Night Labyrinth

Sunday, July 2013, 3

Sure enough, I should have thought of it.

I had a premonition yesterday when I suddenly called in the studio to ask me to go back.

The atmosphere since the winter vacation, the experience of the past 20 years.

I should have expected this day to come, didn't I?

I actually know it's better for each of them, it's better for everyone in this family, and I've thought about it a long time ago.

Only now that it is really about to happen, I realize that there is a difference between reality and imagination.

I feel resistance from the bottom of my heart, I don't want them to be separated, even if they are only barely together.

I know it's selfish to think that way, and I know how hard it has been for my mom these years.

But what should I do, I am very sad, very sad.

From now on, I still have my mother and my father, but I have no home anymore.

From now on I will only be myself.

It suddenly occurred to me that my mother has been asking me if I have a boyfriend and urging me to get married this year.

In fact, they are all preparing for this.

Now that my sister is getting married, they can't wait too.

But what if I get married?

Wouldn't it be divorced after marriage?

Nothing in this world is permanent.

I don't believe in anything.

Going to do the formalities tomorrow.

I am left alone.

Saturday, January 2013, 3

Tomorrow is the last class in the studio.

After learning the basics of sketching, it's time for me to concentrate on finishing the thesis.

Alas, even the last piece of paradise is lost.

I am about to bid farewell to the studio, my childhood dreams, and Lu Fei.

After that, prepare for defense and graduation, and then what?

Where am I going?

Let's go south.

Get out of the city.

It would be nice if I never came back.

Where's Lu Fei?

What should Lu Fei do?

Just keep being friends like this.

During the winter vacation, I thought about whether to try to like her, whether to try to date her, but she will never know about it.

That's okay, only the relationship of friends is the most stable.

Relatively speaking.

They won't become strangers once they break up.

Monday, March 2013, 4

It's two o'clock in the morning, but I can't sleep.

Today Lu Fei wanted to confess his love to me, but I stopped him.

I didn't expect this day to come so early, it was a bit sudden.

In fact, it will always be like this, but I have been deliberately ignoring it.

Could she finally take it too?

Finally wanted to make it clear to me.

When I came out of the studio, I felt that she was bored, and I had some premonitions in my heart, so I tried to tell her some funny things.

She also smiled at me cooperatively, but I could feel her perfunctory.

Finally, when she was almost at school, she still said it out, and she asked me, "He Lin, have you ever liked anyone?"

I said no, and then I saw the disappointment in her eyes that I didn't have time to hide.

She asked again that it was impossible.

I asked her what it felt like.

She told me that liking means thinking about it when you can't see it, thinking about it when you see it, and wanting to meet again as soon as we parted.I will pay attention to each other's every move, pay attention to likes and dislikes, and a random action of the other party will make a lot of associations, guessing whether it is related to me.

I thought, is that how she pays attention to me?

Then she asked me if I thought of anyone I liked because of it.

Like, what a hypocritical word.

Then I blurted out that I didn't intend to like anyone, and I didn't have the right to like anyone.

Probably my tone was a bit tough, Lu Fei immediately panicked, she said how could she not be qualified, she said I was excellent.

I looked at her expression eager to comfort me but mocked in my heart that you will never understand.

Then she said, "Let me tell you how you make me feel."

I nodded to let her speak.

She said that I was indifferent, polite, and distant, and when I was focused, I seemed to be the only one in the world.

She was right, as expected, I am such a person.

But hearing her say that, I felt a little disappointed.

Then she said that I have a nice voice, a good personality, good grades, and can draw, she said in one breath, expressing eagerly.

I was amused by her, I said thank you, I know, and then I told her that my mother also said that I have a good voice before.

But like "Night Breeze" is the first time I've heard of it.

Then she told me that I must find my own happiness, saying that she believes that I will meet someone I like.

For this sentence, I subconsciously wanted to ridicule, and I did, and I said, "Happiness or something, it's too fake."

Then, as if I couldn't control it, I told her that I don't know how to fall in love, and I don't believe in love, and told her that when I saw a loving couple on campus, I was thinking childishly.

