Full marks

108, the exit of Jingang, you look around

On October 2000, 10, at Jingang Railway Station, Lan Tian's mother, Lan Fang, Lan Fang's boyfriend Zhang Yang, Lan Tu, and Lan Tu's girlfriend Ye Yu, welcomed Lan Tian back home after graduation.

In the past four years, she has not been back even once, and no one knows what kind of experience she has had in the four years.She had already seen her sister and mother, but she didn't quicken her pace, and kept looking around the exit...

No one knows whether Jingang will be a place for Lantian to heal, a place to start again, or something else.Standing in front of her mother, when did the tears start to fill her eyes, looking at her mother, and listening to all directions, she was still looking forward to someone's voice... She smiled at her mother with tears in her eyes, and became more and more desperate. ...has literally disappeared from her life...

It took her four years to learn to admit the facts in front of her today, and she may have found a way, so she quickly dried up her tears, smiled faintly at everyone, and said she was back.

It’s just that Lan Fang and Ye Yu all knew clearly when they received a letter from Lan Tian saying that they would return to Jingang Hospital a few months ago. She still lives in that memory because she gave up the professor’s recommendation to stay in school and also gave up The high-paying employment of Shanghai First Hospital gave up the same preference for foreign professors and wanted to keep her from staying abroad forever to become a British citizen.

Just because she wants to come back to Jingang City, which she loves most. Here is the mother she cares about the most. Here is the place closest to the person in her heart. She may never forget a person's name—"Shusha", she may Still haven't believed in the wedding between Sha Ying and Sun Qian, the ring around her neck and the small bottle filled with sand are still hanging, but at this moment, someone really didn't show up, her tears are despair, her smile , may also be laughing at himself.

Sitting in Zhang Yang's car, she looked out of the window. Jingang has undergone earth-shaking changes. Her home has been demolished and moved to a newly built community. A car of people scrambled to explain the bustling place. It was just the blue sky. When she saw Lan Fang and Ye Yu, she missed her more and more violently. In those years, the years spent together, my sister and Xiao Yu saw her and Ye Yu alone. love... So, she suppressed, echoed, and smiled faintly.

At the table in the hotel room, my sister and mother asked her to drink some wine. She was so happy today, she still insisted on ordering a glass of orange juice. Lan Fang and Ye Yu noticed that she was eating very meticulously, not at all like the blue sky four years ago. Those brilliant small round eyes seem to lose focus wherever they look, their demeanor is humble and elegant, and there is a trace of sadness in their expression that can't be wiped off to this day. Fortunately, the pair of brackets are still there.

Is she still blaming her sister?Is she regretting the lie she told back then?What did she come back to this small city of Golden Port really for her mother?Lan Fang and Ye Yu at the table paid close attention to her minute by minute. It can be seen that her heart is no longer on this table, so where is it?Is it still abroad?Or went to Beijing at all?

In the evening, Lan Tian sat on the sofa of Lan Fang's house on the fourth floor and chatted with everyone. At nine o'clock, he went back to his home on the sixth floor and said goodbye to Ye Yu very simply.

Ye Yu couldn't find a reason to follow Lan Tian's house, so he lingered at Lan Tu's house, and at ten o'clock he still made up his mind to let Lan Tu send her home.

After going downstairs, I turned my head and looked up at the window of the room on the sixth floor, and a figure of blue sky flashed by.

Sitting in the car, he said it was still early and asked Lantu to accompany her to the bar.

When Lan Fang came to Lan Tian's room, she and Zhang Yang had already prepared all the computer and network cables for her in the morning.

"How about this computer? The configuration is very good so far, it should be enough for you."

"Heh... I didn't expect my sister to buy me a computer."

"There is also a USB flash drive here, for you."

"Thank you."

"You can't be polite to your sister."

"Oh, heh... I..."

Maybe after four years of separation, the two sisters don't have a good understanding of each other, and they don't even know each other anymore, but Lan Fang can't accept this distance. She still loves this sister, but she is in love with Zhang Yang. She wants more things in her heart. , or this younger sister, besides, she has been blaming herself for ruining her sister's very sincere relationship. She hopes that they can return to the past and open up their hearts when they come back this time.

"...Are you... still blaming my sister?"

"...how could it be? No, Xiaotian...will never blame my sister, no matter what she does."

