paranoid dependence

When Shen Nian bid farewell to Liang Qiu and said that he would go back to Jianjia Lane with Gu Zhi, Liang Qiu kept looking at Shen Nian's mouth, his expression was a bit indescribable.

Although he doesn't discriminate against sexual orientation, and knows that these two people will definitely get together, he still can't imagine the two men being intimate, especially the degree of wound and redness on Shen Nian's mouth. , how intense is this?

I'm in a good mood, it's hard for me to toss about my obsession all night without sleep.

But in the end, Liang Qiu still didn't say anything, and drove them to the station. They should have told Chen Jingzhi, but Gu Zhi seemed unwilling to see him at this time, so he had to ask Liang Qiu to convey it.

As for Liang Qiu himself, he still has to stay here for a while longer. He called his assistant and the company's lawyer team over overnight yesterday, trying to find out all the loopholes in Ning Wen's past years. Chen Jingzhi will cooperate with him, but these Don't worry about thinking or worrying, they should relax and relax.

What's more, this place has been trapped by Gu Zhi for so long, and Liang Qiu doesn't really want Gu Zhi to stay here.

Shen Nian wanted to say thank you, but Liang Qiu raised his hand and interrupted before he could say:

"Hurry up, I don't want to eat dog food anymore, I'm going to die."

Shen Nian smiled when she heard the words and said nothing more.

It was just after noon when Shen Nian and Gu Zhi returned to Jianjia Lane. At the entrance of the alley, they met Grandpa Zhang who was enjoying the shade. Shen Nian said hello, "Grandpa Zhang."

It's been a long time since I saw each other. Grandpa Zhang's memory is not very good. He stared at Shen Nian for a long time before he remembered who it was. He stood up tremblingly: "Xiao Nian?"

"It's me." Shen Nian smiled: "Are you in good health?"

"Okay, okay." Grandpa Zhang looked at him with a smile, and looked at Gu Zhi again.

How can Shen Nian come back once a year, but Gu Zhi hasn't seen each other for seven or eight years, and now there are such big changes, Grandpa Zhang is no longer familiar with this face, Shen Nian is about to introduce, Grandpa Zhang But he remembered: "Is this Xiaozhi?"

Shen Nian was a little surprised, but still nodded: "Yes, we came back together."

"Why did you dye your hair gray? It doesn't look good or not. Look at my age, I still have a few black hairs." Grandpa Zhang looked at Gu Zhi disapprovingly: "It's better for young people to have black hair. When you are old and white, why worry."

Shen Nian subconsciously looked at Gu Zhi, fearing that he would have bad feelings because of Grandpa Zhang's words, but it didn't seem to be the case. He looked into the alley as if he didn't hear it, not knowing what he was thinking.

Without saying anything more, Shen Nian said goodbye to Grandpa Zhang, then entered the alley with Gu Zhi and returned to the small courtyard.

I haven't been back for a long time, and weeds have grown in the gaps between the floor tiles in the yard, some of them are as high as their calves, and the whole place is desolate.No one lives there all year round, and the walls and windows are dilapidated.

"Do you want to change the place?" Shen Nian turned to look at Gu Zhi but didn't get any response. Since he entered the small courtyard, he has been carefully looking at every place, as if looking for the shadow of the past.

Shen Nian didn't urge him, went straight to the utility room and took the cleaning tools out, no matter what, he had to clean up the yard once he came back, no matter how long they stayed outside, the place they were in was still a For foreigners, this small courtyard is the only place they can call home in this world.

What's more, there are so many memories of them here, which can't be lost, and can't be lost.

The dilapidated courtyard was no longer what he remembered. Gu Zhi looked at it for a while and then went to the north room. There was a thick layer of dust on the floor, and the furniture was covered with a layer of dust cloth, so there was nothing to see. Gu Zhi stayed for a while and then went to the room where he and Shen Nian used to be.

I don't know if this room has been taken special care of. It is not much different from what I remember. Even the degree of dilapidation is very small, less than one-tenth of the outside.

They slept together on that desk, they slept together on that bunk bed, their figures, their stories, and their smells are everywhere here.

Shen Nian didn't know when she came over, stood behind Gu Zhi and smiled:

"Is it a bit too broken? Do you want to stay in a hotel?"

"No." Gu Zhi said, "I want to be here."

He hasn't been home for a long time, he just wants to be here, and he doesn't want to go anywhere.

"You've grown taller now, and it might not be comfortable to sleep at night." Shen Nian pointed to the bunk bed: "Now you're obviously taller than it."

"Then I'll be here too." Gu Zhi insisted like a child.

Shen Nian was not at all surprised by this answer, and smiled: "Okay, but if you live here, brother Zhi can't be idle, I can't handle it alone, please help me."

Gu Zhi looked back at Shen Nian: "I can do it alone, Nian Nian can rest."

"No." Shen Nian looked at him with a smile in his eyes: "Reluctance."

