My green plums are very sour

This is an extremely chaotic time.My sanity and ingenuity, which I pride myself on, are of no use at times like this.The more I want to suppress the unhappiness in my heart, the more I can't help imagining all kinds of pictures of them together in my mind, like masochistic.

What makes me even more embarrassed is that no one knows about these stupid inner dramas except myself.Putting on a self-pitying posture, I don't know who it is for.It's really boring.

I had already thought about it at the time, since Shu Yu had a good impression of others, then I can hide all my thoughts and let them rot in my heart, and it is completely fine to continue to be good friends like this.Once the third year of high school is over, everyone will go their separate ways, doing whatever they want, and everything will be solved easily.

However, I overestimated myself, and I couldn't be that generous.He said it so simply, as if he could just close his eyes and pretend there was nothing to do, and when he closed the door, he would just bite his lip and pant heavily.If only it were that easy.

People, the more you resist something, the more fate will force you to face it.

I had a dream that night. I dreamed that Shu Yu was holding Tao Songnian's hand and standing side by side in front of me. The two of them looked at each other and smiled tacitly. up.After waking up, even though I knew it was just a dream, I was still sweating profusely. I got up in the middle of the night and went into the living room in the dark. I drank several cups of cold water and sat on the sofa all night.When my parents got up in the morning and found me in a daze on the sofa, they thought I was in a daze.

As the old saying goes, if you think day by day and dream at night, the ancients are sincere and never deceive you.I can't get peace in my dreams.

When I was about to go to school the next afternoon, Shu Yu went downstairs early to wait for me, with a worried look on her bicycle.I hid on the stairs and took a peek, taking all her expressions into my eyes, and couldn't bear to make her nervous, so I calmed down and got into the car without saying a word, waiting for her to drive me to school.Sure enough, Shu Yu raised his eyebrows and let out a sigh of relief.

In the next few hours of evening self-study, I actually did nothing at all. I was in a daze almost the whole time, and the opened book stayed on the same page for a long time, like a decoration.When I came back to my senses, I just noticed Liu Yiren squinted his eyes and looked back. His gaze fell on my open book, with a half-smile expression on his face.I couldn't help but frowned and closed the textbook casually, feeling annoyed that someone had peeked into my mind.

After school, I sat on Shuyu's back seat, holding our schoolbags in my arms, and looked sideways at her thin and thin back. The gentle night wind passed through the sleeves, blowing the slightly loose T-shirt into pieces. a small balloon.

The reassuring scent of the sun on her body and the faint scent of soap on her clothes drifted into my nose with the night wind, enveloping my whole being.

I remembered that dream, couldn't help but grabbed the back of her clothes, buried my head against her back, and asked her if she had ever held hands with Tao Songnian.I was afraid of revealing my emotions too much, or being betrayed by the eyes and expressions, so I kept my face close to her back, poked the tip of my nose on her spine, and sprayed hot breath on the surface of her skin through the soft fabric .

Shu Yu seemed to be frightened by me. She stopped the car and wanted to turn around, but she couldn't see my face.

I took a deep breath, trying to laugh but couldn't.Even if not now, but sooner or later there will be.

Even so, I still made a decision to avoid suspicion, and it is better not to feed Shu Yu breakfast in the morning, one is to avoid myself suffering, and the other is not to be bumped into by Tao Songnian and make it difficult for Shu Yu.

I thought it was understandable to do so, but when I thought about it carefully, I felt that I was really hypocritical and overreacted. On the contrary, I showed too much concern and easily aroused suspicion.

I don't know if it's because of this, but Shu Yu suddenly pays special attention to my emotions, taking care of my emotions more than before, and even rejected Tao Songnian's proposal to send her home after school.

I was a little surprised, and tried to tell her not to do this, but was interrupted bluntly by Shu Yu.She seemed to expect that I would persuade her, and she had already found an excuse.I didn't mention me in half a word, and it seemed to be thinking about Tao Songnian between the lines.But I can feel that this matter has nothing to do with me.

To be honest, I don't want to get involved in it. It's extremely immoral, and the inherent principles in my heart don't allow me to do so.But when I thought that Shu Yu was considering my feelings more and more, and it could even be said that he was deliberately leaning towards me, I couldn't help but feel secretly refreshed, a little bit proud.On the other hand, I still mentioned Tao Songnian in front of her insincerely, and cared about their progress, as if I was very open and upright.