And she was really stunned, she could only ask one sentence for a long time, she said, "Why? But you are not happy like this."

Are you happy?

That kind of luxury may not belong to me in the first place.

I say probably because of the family environment.

Having said that, I thought maybe I should make it clear to her.

Just say it all clearly, and all the entanglements and twists and turns will be over.

So I said to her, I told you you don't tell anyone.

Without the slightest hesitation, Lu Fei immediately agreed.

I saw her solemn and eager to know what I said next, and I believed she would keep it a secret from me.

So I told her about those indifferent and hopeless pasts.

I saw her expression change a little bit, from initial curiosity to surprise to sadness to heartache.

Then she asked me where I am now, and asked if I hated my dad?

I told her that I don't hate her now, but the scars are still there after the injury is healed. I asked her if she understood?

She nodded with a vague understanding.

I told her so all I wanted was a family and a good life.

Then she started crying.

I know, she gets what I mean.

Seeing her tears, I felt distressed inexplicably, and raised my hand to wipe it off.

But I immediately realized that I couldn't do this. Since I already wanted to make it clear to her and let her quit in spite of difficulties, I didn't want to do extra things.

So I just joked, "Why are you crying? Others thought I did something to you when they saw it."

She smiled cooperatingly, tried her best to hold back her tears and said to me, "What can you do to me!" But I knew she was smiling reluctantly.

It's over like this, and then I told her that when looking for a boyfriend in the future, I must find someone who is approved by my family, and my parents take a longer view than us.

In fact, I felt a little lonely when I said this, but I will give you all suggestions in the end, after all, I also hope her well.

She cried again, and I felt sad too, so I said it was cold, let's go back.

But she held on to my painting and refused to let go, so I said, then I will take you back.

In fact, there is not much distance between the two dormitory buildings, and soon we were standing downstairs.

She asked me what to do in the future?

I said I would leave the city.

Then she asked me what about my family?

I said I couldn't care less.

I will be the only one left in the future, what kind of family will I have?

She still didn't want to go back, and asked my sister again.

I think my sister will not have much to do with me in the future.

But I just say she is a cold person.

I felt a little distressed when I saw Luffy's hair messed up by the night wind, and wanted to let her go back to the dormitory as soon as possible.

But she was the first to say that she would send me back, and after she finished speaking, she turned and walked towards my dormitory building, and did not stop until she reached the entrance of the hall.

I took my painting from her, told her to go back, and then wanted to enter the hall.

Lu Fei suddenly stretched out his hand to me. At that moment, the reality and the memory of Shen Xueer from a few years ago suddenly overlapped, and I subconsciously took a step back.

Lu Fei's hand paused for a moment, but then he insisted on putting it on my shoulder.

She said again, "You must be happy."

I didn't taunt this time, I knew she meant it, so I said "I will".

I will work hard to be "happy", but it may be different from what she understands.

Freedom and tranquility are the happiness I want.

After I finished speaking, I turned around, and she also took her hand off my shoulder.

"Go back," I said, and I stepped on the threshold of the hall.

I felt that Lu Fei didn't move, so I turned around, and sure enough, she was still standing there.

It suddenly occurred to me that every time before, she also looked at me and left first, until she couldn't see my back?

My heart softened suddenly, and I said, "You have to keep drawing, I'm still waiting for you to surpass me."

And she immediately told me in a very firm tone that she would, and then said goodbye.

I don't know if this is a promise, and I don't know if I should give her this promise.

But that's it, I turned around and went back to the bedroom.

I packed up, washed up, made my bed, and said nothing to anyone, like nothing had happened.

I don't know what will happen to Lu Fei when he returns to the dormitory, whether he will cry, whether he will cry to his roommate.

But it's over anyway.

She must have understood what I mean, and we should be able to be good friends.

Monday, March 2013, 4

Idiot, say sorry.

I don't want to hear you say "I'm sorry"!

You have nothing to do to me.

If I say it, I say I'm sorry.

What an idiot!

Saturday, January 2013, 5

I haven't seen Lu Fei for more than a month.