The workload was too much, so we did it together after all. It would be nice to have one clean up the room and the other tidy up the small courtyard. It would be nice to work together, but when everything was tidied up, it would already be dark. Gu Zhi sat on the steps with a disheveled face, sinking After washing his hands, Nian walked over to stand in front of him and rubbed his hair:

"are you hungry?"

Gu Zhi looked up at him, and answered honestly: "Hungry."

"Then I'll go out and buy some food. Brother Zhi is waiting for me at home?" His hands were stained with the dust on Gu Zhi's white hair, and they felt sticky again, so they rubbed against Gu Zhi's clothes, which were dirty anyway. , I have to wash it later, it doesn't matter.

Gu Zhi looked sideways at his hand rubbing against his clothes, and held it with a smile, Shen Nian clicked his tongue: "Did you not wash your hands? Don't hold me with dirty hands."

Even though he said that, he didn't take his hand away.

"Nian Nian, I want to take a shower." Gu Zhi said, "But when I cleaned the bathroom just now, it seemed that there was no hot water. Could the solar energy also be disabled?"

It's been eight years, and it can't be used for a long time, but it's really unreasonable for the two of them not to take a bath today. Whether Gu Zhi can bear it or not, Shen Nian absolutely can't bear it: "Burn some hot water to wipe it off, you go burn it. Water, I'm going to buy food."

It could only be like this, but Shen Nian was not very willing to let Shen Nian go out alone, Shen Nian tapped his lips before he could say anything, and stopped him:

"I'll return soon."

You can't look at him too tightly, you can't let him have no space for you, you can't stay away from him, Gu Zhi quietly read the agreement with him again in his heart, and then let go of Shen Nian's hand:

"I'm going to boil the water."

Shen Nian praised him as 'good boy', went to wash his hands before going out.

The village in the city has changed a lot in recent years, there are more street shops, even snack bars, Shen Nian bought some cooked food, some pancakes and soup, met Uncle Chen while waiting for dinner, the two talked After a while, Shen Nian went home after the meal was ready.

Gu Zhi was waiting for him at the door, Shen Nian walked over with a smile:

"Is it ready?"

"En." Gu Zhi took the things in his hands and went home with him: "Eat first or take a bath first?"

"Let's eat." Shen Nian said: "It's such a hot day, I'm still sweating after eating, let's wash together after eating."

With Gu Zhi, Shen Nian naturally said whatever he wanted, and nodded, "Where to eat?"

"Let's go to the courtyard." Although it was a bit hot, the night was fine today, and the sky was blue.

Gu Zhi moved the small table and put it under the porch, put away the things Shen Nian bought, and the two of them sat on the small bench at each side, maybe they were too hungry, so they didn't talk much, then Gu Zhi finished eating first and leaned on Looking at Shen Nian from the back of the chair.

There are many mosquitoes in summer, one or two would fly over from time to time, but Gu Zhi never let them get close to Shen Nian, and drove them away from a distance. Hand, he likes this quiet protection, with eyes and actions.

This is the Gu Zhi he is familiar with, no matter what Gu Zhi has experienced, no matter how long they have missed each other, the person in front of him will always be the boy who always saw him in his eyes and in his heart.

After the meal, Gu Zhi packed up the leftovers and put them at the base of the wall. He originally thought that Shen Nian, a little clean freak, would go straight to the bathroom, but when he didn't want to turn around, he was still sitting there, leaning against the back of the chair and closing his eyes very comfortably. look like.

Gu Zhi walked over and stood in front of him to look at him, a bug flew over and Gu Zhi raised his hand to drive it away, Shen Nian felt it and laughed:

"It's like this in my hometown. There are many mosquitoes in summer. I didn't buy mosquito coils at home. I might be bitten to death tonight."

"No." Gu Zhi said.

Shen Nian opened his eyes and looked at him, he was standing in front of him, where all his eyes went, Gu Zhi also looked at him, and he was the only one in his eyes.

"Brother Zhi." Shen Nian said softly, "Eat more tomorrow, you eat too little."

Maybe it's the sequelae of being inside, Gu Zhi's appetite is very small, Shen Nian finished eating the same two meals here, Gu Zhi only ate a small half, Shen Nian didn't force him, but he felt distressed, the current Gu Zhi Really too thin.

He didn't ask what Gu Zhi experienced in there, but he wanted to bring Gu Zhi back, as before.

Gu Zhi was very obedient, nodded: "Okay."

"Why are you so obedient?" Shen Nian smiled and reached out to him, "Let me touch his head."

One was 25 years old and the other was 23 years old. The conversation was a little naive, but Gu Zhi still obediently knelt down in front of him, and Shen Nian put his hand on the white hair as he wished, and stroked it again and again. Every touch is pampered.

"If Nian Nian looks uncomfortable, I can dye it black." Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian and said, "Black hair still looks good, right?"

Shen Nian shook his head: "No need, brother Zhi looks good no matter what."