Finding that her younger sister still loves her as before, Lan Fangshu raised her brows and smiled out of Yuewan with a very familiar look.

"Really?"

"Well, in this world, sister, mother, and Xiaoyu are absolutely the best for Xiaotian."

How did you get to Xiaoyu?I must have wanted to say Sha Ying, but I couldn't say it out, but it made Lan Fang feel uncomfortable, so I stepped forward to hug her...

"Even if my sister is really sorry for you, can you please understand my sister for the sake of auntie? It's been four years, don't let yourself live in the past, your surname is Lan, think about our Lan family, happiness is not only one See, she will live well, even if we haven't heard from her all these years, she just wants to avoid you on purpose, understand her heart, okay? She did nothing wrong. "

don't want to mention her...

When I mentioned her, my heart was very tired and hurt, but I also knew that my sister must have been blaming herself.

"Sister... don't talk about it, Xiaotian understands, she is married, so there is nothing to say, I will not blame anyone, if I want to blame, I will blame myself."

"But--"

Interrupting Lan Fang: "Don't worry, I'm fine. As you can see, I came back with many honors, and I am not weak. My sister really doesn't need to worry or feel guilty. In Xiaotian's heart, there is no difference between my sister and my mother." Both hands clutched Lan Fang's back.

"Okay, my sister has Xiaotian's words, so I feel more at ease."

"Sister, I...I want to see the dean tomorrow."

Lan Fang thought she had misheard and immediately looked at Lan Tian: "So fast? Can you rest for a few more days?"

"No, there's no need, I'll go tomorrow."

"Oh, then, go to the courtyard with my sister tomorrow."

"Ah."

She didn't want to waste time, and she didn't want to spend even a day in Jingang.

The next day, I came to the hospital with my sister, and the dean met Lan Tian in person. Although there are capable people in the hospital, they are highly educated and have heard that she has new theories and achievements in brain surgery before graduation. With two years of clinical experience, the dean attaches great importance to it, and he can fill the gap in Jingang Brain Surgery from now on.Ye Yu and Lan Fang are both in the orthopedics department and gynecology department of this hospital.

Zhuo Chongyou, the vice president of this hospital, may have some help from his family background. At 35 years old, he already has a pivotal position in this hospital. He is not only a brain surgery doctor, but also the administrative work of the entire hospital. , but he doesn't speak much, unless work requires him, he never takes the initiative to communicate with doctors and nurses, 1.7 meters eight is very well-proportioned, with a straight nose and a square mouth, looking at his eyes, you will feel very peaceful, very practical, double eyelids It is very inconspicuous, the corners of his mouth are always smiling kindly, and he can’t see that he takes good care of his ordinary three to seven point hairstyle. When he comes to work, he will make people feel like a talkative civil servant. People especially talk about it, but at first glance, he is mature and handsome. He doesn't look suitable for a relationship, but he will be the best marriage partner, but he is still unmarried. He has seen countless women, and none of them are satisfied. , but people can't figure out his real preferences.

After the dean talked with Lan Tian, ​​Vice President Zhuo began to take Lan Tian to familiarize himself with various departments of the hospital. Perhaps he had admired her very much since seeing Lan Tian's photos and various materials. There are many people who have searched for her thousands of Baidu feelings, and have infinite affection for Lan Tian.

The office for Lan Tian had already been prepared by the hospital a month ago. Ye Yulanfang carefully designed and furnished it for her within the permission of the dean. The single photo of Lan Tian in the photo frame on the desk was from Ye Yu when Lan Tian was in college. The photo for her was youthful and sunny, but she never looked at the camera. Lan Tian picked it up and looked at herself. The smile she had when she was talking with Vice President Zhuo was a little stiff at the moment because she was facing the photo.

Unpacking the beautifully packaged box on the table, inside was a white porcelain cup with a lid. On the porcelain cup was a group photo of her and Lanfang Yeyu when they were in college. This was a gift from Ye Yu to Lan Tian.On the card in the cup read:

"sky:

The days without you are lacking a lot.I miss the college life of the three of us, it is a memory that I want to treasure for the rest of my life, together with Xiao Xiaoyu.

Welcome back!

Xiaoyu"

Open another beautifully packaged small box, which is a very beautiful Parker pen. The small card in the box reads:

"Xiao Tian:

My sister misses you and worries about you for four years with guilt, and I hope that you have really settled some things in these four years.Can you not make my sister really regret it?