Such ambivalence almost split me into two people.I finally realized that I myself was so hypocritical and mean.

On the night when Rui Rui and Qiu Zicheng's incident happened, Shu Yu and I were all stopped by our parents after returning home without exception, and made some vague remarks.

My parents usually don't care about me, because I have been very obedient since I was a child, and I don't need them to worry about it at all, and I have earned enough face for them outside.Except for the time when I failed the self-enrollment exam, they had almost no chance to worry about me or express disappointment in me.It also makes them lose a lot of the fun of being parents.

It is rare to have such an opportunity, so Dad is naturally ready to fulfill his duties as a father.It's just that he laid the groundwork for a long time, and before I got to the point, I replied to him very calmly, "I have my own measure", which made him choked up for a long time and shut up embarrassingly.

But in fact, where do I have any sense of proportion?While thinking about it, what should I do after three years of separation, when everyone will be busy, naturally there will be no time to think about these things, and it will gradually fade away.On the one hand, I was addicted to enjoying Shu Yu's special care, and masochistically stuck our distance at a position that was not far or close.

During that time, I could clearly feel that Shu Yu consciously wanted to repair our relationship, but she found that after I kept restraint and controlled distance, she quickly complied with my wishes and cooperated with me very much.Of course I can't blame her, it's my fault.In our relationship, I have always been relatively strong, which made her develop a submissive psychology, and she must obey my wishes like a conditioned reflex.

Compared with the earthquake, these small details before are really nothing.

Our class is the kind of class that the whole school places high hopes on in the legend. No matter at any time, learning is the top priority, even in critical moments such as earthquakes. When the other classes have almost escaped, we were allowed to leave the classroom.

Before that, everyone had to sit there properly, focusing on the textbooks in their hands, no matter how scared they were, they were not allowed to show the slightest panic.

I didn't expect Shu Yu to come to me against the flow of people.Their shift is at the top of the stairs, so it is very convenient to escape. Walking through the three-meter-wide aisle is the stairs, and it is safe to walk down with the fleeing crowd.

She caught me at the door of the classroom, grabbed my wrist to protect me behind her, and rushed down quickly through the crowd all the way. When she was in a safe place, she found that her hand was scratched by a falling imitation porcelain block. long wound.

Like her, I have never experienced an earthquake before, and I was even more panicked than her when I suddenly faced such a disaster.

She said it didn't hurt.But how could it not hurt?There was such a long wound, and blood was oozing out.Since she was a child, she has been most afraid of pain. She would wipe her tears and be coaxed to eat sweets when she stumbled a little.

I didn't have any sugar on me at that time, I just held her arm hard, and my eye sockets were so hot that I could squeeze out water at any time.

Humans are reactive and react subconsciously when they encounter danger.The vast majority of people will reflexively choose to escape by themselves, while a small number of people will choose to protect others.

Under the circumstances at that time, I couldn't tell why she came to me instead of Tao Songnian.The thousands of emotions in my heart turned into ice picks when Tao Songnian appeared, and I couldn't continue to hold Shu Yu's arm.At least in front of Tao Songnian, it's inappropriate for me to do so.

When I went home and watched TV, I realized that the earthquake was so severe, and the images of devastated and ruined walls still lingered in my mind.Almost, only a little bit, we will become part of the ruins, maybe we will be carried out by the rescuers lying on the trunk of the car like the rescued wounded.

I can't help feeling scared.Sleeping on the side of the road at night, I curled up in the tent alone in a daze while no one was paying attention. The stimulation I received during the day only showed its power at night, which made me want to cry unconsciously, and I was really bored and panicked.

Shu Yu was the first to discover it.She anxiously asked me what was wrong, then lay down next to me, put her arms around me, and the two of them stuck together to keep warm.

We were so close, every breath was full of each other's breath.She was looking at me from such a close distance, and her eyes moved a little bit on my face.I closed my eyes tightly, so nervous that the adrenaline was rushing, afraid that she would hear my pounding heartbeat.

Her arms are very warm, even though there is a strong chill on the jacket, the temperature on her body is so hot that it makes me feel feverish.

But I always thought that this position is not mine, and then resolutely withdrew, leaving her stunned behind, without making a sound for a long while.