your name

Many years ago, there was also a person who said to Zuo Zhengyi, "It's important to be yourself."

It's his grandma.

That was eight years ago.

One day, 11-year-old Zuo Zhengyi came home from school and found an old lady standing at the door of her house. Be careful with every move.

Her hair was white, she had half dentures, her waist was slightly bent, and she spoke with a foreign accent, calling him: "Are you Zuo Zhengyi?"

Zuo Zhengyi couldn't understand such a strong dialect, and he didn't know where she was from, so he was a little puzzled: "Did you call me?"

The old lady held a photo in her hand, looked at the photo, looked at him, and confirmed his identity after comparing, she rolled her eyes with a relieved smile, and said, "Zhengyi, I am your grandma."

"Ah." Zuo Zhengyi responded, and subconsciously tightened the straps of his schoolbag, avoiding the old lady's hand.The latter didn't tell him to hide, but grabbed his shoulders and stared at his face carefully.

"You look like grandpa." She just laughed, and suddenly wiped away her tears, her eyes were full of the adults' thoughts, and the tears reflected his confusion and helplessness.

At that time, Zuo Zhengyi had just driven away his father who took money to send him away, so he didn't have a good impression of his father's house.

But the old man was different, she cried and smiled and pulled his hand lovingly, as if she liked him very much, Zuo Zhengyi suddenly became nervous.

Ji Jue went to school with Zuo Zhengyi every day, watching him make out with the old lady, his eyes full of vigilance.

At that time, Ji Jue was very exclusive, and Zuo Zhengyi knew it.

But the old lady stayed in Tanzhou Island for a week and almost spoiled Zuo Zhengyi to heaven, and Ji Jue followed suit and ate a lot of delicious food.

Although Zuo Zhengyi is only 11 years old, he is young and precocious, and thinks a lot.

One afternoon, he asked, "Grandma, why did you come to see me?"

The old lady hesitated and said, "I want to take you home."

"..."

Zuo Zhengyi immediately clenched his hands tightly, even his neck was a little stiff.He was tense, and this tension was complex, like a mixture of anticipation, worry and fear. He couldn't tell what he was feeling, but he knew that the decision of the old man opposite him was likely to change his life.

But then, the old man suddenly sighed and said it was a pity, "I can't be the master."

She hugged Zuo Zhengyi and cried for a while, telling the reason why she came from the beginning to the end.

She said that she lived with Zuo Zhengyi's father, who was her own son, but his son and daughter-in-law treated her badly.

Of course, it's not bad, it's just a normal way of getting along. Like the neglected or rejected elders in most families, she maintains a superficial harmony with them, but it feels like she's living under the fence.

Because she has to rely on them for support, it is inevitable that she is a bit inferior.Last year, she also suffered from a serious illness, and the treatment cost 10,000+. Since then, she has confirmed her status as the family's "oil bottle".

The grandson is also not close to her.

That boy was older than Zuo Zhengyi, and he was already in high school eight years ago. He was rebellious in his adolescence, spoiled by his mother, and had a rather bad personality.

Every time she took the initiative to try to get close to her grandson, she was rejected, and she didn't dare to move forward after too many times.

She's like the edge of the family.

It wasn't until she heard her son and daughter-in-law quarrel over the topics of "affairs" and "illegitimate children" that she knew that there was another child living outside.

She interjected: "Why don't you bring the child back? How old is it? Who will raise him?"

The son was silent, and the daughter-in-law turned the table and told her to get out, get out with her son, and "divorce".

The old lady trembled and regretted saying the wrong thing.

If they divorced and the family fell apart, it might be her fault.

Although she didn't seem to do anything, her son and daughter-in-law glared at her angrily, as if she was the one who cheated in the field.

She didn't fall asleep all night, but the next day she had a whim and decided to go see the child she had never seen before.

She felt that she was a bit like him, both marginal and unwelcome.

But at least she's his grandma and can give him a little love.

That being said, this sentence is actually ironic.

She wants that child to love her.

Zuo Zhengyi did love her, the only relative he loved in his life was grandma.

Although they didn't get along for a long time, she was kind and gentle, always looked at him with a smile, helped him carry his schoolbag, prepared delicious food, forgave all his mistakes, and relied on him very much.

It seems a bit strange to say this, but it is true that 11-year-old Xiao Zhengyi feels that he is relied on by his grandma.

He didn't know that much, but he vaguely guessed that she might not be treated well at home, maybe because she was worried that no one would take care of her when she got old, so she wanted to have a good relationship with her grandson so that someone would take care of her in the future.

Zuo Zhengyi's pure mind can only think of this secular, almost utilitarian reason that adults are talking about.

But he didn't think her "utility" was bad, he patted himself on the shoulder, and said proudly, "Grandma, why don't you stay, I'll support you."

She shook her head.

Zuo Zhengyi said, "I'm very good at making money!"

She still shook her head, and said something like "The school on Tanzhou Island is poor", "The teachers are not good enough", "What will you do in the future", and then her eyes were full of sorrow, and she said "Forget it", "Can you be safe and healthy?" Just grow up"...

At that time, Zuo Zhengyi was confused, and when she appeared in the dream, those words became even more vague.

She said: "Zhengyi is really a powerful kid, he is more sensible than his peers."

She said: "Zhengyi must always be brave, always be yourself, and don't be changed by the environment."