Welcome back!

elder sister"

"Lan Fang and Ye Yu are also your classmates in college, right?" Vice President Zhuo sat on the sofa and wanted to know more about Lan Tian with great interest.

"Yes, together in Shanghai for four years."

"I heard a lot about you. Your school introduced you to us. Your professor is very optimistic about you. Seeing you today, huh... I also feel the same way."

"Heh... the professor favors me, and I will do my best to work for the academy."

"How? This office?"

"very good, thanks."

"Don't be polite, I wish us a happy cooperation!" Vice President Zhuo stretched out his right hand, his eyes were sincere, and he seemed to be full of hope for the future.

When it was time to get off work, Ye Yulanfang got all dressed and ran to Lantian's office, laughing and walking her to the garage, while Lantu was already waiting beside Ye Yu's car.

"Your brother Atu is very punctual." Lan Fang smiled and said.

"He's not your brother." Ye Yu's eyes, from Lantu's body, don't go in another direction.

Lantu smiled and opened the door of the co-pilot, and then the door of the back seat. When Ye Yu hesitated whether to sit in the front or the back, Lan Fang and Lan Tian had already got into the back seat of the car. Although three people could sit in the car, Lan Fang did not give up. Considering the location, it seems that I shouldn't squeeze the back seat, so I sat on the co-pilot with some disappointment, listening to Lan Tian's conversation with her sister in the back, and when I turned around, I saw Lan Fang hugging Lan Tian's waist , with his forehead leaning against Lan Tian's face, very intimate.

Ye Yu faintly felt a kind of loneliness that had been rediscovered.At what point in her life has she and the blueprint seemed to be settled, it seems that there is no change, as if she has already recognized it, but she is very clear about her specious emotions towards the blueprint, the occasional "love" with the blueprint, It's more like an adult playing with the body, which has nothing to do with many.Her love is like a trickle under a rock, and only she knows the pulse and direction of the flow. During this growth, she never imagined that she would perform a one-man show over and over again. Looking out the window at this moment, her heart is still tired of being in the back seat...

I have been busy adapting to this hospital, busy with work arrangements, time flies so fast, and the weekend is coming soon. In the early morning, Lan Tian finished his sword practice and drank the porridge cooked by his mother. His heart and steps were thinking about the Yangtze River...

After passing the fourth floor, she didn't say hello to Lan Fang and Ye Yu, she took the bus to Sha Ying's hometown alone.

Four years ago, in December, she flew to England, and the weather was very cold at that time. Was it because she had a good memory?She has not forgotten a little bit, such as this road, this direction, seems to be tattooed on her body...

The poplar trees beside the road were blown yellow leaves by the autumn wind. The former gravel road has been poured into a wider concrete road, and the bus has also been replaced with a new one. I still remember that many years ago, she rode a bicycle with her Rusha to the road. Going in this direction, peaked caps in summer, scarves in winter... all the way is beautiful...

Those years that I can never go back...

I don’t know how much has changed. My sister said that her home is still by the Yangtze River. Her younger brother must have grown taller. I don’t know if my grandma is in good health. I don’t know how many times she has been back.

But... Lan Tian's home has changed places...

Swish... I'm back in Golden Port, I don't want to go anywhere... This Golden Port, this road... Do you remember...

Passing through this small town, at a glance, no matter how many changes there are, it still retains the shadow of the past. It is still as prosperous as before, and the unique dialect of this small riverside town can be heard in her ears, but she can't find that figure in the crowd. , that face, when life can become rich, when she is still free, her heart is as a prison, living in the past time, everything in front of her is also a fluff.

Walking to the bank of the Yangtze River, I saw Sha Ying's house from a distance. If God favored this relationship, would I be able to see her today? This kind of thinking has become extravagant today, and it is no longer possible. She and Sun Qian Must have been in Beijing.

Walking to Sha Ying's house, the big yellow dog barked at Lan Tian, ​​and Lan Tian looked at the dog, this is not Sha Ying's rhubarb, where is the big yellow?

This dog looked at Lan Tian standing still, or maybe seeing Lan Tian opened his eyes but his face was full of tears. She was not like outsiders. She was also golden. It stopped barking and made a creaking sound. It stepped back, Sha Ying Grandma, with gray hair and severely emaciated body, walked out slowly with her back bowed, and with her old voice...

