The alien and the president

【18】

Before joining the funeral parlor, the little star was not idle except for filming, and was busy with all kinds of common sense in modern society at the president's house.

Wan Yao Palace has been with demons and ghosts all year round, so different people know how to open yin and yang eyes, and can see ghosts. The little star learns the way of speaking of modern people and the use of various modern objects from the ghosts who pass by the president's house. , as well as various rules of modern society, and even Internet buzzwords.

One day when the CEO came home, the little star who was figuring out how to use household appliances pointed to the air conditioner and asked him, "What is this for?"

"This..." The president was about to explain, but the little star looked to the left of the president in a blink of an eye, and said clearly, "Oh, cool wind blows in summer, and hot wind blows in winter."

The president's face turned pale: "Who are you talking to!?"

The little star raised her face slightly again, stared at 10 cm above the president's head, and said, "Got it, you need to use the remote control."

Then it seemed that under the guidance of someone, I found the remote control with ease.

The president went mad on the spot, bouncing wildly like a cockroach crawling on his body, and flapped around: "Is there a ghost on my body!? Is there a ghost lying on my back!?"

The little star laughed, "I'll help you drive away." Then he walked up to the president and said, "You guys get off him, he's timid and afraid of ghosts."

"How many are there???" The president couldn't help screaming.

"Four, stack Arhats on top of you." The little star frowned, staring at the president's abdomen, and scolded, "And you, don't think I won't be able to see you if I get in."

"Does it make sense to get in!?" The CEO went crazy, "Let him come out!"

The little star hugged her arms, and said fiercely: "I'll count by dozens and you come out for me honestly, ten, nine, eight..."

"Don't start counting from ten!!!" The CEO yelled, "Isn't it okay to start counting from three!!!"

Little Star stroked the CEO's meticulously combed hair like a puppy, and comforted him, "Okay, okay, it's gone."

The president broke down: "Why are there so many ghosts haunting me! I never harmed anyone! I just bankrupted many presidents! But there is no way, our circle of presidents is so cruel, only plastic brotherhood, I won't let Other presidents go bankrupt, other presidents will make me go bankrupt!"

The little star said in surprise: "Who said you hurt someone?"

The president was puzzled: "Then why are there ghosts haunting me?"

"Because I'm a different person with a very negative physique, passing ghosts will be attracted by my physique, just like moths like to be close to fire." Little Star said, "But don't worry, without my permission, they will not Dare to get too close to me."

The CEO was taken aback, and then he was so angry that he spoke his hometown dialect again: "...who the hell is worried about you??? Please take care of yourself!!!"

Xiao Xingxing added: "These lonely ghosts dare not get too close to me, but they also covet my extreme Yin physique, so they are scattered around me. They are not coming for you, they just use your body to rest. "

Hearing this, the 1.8-meter-eight president jumped up, hugging the 1.6-meter-five star like a koala, and said wittily, "That means you are the safest."

With a blank expression on his face, the little star took off the president with one hand, put it on the ground, took out a crumpled facial tissue from his pocket, folded it into small pieces, and stuffed it into the president's hand, with an inscrutable tone: "This talisman can ward off evil spirits." , A hundred ghosts do not invade, you take care of it and don't pester me."

The president looked at the facial tissue: "...Even if you want me ass, you can just draw two strokes at any rate!!!"

"All right, all right," Little Star said impatiently, "I'll do just two strokes."

CEO: "You've made it clear that you want me ass! Even if you draw it, I won't believe it!!!"

So when he was at home, the president was inseparable from the little star.

【19】

A week later, arrangements were made for the little starlet to go to the funeral parlor as a corpse makeup artist.

On this day, the employees of the funeral home watched as if they were gods, the little star came to work in the funeral home in a luxury sports car worth millions, and was dressed from head to toe in staggeringly expensive luxury goods.

As soon as the sports car stopped, a nanny car stopped immediately behind the sports car. Several tall bodyguards got out of the nanny car, and the three of them worked together to move a luxurious but dead Victorian dresser. , and several people carried several large boxes of brand-name cosmetics, and sent them one by one to the VIP corpse containment room of the starlet in the funeral home.

Funeral staff: "..."

What is it that this person can't think of? ? ? ? ?

The leader of the funeral parlor is also a stranger, but due to the loss of spells, he has only learned some superficial spells.In fact, the leader of the funeral parlor also wanted to learn to be a charmer when he came to the Wan Yao Palace. However, the charmer profession is too popular, and the teachers are seriously lacking, so they can't take care of so many charmer disciples, so the leader who was still a boy had to obey the profession Adjustment, to learn the alien art that is not very promising in modern times.Seeing the legendary big bull in the industry coming, the leader hurriedly greeted him respectfully, readying his tongue to lick the shoes of the big bull in the industry at any time, hoping that the big bull would be in a good mood to guide himself in every move.

