paranoid dependence

Maybe it's to make Gu Zhi stop thinking so much, Shen Nian always teases him, and Gu Zhi can't stand it any more, and it's the same now, just as soon as Shen Nian's words fell, Gu Zhi hugged him After returning to the room, he was really obedient and didn't slap his mouth on his neck, but there were many red marks on the invisible places under his clothes.

It was only when his sanity returned that Gu Zhi realized that those traces on Shen Nian's body were shocking, but it was too late.

"Does it hurt?" Gu Zhi asked Shen Nian stroking those marks lightly.

It doesn't hurt much when it comes to love, but at the moment when Gu Zhi touches Shen Nian, she feels a little itchy and grabs his hand: "It doesn't hurt."

Gu Zhi glanced at him, as if he didn't believe it, Shen Nian smiled: "I'll tell you if it hurts."

Strange to say, they have done almost all the intimate things between them, kissing every day, and helping each other from time to time, although most of them are Shen Nian helping Gu Zhi.But even in such an intimate state, the two of them still haven't developed to the last step, Gu Zhi never mentioned it, Shen Nian just pretended not to know.

This matter... pays attention to the fact that it will happen when it happens, and I didn't feel that way when I said it deliberately.

Besides, Shen Nian is also willing to maintain the current state, he quite likes it.

After another help, Shen Nian got out of bed to wash his hands, but Gu Zhi grabbed his wrist before sitting on the bedside, Shen Nian thought he was going to help himself, and said with a smile: "No need."

I don't know why, but Shen Nian is still not very enthusiastic about this matter. Maybe it's because of his cold personality. Although he also likes Gu Zhi to be in close contact with him, he doesn't feel absolute happiness in helping this matter. And comfortable, even feel too dry and a little pain.

Gu Zhi seemed to have noticed this too, and he didn't force him too much, and he didn't have the habit of reciprocating courtesy, but today he held onto his hand, even getting tighter and tighter.

It was through this strength that Shen Nian realized what Gu Zhi meant.

The heartbeat quickened almost immediately, maybe Gu Zhi could feel the speed of his pulse while holding his wrist, but it didn't matter if he didn't feel it, he could definitely see that his ears were red.

Even Shen Nian herself felt hot.

Shen Nian still had something on his hand and was hinted by Gu Zhi's eyes and movements, more or less felt that he couldn't escape.

Gu Zhi stood up, wrapped his shoulders from behind, and kissed him on the back of his neck and behind his ears, full of hints, Shen Nian closed his eyes and had no intention of refusing, but Gu Zhi finally let go. She drove him away, sighed heavily, and bit his shoulder.

This result was also unexpected to Shen Nian, he washed his hands and lay on the bed before asking, Gu Zhi hugged him but didn't speak, Shen Nian kept silent for a few seconds and didn't force him, just patted his arm and fell asleep.

A period of time passed like this, until halfway through the summer vacation, the two of them had to consider the plan to go back.

After dinner that day, Shen Nian and Gu Zhi sat on the porch looking at the moon, Shen Nian told him about leaving here:

"Let's leave in a few days. It will be inconvenient to catch up with the students returning to school later."

"Okay." Gu Zhi said.

Regarding going back to the place where Shen Nian worked, Gu Zhi didn't show any discomfort, it seemed that he didn't care whether it was here or where, he never liked any place, he only liked Shen Nian.

Shen Nian turned to look at him with a smile, and squeezed his hand:

"I want to visit my dad these two days, and it may be next year when I come back, so I can burn some paper money for him."

Except for the fact that the two of them went to see Shen Chongshan together when they first came back, they hadn't been there for the rest of the time. Firstly, being here doesn't mean anything. Secondly, when Shen Chongshan was alive, he didn't think much of them. Now they are blatantly together. , and won't change, there's no need to create trouble in front of him.

Now that he is leaving in a few days, Shen Nian thought about going to see again, Gu Zhi is optional:

"If you want to go, I will go with you."

"If you don't want to go, I can go by myself." Shen Nian said with a smile.

"I don't want to go." Gu Zhi said.

The two of them bought some paper money and sacrifices and went to Shen Chongshan's grave one morning. It had been 8 years and the grave was much smaller than before. Shen Chongshan reported:

"The summer vacation is over, and school is about to start. In two days, Gu Zhi and I will be leaving. It may be next year when we come back. I won't be back to see you during the period."

Gu Zhi didn't speak, he didn't have the slightest sense of participation in this matter, he squatted next to Shen Nian and threw paper money into the fire bit by bit, without looking up, Shen Nian was silent for a while after saying this, his eyes fell on Looking at Gu Zhi's white hair, he raised his hand to touch it.

Gu Zhi just looked up at him, but Shen Nian just smiled and looked at the tomb bag again, saying:

"Dad, I'm with Gu Zhi."

Gu Zhi was a little surprised, but didn't say anything.

"Actually, I haven't really understood." Shen Nian said softly, "I don't quite understand why you were so worried that Gu Zhi and I would have different feelings for each other, was it because you were worried about the world, or because you yourself have suffered too much in this life. , don’t want us to have a taste of it? You are gone, I can’t get an answer, but I know that no matter what the reason is, you are doing it for our own good.”

