special stargazing

The dormitory was pitch black.

Gu Qunshan stood under the bed in a daze, his fingers tightly pressed against the seams of his trousers, while Sheng Yexing and Lu Jianxing were both on the bed with the curtains drawn.

There was no sound in the whole space.

Sheng Yexing didn't know what words to use to describe his mood for a while, he just felt as if his neck was strangled to death by someone, everything became extremely difficult.After Zhanfei, Gu Qunshan's sudden attack caught him off guard.

Lu Jianxing's collar and hair were messy, but his breathing was not disturbed.

Gu Qunshan was breathing heavily, "..."

"Why don't you leave?" Sheng Yexing stretched out his arms and pulled back the opened bed curtain.

"..." Gu Qunshan remained silent.

"Qunshan," Sheng Yexing narrowed his eyes, "answer me slowly."

It is impossible to say that you are not afraid of being found out, but that day will come.

Gu Qunshan closed the door and didn't go out. He just wanted to know what would happen in this room next, and wondered if things were as he imagined?

"I, I came in a long time ago." Gu Qunshan's voice was still trembling.

His back felt hot and cold, and his limbs were so stiff that it was difficult to move.For a while, I didn't know what to say and what not to say.

Sheng Yexing let out an "oh" and said, "I locked the door."

"Dingxi said, say," Gu Qunshan choked, "Turn the outer lock twice, lift the armrest up once, and the lock will be unlocked."

"..."

"Nightwalk, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sheng Yexing said calmly, "Go back and rest early."

"Ah, oh, good!"

Speech flustered, Gu Qunshan has not been able to calm down.He frantically went to break the handle of the dormitory door, and escaped as if fleeing.

too messy.

too exaggerated.

Before going out, he stopped and looked back.

The "eternal light" in the corridor is still on, illuminating the painted walls of the corridor transparently.

Bright white light pierced the darkness of the room like a sword.

He could see that Sheng Yexing had pushed aside the bed curtain and was sitting on the upper bunk.Sheng Yexing was surrounded by bulging bedding, and it was obvious that someone was lying there.

Seeing Gu Qunshan stop, Sheng Yexing also raised his eyebrows and looked at him, mouthing in a low voice: "Go."

With a "bang", Gu Qunshan closed the dormitory door.

That night, Sheng Yexing took out his mobile phone and played a piece of guitar fingerstyle music, and accompanied Lu Jianxing to lie down and sleep.

At around one o'clock in the morning, Lu Jianxing breathed calmly and quietly fell asleep, while Sheng Yexing tossed and turned, having trouble falling asleep.

Li Dingxi came back the next afternoon.

He was carrying the doctor's order, his complexion was slightly pale, and he looked exactly like two people from the lively appearance he used to be.

Once back in the dormitory, Sheng Yexing first took a look at Li Dingxi's list, then put the list on the table, and patted him on the shoulder.

Suddenly it seemed like I couldn't say anything.

If you want to go to the hospital in the early days, you must have your own ideas.Whether it is fear of affecting his family or worrying his friends, Sheng Yexing believes that Li Dingxi can make the right decision by himself.

When Li Dingxi came back, he brought three tiramisu cakes, and the three teenagers spread paper shells on the floor and ate them together.

Lu Jianxing's addiction to instant noodles is over, and he has been addicted to sweets recently, so he ate without saying a word, just licking the tip of his tongue repeatedly with a spoon.

Seeing that he was eating happily, Li Dingxi also lowered his head and smiled, picked up the untouched little cherry on his cake, and put it on Lu Jianxing's plate.

Lu Jianxing flexed his fingers and smacked the floor three times.

Li Dingxi said loudly: "You're welcome!"

Lu Jianxing also said loudly, "It's okay!"

"It's okay, it's not used like this," Sheng Yexing said, and then said to Li Dingxi: "Don't spoil him, you'll get tooth decay if you eat it again, you're not here this morning, Lu Jianxing almost used up the instant milk tea I bought last time." Finished."

