paranoid dependence

Shen Nian asked Gu Zhi to go into the house to get dressed, Gu Zhi went obediently, and after a while he came out after getting dressed and said to Shen Nian:

"I'm going out to buy groceries."

Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi for a few seconds, then smiled faintly: "Go."

Liang Qiu was a little surprised, he didn't come here to watch the two show their love, he really wanted to talk about Ning Wen's affairs, Gu Zhi should also listen to his opinion as the person involved, and just left, who did he talk to? Say go?Just about to ask him to stay, but Shen Nian shook his head at him, Liang Qiu understood and swallowed back the words that came to his lips.

"I want to eat green beans and saliva chicken tonight." Shen Nian ordered as usual.

Gu Zhi responded and left the small courtyard, Liang Qiu looked at Shen Nian after seeing his figure disappear, the doubt in his eyes was about to overflow.

Shen Nian smiled slightly: "He doesn't want to hear about those things anymore, including the name Ning Wen."

Liang Qiu didn't understand, at least it was different from the Gu Zhi he knew:

"That's not right, shouldn't Gu Zhi have to take revenge? He doesn't even want to hear it now, so he doesn't care about it? Forgive me?"

"Do you think it's possible?" Gu Zhi's T-shirt was warm around his neck, and Shen Nian subconsciously wanted to tear it off, but he thought of something and put his hand down again. He didn't care too much: "Even if I have such a temperament, it is impossible for me to forgive such a thing, let alone stubbornness, he can't forgive me."

Having said that, Liang Qiu seems to understand:

"For you."

"Yes." Shen Nian admitted frankly, "For me."

"We have been back for more than ten days, this is the place we have the most memories, and I try my best to bring everything back to the time when we were not separated, but Gu Zhi still has nightmares, still trembles, and still can't really be happy Get up." Shen Nian's expression was a bit distressed: "He knows better than anyone what will happen if he touches those things again, it's not that he doesn't care about it, it's not that he forgave, it's just..."

"It's just that being able to accompany you well is more important than those." Liang Qiu snatched away Shen Nian's words and looked at him: "Right?"

Shen Nian smiled slowly and said, "He loves me very much."

"What about you?" Liang Qiu said, "About the fact that you like Gu Zhi, I have had feelings for the past few years, but I haven't asked you since I haven't found Gu Zhi. The guilt he left behind? In addition, after the goodbye, knowing that he has experienced this, so he simply followed his heart?"

Liang Qiu and Shen Nian were friends who grew up together. They should be the people who knew each other best, but later on because they couldn't see each other often, they were more or less the same as before, especially after Shen Nian and Gu Zhi separated. Worried about Shen Nian's state, they never talked about this topic properly.

Now Liang Qiu wants to talk.

"I think if you simply feel sorry for him and feel sorry for him, then it's better to explain it now." Liang Qiu said bluntly: "Gu Zhi only recognizes you, and you can't pretend to be emotional. If one day he knows that you are right He is just guilty, I can’t imagine how he will react, it’s not an exaggeration to destroy the world, right? Instead of getting out of control by then, it’s okay to stop the loss in time now.”

Shen Nian looked at Liang Qiu: "It sounds like I feel sorry for Gu Zhi."

"I love you too." Liang Qiu's small bench was not very comfortable to sit on, and after adjusting his sitting position, he said, "I'm not sure if Gu Zhi knew that if you lied to him, he would still be reluctant to hurt you. I've been thinking about it for a few days, and no matter how unreliable you think, you should give me an answer."

An answer to whether he feels guilty, distressed, or genuinely fond of Gu Zhi.

Shen Nian didn't answer right away, and asked Liang Qiu a question in silence for a few seconds: "What does it mean to like someone?"

Liang Qiu looked at him amusedly: "Ask me?"

"You and Cheng Xu have been together for so many years. The last time I called Aunt Su and said that you are about to get engaged, of course I have to ask you." Shen Nian didn't mean to half-joke, and looked at Liang Qiu: "So what is it like to like someone? What performance?"

Cheng Xu was Liang Qiu's deskmate when he transferred to Shanghai. The two finally came together. They have been together noisyly for 8 years. No one is more suitable than Liang Qiu to answer this question, but Liang Qiu does not say:

"Don't try to refer to my answer, I'm asking you now."

Can't wait to refer to the answer, Shen Nian didn't force it, he was silent for a while before opening his mouth, he said:

"I've never liked anyone, and I don't know what it's like to like someone, but during the 8 years of separation from Gu Zhi, I missed him a lot. He is also here, I want to know where he is, and I want to sneak a look at him. At first I also felt guilty. After all, I was the villain and left him behind. The same guilt, there is still no way to make up for the guilt for my dad, why don't I think of him so much?"