At this time, the little star has learned the way of speaking of modern people. Wearing sunglasses, a mask and a baseball cap, he politely greets his future colleagues: "Hello, comrades."

CEO: "..." Whoever taught this sentence should deduct wages.

"Hello, hello," the leader nodded and bowed, very dog-legged, "welcome the leader to come to our museum to inspect the work."

Funeral staff: "..."

We are just a small business unit here!There is no oily water!Even if you become a curator, you can't reach the pinnacle of life!What is this man trying to do with his golden finger so wide open! ! ! ! !

The president at the side: "..."

【20】

In the days that followed, the little star would put makeup on the body at the funeral home to absorb Yin Qi and cultivate, and when there was an announcement, he would go to the announcement, rush back and forth between the funeral home and the studio, and stay at the president's house at night, which was very natural. But he couldn't resist, and didn't dare to say anything at all.

Now Minghuang Entertainment is dominated by small stars. The president still remembers that when he acted as a driver to send the little stars to Minghuang Entertainment last Sunday, the LED screen in front of the Minghuang Entertainment building scrolled impressively, "Warmly welcome Patriarch to visit the Wan Yao Palace President." Altar Visitor Guidance", the gate outside is guarded by a few charmers, and those who have nothing to do with it can't even fly in. Minghuang Entertainment's building is full of disciples of Wan Yao Palace, and everyone is respectful to the little star. add.

The little star gave lectures and guidance on the high-level spells of aliens such as life sacrifice and soul capture. The little star stood in front of the conference room, and hundreds of strangers sat kneeling down below, eagerly listening to the spells that have been lost for many years .

After the lecture, the little star also distributed a few classics of the Wan Yao Palace that have been lost for a long time in modern times to the foreign disciples who are eager for knowledge.

There are "Shape Shifting, One Lesson and One Practice", "Comprehensive Interpretation of Gathering Souls", "Three Years of Summoning Spirits and Five Years of Birth Sacrifice", "Handbook of Important and Difficult Points of Blood Feeding"...

Learning spells is no easier than high school students. The formulas, principles, and applications of various spells must be fully mastered and proficiently applied. The learning spirit without a nod can never be learned, and spells like this It's not enough to just learn something, you can still pass the exam if you study hard, but you can only die if you study spells by death.Spells need to be consolidated from time to time. Spellcasters must integrate various types of questions into their flesh and blood, so that solving problems becomes an instinct, so that they can release suitable spell skills without thinking in actual combat.

When the little star was posting the questions, the bored CEO stretched his neck curiously to look at the questions in the hands of the strangers.

[application question] It is known that Xiaohong manipulates a fifth-level ghost to fight against the black mountain old demon, with a second level of yin energy. Let me ask, Xiaohong can use [-]% of the yin energy to move business and change feathers, which can defuse the several attacks of the black mountain old demon On Ghost?

CEO: "..." What the fuck is this?The questions you martial arts masters do are too down-to-earth!

At the end, the little star mentioned the important purpose of his trip to capture Qing Yazi, described Qing Yazi's appearance and characteristics and his usual spells, and asked all the different people in Wan Yao Palace to help him pay attention.

Hundreds of different disciples said in unison: "I am willing to go through fire and water for the patriarch!"

The president was shocked!The president, a commoner who holds the lifeblood of the global economy, can't afford to offend so many martial artists who deal with gods, ghosts and ghosts every day!

From then on, the president never dared to express any dissatisfaction with the little star.

The president is now only thinking of letting the little star practice quickly, quickly find that villain named Qing Yazi, and quickly arrest him so that he can go back to their own world, so that the president can be clean.

【21】

So the little star has another daily job of preparing lessons. When he is free, he goes to Minghuang Entertainment, which is the main altar of Wan Yao Palace, to give lessons to his disciples and grandchildren, and to talk about magic techniques that have been lost for many years.

However, for the little star, the most important thing at present is to absorb Yin Qi from the body to cultivate. Ever since the little star tracked Qing Yazi to modern times, Qing Yazi has never shown up again, which makes the people of Wan Yao Palace panic. The disciples of Wan Yao Palace posted rewards for clues on the martial arts forum, but all had little effect.

【22】

The job of a corpse makeup artist, as the name suggests, is to groom and dress up the dead who are often not very good-looking when they die.

