When a superhero becomes a stickman

The Winter Soldier James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes walked into the 24-hour convenience store with a bright red slap on his left cheek and an expression of disbelief.

It took a long time for the wolf-like sharp eyes to come back to his senses. He stared at the clerk in front of him with a dark look, and said stiffly in a man-eating tone: "I want a girl who doesn't want to use it every month." But there are always things that have to be used for a few days, buy a pack."

After reciting the other party's original words, Barnes pulled the other party's collar, gritted his teeth and asked, "Is there any?"

The convenience store clerk was taken aback by him, stammered, and said, "Yes, yes, yes, but I'm not sure whether you want condom lubricant or sanitary napkins and tampons?"

How did Barnes know what these things were.

His mind was like a mess, and no matter what he tried to pull out, it was a puddle of mud.

So, even though he didn't understand what these things were, he still just stared at the person in front of him, gritted his teeth and said, "Everything."

------

Meanwhile, locked in the house, Adele is busy with her life.

Pen, as long as she has a pen, she can draw the door back to New York.

However, after searching all over the place, there is not even a single pen that can draw.

Adele rummaged through the cabinets, including the remaining blood-stained clothes, and even lifted the bed sheets with reddish-brown marks. In short, she rummaged through the basement room, but still couldn't find anything.

While desperately turning the room, Adele asked the two arguing lips in her pocket: "Wade, when can you shut up?"

Wade: "After the world is destroyed?"

Adele rolled her eyes and asked Jarvis again: "Jarvis, have you contacted Tony? Have you told them our location?"

Jarvis's gentle voice then sounded: "I have told the general location of the sir, but due to the serious division within the Avengers Alliance, it is not yet possible to send troops to rescue."

Adele said: "Then you tell him that Barnes is very good and gentle to me, don't worry, don't worry."

In this room full of traces of blood splatter, suddenly a cold voice sounded: "Who don't worry, don't worry?"

Adele froze, turned her head, and saw Barnes' profile hidden in the dark entrance, only the metal arm glowed faintly with a cold light.

I can't see his face clearly, but I also want to get his eyes.

Very good and gentle egg!

Adele froze for a moment, she didn't know how much Barnes had heard.

Adele tries to save the scene: 'I'm talking to myself...'

Barnes came out of the shadows, looked at her indifferently, and grabbed her hand that was going through the closet: "What are you looking for?"

Adele: "Find something you can wear."

She admires her own ability to lie.

Barnes glanced at the closet, didn't say much, dumped all the things in his arms on the bed, and sat down on the chair next to him: "What you want."

Adele: "..."

She just wanted pads or tampons.

however……

She took a general look at the things.

Well, lipstick, condoms, lube, hair dye, and life-saving special period essentials.

... How many things did the clerk sell to her?

Adele took only the pack of tampons from the mess, and timidly returned it: "I'll just use this."

What condom lube is just horrible.

Barnes nodded, turned around and left without even bothering to talk to her.

Adele watched his leaving back, suspecting that he didn't understand what this thing was for.

After Adele packed and washed everything, she finally got under the quilt.

After being knocked out and thrown into a damp warehouse to sleep all day, Adele suddenly missed her huge and soft bed on the nineteenth floor of a New York building.

Although this bed was not bad, soft and warm, but after all, it was a place where people died, and she was a little afraid.

In order to reduce the scary atmosphere here, she also specially changed the bed with clean sheets, and then pretended that she couldn't see the hard blood stains on the quilt and got in.

After lying with her eyes closed for a while, she suddenly asked, "Wade?"

Wade, who was talking non-stop, shut his mouth, paused, and asked, "You finally realize that I exist?"

Adele shrank back under the quilt: "No, it's just that I set you in a permanent silent mode in my head, and it was turned on just now."

Wade, who can always have something to say: "..."

Adele added: "Jarvis is a program, no matter how much life you talk to him, he just saves the nonsense you said in the file of 'Stupid Wilson', and it is still in audio mode, so you Don't waste your energy."

Wade: "...you just saved what I said to you in a file? I thought we were good brothers!"

Jarvis replied gently: "I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson, I searched the word 'good brother' just now, and found that you don't meet this requirement in every sense. I'm very sorry for that."

Wade: "..."

Adele pulled out the pillow and covered her face: "So I can have a good sleep! I'm going to jump off a building tomorrow with a gun pointed at my head by a lunatic!"

Wade: "Okay, good night, little girl."

After being quiet for a while, Wade still said unwillingly: "You think I am not qualified? Don't you realize that among all the people who regard you as a program, I am the only one who regards you as a living person person?"

Jarvis: "Although I am a relatively advanced program, I think it is more effective to pretend to be a relatively low-level program at this time: Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

Wade was angry: "Nonsense, of course I need you to chat with me!"

