The queen is my cousin

So, with the idea of ​​being pro-government, one day after Gu Tinglin raised his hand, I went to the Zhuangyuan Mansion to visit him in person.But who would have thought that what I saw was just an unusually cold courtyard, without servants, without lighting, and without the beauties I rewarded him, and even the old trees in the courtyard were only a few pits left.And my No. [-] scholar actually sat in the courtyard and washed clothes under the moonlight.The technology here is underdeveloped, and we use a thick rolling pin to beat the laundry, so the whole Zhuangyuan Mansion has a shrill sound of pounding clothes.

The sound of pounding clothes has a specific meaning. Li Taibai said in a poem, "For a whole month in Chang'an, there are thousands of households pounding clothes."Coupled with Gu Tinglin's crying face, I almost took him into the harem.

As a result, Gu Tinglin saw that it was me, and happily welcomed me into the courtyard. The two of us, with our heads full of stars, talked about how to govern the country.

As I was talking, I finally couldn't help asking: "Ting Lin, don't you think it's a little unlucky to talk about statecraft in the dark? The night is long, the winter is coming, and the Great Wall can't stop the northern ghosts." Feeling, you might as well light a lamp."

Gu Tinglin was silent for a long while, then stood up and patted his head enthusiastically, "Look at me, I'm so inconsiderate! Please wait a moment, Your Majesty, I'll borrow a candle from the next door~" After saying that, Pingpin was about to leave.This Zhuangyuan Mansion is majestic and imposing. Dozens of people entered the courtyard. When he came back, all the flowers withered.

Gu Tinglin laughed bitchily: "Oh, Your Majesty, you are leaving now, and you haven't even had a cup of tea!"

I was indeed a little thirsty when he mentioned it, so I stopped and wanted to ask him for a bowl of tea. Unexpectedly, he was taken aback, and rushed to the well to start fetching water: "Your Majesty, wait a moment, I will make some water and boil it." The tea will be ready soon!"

When he finished burning the water, I walked out of the yard with a flick of my sleeves.Gu Tinglin sent me to the Moon Gate very politely, "Your Majesty, you come all the way to come here without taking a sip of tea, how can I be ashamed of you... If you don't mind, you can have a light meal here before leaving!"

I thought to myself, I am used to eating big fish and meat, so why don't I eat folk delicacies.In the end, before I got my legs back, Gu Tinglin rushed out like a cannonball: "Your Majesty, I'll go to the neighbor's house to borrow some firewood, and then I'll go to Dongshi to ask for some side dishes. Your Majesty, please sit down!"

At that time, I should have seen that Gu Tinglin was a Grandet. Obviously, he dismantled and sold all the things I gave him. In the end, he wanted to be a bitch and set up a memorial archway, and drove people away while being polite, but I was So obsessed with sex, he didn't see his true face so far, it was so stupid.

In the next few months, this cunning guy probably also noticed my fiery gaze, and teased me for a while, and finally when I thought the time was right to kiss Fangze, he gave me a big slap : "Your Majesty! I'm not such a lowly person!"

I was so innocent that I was stunned.A few seconds later, he pounced on me tenderly and held my face, his eyes were affectionate, "Does it hurt you? I'll show you!"

Yes, Gu Tinglin is this kind of green tea whore.

Cousin actually said that he and Gu Tinglin are good friends, and I'm going to be in a bad mood.

Shi Balong, the general manager of the inner court, quickly returned to the hall with his whisk.He was covered in sweat from running, panting: "No, Gu Hanlin was taken away by Concubine Yanqing Gong Shu!"

"What!" I stood up awkwardly, "My beloved concubine caught my courtiers, what are you doing!"

"What else can I do." Shi Balong glanced at me with his arms crossed, "Why don't we just do that."

I just felt a lightning bolt hit my head, and seven words cut into my heart: I bought a watch last year.

"It's not uncommon for concubines to bully officials of the imperial court. Your Majesty, this kind of behavior should not be encouraged. Hurry up and kill chickens and monkeys." The cousin looked indifferent, as if he was not used to this kind of thing. Crossing the river and demolishing bridges, stabbing in the back, pretending to be a green tea bitch.His voice, which was deliberately twisted in front of outsiders, and then processed into a noble and glamorous voice, made me tremble uncontrollably.

"It's no wonder Concubine Shu of Yanqing Palace." Shi Balong interjected, "I heard from insiders that when Concubine Shu opened the door this morning, she saw Gu Hanlin lying flat in front of the door with her bare buttocks, looking like a slutty person Concubine Shu was born in the borderlands, with a savage style, where has she ever seen such a thin-skinned and tender monster, she couldn't hold it back immediately, and did something wrong..."

"Then did she know she was wrong when she saw you? How is Gu Hanlin now?"

Shi Balong thought for a while, "She intends to make a mistake to the end."

Cousin has been watching the words and expressions from the sidelines, and at this moment, he jumped up, "Wait for me to go and accept that ignorant thief concubine."