She never looked for me again, and I had no reason to look for her.

Sure enough, it's over after all those words are said.

She also left.

Emotions are such a fragile thing.

I used to wonder if I could continue to be friends, but now it seems that time has given me the answer.

But just now I saw her again.

When I came out of the library, I saw the back of the stairs and saw her standing there holding a wet umbrella and looking around.

There was a sudden burst of excitement in my heart, followed by jealousy, jealousy that she gave umbrellas to others, and then overwhelming panic.

Song Qian also saw her, and went straight to say hello.

At this moment, a classmate suddenly called, and I quickly picked it up, then took advantage of the gap and walked directly past Lu Fei.

I don't want to hear her say who she is giving the umbrella to, and I don't want to chat with her pretending to be okay, and I don't want to be so awkward that I don't know what to say.

So I chose to go straight over.

Song Qian was chatting with her, and I stood in the hall with my back turned to the door to answer the phone.

But my heart was so confused that I didn't hear what was said on the phone.

In fact, it was just chatting, without saying a few words, and I just desperately wanted to distract myself.

During the period, I looked at Song Qian and waved her to go downstairs quickly.

I tried my best to keep my eyes on Song Qian, but I still saw Lu Fei looking at me out of the corner of my eye.

I felt sad for a while, and quickly turned around and continued to call, but I became more and more irritable and didn't know what to say.

Finally Song Qian came down from upstairs, I didn't dare to look back, hung up the phone and quickly got into the umbrella and walked out of the library with her.

We sat in the cafeteria to eat, and I felt very hungry, but I couldn't eat at all.

Actually, I still care about Lu Fei.

In fact, I still hate her.

When I came back from the bathroom just now, I saw a missed call on my phone, which was from Lu Fei.

I don't know what she wants to say to me, and I dare not reply.

Maybe she still wants to make it clear to me?

But it was only called once, and there was no text message, so it shouldn't be a very important matter.

Or did she just accidentally dial the wrong number?

That's it, I'm afraid I'll be even more confused when I get back.

Monday, March 2013, 6

I saw Lu Fei when I went to eat just now.

I went to the cafeteria, and she went to the dormitory.

I was just thinking about whether I would meet her, when she suddenly turned her head and turned around.

Then just missed it.

Then there is no more text.

And I suddenly felt distressed at the moment she turned her head without hesitation.

Has she stopped pestering me?

Has she completely given up on me?

Obviously this is the result I wanted before, but now that it has really come true, why is it so uncomfortable?

Can we really not even be friends?

I have always teased others, why am I so serious about it now?

How can I ask so many what's wrong?

Oh, I am really sick.

I'm graduating soon, so it's time for this to end.

I admit that I am reluctant.

Even if she can only stay with me for one season, I can't bear it.

Wednesday, July 2013, 7

I don't know what to start with, so let's start from the beginning.

After the college entrance examination in 2009, I insisted on filling in the Chinese language and literature major in the Chinese Department.Then at the beginning of September, I entered this school that brought me a lot of happiness and sentimentality.

At that time, I only had one idea - study, study hard!Give it a go!

Because of the pressure of the future, the high tuition fees, the difficult mother... In short, I want to cherish it.

And I did.

In my freshman year, I did things that I never did in high school, such as previewing before class, reviewing after class, and carefully sorting out the notes of each subject, no matter it is an actual professional class or useless nonsense.

I work so hard, just to prove that I can, just to open a new page hard, so as to stay away from the past as much as possible.

Later, I really won the National Encouragement Scholarship with the ranking of the first in all majors.I got my wish.

Some of them are moving in the direction I set, but I am getting confused in the day-to-day study.

Many things happened in the sophomore year. Some roommates fell in love, and some took part-time jobs; some feelings became stronger, and some conflicts finally broke out.Those who should be together are finally together, and those who have been separated are also separated.

And I only did one thing, maintain the status quo.

Then came the junior year, the deeper the confusion, the clearer the fear hidden behind.

I don't know what to do, but I decided to fulfill a long-standing dream - to learn art.

