shadow lover

During the five-day Hong Kong tour, except for a very small amount of time, most of the time was spent in shopping malls and night markets. Sen Miao should be regarded as a sensible type in terms of consumption. She bought it for her aunt a few days ago. I bought a pair of leather shoes for my uncle with a leather bag.Today is the last day of the trip, and her colleagues estimated that they spent a lot in the past few days, so today everyone walked around to see that only a few people were still buying and continuing to buy.

I followed Sen Miao to walk around with her. When she walked into a jewelry store, Sen Miao fell in love with a camphor wood bracelet in the store. The clerk said that the wood in their house was polished three times. I asked Senmiao if she liked it, and I bought it. She carefully looked at the things in her hand and said casually: "I'll buy it myself." Seeing her loving it, I knew she must like this bead string very much. The clerk bought the bracelet after paying back the price.

When she was free at night and had dinner on her own, several of Senmiao’s colleagues said they wanted to go to the revolving restaurant for dinner and asked her if they wanted to join them. We sat in a high-end western restaurant at seven o’clock in the evening.A group of six of us sat down at a long dining table. I watched Sen Miao finish the glass of red wine. After I put the cut steak next to her wine glass, she turned her head slightly to look at me.

"Let's eat something. You'll get drunk if you drink too much, and it's not good for your stomach. Didn't you say you should take care of your body? Why don't you know how to take care of yourself?"

"You smoke, how could you control yourself not to smoke at the beginning."

"Sen Miao"

"Heh... Seeing that he is honest, well-behaved and sensible, and actually proficient in flattery, tact and flexible ways of dealing with people, what does he look like?"

Sen Miao smiled vaguely and shook the red liquid in his hand. I listened and looked down at the cut steak without responding. Yes, how could a small person like me have the character of Sister Ke? How could it be possible if they were not the same person?Sen Miao drank a lot of wine alone that night, and there was a dark area hidden in everyone's heart. When Sen Miao drank too much, I asked her colleagues to help me go to the front desk to check out. When I came out, several other people smiled and said so It's not good for you to treat you to dinner. When we go back, we will treat you to dinner, and I will take Sen Miao from them when I politely say goodbye.

"Feng, Xiaofeng, Xiaofeng." That was the first time Sen Miao mentioned Ke Feng openly in front of my face. She leaned on my shoulder and called another person's name. I still hugged her and never let go.When I got back to the hotel, I put the drunk person on the bed, watched her cry, smiled and cried, my heart was tightly held together, I got up and went to the balcony to light a cigarette, one or two, and smoke slowly in the dark night.

On the return flight the next day, Sen Miao kept frowning. After returning home, Sen Miao went back to the room and lay down without packing the suitcase. She dragged the suitcase into the room and squatted down to start tidying up. She was just about to pick up the clothes and throw them into the The washing machine went to wash Sen Miao's ethereal voice, she said: "I will pack my things myself, you can do your own." The subtext of this sentence is similar to that of me not letting you care.

I stood there and looked at the clothes in my arms with a little embarrassment, then bent down to put them back in the box and put them away. After returning from this trip, Sen Miao’s mood was not stable. Will try to suppress herself as before, now she starts to find fault and lose her temper.She seems to consciously want to distance herself from me, but when her mood is stable, I feel that there is more emotion in her eyes than before. I don't know what that thing is, but I just feel that she needs me at least to be with her. You need me when you are in trouble.

My mother finished her treatment in the mental hospital. On the day she was discharged from the hospital, Mo Han came to pick me up and my mother to the nursing home. After I helped my mother into the car, Mo Han looked back at my face and asked, "You haven't slept for a few days."

"Ah, no."

"Looking at your state, you haven't closed your eyes for at least three days."

"No, let's drive."

"Auntie will be settled in a while, let's go out to have a barbecue"

"Well, okay."

After I sent my mother to the nursing home to settle down, I left with Mo Han. I propped my head on one hand in the car, and stayed silent all the way until I got close to the barbecue restaurant.

"Do you have something on your mind? I'll analyze it for you."

"It's okay, let's eat."

I'm not in the mood to eat. Just yesterday, Sen Miao took me to Mr. Mu's place. She put the bracelet on Sister Ke's hand in front of me. It stands to reason that it's nothing but when Sister Ke asked if she gave it to me. When buying a gift, she said she bought it, and when I bought a ring, my heart suddenly twitched.

Sister Ke asked me how I went on a trip. I said yes. She said, why don’t you have the ring that Dai Senmiao bought? The facial expression was really stiff, no wonder Sister Ke noticed my deliberation. Before we left, Sister Ke stopped Sen Miao and said a few words to her. After I followed her home, she lost her face and lost her temper.A person should have all kinds of emotions and six desires instead of being numb like a wooden man. I think it is a good thing that Senmiao gradually reacted and began to have emotions, but when she slammed the door and the room became quiet, I just felt exhausted physically and mentally. It turns out that loving you is not an easy task, and it turns out that the road to chasing love is not as simple as imagined.

"Before my mother went crazy, she was emotionally unstable for a while. When she was in a stable mood, she would ask me if I was bullied by classmates in school. When her mood fluctuated greatly, she would scold me non-stop. I remember it should be in the second year of junior high school. I said back that your biological daughter might have died a long time ago. If you think I hate you, you should stab me to death. Since then, every time my mother talks about me , I will use the same vicious words to push back, until the day she goes crazy."

"Mo Han, you may not understand how I feel when my mother treats me as An An, and I also know how cruel it is to fight back with a person who is like life to the other party. I think maybe I could bear it more when I was young. Take it easy to talk back to mom, will she still be a normal person now?"

I regret the special regret, but I couldn't help it back then. I didn't realize my stupidity until after my mother went crazy. The end of the momentary remorse is eternal regret.My mother’s embrace is soft and soft, and her smile is bright and reserved. Because the warmth is short, I choose to see the cold darkness. If I don’t strive to be myself and get rid of Anyang’s shadow, I think I will pass now A little more at ease, at least not so heavy psychological pressure.

I sat across from Mo Han and spoke slowly, and Mo Han was also silently listening to me talking about my past. After I finished speaking, I raised my head and laughed at myself. Slowly flow down.I haven't cried in many years, many, many years, but after 20 years I'm a little loose under the strong psychological pressure.

I raised my hand to wipe away my tears, took a deep breath, picked up chopsticks and added a piece of potato slices to myself. Life will not stop because of anyone, nor will it be because of anyone’s sad experience And being tampered with, it will not be subverted and restarted because you can't afford it.

After a few simple bites, Mo Han sent me to Sen Miao's place, pushed the door out of the car and walked in with her hands in her pockets and head down, Mo Han stopped me after I walked a few steps, turned her head and walked up to her Hugging me, she said, "An'an, don't cry."

Mo Han, your eyes are also blinding your heart, you can't hold back, right?

Under the clear sky, the sun shone down and dazzled the eyes that were already sore, and a long black reflection was reflected on the ground. The book said that if you can keep up with the other person's shadow, it proves that the distance between you is not far away.It's a pity that I can't step on your shadow, Sen Miao, because I am not in your heart from the beginning to the end.