I hurriedly said, "Cousin, I'll go with you."

In order not to publicize our family ugliness, we all changed out of our bright yellow luxurious palace robes and went on tour in modest clothes.

Concubine Yanqing Gong Shu, as mentioned before, has a domineering personality and high martial arts skills. When she was in the Great Barbarian Border, she was a tough girl who dared to ride a horse and drive away wolves. Outside, there is a wall blocking us.The bronze lions on the wall are taller and mightier than my palace wall.I haven't traveled that far for a long time, and at this moment I thought, it's rare to come to the folks, why should I care about two people who don't want to have sex with me?So I innocently asked my cousin: "Cousin, cousin, what should I do?" He will definitely take care of it, and then I can go to the casino to get two dice.

My cousin whispered a few words to Shi Balong who was resting under the shade of the tree, and Shi Balong walked over unwillingly, muttering about working overtime at noon.He leaned close to the base of the wall, squeezed his throat, and yelled loudly: "Sell noodles, sell noodles! Fresh and tender noodles, you can still drip dew just from your own fields! [-] Money and silver per catty, if it’s not tasty, you don’t need money! Five renminbi per catty, if it’s not delicious, you don’t need money!…”

Sure enough, the door was kicked open from the inside immediately, and my fair-faced, high-cheeked barbarian girl came out holding Fang Tian's painted halberd and asked, "What kind of thing?...It's you!"

I blinked hard.

Concubine Shu looked up to the sky and screamed: "There is no place to find if you break through the iron shoes, and it takes no effort to get here! The emperor has red lips and white teeth, which suits my palace best. It's just that there was a demon queen back then, which made it impossible for you and me to lie in the same bed every day. Now that there are people How can I be polite to bring the emperor's flesh and blood business to Bengong's doorstep!"

"Wait a minute." Cousin pushed me away, and Gu Zi stepped forward, "We are here to find someone. I heard that Concubine Shu is very interested in Gu Hanlin, so you want to include him as a guest?"

"So-so! That green tea whore is useless, and can only be ridden by men."

I was horrified when I heard it.

Although the concubine Shu in my impression is brave, she is still an innocent and shameless girl. Why did she break the lower limit in just a few years!Did I fuck her back then or she fucked me? !

"Gu Hanlin is the pillar of the country. Since Concubine Shu regards him as weak, how about we exchange one for one and take a step back?"

I quickly grabbed my cousin's belt.Listening to this posture, my cousin wants to kill his relatives righteously, and sacrificed me for his good friend!But I'm also your good friend, cousin!Is it that the one in the bowl is not as good as the one in the pot!How can it be repaired!Sure enough, believing in men is worse than believing in ghosts.

Sure enough, Concubine Shu raised her chin, picked up Fang Tian's painting halberd and pointed at me. "I'm going to be the emperor. Queen, you are so tall, without the emperor being tied down, you must be able to reopen the harem! We two sisters can kill two birds with one stone!"

My cousin gave me a cold look.I switched to holding him with my four limbs.Even though he was surrounded by heavy objects, he still stood as firm as a green pine, like the unyielding backbone of the world.My cousin just looked up to the sky and sighed, how much ambition and heaviness was in that long sigh.He patted me on the shoulder reassuringly, stopped me behind him, and said sincerely, "Let me go!"

"He is such a good son who can sing and cry, he gave up his innocent body, and asked Concubine Shu to put down the butcher knife and change her ways!" Shi Balong stood side by side with me at some point, looking at the distant figure of his cousin being held by Concubine Shu and crying The flow continued, obviously because I was moved, but I felt that something was not right.Gu Hanlin, who I once admired, was kidnapped by my former concubine and made a face.The queen and I came to the rescue, and the queen went to have sex with my concubine in order to return to Hanlin...

Shi Balong thought for a long time and gave me a thumbs up.

"what do you mean?"

"Your Majesty, whether it is logical reasoning or bad luck, is undeniable. I think you, Your Majesty, can act in a drama called "The Emperor of Despair."

I came back to my senses and shouted towards the impenetrable long wall under the scorching sun: "Don't—"

When my cousin came back, I was already sad like a river, and the ant nests under the wall were washed away by my West Lake-like tears.I saw that his face was full of resentment, but my cousin couldn't see any refreshment, he still had a dead face.

I lowered my lips and asked him, "Are you happy?"

"No."

I never knew that I was such an easily moved person. At this moment, I burst into tears and threw myself into his arms: "You actually want to sleep with my concubine..."

"No." A big hand gently stroked the top of my head.

I went around his shoulder and saw Gu Tinglin on Shi Balong's back, sniffling and asked, "Then why did she let you back? Are you lying to me?"

"No."

"Eh? Then what did you think of?"

My cousin thought it over and over again: "I found her crux and let her change her ways from now on. I am a friend of women."

"Huh?" Is it just your ruthless look?

Cousin nodded: "I look fierce, but I'm actually very good at coaxing people."

Then why do you go up every day with a gun, you are coaxing me, bastard!