"You know when I was most relaxed in eight years?"

Liang Qiu looked at Shen Nian who was silent and didn't speak, Shen Nian smiled lightly: "It was the time when I had hallucinations about Gu Zhi, I could see him, although not often, but I was very satisfied, sometimes he would Sitting next to me and listening to lectures, sometimes he would eat with me and go to the library together, which made me feel that I was actually living the life that Gu Zhi dreamed of before, we agreed at that time to go to Shanghai together."

"During the counseling period, Gu Zhi's hallucinations disappeared. I didn't tell Dr. Tang or you. I didn't tell you that I was very disappointed. I missed him very much. Even if it was a hallucination, I wanted to see him. I regret going for psychological counseling, and I even masochistically recalled the day we separated over and over again, just hoping that he could show up again and come back."

Shen Nian said: "But I never saw him again."

"Doctor Tang said that my guilt towards Gu Zhi has faded away. I admit it, I admit that I am no longer guilty towards him. I just miss him very much." Shen Nian looked at the drop on the eaves. Falling Raindrops: "While thinking about him, I feel that the original decision was right. He must be doing well, and there may even be another person who treats him sincerely. Otherwise, he would have come to me to settle accounts with all his might. , I wanted him to come, but I didn’t want him to come, and it’s been like this for 8 years.”

"I've always thought that the intimacy between me and Gu Zhi is normal. Even if it's not normal, it's because we started out differently from others, but I found that I couldn't accept others touching and hugging me, and I would subconsciously avoid it. , feel uncomfortable, and wonder if Gu Zhi will be unhappy seeing him? Even if he is not by my side."

"After he reappeared, I was very happy. I even felt happy that he was crazy about me." Shen Nian didn't know what to think of, and laughed: "You know? I hid it and listened to him for everything, so I didn’t feel afraid, and even looked forward to it.”

Shen Nian looked back at Liang Qiu: "Does this count as liking?"

Liang Qiu hadn't heard Shen Nian say such a long time, and it was all from his heart. He suddenly realized that he was not qualified as a friend. During these eight years, he always felt that Shen Nian was guilty until Only at this moment did he realize what Gu Zhi meant to him.

"If you don't like this, then Xuxu and I can only be brothers." Liang Qiu was silent for a while after speaking, then smiled slowly, and asked Shen Nian: "So, you are counted as together now ?”

"No one has explicitly said that we are in a relationship, but Gu Zhi and I both know that nothing can separate us." Shen Nian's brows and eyes were all faintly satisfied: "We are together."

Liang Qiu stared at him for a few seconds, then laughed too:

"It's very good, it turns out that he is by your side after going around, let's be together well, and treat it as eliminating harm for the people."

Shen Nian clicked his tongue in dissatisfaction: "Who are you talking about? Who is the victim?"

"Without your Gu Zhi." Liang Qiu looked at Shen Nian: "I can't imagine what it would be like without you by Gu Zhi's side after going through so much, he would probably be crazy, with you holding him down The madness is not just killing harm for the people."

"If you can't speak, let Cheng Xu go back and teach you." Shen Nian didn't agree with him, and even muttered something in a low voice. Liang Qiu wasn't sure what he heard, and looked at him in surprise: "What did you say?" ?”

Shen Nian's expression became a little unnatural, and his ears were red, but he ignored Liang Qiu's words and pretended not to hear them.

Liang Qiu stared at Shen Nian, not sure if what he heard just now was: He is not a harm, he is my treasure.

This is too unsettling.But thinking about it, this is what Shen Nian should look like, a Shen Nian who should cry when he wants to, laugh when he wants to, dare to love and hate, and say what he wants.

In the past, Shen Nian didn't care about anything and lived like an outsider, but now he has more or less fireworks.

"Okay." Shen Nian changed the subject, not letting Liang Qiu continue to stare at him: "You came to see me, didn't you come here for Ning Wen's business? Why did I talk so much, you are busy Haven't said a word yet? How's it going?"

Liang Qiu smiled: "Are you still worried about my work?"

"Tell me specifically." Relief means reassurance, but Shen Nian still wants to know.

"Ning Jia's company is the Internet. After Ning Wen took over, he has developed a lot of new businesses. It will take some time for concrete evidence, but I dare say that his hands are definitely not clean. As far as I know, it is enough to send him in. , but this is an era where evidence is important in everything." Liang Qiu said: "Wait a little longer, I will give Gu Zhi an explanation."