Sheng Yexing usually doesn't like sweets, but thinking that Li Dingxi bought them, he still swallowed them.

Li Dingxi said with a smile: "Wait for him to eat! I can afford it!"

"You don't need to confess."

Sheng Yexing finished the cake with a few mouthfuls, "If you really want to get used to him, you might as well stay and don't go to any hospital. Is it really that serious?"

"It's dark!"

Glancing at the time and throwing the phone aside, Li Dingxi shook his head, "That feeling is worse than losing a basketball game before."

In the previous competitions in the district, the team was still in the adjustment stage. Li Dingxi paid special attention to winning and losing, and every time he desperately wanted to win the No.1 and MVP.At the very beginning, Sheng Yexing showed his talents, and Li Dingxi always grabbed him for a one-on-one solo. After going back and forth, Li Dingxi was beaten by Sheng Yexing, followed by a large group of boys who were also beaten.

"..." Sheng Yexing was silent for a long time, "How does it feel?"

"Can't do anything well, very frustrated."

Li Dingxi said, sighing, "You said that I have grown up stumblingly, and I have to deal with this matter again. It's like saving money for a long time, and want to go on a trip, but find that I have lost my ID card."

Lu Jianxing, who was silent next to him, swallowed the cake into his throat, followed inexplicably, "Hey."

Li Dingxi raised the corners of his lips and smiled.

Rubbing the back of Lu Jianxing's head, Sheng Yexing withdrew his hand and clenched into a fist, wanting to touch Li Dingxi: "Try not to commit suicide."

Seeing this, Li Dingxi punched his fist, and readily agreed: "Okay!"

"By the way, you can't cut your wrists yet," Sheng Yexing emphasized, "I tried it, and it hurts. I bleed a lot, and I still can't die."

What he didn't see was that when he said "I tried", Lu Jianxing's shoulders shook.

Li Dingxi asked: "It hurts?"

Sheng Yexing replied: "Well, the pain was so painful that I couldn't feel it, and then the nurse broke in. In our place, we couldn't even lock the door when we went to the toilet."

Hearing his wrist swell, Li Dingxi nodded: "Okay..."

Sheng Yexing's tone was so light that he didn't seem to be narrating his own affairs, "Don't forget our wish during the New Year's Eve in the first year of high school, to strive for - Ming, Nian, No, Suicide, Suicide."

"it is good."

Sheng Yexing breathed a sigh of relief, "Yes."

"Why me... I'm obviously fine," Li Dingxi choked up, "Suddenly one day, I wanted to cry when I was alone."

"Why didn't you say it before?" Sheng Yexing asked.

"It's a failure to let the brothers worry about themselves," Li Dingxi slowed down and lamented, "Just like you, you can always resist many things alone. I also want to be like you."

Sheng Yexing wanted to beat him up, "Is that the same? You are sick, not anything else."

"It's okay," Li Dingxi lowered his hairy head while sighing, "Anyway... I've never been a normal person."

"Ah."

"We're all normal, aren't we?"

Facing his brother's "soul torture", Sheng Yexing hesitated for a while, and said in a volume that Lu Jianxing could hear clearly: "Not necessarily."

Lu Jianxing did not participate in the discussion from the beginning to the end.

He only cares about playing with the spoon, and when the cream gets to the corner of his mouth, he rolls it with the tip of his tongue, like an obsessive-compulsive disorder, every time he scoops up the same size cake, and if it gets smaller, he starts over again, absolutely not allowing a little difference.

Satisfied with the last piece of cake in his stomach, he raised his head to look at the two people who seemed to have stopped talking.

Li Dingxi didn't know why he was crying with his head down, and tears fell on the cake.

What about Sheng Ye Xing?

He also seemed very sad, with tears streaming down the corners of his eyes.

Two days before Li Dingxi left, City No. [-] School organized a school-wide letter activity.

