted it after I finished speaking, and covered my face with one hand not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Forget it, come in, no matter what, I have been your fake sister-in-law for two days, and I still have a bit of conscience." I opened the door with a tragic expression.

Ji Ji grieved and complained: "...you didn't see that you had a conscience when you insulted me just now. Also, what is your expression now? You almost have the word 'dislike' written on your face!"

Me: "Huh? What did you say?"

"It's nothing!" Yan Ji held the satchel on his shoulders tightly with both hands, and nimbly squeezed in sideways on his toes.He took off his shoes, and I subconsciously took a look, and found that compared to his huge body, the size of his feet was quite normal.

It's just fatter and wider.

Il fans still have pretty feet...

Too bad he's dead.

With an indifferent face, I retracted my wandering thoughts, walked to the sofa and sat down, and waved to Zhang Ji, "Sit down, take it easy, you will pay for it if it breaks."

"...Do you have to poke my heart with every word?" Yan Ji said angrily, and looked at me with resentment in his small eyes, but he didn't dare to say anything more.

After all, he knows that I'm a big pirate. I even shaved his elder brother's bangs. If he falls into my hands, can he feel better?

"Sister, where are we going to eat tonight? I'm hungry."

Xie Ji sat on the sofa opposite me for half an hour, during which I was slowly applying nail polish and didn't have time to pay attention to him. He watched a whole episode of dog blood love TV series with me before opening his mouth cautiously.

After painting the last finger, I put down the small bottle in my hand, looked up and gave him a hard look: "What do you want to eat? What time is it? Your family has dinner before five o'clock?"

"I can eat whenever I want at home...Isn't it because I came here in a hurry, I didn't prepare anything for the flying boat, and I only ate a box of potato chips to fill my stomach along the way."

"One box? My god, do you know how extravagant I am? I never ate a box at once when I was the overlord of the sea!"

Potato chips are a good thing, but ordinary people can't ship them by sea, and they can't get them even if they rob a transport ship.

Immediately, I felt even more displeased with him, raised my hand and threw a banana from the fruit plate, "Eat this, save some stomach, and go to the family restaurant at eight o'clock to order something else."

Luan Ji was picking bananas, he raised his head in shock when he heard my words, and screamed, "Eight o'clock? Why is it so late?"

I snorted coldly, "Who knew you came so early, I also made an appointment with Arrogant Scholar and Night Wolf, and we will meet at the family restaurant together."

"Uh, is that so? They're coming too?" Ji Ji frowned slightly, "Although I'm usually a keyboard warrior who always complains when things happen, but in fact, I'm afraid..."

"What are you afraid of? They won't eat you, at most they will complain about your figure."

Yan Ji: "...that's why I'm afraid!"

"Then lose weight." I took a bite of the apple, thought of a bad idea, looked him up and down, and grinned, "It's such a happy decision, enjoy tonight's dinner, and we will start exercising tomorrow."

Yan Ji's face turned pale, "Don't, don't you?"

"Why? Look at the fat on your stomach, are you ashamed to say that you are the brother of Ilmi and Qiya?"

A trace of inferiority flashed in his eyes, but he said stubbornly: "There's nothing to be ashamed of! I have such a good mind, they can't even envy them!"

I looked at him pitifully, "But you have such a good mind, but you have never had a girlfriend?"

"Parents are more concerned about other brothers, right?"

"You say you don't care, but you don't really think so deep down in your heart?"

Xun Ji was blushed by what I said, but he was powerless to refute.

I spread my hands, "That's right. This is a world that looks at faces. People who look better than you are controlling their diet. How can you be ashamed to stay at home all day and do nothing?"

"Don't you want to be recognized by your family? Don't you want to surpass Qiya, surpass Yier fans?"

"Bombs alone can kill people, but they will never be able to defeat them..."

Seeing that everything was guessed by me, a smirk curled up on the corner of my mouth, and I said earnestly: "Among the people I know, there are many fat people who have successfully lost weight and are now hugging each other. Why can't you? That's it, after dinner tonight, we will enter the devil training together. I just have a month to spare, and after a month, I promise you will be thin and handsome!"

Yan Ji was a little moved: "This... can it be done?" He gave me a wary look, "What is the price? I am very poor now..."

I stood up and walked over to him and slapped him hard on the forehead. With oil on my hands, I pulled a napkin to wipe my palms in distaste, "It's really useless. Don't worry, your elder brother has already paid the money."

"Brother?" He was startled, unable to believe it, "Brother... paid for me?"

I thought about the 2 million I earned from selling the diamond ring, and nodded, "Well."

No wonder.In fact, it was just waiting for Dino to be bored. Anyway, if you have nothing to do, you might as well give him a surprise when the time comes to exercise and lose weight.I have also relaxed a lot in the past three years, and the muscles that were once strong are almost loose, which is not acceptable.

Since you want to lose weight, how lonely a person is.Pull him together, and watch his fat appearance as a negative teaching material, so as to urge myself not to eat blindly, so as not to end up in the end.

Yan Ji was very moved, raised his thick forearm, wiped his eyes with short and fat fingers, choked up and said: "I didn't know that big brother cared about me so much, I thought he only liked Qi Ya... ...Don't worry, I will definitely not let you down!"

I was relieved: "That's right!"

The author has something to say:

Rolling around for comments, the last chapter was so cold, you guys are so realistic, you all dive without a handsome guy on stage....

Is it so condescending to be ridiculous! ? ? ?