deep desire

Lu Jingshen was sitting on the sofa wearing his messy and wrinkled suit jacket, with a burning cigarette between his trembling fingers, he almost couldn't hold it steady.

The fallen cigarette ash burned the soles of his feet. He woke up like a dream. When he looked up, Feng Si had already pulled the suitcase out of the room, with a flight jacket on his arm, and calmly said to him: "The messy things I bought this time are too There are too many, if you can’t fit it, don’t take it, Boss Lu will throw it away for me.”

Lu Jing swallowed hard, her voice hoarse: "Do you have to go?"

Feng Si looked at him and curled the corners of his lips: "Then what else? What right do I have to stay?"

Feng Si was still as usual, cynical and careless, the more normal he behaved, the more uncomfortable Lu Jing felt.

It was as if he was still immersed in the shock of the sudden change and couldn't recover, but the other party had withdrawn and returned to normal, no longer taking this matter to heart, and walked forward without looking back.

"I……"

Just after saying this word, the phone rang, it was Lu Chixie's call.

Lu Jing didn't want to pick it up, but when he hung up because he was restless, he clicked to answer it. Lu Chixie's voice came: "I heard that the kiss between you and Captain Feng was posted in the company? What's going on? ? Brother, you are really impressive."

Lu Jing closed her eyes deeply. All employees in the company have received the email. It is impossible not to pass it on. Even Lu Chixie knows about it. I am afraid that the elders in the family have already known about it. No one has come to ask herself now. It was Lu Jingqing who blocked him back.

Lu Chixie curiously asked what was going on with him and Feng Si, but Lu Jingshen didn't answer, feeling upset for a while.

Lu Chixie's voice was not low. Although the hands-free was not on, Feng Si heard every sentence.

Lu Jingshen subconsciously looked at him, Feng Si didn't take it seriously, with a look of nothing to do with him, but Lu Jingshen couldn't say the word "fake".

In the end, he casually said a few words to Lu Chixie, and hung up the phone.

Feng Si put his car's backup key on the coffee table: "I'll return it to you, let's go."

After speaking, he pulled the suitcase and turned to leave, walking gracefully.

Lu Jing was stunned for two seconds, stood up abruptly, and chased after him.

Feng Si changed his shoes and was about to go out when Lu Jing blurted out: "Can you stay?"

Feng Si looked back at him, and his eyes stopped on his face for two seconds: "I can't."

Lu Jing clenched his fist deeply, Feng Si had already walked out, and entered the elevator without looking back.

The sound of the elevator going down was exceptionally clear. Lu Jing stood by the entrance door in a daze, the blood all over his body froze, freezing to the bone.

When the sound disappeared completely, he looked back in a daze at the home that had become silent and quiet again, only one person was missing, and even most of Fengsi's things were still there, but everything seemed different.

The gramophone found in a flea market in France was also there, and it was still placed in a conspicuous position in the living room. Lu Jing walked over, put on the record, and tried to shake the handle to make a little sound, but it was in vain after several attempts.

The phonograph broke again, and the man who would fix it had left.

He let go of his hands and took a step back, leaning against the wall to support his body, took a deep breath, and tried his best not to slip down.

That person is gone, he seems to have not really realized it until now.

It turned out that he was not the only one who would leave.

The next morning, Lu Jingshen went to the company before eight o'clock. Last night, he almost stayed up all night. As soon as he arrived at the company, he asked someone to make coffee, and immediately forced himself to cheer up and start working.

Liu Jie came in to see the thick dark circles under his eyes, and was taken aback. Lu Jingshen's expression was tense, and he kept his word on work.

He used to be like this, but now he looks colder and more serious than before.

From that day on, Lu Jingshen returned to the state of a workaholic. He arrived at the company at the earliest and left at the latest. He did everything by himself, and even regarded the office as his home. Home.

It was later confirmed that the email incident was indeed related to Li Wenzhong and his group, but they were already at the end of their ropes. After calling the police, Lu Jingshen did not ask any further questions.Li Wenzhong's crime of misappropriating the company's assets is conclusive and the amount is huge. He is sure to go to jail, and he doesn't need to look at him again.

Although that e-mail and that photo caused quite a stir in the company, it was just the boss's sexual news after all, and Lu Jingshen was too strong and calm. mention.

When receiving the message from An Xin, Lu Jingshen was still working overtime in the office.

An Xin reminded him to go home for dinner in two days. Lu Jing took a deep look at the calendar and realized that the Spring Festival was coming soon, and that person had been gone for more than half a month so soon.

