paranoid dependence

Remember to be good.

What about Gu Zhi?How is Gu Zhi?Shen Nian really wanted to know.

But Gu Zhi didn't give him a chance to speak, turned around and left without looking back, Shen Nian stood there in a daze for a long time, thinking about what he said just now, feeling restless all the time.

Gu Zhi said that he was going to leave, and what he just said was indeed a bit of farewell, but Shen Nian always felt that he didn't want to leave the city, leave himself, and he couldn't see the hope of life in Gu Zhi.

He was a little scared, he wanted to know what happened to Gu Zhi.

But Gu Zhi probably also knew what he was thinking, and he never gave him a chance to have a good talk. Although after this night, he did what he said and Shen Nian couldn't find him again, but the number of times he promised to meet was not. many.

Even if he promised Shen Nian to come over for a meal once in a while, he couldn't stay for long. Every time Shen Nian was about to speak, he got up and left, but when he left, his eyes were reluctant to part, as if he was afraid of Shen Nian asking something, or as if I was afraid that if I stayed for a long time, I would be reluctant to leave.

This is a stubbornness that Shen Nian has never seen before.

He began to miss the little lunatic, the little lunatic who was happy and unhappy, who was written on his face, who wanted to be crazy, and who wanted to get what he wanted no matter what.

But the little lunatic doesn't seem to be coming back, and neither does the little fox.

Shen Nian couldn't blame anyone, he lost it and didn't want it.

After the reunion, they didn't meet many times, and every time they were at home, Gu Zhi put himself in the position of a guest, every time he came over, he was well-proportioned, and Shen Nian couldn't open his mouth, maybe they should change places and go out together Take a walk and relax, so as to prevent Gu Zhi from leaving after every meal.

Although the city is not big, but the scenery next to the seaside is beautiful, so Shen Nian chose a lukewarm day to ask Gu Zhi to go out together.

He originally wanted to take Gu Zhi to the beach, but Gu Zhi was not interested and asked Shen Nian:

"Can I visit your school?"

Want to see where you work.

Shen Nian was a little surprised, but seemed to know what he meant, and nodded with a smile: "Okay."

The school was on holiday, and even the third year of high school hadn't started yet, so Shen Nian entered the school after saying hello to the guard.

Most of the schools are similar, there is actually nothing to see, but Gu Zhi still looks very carefully, he doesn't want to miss any details, as long as he thinks that this is the place where Shen Nian works, every brick under his feet may be Shen Nian Every corner has been stepped on by Shen Nian. With his shadow, Gu Zhi feels that this school is different from others.

Gu Zhi walked slowly, and Shen Nian slowly accompanied him, introducing a few words beside him from time to time, but Gu Zhi seldom opened his mouth until he arrived at the teaching building of Shen Nian's class, and he said:

"I never thought you'd be a teacher."

"Is it strange?" Shen Nian went upstairs with him up the steps.

"No." Gu Zhi said, "It's just that I never thought about this possibility."

Shen Nian smiled: "I haven't thought about it, but I probably don't have the temperament to work hard in the workplace. I don't have so many passions, and I also like a slower pace of life. The university teacher once advised me to stay in school for the postgraduate entrance examination, but I prefer high school to college."

The happiest time of his life so far was in middle school.

"It's pretty good." Gu Zhi said, "It's lively."

Even if I'm alone at home, it's nice to have a little fun at school.

"This is the class I lead." Shen Nian stopped at the gate of the second ([-]) class, and turned to look at Gu Zhi: "Go in and have a look?"

Gu Zhi nodded, and Shen Nian opened the door.

It's been almost half a month since the holiday, there was a thin layer of dust on the desk, the moment the door was opened, the dust in the light began to dance, but no matter how cheerful they danced, they didn't attract Gu Zhi's eyes, he never left When I came in, I didn't look anywhere else, and my eyes fell on the podium immediately.