"But Dad, if you can control your feelings, you won't be alone for a lifetime. You can't control it, and I can't control it. The person you love is not worth it, but I love the luckiest person I have ever met in my life." Lucky for me, I don't want to let him go, and I can't."

As if he didn't expect Shen Nian to say that, Gu Zhi's eyes began to flicker, and traces of excitement began to appear.

After returning to Shen Nian's side, anyone could see that Gu Zhi had changed a lot from before, he had no confidence in himself.

When he was awake, he was very clear that Shen Nian liked him, not because of guilt, he could see and feel such hot feelings.But when he is in an abnormal mood, he can't help but wonder if Shen Nian is guilty of doing this to him, because he knows that he likes him, so he wants to make up for it by responding to himself.

He shuttled back and forth between the two possibilities, sometimes he would get confused, Shen Nian probably felt it too, but he never took the initiative to say anything, and Gu Zhi didn't think Shen Nian should say anything, this was originally his own problem, and Shen Nian It doesn't matter to Nian, but Gu Zhi didn't expect Shen Nian to say these words in front of Shen Chongshan at this time.

He said 'my love'.

This is more shocking than liking.

Gu Zhi grabbed Shen Nian's hand, Shen Nian seemed to know why he was so excited, smiled and squeezed his wrist without explaining anything, and burned all the remaining paper money one by one.

"The road ahead is long, I don't know what ending Gu Zhi and I will end up with, but any ending is fine, I am sure we will never be separated again, we will all be together, we will not let each other be alone again. "Shen Nian said softly: "You can also rest assured."

When the paper money was burnt and the last gleam of fire disappeared, Shen Nian stretched out his hand to Gu Zhi. Gu Zhi held it in a daze, but couldn't find a suitable opening line, but Shen Nian didn't seem to be waiting for him to say anything. He let go of his hand with a smile and said:

"water."

It was only then that Gu Zhi came to his senses as if waking up from a dream, and handed the mineral water bottle beside him to Shen Nian. Shen Nian unscrewed the cap of the bottle and poured water on the ashes of the fire to ensure that it would not re-ignite, and then returned the mineral water bottle , he looked at Gu Zhi still looking almost lost, and asked softly:

"What are you thinking about?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian with serious eyes: "I miss what you just said."

"Which sentence?" Shen Nian looked at him and asked.

Gu Zhi fell silent, looking at Shen Nian as if he was in a daze.

He should have asked, he knew that what Shen Nian said in front of Shen Chongshan would not be false, but he still didn't dare, what if?What if Shen Nian was just trying to reassure Shen Chongshan.

Gu Zhi didn't speak, but Shen Nian saw him clearly: "Is it the sentence 'I love'?"

Gu Zhi still didn't speak, but Shen Nian raised his hand and rubbed his hair again, sighing softly:

"What should I do? I still have no confidence in me."

"I do not……"

"I love you." Shen Nian interrupted him, and said what Gu Zhi wanted to ask the most, in a more straightforward way: "It's not guilt, it's not heartache, it's just because you are you, so I like you, so I love you." Love you."

Shen Nian was actually ready for Gu Zhi to pounce on him, after all, he was serious and frank about his love, but the fact is that he thought too much, let alone pounced on him, Gu Zhi seemed to have no reaction Just looking at him, without saying a word, without blinking, even breathing seems to be stagnant.

Shen Nian himself was more or less embarrassed, so if he didn't rush, then he didn't bother to pay attention to him, he just got up and left, but Gu Zhi still didn't recover, and only listened when Shen Nian was almost at the side of the road. There were footsteps behind him.

Gu Zhi grabbed Shen Nian's swinging arm and forced him to turn around, looking at him as if he was about to kiss, but Shen Nian stopped him:

"Not here."

Gu Zhi was dissatisfied and frowned, but he also realized that this place was indeed not a good place, and he didn't want Nian Nian to be seen by others, so he took his hand without saying a word, and hurriedly walked towards Jianjia Lane, when he met Nian Nian on the way. A few acquaintances thought they were quarreling because of an awkward situation, and tried to persuade them a few times from a distance. Shen Nian smiled and responded, but it didn't seem to be convincing. Gu Zhi's expression was indeed a little anxious and frightening.

After entering the small courtyard, Gu Zhi turned around and locked the gate, Shen Nian stood behind him watching, and asked him with a smile:

"What is Brother Zhi going to do?"

"You." After Gu Zhi said something, he grabbed his hand again and walked through the small courtyard into the north room.

Gu Zhi was more excited than ever before, Shen Nian was suppressed and his breathing was not smooth, and his consciousness became confused. He was clearly lying on the bed, but he felt that he was in the cloud, in the water, in the fire, he was hot He asked Gu Zhi if he forgot to turn on the air conditioner, Gu Zhi looked back and said it was on.

"Hot." Shen Nian said with a frown.

"En." Gu Zhi ignored his request for the first time, moved closer to him, and said, "Tell me if it hurts."