Liang Qiu's ability to say this is almost inseparable, and Shen Nian's hanging heart these days can be regarded as a drop, he is afraid that he will get nothing in the end and Ning Wen will be at large.

Fortunately, the wicked do their own evil.

"Thank you." Shen Nian said.

"I don't work hard." Liang Qiu said, "I just stayed in the hotel and asked the people below to check. Otherwise, why do you think I paid such a high salary to invite them to my company? Capitalists are like this."

Shen Nian: "..."

Liang Qiu laughed and asked Shen Nian: "Are you going to stay here for a while?"

"Yeah." Shen Nian nodded: "Although Gu Zhi didn't say anything, I can see that he likes it here, and it can make him relax. I'll just wait for school to start when I go back, so it's better to be here."

"It's good. You don't need me if you have Gu Zhi to accompany you. Then I'll go back to Shanghai tomorrow. I'll let you guys know when I have news."

Liang Qiu's visit to Shen Nian this time was originally a temporary plan. He didn't want to stay for so long. It was because of Gu Zhi's matter that he was procrastinating. He still has a lot of things to deal with in Shanghai. May block:

"Okay, if Gu Zhi is in good condition, we will go to Shanghai to see Aunt Su and the others before we go back."

Liang Qiu raised his eyebrows dispensably: "Look at you, anyway, my mother misses you the same whether I go or not."

Shen Nian smiled and said nothing.

In the evening, Gu Zhi cooked the string beans and saliva chicken that Shen Nian requested, and made two more Sichuan dishes, which Liang Qiu liked. Liang Qiu knew what it meant when he saw it, and couldn't help but want to speak Teased Gu Zhi, but was kicked by Shen Nian, Liang Qiu took a look at Shen Nian, then shut up.

Perhaps Gu Zhi has never been able to get along with Liang Qiu peacefully in his whole life, but it doesn't mean that Gu Zhi doesn't know what Liang Qiu has done for him.

He is indeed not very understanding of the world, and there is only one thought in his eyes, and he will never treat others differently. These two dishes may be the only gratitude he can show, but Liang Qiu already feels that it is Surprised, after all, this is something he never dared to think about.

It turned out that while Shen Nian was getting better, Gu Zhi was also a little different.

Liang Qiu was very satisfied with the situation.

Maybe it's because he's in a good mood, maybe it's because Gu Zhi's cooking skills are really good, Liang Qiu ate a lot to save face, and at the end he felt like he was about to throw up, Shen Nian looked at him like a fool, Liang Qiu didn't even bother to wave his hands Besides, let's go.

"Don't stop?" Shen Nian also got up.

Liang Qiu's gaze swept between the two of them, and then fell on Shen Nian's neck. During the meal, Shen Nian took off the T-shirt. Although Gu Zhi was not satisfied, it was too inconvenient after all. .

"Restraint." Liang Qiu still couldn't say a word, and then looked at Gu Zhi: "I understand your mood, but this is summer, can you hide your traces? I saw it today, maybe Tomorrow will be someone else, of course, if you really want to hide him, then pretend I didn't say anything."

After saying this, Liang Qiu waved away and didn't even let them see him off, very chic.

Gu Zhi probably listened to it, and stood there without any reaction, Shen Nian patted him on the shoulder: "Brother Zhi washes the dishes, I don't want to do it."

When Gu Zhi washed the dishes and left the west room, he unexpectedly found that Shen Nian was still sitting on the porch, with his eyes closed as if he was asleep. Gu Zhi knew that he was just lazy when he was not asleep, so he didn't speak, so he moved a small bench next to him. sat down beside.

"Bite my two bumps, it's itchy." Without opening Shen Nian's eyes, Shen Nian stretched out his arm for Gu Zhi to see. Gu Zhi took his hand, looked at the two red marks, and pressed gently. Relieving his itching, somehow his gaze landed on Shen Nian's neck again, the marks there were indeed a bit heavy, even saying it was a mosquito bite was far-fetched.

"I won't bite you anymore." Gu Zhi said.

Shen Nian opened his eyes to look at him, noticed his gaze and laughed: "It scared me, I thought Brother Zhi had turned into a mosquito."

Gu Zhi stretched out his hand to caress the red mark on his neck: "It's been five days, and it still hasn't gone away."

"Yeah." Shen Nian responded with a smile: "Then don't bite the neck, I'll bite you in other places that others can't see, okay?"