Jarvis's voice was as gentle as ever: "Is there anything I can do for you, sir?"

Wade: "..."

Well, he got it, go to bed.

Adele couldn't sleep well in the middle of the night, got up from the bed, and went outside timidly. She wanted to see what Barnes looked like when he fell asleep.

She poked her head out of the room and found that Barnes was sitting on the sofa, sinking her body into the soft sofa, with the mechanical arm on her lap, sitting motionless.

Some icy moonlight leaked from the lid above his head, shining on his luminous metal arms.

Adele was about to go to the bathroom, when she suddenly found that Barnes, who was sitting on the sofa, had opened his eyes at some point and was staring at her with those terrifying eyes: "Are you awake?"

Adele nodded, then shook her head immediately.

Barnes seemed to be sure that she would not do anything out of the ordinary, so he withdrew his gaze and continued to sit on the sofa with his eyes closed.

The cold moonlight shone on him, as if it had coated him with a layer of silver, which made people feel chills when they saw it.

After standing at the door for a while, Adele walked softly to Barnes, trying to get back the "Guide to Raising Fierce Beasts" to read it carefully and learn how to get along with Barnes.

She walked over cautiously, thinking that Barnes must have known she was coming, but as long as the sound of her footsteps conveyed to him that she was not malicious, maybe he wouldn't be angry?

Adele rubbed against him step by step, reaching out her hand carefully, trying to grab the book.

…Well, half of the book was sat on Barnes' ass, and it didn't take a second to know he did it on purpose.

Barnes seems to be quite dissatisfied with the book...?

Adele reached for the book, trying to remove it inch by inch.

At this time, Barnes opened his eyes suddenly with his eyes closed, stretched out his hand and grabbed Adele's wrist, almost crushing her wrist bone.

Adele almost cried in pain.

As for Barnes, seeing Adele's face about to cry, he found it very strange. He obviously used the lightest force to grab the girl's hand. How could she act like he was abusing her?

Girls are a strange thing.

Barnes grabbed her wrist, snatched the book from her hand, opened the dusty book, browsed through it, and made sure that there was nothing in it that could be used to hurt others, and then put the The book fell back into Adele's arms: "I have to get up early tomorrow, so I'm not allowed to read it today."

Adele: "...ah, don't look at it."

Barnes ordered curtly, "Sleep."

Adele ran back to the house in a hurry.

Barnes frowned as he watched her running away in a hurry.

Girls are such a strange thing.

He talked to her so gently, why did she still look like she was almost scared to death?

Forget it, don't think about it.Barnes cleared his head of thoughts and continued to close his eyes, resting in vigilance.

Adele was frightened by his terrifying eyes, hugged the book tightly and ran back to the room quickly, and quickly shrank into the quilt.

call.

That look was like a knife, it cut her cheek sorely.

Adele hid under the quilt, poked her head out again to see if Barnes had come to see if she was sleeping well, and then hid under the quilt again, squinting through the light that leaked through the quilt. His eyes struggled to make out the small, blurry words on it.

table of Contents.

Number one, don't infringe upon the domain of wild animals.

Adele thought, she's already done this.

The second is to tap the boundary of one's own territory, indicating that this belongs to one's own territory, and let the beast get used to the territory that does not belong to it.

Adele couldn't take it anymore when she saw this, she threw herself under the quilt and fell asleep.

The next day.

early morning.

Barnes thought to himself that it takes time and skill to get along with a female creature, so he also planned to try to coexist peacefully with Adele during this period.In the morning, he came to the 24-hour convenience store again, looked at the drowsy clerk who was on duty in front of him, and asked in a cold voice with glass shards, "What do girls eat for morning?"

It's as if girls are an unknown creature, and they need to figure out their food domain first.

The clerk was hurt by the sharp voice like glass shards, so he quickly got up, and after regaining consciousness a little bit, he smiled and said, "Buy breakfast for my girlfriend."

Barnes' voice was low and murderous: "Not a girlfriend."

The clerk was obviously taken aback by him every time, and after being dumbfounded for a long time, he tentatively asked, "Is that my sister?"

The expression on Barnes' face became more impatient: "No. What do female creatures between the ages of nineteen and twenty like to eat?"

Shop clerk: "..."

female creature?

... What a wonderful thing.

Can you find a girl with this kind of weirdness?

Yes, he is handsome.

The clerk then tentatively asked with euphemistic words: "Is that the kind of special relationship that only has the opportunity to meet for a few days every year and cannot be known to outsiders just because of some special relationship?"

To put it bluntly, buddy with benefits.

