My green plums are very sour

When I was in that situation, I never felt that there was anything wrong with my thoughts and actions, but I just upheld my consistent principles and did something that I thought was right.Even when I was in my 20s, I felt that I was too stubborn, but at that time, I couldn't ask for more from a young man of sixteen or seventeen. Even if I went back in time, I would still do the same thing.

For a long time, I focused on my own affairs, and did not ask about Shu Yu and Tao Songnian's situation. As I said at the beginning, I will not interfere in their affairs.Although it was an angry word that I said quickly, but I was as stubborn as I was, and I really never asked again.

During those days, Shu Yu seemed to have calmed down suddenly, and she was very obedient. Even after she went to the liberal arts class, she didn't play around wantonly. Instead, she was more serious than before, as if she really wanted to temper herself.Although the ranking tables for arts and sciences are separate, thanks to the convenience of my frequent visits to the teacher's office, I can get the ranking table for each of her exams. After a few months of reading, the grades are surprisingly stable, and gradually Take it easy.

I didn't ask about their affairs, and Shu Yu didn't take the initiative to mention it.It's as if these things have been put on hold.This is actually very good, out of sight and out of mind, I don't need to think about it, I have already started to check the score line of the past years on the Internet when I am panting, and estimate which schools I can go to.For me, this is the most important thing. Only by thinking clearly about where I want to go and what to study in the future can I have a clear goal.I can't make the same mistakes I made with the self-enrollment exam.

Maybe I am rational enough in planning the general direction, but in terms of emotions, I am not exempt, there will always be times when I am stupid.

I have always thought that I can bear it pretty well, but it turns out that I am just a paper tiger, once encountering unexpected things, I will panic and be at a loss.

After not asking about their progress for a long time, I accidentally remembered that Tao Songnian seemed to be about to take the college entrance examination, so I mentioned it in passing, not wanting to get a plain answer from Shu Yu, saying that they were not that kind of relationship.

At first I didn't take it to heart, I just thought it was because she didn't want to talk too much, so let's forget about it.But not long after, I heard Tao Songnian say that Shu Yu rejected her because Shu Yu had someone else in her heart, so I really believed that the relationship between them was over before it started.

This makes me curious and angry. On the surface, I am Shu Yu's best friend, but I don't even know that she has someone else in her heart. This unknown "rival in love" hides really deep enough.

As the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.As soon as I asked, I accidentally punctured the thin layer of window paper.

To my embarrassment, Shu Yu knew that I liked her long ago.And from her soft eyes, I quickly realized that the person they were talking about was myself.

At first I was naturally surprised, but I couldn't help but feel a little bit happy.But soon, doubts and apprehensions followed.

Perhaps for many people, it is a very happy thing to know that the person they like also likes themselves, and they wish they could make love with each other on the spot.But when you think about it, can you really be together so naturally?

I have witnessed their tacit eye contact, and I have also heard Shu Yu say that they have a crush on each other. These can't be fake, can they?

So what's going on now?One said in a flat tone that they were not in that kind of relationship, and the other said with a relieved expression that he had been rejected.This back and forth, before the start, they had already withdrawn their troops. The haste was so confusing that it was as light as joking.

And all this has nothing to do with me. "Shu Yu has someone else in her heart."This other person turned out to be myself.Leaving aside my unintentional meddling in other people's relationships, it was the suddenness of Shu Yu's feelings that made me deeply disturbed.

I don't know what other people will think, but in such a situation, I can't choose to believe it immediately.It's like going to a restaurant to eat alone, ordering a meal and then regretting it, saying that what I actually wanted was another dish.This will inevitably make people suspicious, and they dare not place an order at will. What if she changes her mind again?

Except for this point, Shu Yu already knew that I liked her very early on, and also saw my childish little emotions, but she never said anything, always silently accommodating me.

I have no way of determining exactly whether her feelings for me are genuinely desires, or if my emotional ups and downs these days have spilled over into her, causing her to have a habit of putting me first over the years. kind of illusion.I know that I can easily influence Shuyu, and she has long been used to relying on and obeying me.I'm afraid it's just her habit. After all, we've known each other for too long, and our social circle is narrow, and I'm just a special one among the limited people she knows.