This event was supposed to be held in May before, but it was delayed due to various reasons, and it finally dragged on until all the children in Class [-] and [-] of Senior High came back.To Tang Han's regret, Dongxia failed to catch up with this event.

After breakfast, Sheng Yexing pushed his Pathfinder motorcycle out of the student dormitory courtyard, bit a brown sugar steamed bun in his mouth, and stuffed another in Lu Jianxing's mouth.

Lu Jianxing was even more tugging, biting a steamed bun, his eyes were very disdainful, and he was carrying a schoolbag that didn't contain many books.

With another flick, he put the schoolbag on his shoulders.

Lu Jianxing's legs dangling in his basketball shoes, his ankles were so white that they almost glistened in the morning sun.

He has grown a little fatter than when he first came to the city, and he has grown a little taller in more than half a year. He has a ruddy complexion. Gradually fixed into deep red, as if every day is sunny.

Occasionally, seeing stars on the road turned dark blue, Gu Qunshan covered his face with a book, and turned his head mysteriously——

"Brother Lu."

Lu Jianxing's writing pen paused for a second, and he raised his eyes to glance at Gu Qunshan.

Meaning: why?

Because of his dullness, Lu Jianxing's eyes are mostly looking for defeat.

Gu Qunshan moved the bench closer, and touched Lu Jianxing's side face with his fingertips, "Why did it turn blue today? I remember my boss told me that red is happy, blue is unhappy, right? Who Offended you?"

Lu Jianxing didn't speak, and the corners of his mouth curved slightly downward.

"Fuck!" Gu Qunshan made a gesture to take off his shoes and hit him, "See if I don't skin him!"

Lu Jianxing played tricks, hooked his fingers, and made a "come closer" gesture.

Gu Qunshan approached "doglegs" again.

As if a certain switch was triggered, Lu Jianxing said in the classroom with an expressionless face at a super loud volume: "Sheng-ye-go!"

The voice was so loud that all the students turned their heads to look at them, and then hurriedly turned away after finding nothing unusual.Most people are used to the fact that "little autistic" has become a "big horn".

The person who was called lazily raised his elbows from the table and raised his eyebrows at Gu Qunshan: "Is there something wrong?"

"No, it's okay." Gu Qunshan immediately covered his face with a book, "I just asked him who is the most handsome in our third and seventh class."

Sheng Yexing did wake up, rubbed his eyes, "Really?"

"real!"

After finishing speaking, Gu Qunshan had already turned around.

Sheng Yexing's scrutinizing eyes moved to Lu Jianxing again, Lu Jianxing was stunned for two seconds, "hmmm" answered indiscriminately, and added: "Really."

Before the class bell rang, Sheng Yexing counted the coins in the pocket of the school uniform, and did the math, it just happened to be enough to buy a can of drink.

but……

The problem of taking medicine to gain weight still bothers him.

If he hadn't exercised so much, he would probably lose his abdominal muscles now.Sheng Yexing sighed, and put the coin back into the bag.Most of the drinks in the vending machines are still cold, and Lu Jianxing has to drink less.

Thinking about it, he reached for Lu Jianxing's mineral water bottle, unscrewed it and took a sip.

Lu Jianxing glanced at him, and was used to two people drinking a bottle of water.

Noticing that Lu Jianxing had been writing a small composition since morning self-study, Sheng Yexing asked curiously, "What are you writing?"

After he finished speaking, he moved closer, as if whispering: "A love letter?"

Gu Qunshan in the front seat seemed to hear it, and shook his head self-consciously with a "tsk".

Sheng Yexing stretched out his leg and kicked Gu Qunshan's stool.

Lu Jianxing suddenly covered what he wrote as if shy, put the cap on the pen, and decided to continue writing later.He lay on his stomach, raised his head from his arms, and said with bright eyes, "Movement, the topic."

Only then did Sheng Yexing remember that Tang Han had arranged for him to write an essay.

The title is: "Writing to Myself Three Years Later".