Tired and leaning back in the seat, he stared at the bright incandescent lamp above his head, dazed for a moment, when his eyes were sore and sore, he picked up his phone and unconsciously opened Feng Si's WeChat dialog box.

After staring at the profile picture for a while, he clicked into Feng Si's circle of friends.

That person went back to the UK, and occasionally updated the status of Moments, all of which were photos of parties and fun with various friends.

In the photo, Feng Si smiles more happily, showing off freely, no matter who is around him, he is always the focus in the crowd, and the one who catches the most attention has such an aura and charm as if he was born with it.

Such a person is willing to let go of his figure, spend seven years pursuing himself, and finally leave disappointed.

Lu Jing was deeply aware of the spasm and throbbing of her heart, bent down and put her fisted hand against her forehead, lay down on the desk, and did not move for a long time.

It wasn't until New Year's Eve that Lu Jingshen went home early in the morning, simply packed himself and changed his clothes, and drove to his parents' house alone.

When parking, he saw Lu Chixie and Ling Zhuo playing with fireworks sticks in the yard, and the two of them laughed like children together.

Lu Jingshen didn't get out of the car immediately, and watched them quietly for a while, until Lu Chixie turned around and saw his car, came over, bent down and knocked on the window of his car.

"Brother, why are you here if you don't get out of the car?" Lu Chixie asked.

Lu Jing withdrew his gaze, pushed open the car door, and said lightly, "No."

Lu Chixie smiled and said "Oh": "I heard that the captain who was banned was fired by you? Has he gone back to England? I think he has a very colorful life in his circle of friends. He doesn't seem to care at all." You, you broke up?"

Lu Jing knew that Lu Chixie was trying to squeeze him. Although he didn't object to the matter between Lu Chixie and Ling Zhuo, he did not agree.

Lu Jing was not in the mood to worry about these things, just hearing Feng Si's name from other people's mouths already made him very uncomfortable, and he didn't want to say anything more.

He ignored Lu Chixie and went inside first.

Ling Zhuo came over and criticized Lu Chixie in a low voice: "Why did you intentionally annoy Brother Shen again?"

Lu Chixie pouted with a smile: "I thought he would refute me, saying that he and that Captain Feng are not a couple at all, the sun is coming out from the west."

The Lu family's reunion dinner had a good atmosphere, both Lu Jingqing and Lu Chixie brought their other half back, chatting and laughing at the dinner table, no one mentioned any unpleasant things.

When Lu Jingqing mentioned that they planned to get married next year, the taciturn Lu Jing glanced at her and her boyfriend deeply.

Lu Jingqing has always had a clear plan for his life, saying that he will marry at the age of 30 and find the right person. In this regard, he is far inferior to Lu Jingqing.

Naturally, their parents were the happiest, and they said hello again and again with wide smiles.

Lu Chixie and Ling Zhuo toasted together to congratulate Lu Jingqing, and when it was Lu Jingshen's turn, he also raised his glass and sincerely said to Lu Jingqing and her boyfriend, "Congratulations."

Lu Jingqing looked at him, but held back the words: "Thank you."

After dinner, Lu Jingshen went to the yard outside to smoke alone.

He has become more addicted to smoking recently, and at nights when he suffers from insomnia and sleeplessness, he can only rely on smoking to relieve his overly depressed emotions, but it is only drinking poison to quench thirst, or a vicious circle.

Leaning against the corner in a daze, he saw Ling Zhuo coming out alone to deliver food to their mother's dog.

Ling Zhuo turned around and saw him, hesitated for a moment, and came over to say hello to him.

Lu Jing nodded lightly.

In Ling Zhuo's impression, he has almost never seen Lu Jing smile deeply, he seems to be so serious all the time, which makes Ling Zhuo feel a little scared of him.

After saying hello, Ling Zhuo felt inexplicably embarrassed, and said to go in first, but Lu Jingshen called him, his eyes blurred after the smoke: "I asked you before, two men, can leave without a relationship maintained by marriage How far, you said, depends on the individual, but now, has the idea not changed?"

Ling Zhuo recalled the first time he formally met with the Lu family, and had an unembarrassed conversation with Lu Jingshen, and said embarrassingly, "My thoughts have not changed. Of course it's good that Sister Jingqing can have a legal relationship with her lover like that. Well, although Lu Chixie and I can't be like them, it's not bad. I have confidence in myself and him, that's all. Besides, we plan to find a suitable time to make it public. There will definitely be resistance, and I will Get ready."