"Who?" She was looking at how much vision was left in her cloudy eyes, but it seemed that she wanted to see what was going on, maybe she was also thinking about a very cute child, "You are? Xiaotian?"

Lan Tian walked towards grandma with a smile, and put the things in her hands on the ground: "Grandma, I'm Xiaotian, and I'm here to see you."

"God!!"

"Grandma! I'm back, I haven't seen you for a long time, how are you?"

"Tian'er! You don't want a grandma anymore, do you? You and Yinger don't want a grandma anymore! Do you?" She grabbed Lan Tian's hand, as if she couldn't believe it was true.

"Grandma...it's Xiaotian's fault, it's Xiaotian's fault."

"Tian'er! Where's my Yinger? Why didn't you go with her? She said you went abroad, and then she stayed in Beijing and married Sun Qian when she said she was married. What's going on? I don’t even understand why my Ying’er married so quickly? Grandma is so sad! God! Tell grandma quickly!”

What did this old man remember?

"Grandma...Grandma..." She explained painfully, "It's Xiaotian's fault, Xiaotian... separated from her..."

"Why?! Do you know how much my Yinger likes you? Even if she wants to marry, she will only hate you for not being a young man! Even if she wants to marry, she will want to play with you for a few more years, how is it possible Marry Sun Qian as soon as she graduates? Grandma doesn't understand! Tianer!!"

Walking into Sha Ying's house, Sha Ying's room, the tears were even more disobedient...

She was familiar with this place, and felt that it had become a stranger all the way in. The house had been refurbished, the walls were built, the dining table was changed, and chairs were added, but this room seemed to be the only one that hadn't changed. It was still the same pink flannel curtains. , the two pairs of blue slippers that were worn together, a piece of paper with Sha Ying’s name on it under the glass of the writing desk, and the rusty alarm clock with round ears has stopped, staying at [-]:[-] on an unknown day, It's still just a pillow, and on the stacked quilt, sits a big doraemon...

She brought the doraemon back...

If it has already passed, why leave it like this, why not destroy it thoroughly!

"Do you know how much my Yinger likes you? Even if she wants to marry, she will only hate you for not being a young man! Even if she wants to marry, she will want to play with you for a few more years. How could she marry you as soon as she graduates?" Sun Qian married?"

Holding this doraemon into my arms, sitting on this bed, I can't stop cutting the previous picture in my mind... I looked away from the closet, walked over and opened the second drawer, the pajamas and shorts she wore, their first once... still...

She no longer has the strength to push that drawer back...

There are voices in time...

"You! You don't want to or don't understand!"

"If you don't want me in the future, I won't be able to live."

"I won't want you!"

"Don't do that to anyone else either."

"Sandsha can't think about these things, Xiaotian only has Shasha in his heart."

She hugged the doraemon sitting on the bed and shaking it, just like shaking a person...

She heard grandma's weak beeping, as if calling her, so she had to wipe away her tears and come to grandma's room. Grandma carefully took out a box from the drawer, opened the box, and there was a CD in it.

"Tian'er, come on, help me put this into this machine and open it for me. There are all Yinger's dances in it. Let's watch it together, ah."

"Eh."

She came over to pick up the CD, and saw that it was written with a marker: "Forget you, I can't do it" in Sha Ying's handwriting. She excitedly put the CD into the VCD that grandma cared for. , "Half Life", "Love is Like a Tide", "Falling Flowers", "Special Love for a Special You" performed by Sha Ying in various venues, etc., as well as Lantian's never-watched " "Forget You, I Can't Do It", everything from the past came to mind. On the day of the wedding of that person on TV, it was raining heavily in Shanghai. When she heard this song... she completely collapsed.

Since you can't forget, why must you forget?can you come backI'm still in the same place, never go away, rustle, should I come to Beijing to find you?

She didn't get Sha Ying's specific address and phone number from her grandma, because grandma didn't know, and she didn't see Sha Ying's younger brother, nor her parents. The dog turned out to be Rhubarb's son.

The autumn river wind is extremely cold today. Do the sporadic fishermen still use the same net from back then?Not far away, clumps of reeds that form a forest sea bloom again in this season, swaying in the wind, living by the water, under the twilight of the setting sun, "she" has a whirling figure, like a person who grew up here...

The past...

Holding a handful of sand in her hand, she stood by the river, her lips were chapped, and the pair of brackets disappeared without a trace...