I didn't intend to make a career out of it, I just thought it would mark a beginning, a turning point, the first step on a certain path.

I met Lu Fei through Song Qian's introduction.From then on, the two of them went to the studio every weekend together.

The teacher is very responsible, and I am also very serious. Under her guidance, I have made rapid progress.

Sometimes I sit still for five or six hours in a row, drawing a painting meticulously until my shoulders are sore.

It wasn't until later that I gradually discovered Lu Fei's secret feelings for me... a lot of things changed.

I tried my best to ignore and suppress it, and I told myself that love is a boring and false thing, and happiness is out of reach.

I pretended to be indifferent, but my heart became more and more anxious.

This anxiety even covered up my fear of the future, but I didn't notice it at the time.

The senior year finally came, and the oppressive feeling of graduation gradually became clear.

Some people are taking the postgraduate entrance examination, some are taking the civil service examination, some are looking for a job... and I continue to study art.

I was like a dying animal, a prisoner doomed, a man who is at a loss before the end.

I hide in the fortress that is about to collapse, only hoping that the end will come later.

And at this time, I also completely saw the reason for my fear—all my efforts to improve were never due to obsession or love, it was just a desperate situation under extreme emptiness.

My world, from the inside out, is about to crumble.

And the end, finally came, they divorced.

I was suddenly alone.

In fact, they are many seeds that have been planted before, and they just grow into a flower or a sprout at this time of the year.

And it's time for me to concentrate on preparing for graduation, bid farewell to the studio, and bid farewell to Lu Fei.

The last piece of paradise is also lost.

Immediately afterwards, I received Lu Fei's "confession". After all, she broke the friendship I carefully maintained.

So be it, it was only a season of companionship, and when it's time to say goodbye, I have to say goodbye.

Later, the thesis and graduation procedures gradually became more compact, one after another, graduation photos, breakup meals, and selling goods at the last week's stalls, all of which drew an imperfect end to my student days.

Some misunderstandings were not resolved in the end, some feelings were not spoken in the end, and some decisions were not resolved in the end.

In the end, I ended my four-year journey in a daze.

However, it is over after all. Although it is not perfect, I don't regret it.

Because here I meet a lot of people.

Because I like these people.

I'm going to Beijing tomorrow, the future is unpredictable, I just hope everything goes well.

Thursday, May 2013, 10

I finally settled down in Beijing, doing a job I still like in a company that is very respectable.

The future seems to be gradually becoming clearer, and I am fulfilled and happy every day.

Well, I guess I'm happy. After all, I get along very well with my colleagues, and the roommates in the rented house are also good, and I'm so busy that I don't have time to feel emotions or think too much, so it should be happiness.

Speaking of roommates, I would never have imagined that I would share a room with a gay one day.

Haha, when I first came here, I found a bed under the recommendation of a friend here. Later, when the work was settled, I went to find a single room near the company.

At the beginning, I didn't plan to rent this house, after all, it would be inconvenient to live with a boy.

In the end, the landlord told me not to worry, the boy was gay, and said that he had seen him with his boyfriend, both of whom were very nice people.

I was a little surprised, but then I thought that I almost became les back then.It seems that I really have a relationship with the same-sex complex.

By coincidence, I rented it.

Then the boy named Lin Yue also told me about his feelings frankly.He is two years older than me and has been in Beijing for a year, working in the IT industry.His boyfriend is not in Beijing, but sometimes he comes to see him.They secretly fell in love without telling their families, and they planned to confess when their financial foundation was stronger.

In addition, the landlord is right, Lin Yue is indeed a very nice person, sometimes when I come home from get off work, he cooks all the meals, um, the taste is also good.

His boyfriend is a good match for him, wish them happiness.

Sunday, July 2013, 10

I don't have much contact with the teachers at the university, but Teacher Tian has always taken good care of me. I think I should give her a call now that I have settled down.

In fact, before the fight, I wondered if Lu Fei would be there, and I actually hoped that she would be there.

I can't make up my mind when to make this call.

So I finally dialed 3 minutes before the studio was about to start class.

I guess just leave it to fate.