In addition, modern society is different from ancient times. The modern world has experienced a process from population explosion to low birth rate. Population explosion led to an extremely large number of souls in the underworld, but the subsequent low birth rate caused not all souls to get it. Chance of reincarnation.For the sake of fairness, the underworld currently adopts the lottery reincarnation system, so if the ghost fails to shake the reincarnation number after leaving the body, it will not be reincarnated. It is the moment of being buried in the ground-the appearance of the corpse will become the appearance of the person's ghost state, and there will be no change until reincarnation.

Even ghosts have a heart for beauty, and no one would like to always have a bloody ugly face. After all, if you are unlucky, you may have to shake the number for a long time. It is best to look better, but this kind of Things are told by little stars and ghosts, and ordinary people without yin and yang eyes have no way of knowing.

On this day, the funeral home received the body of a young woman.

The facial features of the female corpse were good-looking, but the body was covered with scars, as if she had been abused a lot during her lifetime.

A female ghost was crying there, crying miserably.

The little star cleaned the body of the female corpse in his dedicated VIP containment room, absorbed the strong yin energy, and asked casually in a homely tone: "How did you die?"

The female ghost was bleeding from all seven orifices, her resentment was steaming, she could not see the whites of her eyes, she choked and said: "I was tortured to death by my husband."

The strangers from Wan Yao Palace are used to seeing life and death, so they are not filled with righteous indignation, they just calmly said: "Did the person who killed you pay for his life?"

The female ghost said sadly: "I was tortured to death by my husband. If a husband kills his wife, can it be considered murder? If it's not murder, what kind of life should I pay for it?"

The little star shook his head and said in disapproval: "This is not possible. In our feudal society, no matter who kills, anyway, killing people will pay for their lives."

Saying that, he gave the female ghost some of his accumulated Yin Qi, and lightly reprimanded: "Go!"

The female ghost inhaled the yin energy, turned into a fierce ghost, her muscles burst, and turned into a giant stone in the ghost, and shot away towards home, crying and howling.

After a while, the female ghost came back, her revenge was avenged, her resentment dissipated, and she returned to her weak and beautiful appearance before she was alive.

The little star showed off her luxurious dressing table: "What color do you usually wear lipstick?"

The female ghost rubbed her little hands excitedly, and asked, "Do you have Yang Shulin's clarinet lip gloss 412?"

The little star picked out the one the female ghost wanted: "Yes."

The female ghost clapped her little hands: "If you want to paint this, you should paint this."

Female ghost: "Wow, you still have LAMER's mask!"

The little star took it out generously: "I'll apply it to you."

The female ghost came out through the wall screaming and turned around for three and a half weeks and came back through the wall again, with tears in her eyes: "I haven't done it in my life."

While inhaling Yin Qi, the little star applied a mask to the corpse, and also used fairy water, and studied with the female ghost how to make the most beautiful makeup in the past, and used a small half tube of concealer to hide the bruises on the female corpse's face It was clean, and according to the female ghost's request, she put on a makeup that is very popular nowadays.

The female corpse's face was as beautiful as before, and it seemed that she was just asleep.

The little star looked up and down the female corpse for a moment, then took out a small Chanel handbag, stuffed it into the female corpse's hand, and let it go into the incinerator with the female corpse: "This one matches your clothes well, so go all the way."

【23】

As soon as the little star had finished transforming into a female ghost, a new victim of myocardial infarction was followed by him.

The female ghost said faintly: "It's him, I just strangled him to death."

The little star understood: "Oh, it's scum."

So the little star made his own idea and raised the hairline of the male corpse by 2 centimeters, and it was so round that even the dead could laugh out loud, and the female ghost laughed so hard that tears came out.

The male ghost who dared not say a word: "..."

"You should be like this before reincarnation," Xiao Xingxing said coldly, "If I don't give you a good transformation, you have something to do."

Working in a funeral parlor is like a fish in water for a starlet. Not only can he absorb Yin Qi to practice, but he can also do justice from time to time, which is very cool.

【24】

Although the president prayed to God and Buddha all day long, praying that the little star would leave quickly, but since the little star joined the funeral home to work, his life has basically returned to calm, and the abnormality began that afternoon.

That day, the president was handsomely reviewing the quarterly report in his office when a figure suddenly passed by the window.

When the president looked up, he found a man in black wearing sunglasses and a mask lying on the window, looking inside.

And the president's office is on the 28th floor.

The president's face turned pale: "Ahhhhhh!"