This is not a lie, the white hair did not affect Gu Zhi's appearance, on the contrary, it gave him a little unruliness, it seems that the pain is real, but it is not bad, always remind Shen Nian how much hardship he has endured before It hurts him more in those days.

"Brother Zhi." Shen Nian pinched his ears: "We separated here eight years ago, do you hate me?"

They separated here eight years ago. At that time, they probably didn't think that eight years later, they would come back here after going around and back, back to the original point.

Gu Zhi shook his head: "When I knew you had hallucinations, I guessed the result, I just didn't want to accept it, and I didn't hate you."

Shen Nian smiled slightly: "When you left, you hated me like you wanted to eat me."

"The more I hate you, the easier it is for you." Gu Zhi looked at him: "You are too thoughtful, you feel that you are everyone's burden, and I can't do anything about others, but I don't want you to feel guilty, I'm not by your side, You can be a little more at ease."

Shen Nian looked at him without speaking, Gu Zhi asked him: "Did Nian Nian relax a little?"

"No." Shen Nian said, "I miss you very much."

Gu Zhi stared at him for a few seconds, laughed, and said, "It's worth it."

After eight years of separation, in exchange for Shen Nian's feelings for him, it was worth it.

At the beginning, if two people chose to continue walking stubbornly, torturing each other, perhaps those undiscovered feelings would be wiped out, and a separation would be inevitable in the end, but there is no way out if there is no way out, and they will definitely It hurts more than before.

And eight years ago, they only separated at a fork in the road that should have been separated, and now they reunite when they are mature and can bear it, which is already a gift from God to them.

As for the pain in the middle, perhaps it is all for the satisfaction of this moment.

Gu Zhi only needs Shen Nian, and it has never changed since eight years ago, so now that he has Shen Nian, everything is worth it.

But Shen Nian didn't think it was worth it, his little fox had been hurt too badly in these eight years.

It's just that these scars can't be healed in a short time, and Shen Nian doesn't want to mention it deliberately.

He got up from the small bench: "I'm tired, take a shower and go to bed."

It was said to be taking a bath, but it was just a shower and a hair wash. The two of them returned to the room after washing back and forth. The air conditioner was turned on, and it was cool and comfortable. I want to see who he is chatting with, but I don't think it should be.

But he had missed eight years in Shen Nian's life, he didn't understand Shen Nian's current intersecting circle at all, he wanted to know very much.

When he was struggling, Shen Nian handed over the phone and asked him: "The classmates in my class ask me questions, brother Zhi will see if he can do it." Gu Zhi looked at him in surprise, and Shen Nian grabbed him He put the phone on his palm, and then lay down: "I'm so tired, I don't want to go back, Brother Zhi, help me."

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian for a few seconds, then looked at the question sent by the other party, thought for a while and sent the idea of ​​solving the problem, while waiting for the other party's response, Gu Zhi wanted to see the conversation between Shen Nian and other people , he knew he shouldn't, but he couldn't control it.

Fortunately, they are all students and their parents, not even colleagues.

Shen Nian has no friends, the same as eight years ago, there is still only one Liang Qiu.

The classmate who asked the question sent a message back, saying thank you teacher, but Gu Zhi didn't reply and put his phone aside.He looked at Shen Nian who was lying there with his eyes closed, and asked him:

"sleep?"

Shen Nian didn't even open his eyes, and responded lightly: "Mm, sleepy..."

Gu Zhi turned off the light and lay down next to Shen Nian. There were two adults lying on the single bed eight years ago, and it was more or less crowded. Shen Nian lay on his side facing the wall. Holding him behind her made him drowsy almost instantly.

If it wasn't for the hot touch against him, Shen Nian might have fallen asleep.

Realizing something, Shen Nian opened his eyes in the dark, and his ears started to feel hot again.Gu Zhi might have heard the change of his breathing, and stepped back a little, also wanting to let go of Shen Nian, but Shen Nian grabbed his hand when he left.

"Nian Nian..." Gu Zhi's voice was a little hoarse, full of surprise.

Shen Nian stared at the wall in the dark, and was silent for a while before asking him:

"Brother Zhi, what did you dream about that night when you had a wet dream?"

When Gu Zhi thought of something, he stopped breathing for a moment, and the hand holding his waist began to gradually tighten uncontrollably. He was suppressing, but he was about to lose it.

Shen Nian turned over in his arms at this moment, looking at him in the dark:

"Dreamed about me, didn't you?"

Gu Zhi didn't answer, but Shen Nian heard him swallowing and the sound of Adam's apple rolling, he chuckled lightly, and asked again: "What did Dream do to me?"

"Nian Nian!" Gu Zhi grabbed his hand that was about to drop, but didn't know what to say.

"Let's discuss it, okay?" Shen Nian easily broke away from his not firm hand, and continued: "I'll help you, sleep well tonight, don't think too much, how about it?"

Gu Zhi didn't speak, but looked at him with burning eyes, Shen Nian leaned over and kissed his chin:

"Don't talk... I'll take it as your promise."