That was the place where Nian Nian stayed most often. He walked up and stood in front of the desk, looked at the eraser and chalk on it, stroked the table lightly, as if he was imagining Shen Nian standing here, with a smiling expression on his face. It is also gentle.

Shen Nian stood under the podium and looked at him, feeling a little distressed for no reason.

This should be the person who is most familiar with him, and now he can only use his imagination to outline that picture.

In fact, there were only two or three things on the desk, and there was nothing to look at, but Gu Zhi seemed reluctant to take his eyes off it.Shen Nian asked him:

"Would you like to see what I look like in class?"

Gu Zhi raised his eyes to look at Shen Nian, there was surprise in his eyes: "Does Nian Nian want to teach me alone?"

"Well, one-on-one extra-curricular tutoring." Shen Nian said, "It's the same as before."

In the past, these two words made Gu Zhi feel a little dazed, but he couldn't refuse Shen Nian, especially since he also wanted to see what Shen Nian was like when he was a teacher, so he walked down from the podium and went to the classroom to arrange position, pulled off the upside-down chair on the desk, and sat down.

Shen Nian stood in front of the podium and looked at him, Gu Zhi also looked at him from the audience, the moment their eyes met, both of them laughed.

Shen Nian picked up a piece of chalk, turned around and wrote a few words on the blackboard: My eight years.

His writing on the blackboard was as good-looking as Shen Nian, but Gu Zhi understood Shen Nian's purpose for today by looking at those four words, and retracted the hand that was on the desk, put it under the desk, and grasped it.

He didn't like this topic very much, but he didn't stop Shen Nian from teaching this class. He was blank and curious about Shen Nian's eight years. Sitting here and listening to him, it was as if he could see all these years. It's the same as Shen Nian's life, those years without him are presented in front of him in this way, it seems that he doesn't feel so regretful.

Shen Nian looked at the only student in the class, and smiled lightly: "My eight years were very boring, please give me face and don't fall asleep if I'm sleepy."

Gu Zhi looked at him with a smile, but didn't speak.

"First of all, I want to thank classmate Gu Zhi." Shen Nian looked at him: "Because of you, I got a very good score in the college entrance examination, 688."

Gu Zhi laughed when he heard this, it was a kind of happy smile with a little pride, as if he had done something very meaningful and was recognized.This smile also made Shen Nian finally see a shadow of his youth in him, so he looked at him for a long time.

"I'm just a little bit regretful." Shen Nian said, "It's a pity that I couldn't share it with you at that time."

"It's not too late now." Gu Zhi said, "I'm very happy that you can go to Fudan as you wish."

"I didn't go to Shanghai." Shen Nian said.

Gu Zhi was stunned for a moment, and then he realized that there was still a smile on his face, but there was a bit of self-deprecation: "Are you afraid that I will go find you?"

"No." Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi: "I don't go to Fudan because of other reasons, but the most important reason is you."

Gu Zhi suddenly became nervous.

"You won't like it." Shen Nian said: "When you were by my side, you felt emotional towards me and Liang Qiu getting too close. If I went to Fudan to be in the same school as him, you would definitely not be happy if you found out. of."

Because of Shen Nian's explanation, Gu Zhi didn't speak for a long time. Under the desk that Shen Nian didn't see, his hands began to tremble a little, but it wasn't too serious. Then he laughed:

"You think too much. I'm not around anymore. In fact, you don't need to think about those things. I don't know who is around you."

"It's fine if I know it." Shen Nian said softly, but it didn't seem to be for Gu Zhi to hear. The voice was very soft, so light that if there was another person breathing in this classroom, Gu Zhi would not be able to hear it.

He heard it, but Shen Nian didn't give him a chance to ask questions, and continued to 'lecture'.

"I'm a little disappointed with my college life. It seems that none of the fantasies I once imagined have appeared, nothing new, or even a goal." Shen Nian was silent for a while: "Even the illusion that I would disappear after separation has not disappeared, I still will Seeing him, I could see you later, so I took a year off from school."