The man seemed to be just looking at it. Seeing the president screaming, he hesitated for a moment, then turned his wrist, and somehow conjured a long sword out of nowhere, and stabbed at the glass. With a loud noise from Duang, the mass Several thin spider-like cracks appeared on the excellent tempered glass.

This power is far beyond that of ordinary people, not to mention the way that person floats in mid-air—the CEO panicked, Zi'er screamed and rushed out of the office, but the man in black outside the window didn't care about his sword. Shaking his head as if dissatisfied with breaking the glass, his figure flickered and disappeared.

The president screamed like a chicken and rushed all the way to the security room: "Call the police! Hurry and call the police! Someone just stabbed my glass with a sword outside my window!"

The security guards looked at the president with confused eyes. After all, everyone knew that the president's office was on the 28th floor, and, with a sword?Even if it is a thief, who would climb to the 28th floor in broad daylight and stab tempered glass with a sword?There is no logic at all!

The president said hoarsely: "You guys should call the police!"

Only then did the security guards take action, and the president locked the door of the security room, piled tables, chairs and benches against the door, and called the little star.

Because the thing that happened just now has one thing in common with the little star, that is——weird.

The president remembered what the little star said about catching the villain Qing Yazi, and felt that it might have something to do with it. Maybe the man in black hanging outside the window just now was Qing Yazi, and even if he wasn’t, he might be a fellow gangster, Qing Yazi. This name sounds like a cultivator, and he can fly and use the sword. He will definitely recite this pot!

When the call was connected, the president yelled anxiously, "Hey, where are you? What are you doing?"

The little star raised his head from the book, and said wearily: "Funeral home, prepare lessons for disciples and grandchildren, you have something to say."

The president settled down, and told Xiao Xingxing the ins and outs of the matter as quickly as possible. At the end, he asked: "Is this matter related to that villain Qingyazi you mentioned? That Can people be Qingyazi?"

"It's very possible." The calm little star's tone revealed a rare urgency, "I'll go over and see right away."

The president urged: "The security has already called the police, and the police will arrive soon. You have to hurry up, or I may be called away to make a record."

Before he could finish speaking, Xiao Xingxing's phone had already hung up.

【25】

Before the police came, the little star had already arrived at the CEO's company. It took 3 minutes from putting down the phone to showing up.

The president curled up in the security room, enjoying the sense of security surrounded by a group of tough men, when the door of the security room suddenly knocked.

"Ah!" The president was very sensitive after being stimulated by the mysterious person outside the window. He screamed in fright, and told the security guard cowardly, "Don't open the door! The person I'm waiting for won't be so fast!"

The voice of the little star outside the door came coldly: "It's me, open the door."

"So fast?" The president sent a security guard to open the door, and hid himself behind the human wall.

After seeing that the person who came was indeed a starlet, the president said in surprise, "Didn't you say you were at the funeral parlor when you answered the phone? Why did you come here so soon?"

The little star glanced at him lightly: "Come out and say it."

The president followed the little star out of the security room like a quail.

The little star pointed at the sky: "There is no traffic jam in the sky, and the straight line between two points is the shortest." After speaking, he strode towards the president's office where many people were watching.

The president followed behind like a 100-pound little follower: "There is no traffic jam in the sky? The straight line between two points is the shortest? What do you mean? You flew over? What is your lightness skill called Shadow Moon Dance that can be used directly?" fly in the sky?"

"No," Little Star said, "I flew here on a bat, and now the bat is parked on the roof of your company."

The president tried to imagine the scene of a little star riding a bat flying in the sky, and found that he couldn't imagine it at all: "... a bat? Can that thing carry people?"

"Yes." The little star replied impatiently, "Minghuang Entertainment opened a pheasant breeding base in the suburbs."

President: "?"

The little star spoke quickly: "Calling the pheasant breeding base is actually a deception, that is, there are rows of chicken coops at the door to bluff people—sometimes students who make mistakes are locked in and punished—in fact, there are no pheasants in the farm. They are breeding a kind of huge bat. This kind of giant bat is a species handed down from the Wan Yao Palace since ancient times, which is specially used as a mount for people. The wingspan of an adult can reach four meters, and it can take two people in the sky. Flying is not a problem at all, and the life expectancy is as long as 50 years. You can live by eating vegetables and fruits. Some."

"So powerful?" The president's fear was largely dispelled by the little star's words, and only his heart was itching, and he almost wanted to ask Minghuang Entertainment immediately—or the main altar of Wan Yao Palace bought a huge bat ride, and roamed around. Skyrim or something sounds very tempting.

Little Star shrugged disapprovingly: "There are still many things you don't know."