She also said: "But you have to be smart, don't be bullied..."

When Zuo Zhengyi was 14 years old, she died.

He didn't know it at the time because they hadn't been in touch since they separated.

For some reason, Zuo Zhengyi couldn't get through the phone number she left behind.

When she left, she said, "I'll find a way to bring you back," and she broke her promise.

Zuo Zhengyi didn't see his grandma for the last time.

Even after a whole year of her death, it was only later that she learned that the only person in this world who loved him was gone.

Zuo Zhengyi cried bitterly in his dream, tears streaming down his face.

At three o'clock in the morning, he was woken up by himself crying, and walked into the bathroom to wash his face in a trance.

The person in the mirror had red eyes and swollen eye sockets. He stared at himself for a few minutes, feeling a little strange.

It seems to have really grown up.

He hadn't cried like this in years.

The current mood is not so sad, time will dissolve the sadness, leaving only strong regret in my heart.

Zuo Zhengyi couldn't fall asleep anymore, so he washed up, changed his clothes, and went downstairs to play games.

His teammates were all sleeping, and he was the only one in the training room on the second floor.

He started the game, built a room in the game, and used Garan to practice replenishing soldiers.Mechanical training can relieve stress. He emptied his mind while operating, and was in a daze unconsciously. He didn't know when the sky would be bright.

Around seven o'clock, there was still no one in the training room.

Zuo Zhengyi was a little sleepy, pushed away the mouse and keyboard, stretched, and decided to take a nap in the lounge.

I slept for an hour this time, and at around eight o'clock, there was noise outside the door.

Zuo Zhengyi lay on the sofa, covered his face with a pillow, frowned displeasedly, and turned over.

It was Fu Yong's voice, his voice was so loud that it could be heard five miles away, and he said: "Hey! The coach came back so early!"

"Yeah." Zheng Mao responded, "I still have to train."

Fu Yong grinned and said, "Training is not in a hurry. How was last night? Tell us who have never seen the world..."

Zheng Mao is a serious person-on the surface.He pushed Fu Yong and said seriously: "What nonsense, I just had a meal with Mr. Xu."

"..."

what?What are they talking about?

Zuo Zhengyi sat up, rubbed his sleepy neck, and shouted out the door: "Cai Yong, come in, give me a shoulder beat."

It's like ordering a maid.

"Maid girl" Fu Yong suddenly pushed open the door of the lounge with bitterness and hatred on his face, extremely reluctant, and said to Zuo Zhengyi, "You're endless, right? I'm not your slave."

Zuo Zhengyi's face remained unchanged, he gave Fu Yong a wink, motioned him to close the door, and then hooked his fingers at him.

Fu Yong might have been PUAed by this princess. Although he was not happy on the surface, he obediently walked in front of the princess and waited for him to show him.

Zuo Zhengyi lowered his voice and asked quietly: "What are you talking about with Zheng Mao? What was last night?"

"..." Fu Yong rolled his eyes, "I thought you were going to ask something important, you were sneaky. It was just that Zheng Mao and Xu Zongping went out together last night. They had a room outside and didn't come back all night."

"?" Zuo Zhengyi opened his eyes wide, "What did you say?"

Fu Yong suspected that he could not understand Chinese, so he had to translate it into a simpler language: "The two of them are going to do health care together, understand?"

Zuo Zhengyi: "...Oh."

startle him.

He thought that Zheng Mao was under the unspoken rules of Xu Zongping.

It's all the fault of the gay man on WeChat, who misled his brain circuit.

Fu Yong glanced at Zuo Zhengyi: "You don't know what big health care is, do you?"

"I'm not stupid." Zuo Zhengyi snorted coldly, "Disgusting."

Fu Yong knew that this sentence was not scolding him. It was rare for him to reach an agreement with Zuo Zhengyi, and said in a low voice: "Although I am curious, but... I think it is better to have a serious relationship. My girlfriend is so cute. If I Go out whoring, she will be sad."

"Are you reconciled?"

When Zuo Zhengyi asked, Fu Yong immediately laughed triumphantly: "Yeah, I didn't expect that? Hehe."

Zuo Zhengyi: "..."

Mentally handicapped teammates always have the joy of being mentally handicapped, Zuo Zhengyi is willing to bow down.He went downstairs to have some breakfast, and returned to the training room to continue practicing knives.

The life of a professional player is very boring. Behind every great victory is endless training.No matter how his mood fluctuates, he dreams of someone who makes him sad, when he sits in front of the computer, he has to forget everything and concentrate on being a swordsman.

The game schedule is posted on the computer desk.

Just finished playing Lion, the next opponent of WSND is Scorpion.

Frankly speaking, Zuo Zhengyi has no pressure. If Scorpion still maintains the state of confusion in the previous game, he can't think of how to lose WSND.

But at the thought of a disciplinary decision, Zuo Zhengyi's mood became a little delicate.

And he suddenly remembered another thing - the last time they were sheltering from the rain together under the eaves, Ji Jue lent him his coat, but he kept forgetting to return it.

Zuo Zhengyi opened Weibo, clicked on Righting's homepage, and sent Ji Jue a private message:

"When are you free? Come out and meet, and return your clothes."

--------------------

Ga (qié) blue

In addition, big health care is a cryptic term for whoring, and I found that some readers did not understand it, so I hereby explain it.