"Have I become your hallucination too?" Gu Zhi didn't seem to understand, and murmured, as if to himself: "Then what's the point of our separation?"

The hands under the desk trembled more and more, even though they were clenched tightly, it was still useless.

Shen Nian got down from the podium, walked towards Gu Zhi's direction, and stood slightly in front of his desk:

"The meaning is probably that if you can live a little better, even if it's only a little better than being by my side, it's worth it."

Gu Zhi didn't speak, he lowered his head to prevent Shen Nian from noticing his state, he hoped that Shen Nian would stop and stop asking, but Shen Nian didn't seem to feel his thoughts at this moment, so he opened his mouth:

"But now I'm not sure if it's really worth it. I'm not sure if I made a wrong decision. I even suspect that this decision hurt you."

"Gu Zhi, how have you been all these years?" Shen Nian didn't wait, and expressed all his worries: "I want to know what happened to you, where did you go after you left Jianjia Lane that year? I have never heard from you, and I have been looking for you for a long time, I..."

Shen Nian didn't finish his words, but was stopped by Gu Zhi's sudden movement of standing up, the chair slid on the floor with an ear-piercing sound, before Shen Nian could react, Gu Zhi had already grabbed his neck and pressed him down. On the desk, Shen Nian's waist was bumped and he frowned in pain, but Gu Zhi didn't seem to notice.

He couldn't see anything anymore, there was pain in his eyes.

"What did Nian Nian want me for? Huh?" Gu Zhi's hand gradually tightened, and his fingertips sank into Shen Nian's flesh: "It was you who left me at the beginning, so where would I go, what did I do, what happened and what happened? Are you related?"

The upper body was pressed on the desk, and the neck was stuck by him again. Shen Nian soon had trouble breathing. He grabbed Gu Zhi's wrist and tried to stop him, but Gu Zhi's eyes were filled with madness:

"I didn't come to you to talk about the past with you. I don't think there is anything to talk about about our past. Let's just spend the past few days as if nothing happened. Why do we have to talk about the past? Does it make you feel a sense of accomplishment? Doesn’t it feel good to see a person who only listens to you being left helpless by you?”

"I didn't..." Shen Nian said with difficulty, "Gu Zhi, I'm just, just worried about you."

"Worried about me?" Gu Zhi sneered: "What are you worried about me? Is it as crazy as before, and will it disturb your peaceful life now?"

Shen Nian wanted to deny it, but Gu Zhi pinched him even harder. He bent down to get closer to Shen Nian, and stroked his face with his other free hand, like stroking a work of art.

"I won't bother you. You are living well now, and you will be well after I leave. As for me, you don't have to worry about it. From the moment you don't want me, I'm not yours anymore. "

"What about me?" Shen Nian looked at him, his eyes were bloodshot due to suffocation, but he still looked at him: "Am I still yours?"

Gu Zhi suddenly seemed to freeze, looking at Shen Nian, his eyes regained a little clarity, realizing what he was doing, he hurriedly let go of his hand, but still trembling violently.

Shen Nian got up after a few seconds of relaxation, leaned against the edge of the desk and coughed lightly, Gu Zhi wanted to help him feel guilty but Shen Nian grabbed his hand.

Gu Zhi looked at him anxiously.

"I'm fine." Shen Nian held his hand, originally wanted to ask him why he was shaking, but it was miraculous that he didn't even shake at the moment he held it.

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds as if he didn't notice this change, looked up at him, there was no fear or blame in his eyes, just a little helpless, he even asked Gu Zhi in a joking tone:

"Why do you like to pinch people more than before?"

Gu Zhi was taken aback for a moment, and then apologized guiltily: "I'm sorry..."

"You haven't answered my question yet." Shen Nian didn't want to hear him apologize, and asked him: "Am I still yours?"