Barnes tilted his head and thought about it. He grabbed Adele on the premise that his arm was broken and needed a new one, that is, he would not need Adele if he had a new arm.

It is indeed such an unknown special relationship.The robber thought solemnly.

So he said, "Yes."

The clerk almost fainted.

God!This kind of weirdness can find friends with benefits!Still such a young girl!

The clerk, who is single and works the night shift, clutched his chest in pain.

The eyes of girls nowadays are getting worse and worse.

So, he pointed to the dessert stand: "Sell some small cakes or donuts, girls like it."

Barnes came to the dessert stand, completely puzzled why female creatures like such ugly and soft things.

So, he directly took the ugliest one and put it in front of the clerk to check out.

The clerk looked down and saw the little pink heart, this strange flower is quite childlike.

At this time, he heard the deep voice that was piercing like glass shards again: "If a female creature is frightened, how can I bring her back to a normal state of mind?"

While looking for money, the clerk said casually: "It's fine to touch her head, just like treating a small animal. It's good to have love. If it doesn't work, you can treat her the way you treat a small animal."

Barnes imagined the critters he encountered in the Hydra prison—rats.

A gray and black rat that emits a foul smell and bites.

He connected Adele with the mouse, and found that they seemed to be of the same race, but of different breeds.

Adele puffed her cheeks when she gnawed, like a little hamster, not the same as the black rat in the sewer.

Barnes took the change and donuts and said in a husky voice, "You mean, break her neck?"

At least that's what he did to the rats that came out of the sewer, except sometimes when he was in a bad mood and smashed into a pulp with his fist.

The clerk's eyes widened, his mouth opened, and he watched Barnes lower the brim of his hat and walk out.

...What kind of weirdness is this!

Barnes walked to the door, turned his head to the clerk and said, "But I can't break her neck yet, but if you say it like this, I think she is quite cute."

It looks much better than a mouse, but there are a lot of farts.

The clerk opened his mouth in shock: "Then... I hope you can find another girl willing to sleep with you in the future."

It's a pity that before he finished his sentence, Barnes had already walked out, otherwise his head would not have been properly growing on his neck.

So, the clerk who had no customers began to sit down, put his hands on his freckled face, and began to reflect——

Why doesn't he have a girlfriend?

----

After Barnes returned to the closed basement, he found that Adele was not only awake, but also holding a very long stick in her hand, looking at him seriously.

Barnes ignored her.

Want to use such a thin stick as a weapon to escape?

Not self-sufficient.

However, what he didn't expect was that Adele didn't seem to intend to hit him with this stick?

So, holding a donut, he watched Adele bounce back to the house, and carefully knocked on the door of his house three times.

Dangdang.

After knocking, I looked at him with my head, with a curious look on my face.

Barnes: "..."

Unidentified creatures like women are really hard to understand.

As for Adele, she flipped through the beast breeding guide very seriously, and continued to divide her own territory. After tilting her head and looking at Barnes for a long time, she continued to use the long stick to stand at the door of the house. Knock knocked.

Dangdang.

Barnes: "..."

never mind.As long as she doesn't starve to death, it's fine.

So, holding the crushed donut in his hand, he threw it into Adele's arms: "Eat."

Adele flipped through the book, looked at the "Feed and Feed" column on it, and suddenly said, "Would you like to eat together?"

Barnes was obviously surprised that she was willing to eat with him. He thought that the ugly bread he bought had a soothing effect, so he felt a little happier and walked back.

However, Adele still looked at him nervously, holding the stick in her arms, and continued to knock on the door.

Dangdang.

Barnes: "..."

Didn't that idiot clerk say that when such creatures are frightened, they should be patted on the head to comfort them?

Barnes frowned and stared at the small girl in front of him, thinking that he would have to resist the desire to wring her head off, and just pat her head to comfort her.

Well, let's hope it doesn't scare her this time.If it can be appeased successfully, it will save a lot of trouble in the future.

For example, it is better not to do stupid things like knocking on the door with a stick in the future.

Touching the head to appease should be as gentle as possible, um.

So, Adele, standing in front of Barnes, watched him stretch out that terrifying mechanical arm, and after hitting her hard three times on the head, he withdrew his hand and looked at her with hope. Looking at her: "Aren't you afraid this time?"

bang.bang.bang.

When I was a kid, hitting my head with a basketball never hurt that much.

Adele resisted the sharp pain from the top of her head, and finally couldn't hold it back. She hugged the stick and the book in her arms tightly, and cried out in despair.

The author has something to say: Well, well, I really convinced you. [Live and live]

What silly joy and silly nine are really... [Fall! 】

It's called Jiuye, unified, it's called Jiuye! !

Come on, kids, take your Jiuye column away, and Jiuye will take you to make a fuss in heaven.