Teacher Tian was very happy to receive my call. She excitedly asked me how I was doing now.I said I was working as an editor in Beijing, and she praised me for being really good.I asked her how the studio was, and she said it was still the same, and that Lu Fei was still learning.

As I was talking, she excitedly told me that Lu Fei was coming, and then asked me if I wanted to say a few words to Lu Fei.

I smiled and said yes, but I was a little nervous.

I haven't seen each other for four months, and haven't spoken to each other for half a year.

While waiting for Lu Fei to answer the phone, I couldn't help but imagine what we would talk about.

Finally, I heard her say "Hi."

The sound is a bit muffled.

So I said "Hello" to her deliberately and relaxedly, as if a senior is taking care of a junior.

She heard my voice but didn't speak, I was a little panicked, so I said "it's me".

"I know," she said, and there was a brief silence.

I felt a burst of ecstasy in this silence, because she still cared about me, didn't she?

But I felt sad for a while because she still couldn't get over the knot in her heart that day, the alienation and embarrassment that separated us as wide as a wall.

I tried my best to pick up the next sentence naturally, and asked her what she had learned in painting.

She said she had learned colors.

Then I asked her if the school's new back door had been built, and she said it would be done during the holidays.

I could tell that she didn't want to talk to me very much, so I didn't continue when there was another silence.

Is she mad at me?

Is it true that if you can't be a lover, you can't even be a friend?

Lu Fei returned the phone to Teacher Tian, ​​and we chatted a little more.

I can't tell where the reluctance came from, so before hanging up, I said to the teacher, "Help me tell Lu Fei to let her draw well, and I'll wait for her to surpass me."

Teacher Tian smiled and said yes, then hung up the phone.

In fact, I know that Lu Fei has already surpassed my progress, but I just remembered that night and the last agreement.

Did she forget?

I just said it casually, but I didn't want her to forget.

Saturday, January 2013, 11

Is the world crazy or am I crazy?

Song Qian actually confessed to me today!

My roommate for four years in college, who shared a bunk bed, she actually said she liked me!

I have been speculating on Lu Fei's thoughts before, but I never thought that Song Qian might be interested in me.

crazy!It's crazy!

She called me today, we chatted about each other's recent situation, and then we talked about her family asking her to go on a blind date.

I just said that after work, I have to rely on this method to get to know my marriage partner.

She said yes, but said she had at least been in a relationship when she was in college, and said that I had been single for four years.

I suddenly thought of Lu Fei, and then blurted out that I had rejected others at the beginning, if the time and situation were different, maybe I would have agreed.

Song Qian immediately asked me who I was, and I regretted that I said it, so I said, "It's a boy from the studio, you don't know him."

Song Qian asked when it was again, and I said the next semester of senior year.

Then without warning, she suddenly asked me, "Is it Lu Fei?"

I was stunned for a while, I don't understand why she would know.

I quickly said, "Don't be kidding, how is it possible." But I was in a panic.

And her tone suddenly became serious, she said, "He Lin, I have something to tell you."

I pretended to be relaxed and smiled and asked, "What's the matter? Your tone is very serious."

As a result, her next sentence scared me.

She said, "He Lin, I like you."

I feel like my brain is overwhelmed. I understand the meaning of these words, but the combination of them makes me confused.

Song Qian continued without waiting for my answer. She said that she actually liked me a long time ago, even earlier than Lu Fei.She said she was just afraid to face her feelings or tell me.She talked about how she had lived in the past few years, how she carefully hid her love carefully, and how painful and sad she was.She said that she couldn't bear it anymore. Today, her family asked her to go on a blind date, and all she could think about was me.She cried, she said she didn't know what to do, she said she really didn't want to know me.

She kept talking and didn't give me a chance to interrupt. I didn't have time to ask a question until I was tired and burst into tears.

I said I don't understand why this is happening.

She said He Lin, do you know how cruel you are?

I was stunned.

Then I heard her say that in fact, I can clearly detect other people's feelings for me, but I deliberately ignore them again and again.She said that I could have made decisions more frankly, but I always dragged my feet.She asked me if I knew how many people my attitude had hurt!