Although embarrassed, but able to frankly admit the love, Lu Jing looked at Ling Zhuo like this deeply, a little speechless.

Ling Zhuo noticed that something was wrong with him, and the cigarette butt almost burned his fingers, but he didn't respond: "Brother Shen?"

Lu Jing regained his senses and extinguished the cigarette.

Seeing his flustered expression for a moment, Ling Zhuo realized for the first time that his deep impression of Lu Jing might be too rigid and preconceived. After hesitating, he persuaded him: "Brother Shen, you should smoke less, it's not bad for your body. Chi Xie quit smoking."

Lu Jingshen: "...Thank you."

Lu Chixie called for someone inside, Ling Zhuo responded and hurried in.

Lu Jing touched the cigarette case subconsciously, Feng Si only left this last pack of cigarettes.

Pull one out and relight it.

He also wanted to be more honest and chic like Lu Chixie and Ling Zhuo, but he was not them.

It was hard for him, really hard.

In the middle of the night, Lu Jing woke up again from a nightmare, sweating profusely and opened his eyes. The scene in the dream stimulated his nerves, and the stench and decay seemed to be still in his nostrils, making him want to vomit.

After finally calming down his rapid heartbeat, Lu Jing deeply touched the phone on the bedside table and checked the time. At three o'clock in the morning, he had only slept for less than three hours.

I thought I could sleep a little better when I came back to my parents' house, but the result was still the same.

With a severe headache and a drowsy mind, but no drowsiness anymore, Lu Jing propped up his body deeply, leaned against the head of the bed, turned on a dim bedside lamp, opened WeChat on his mobile phone, and clicked on that time and time again. Avatar staring again.

Before he could react, the phrase "Happy New Year" had already been sent.

His finger rested on the retract button, hesitating for two seconds, but forget it.

He was really looking forward to Feng Si's reply to him, to say something to him, even one sentence.

At dawn, Lu Jing's dry, bloodshot eyes were still staring at the phone screen.

Feng Si didn't reply.

At this point, he may be having dinner, or he may be having a party with someone, so there is no need to pay attention to himself.

Lu Jing squeezed her phone tightly, and sent another message unwillingly: "Our contract is not over yet, will you come back?"

This is the only excuse he can make for Feng Si now.

The employment contract they signed was for one year, but from the signing of the contract to the departure of Feng Si, it was only a little over three months.

Another three months, like a curse, when the time limit expires, there will always be one person who chooses to leave first.

Feng Si was playing mahjong with his family, and when the news came in, he was smoking a cigarette and drawing cards.

Glancing at the phone screen on the corner of the table, he threw the cards away without paying attention.

Feng Ting next to him also came over to take a look, and reached out to snatch his cigarette: "Stop smoking, it stinks, my sister-in-law sent you a message again, won't you reply?"

Feng Si stuffed the phone back into his pocket, and taught Feng Ting a lesson: "Don't worry about things you shouldn't care about."

Feng's mother cut in her voice: "What sister-in-law? Feng Si, you really found someone? Why didn't you tell me before? Thank God, I'll tell you dead dads tomorrow, when will you bring him back for me to see?"

Feng Ting snorted and said, "I have no chance to take it. He ran back to celebrate the New Year by himself. He was obviously kicked by someone."

Mother Feng had a look of disbelief: "You were kicked again?"

"Wrong." Feng Si ate the card thrown by his mother expressionlessly, pushed him down and called Hu, "I kicked him."

Throwing the sentence "go to the bathroom", he got up and left.

Feng Si went to the terrace outside to light a cigarette again, took out his mobile phone, looked at the time when the two WeChat messages were sent, and narrowed his eyes slightly.

After a while, he typed with one hand, and slowly replied: "Then it's my breach of contract."

The moment the screen turned on, Lu Jingshen immediately picked up the phone, but only this warm sentence came into view.

It really fits Feng Si's personality, Lu Jing thought deeply.

After he let that person down completely, Feng Si would rather break the contract than come back.

He couldn't tell what it was like in his heart, but when he saw Feng Si's reply, the words "I feel worse than you" that Feng Si said that night kept reverberating in his mind, which gave him a splitting headache.

Trying to say something to Feng Si again, the mobile phone slipped to the floor when he was not holding it firmly, the screen was torn apart in an instant, and the screen went black.

Lu Jingshen picked up the phone, but no matter how hard he pressed it, there was no response.

The deep powerlessness and frustration made him fall back on the bed, and closed his eyes slumped.