If this is wrong, it will not be easy to end.When the head is hot, everyone will want to take a step forward, but if there is an accident, it will be difficult to return to the original position if something happens.At that time, no matter who of us regrets it, it will be a heavy blow to the friendship we have accumulated over the years. At least it will be awkward to get along with each other, and at the worst it will be embarrassing to see you again.In view of the relationship between our two families, no matter what the result is, we can't hide it from the elders in the family.That way, sooner or later, something will come out.

After I found out about this, I was very confused for a period of time. I failed the first exam when I returned to school on leave, and I was called to the office by the head teacher to scold me.

Of course I knew what the problem was, but actually trying to fix it made me hesitant.When I came out of the office, Shu Yu was waiting for me at the door with a worried look on her face. When she saw me, she immediately strode over and stood in front of me, asking me anxiously.

She told me to tell the truth and not to lie to her.I looked at her worry and uneasiness, and I couldn't deny it no matter what, so I had to suppress the distress in my heart, relax my facial expression and acquiesce.

Shu Yu seemed to be in a more complicated mood than I was, and looked a little at a loss, but his eyes were full of joy, and there was a glimmer of light in this dim corridor.Her eyes looked very much like many years ago, when she heard me read the composition and praised her in front of the whole class, she wanted to laugh but was embarrassed to laugh, with a hint of shame.

So goofy and cute, like a kid who got a reward.How did she know that just when she was full of joy, I had already made a cruel decision.

I have always had a habit of never doing things that I am not sure about.As for whether the relationship between Shu Yu and I should go with the flow and how to develop it, I was not sure if I asked myself. The only thing that was clear was that at that time I couldn't bear this responsibility at all.Even my own future is just a blueprint, and I can't bear it, let alone the two of us.If they stay together like this, the possibility of delaying each other is too high to measure.

As for whether Shu Yu was prepared, I subconsciously didn't think about it.Our unequal way of getting along over the years has made me habitually make decisions alone, without any intention of discussing with her.

Whether it's cowardly and escaping, or thinking too much, I really think that we are not ready to be together at that time.Just having an impulse is not enough to support us to go on.And I don't want to wait until the conflict breaks out to face Shu Yu's sad and restless eyes.

It is not easy to carry out this decision firmly, when Shu Yu leaned quietly on me after drunk, buried her face in my shoulder and neck to breathe, and when she sobbed and asked me if I didn't care about her , I have been shaken, and my determination, which was not strong in the first place, was severely tortured.Undoubtedly, Shu Yu's influence on me is far greater than I imagined.

It's just that I'm stubborn by nature, and I keep telling myself to be cautious, and if I make a wrong step, it's hard to turn back.At this important juncture, what I need is an optimal solution, rather than being emotional and trying to be happy for a while.

After the results of the college entrance examination came out, I almost looked through the report guide, and once wanted to find a compromise solution, at least to be closer after we separated.But there was a very real problem in front of me, which made me quickly dismiss this idea.

Although Shu Yu's grades have been improving all the time, and the college entrance examination has exceeded the first line by [-] or [-] points, there is still a big gap with my grades.What's more, the admission score of liberal arts is higher than that of science. From this point of view, it is almost impossible for her to be admitted to the school I want to go to together with me.

What about the other way around?Can I choose where she can be admitted?From a conditional point of view, it is absolutely possible.But from the perspective of feasibility, I don't have such a plan.To be honest, I absolutely can't do it.It is impossible for me to choose a path that is lower than my expectations in a feverish manner, and then blame Shuyu for affecting my judgment when I regret it.

Then, as she said, just choose a school in the same city as me, choose a major to hang out, as long as we are close enough.How can I feel at ease like this?Just thinking about it in my head makes me feel like I'm about to be overwhelmed by guilt.

I will not let Shu Yu become my resistance, and likewise, I cannot be her resistance.

At that time, I found many reasons for myself, and each one seemed reasonable.But every reason points to the most essential problem. I am not that smart. I am just a stubborn, cowardly and self-righteous ordinary person who has done some things that hurt others and myself.