I'm confused, didn't I do this because I hope everyone can live in peace?

Didn't I do this for the good of everyone?

But Song Qian refuted me loudly, she said that I was only afraid because I couldn't bear it and couldn't let go of it and dared not take responsibility.

I said no, and then she sneered, and she said don't you always feel like no one understands you?That's because you never want others to know!You lock up your heart, no one can get in!It is simply that you have abandoned the world yourself!

I yelled that I didn't, but sadly I felt from the bottom of my heart that Song Qian was right.

Everything she said was true!

Finally Song Qian said, "I'm sorry to tell you so much, I know you have always regarded me as a good friend, but I really don't want to be friends with you. He Lin, goodbye."

After speaking, she hung up the phone.

I can't help but wonder why?

First Shen Xueer, then Lu Fei, and now Song Qian, why doesn't any of them want to be friends with me?

What am I doing wrong!

Why are you doing this to me!

Is God punishing my indecision?

I seem to finally understand how cruel I was to Lu Fei back then.

Sunday, July 2013, 11

Today Lin Yue begged me for help, let me pretend to be his girlfriend.

I asked him what happened, was he forced into marriage by his family?Didn't I say you were going to confess if you paid enough praise?

He sighed and said that the old man in the family was sick, he didn't want to hurt his family's heart, and it was really not the right time to come out.

I understand that no matter how good the planning is, we will encounter various emergencies during the actual implementation, and most of the things we can't predict.

So I asked him how can I help?

He said that his family wanted to introduce him to a girl for a blind date, and that girl happened to be from our company.He didn't want to involve another person, and he didn't want to hurt the girl.So I told my family that I already had a girlfriend, just because I didn’t have time to tell my family after the talk, and in order to increase the authenticity of this lie, he wanted to pick me up at the door of the company when I was off work, and we pretended to be intimate, Let other people in the company see it, so that at least for a period of time, the family will not give him any more blind dates.

I asked him again if he wanted me to meet his parents.

He promised that he would not, but he would keep it a secret for now, and then he would think of a way.

I thought about it, I'm not in the same department as that girl, well water doesn't violate river water, and that girl hasn't met Lin Yue yet, this incident doesn't seem to cause me hatred or anything, it doesn't affect me much, so I I agree.

Lin Yue said he was sorry, but he really didn't think of any other way, then he suddenly remembered something, and asked me that if the company happened to have a male colleague who had a crush on me and misunderstood me because of this, then he would be so sorry for me, and said otherwise he would Find someone else to find a way.

I just smiled at him and said that I am not worried about it at all. There are not many men in the editorial department, and some girls have a crush on me.

Then Lin Yue smiled and said that would be very grateful.

Afterwards we went out and took a few group photos, and he said he would keep them for fakes.

Then I thought I didn't know what his boyfriend's attitude was, so I asked him. His expression was a bit bitter, and he told me that his boyfriend was sad about it, but he still agreed with him.

So everything is ready, and from tomorrow onwards I will have a "boyfriend".

Although I have had the experience of being crushed by homosexuals more than once before, I feel that this is the first time that I have been so close to real gay feelings.

Sure enough, for things like feelings, no matter how beautiful the imagination is, there is too much powerlessness in the face of reality.

I'm a little glad I didn't drag Lu Fei into the water.

I wonder how Luffy is doing now?

Has she completely forgotten about me?

Has she found her life?

I want her to be happy.

But my heart hurts.

Saturday, January 2013, 11

It's early morning again, and I haven't slept yet.

The scene just now kept repeating in his head, and he couldn't calm down no matter what.

The last time it was like this was early spring, when Lu Fei wanted to confess his love to me, but this time it was because of Lu Fei, I think we will say goodbye this time.

Everything was going smoothly, Lin Yue came to pick me up at the door of my company, and then deliberately kissed me amidst the booing of his colleagues.

But Lu Fei unexpectedly appeared.

When I saw her number appear on my mobile phone, I suddenly had a premonition, and then I looked around, and I actually saw her turning to leave!

I strode over, trying to stop her. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but the excitement at the moment I saw her was real.

I finally saw Lu Fei again!She hasn't given up on me yet, has she?

I wanted to hug her happily, but the next second I woke up suddenly.

Am I really going this route?Like Lin Yue, pulling Lu Fei to bear those heavy things?

In fact, in the past two nights, I have heard Lin Yue's suppressed quarrel when he was on the phone with his boyfriend.

So do I really have to do this too?

I forced myself to calm down, and then I tried to ask as unemotionally as possible, "Lu Fei, why are you here?"

She raised her head in panic, and I saw tears in the corners of her eyes that were not wiped clean.

At that moment, my heart was very painful. Did I make her cry again?

I almost reached out and wiped her eyes.

But Lin Yue came over, and I immediately realized what I was doing now.

So I just turned around and smiled at Lin Yue, and I said, "This is my school girl from the same university."

I looked at Lu Fei, she was a little thinner than before, but her appearance didn't change much, I felt a bit distressed.

And just after I introduced Lin Yue in this way, the light in Lu Fei's eyes dimmed instantly.

I asked her again why she came to Beijing.

She stared at me blankly without answering.

Lin Yue grabbed my shoulder and said, "Look, you scared people."

Lu Fei stared straight at Lin Yue's hand on my shoulder, and I suddenly felt an urge to shake off Lin Yue, but I resisted it.

Then Lin Yue stretched out his hand and introduced himself to Lu Fei. He said he was my "boyfriend".

I wanted Lin Yue to stop, but I couldn't.

Then I saw Lu Fei stretch out his hand and put it in Lin Yue's.

At this time, the colleagues who had just booed greeted us and left.

I asked Lu Fei again, "Did you call me that call just now?"

In fact, this is nonsense at all, and I just hope that Lu Fei can talk to me.

Lu Fei finally answered me, she said that she had accidentally dialed the wrong number, her voice was low, with a bit of grievance.

I asked her how she knew my new number, and she said Song Qian told her.

I was startled and wondered if Song Qian had said something else to Lu Fei.

But I can't ask directly, so I just ask if they have been in touch since graduation.

Lu Fei said that Song Qian just stayed in her dormitory for one night when she went back to the school to go through formalities.

But I think it should be more than that simple, otherwise why Lu Fei would suddenly come to Beijing to look for me.

I was thinking about how to ask her, when Lin Yue asked Lu Fei to come home with us for dinner.

Lu Fei looked at me, but I didn't know whether to do it or not, so I didn't answer.

Lu Fei then said that she came to see her classmates and was going back now.

Lin Yue insisted on asking Lu Fei to be a guest, and I didn't want Lu Fei to leave just like that.

So I said that Ah Yue has said so, you can leave after dinner.

Hearing what I said, Lu Fei, who was still refusing, suddenly obeyed. She handed the luggage to Lin Yue and followed us back to the house.

Lin Yue walked in front, and the two of us walked behind.I asked her about the school and Song Qian.

It felt like she received a call from me in the studio that day. I asked a question and she answered it. The atmosphere was very silent.

Arriving home soon, Lu Fei looked at the furnishings in the living room.

Because a colleague was coming over in the evening, Lin Yue and I placed our group photo in a prominent place before, and made the bedroom look like two of us together.Unexpectedly, Lu Fei saw it first.

Seeing Lu Fei staring at the photos intently, I felt sad for a while, so I turned and went to the kitchen.

What exactly should I do?

Tell her the truth now?Pull her into the water?Or simply make mistakes?

Lu Fei's persistence makes my heart ache, the more I am like this, the more I can't bear to accept her.

With my current situation, my family's situation, and the reality, I don't think I can make her happy because of me, and may even become strangers like Shen Xueer and Song Qian in the end.

This is the first time I am so deeply aware of my inferiority complex.

I thought about it over and over while listening to what Lin Yue and Lu Fei were talking about in the living room, until Lin Yue said, "Lu Fei, actually I..."

At that moment, my reason suddenly helped me make a decision, and I