paranoid dependence

To be honest, the meals that Gu Zhi made were really not tasty, but for a novice who is cooking for the first time, they are already pretty good, so Shen Nian still ate a lot for the sake of face, and in the end Gu Zhi Stop him from eating:

"It's not delicious, don't eat so much, don't feel uncomfortable at night."

He is obviously a child who is 2 years younger than himself, but he speaks like an elder. For a moment, Shen Nian even saw Grandma Qin on Gu Zhi. He couldn't help being amused by his own thought, but he held back up.

"What is Nian Nian thinking about?" Gu Zhi asked him.

Shen Nian shook his head: "Nothing."

Gu Zhi stared at him curiously for a while, and he probably didn't think there was anything particularly important, so he compromised and didn't continue to ask.

But after such an interruption, Shen Nian really felt that he had eaten too much, so he stopped his chopsticks:

"Don't eat it, eat it tomorrow."

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian and didn't speak, but he could feel that Shen Nian was a little different, the look in his eyes was no longer guarded and probing, at least not at this moment, and his whole person seemed to soften, which made Gu Zhi It is very comfortable, and I feel that the blisters on my hands are not so painful.

After the meal, Shen Nian put the rest of the food in the refrigerator. Gu Zhi wanted to say don't put it, the dishes he cooked today are not worthy of wasting the electricity of the refrigerator, but he still didn't say anything, he likes to see Shen Nian cherish it so much Him, even if it's just the dishes he cooks.

The kitchen was messed up by Gu Zhi, a novice. Gu Zhi wanted to clean up the mess by himself, but Shen Nian didn't agree:

"No, I'll do it. I'll do the dishes while you cook. That's fair."

Gu Zhi stared at him for a few seconds, smiled and didn't persist, but he didn't leave either. Shen Nian was washing the dishes, so he wiped the dining table with a rag. read.

Today's Shen Nian made him confirm some things. He obviously longed for hugs and warmth, but because he was afraid of being hurt and refused, he stayed where he was and was on guard. Seeing his love and kindness for him, he cautiously released Own, lest this be a trap.

He may know that this way of dealing with things cannot get what he wants, but because he doesn't want to be hurt anymore, he would rather be alone.

Fortunately, Gu Zhi is brave, Gu Zhi is not afraid of pain, he has the courage to gamble again, if the bet is right, everyone is happy, if the bet is wrong, then the two of them may be relieved.

Take your time, take your time.

Today's attempt is a good start.

Gu Zhi was looking at him, Shen Nian knew it, but he didn't pay attention to it, and cleaned up on his own, he was in a good mood today, so good that the cold water in the tap water didn't even feel cold, but Shen Nian didn't expect that Gu Zhi would clean up by himself. As soon as he finished, he stepped over and held his cold, almost unconscious hand in his palm, and said:

"I will give Niannian warmth."

Shen Nian's numb fingers were stained with warmth and began to heat up slowly, Shen Nian looked at Gu Zhi and smiled slightly, this smile was caught by Gu Zhi, as if he had discovered something interesting, looked at Shen Nian:

"What are you laughing at?"

"It's nothing." Shen Nian withdrew his hand after finishing speaking, but still refused to tell him the answer.Gu Zhi's hand was already cold, but Gu Zhi didn't agree, he still held him tightly, but maybe he also realized that his hand was not warming him, so he took Shen Nian's hand and placed it directly on his own. Neck: "It's warmer here."

"No need, I'm not cold..."

"Have you ever heard a word from Niannian?" Gu Zhi interrupted him and looked at him: "Hands and feet are cold, no one hurts."

Shen Nian didn't speak, looked at Gu Zhi, and wanted to say that there was no scientific basis at all, but he swallowed the words again, no matter whether there was scientific basis or not, it was symptomatic for him, so what Gu Zhi said was true. It's not wrong.

"I think this sentence is wrong." Gu Zhi said with a smile, "Nian Nian will hurt me in the future."

Shen Nian was silent for a few seconds after hearing the words, but in the end he still pulled his hand away from Gu Zhi's neck, maybe it was hot, but Gu Zhi didn't stop him this time, he still looked at him with a smile, Shen Nian looked at him with Gu Zhi's eyes all over him Defeated by his gaze, he raised his hand and squeezed Gu Zhi's ear.

Gu Zhi kept looking at him, with a smile on his face, and there was a person named Shen Nian in his eyes.

The temperature is low, there is no heating facility inside the house, and the temperature outside is not much higher. Shen Nian didn't realize that there was no heating at home until he walked into the north room. Gu Zhi has always lived in such an environment. He looked at Gu Zhi :

"Is it cold to sleep at night?"

"Cold." Gu Zhi didn't lie: "It's much better than being in a dangerous building, at least my quilt is thick."

The heating in the village is bought by oneself to burn coal. This year, Shen Chongshan left long ago and never came back. He never thought of this. Now Shen Nian doesn’t have much money in his hand, so he can’t afford it, so he retreated ten thousand steps and said, Even if you can afford it, the home-heated heating is not easy to manage, it is easy to turn off the heat, and it is not suitable for children of Gu Zhi's age.

But continuing to be cold like this is not an option, people will freeze to death.

Standing at the door of Gu Zhi's room, Shen Nian saw the air conditioner hanging on the wall:

"You can turn on the air conditioner to keep warm."

Gu Zhi didn't speak, looked up at Shen Nian, Shen Nian understood what he meant in his eyes, just like he didn't want to use Shen Chongshan's money to go to school, he didn't want to wear the clothes Shen Chongshan bought for himself, he also didn't want to use the air conditioner Shen Chongshan bought , Shen Nian helplessly sighed:

"no need."

"But I just hate him, and everything he gives me."

"Is it because you hate it because you have expectations?" Shen Nian looked at him: "Are you still expecting him to come back to accompany you one day?"

Gu Zhi laughed when he heard the words: "Nian Nian, what are you worried about? Do you think I will?"

I don't know, but Shen Nian feels that there is emotion and hatred towards a person, all because of expectations, because the expectations were not responded to, or betrayal, he is such a person, he once had feelings for You Xiaoyue and Shen Chongshan. Expectation, and then gradually turned into resentment, but unlike Gu Zhi, he never said it out loud. Now he has no emotions and no expectations, so he can be indifferent to everything.

He would not resist what Shen Chongshan gave him.

He understood the difference between Gu Zhi and ordinary people, but he didn't understand his emotions towards Shen Chongshan.

Seemingly seeing Shen Nian's doubts, Gu Zhi smiled:

"Nian Nian, I have no expectations for Shen Chongshan. I come back, live here, accept his house and his money, all because of you. I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me. I just hate him, so I don’t want to have any relationship with him, it has nothing to do with anything else.”

"Then it's even more unnecessary." Shen Nian said: "There's no need to wrong yourself because of other people's mistakes, winter has just arrived, if you don't keep warm, you will be unbearable."

Gu Zhi didn't speak, Shen Nian looked at him sideways: "Be obedient, don't make things difficult for yourself."

After saying these words, Shen Nian walked back to his room. Gu Zhi stood at the door of the room, watched Shen Nian enter his own room, and then turned to look at the air conditioner in the room. For a while, I didn't know what I was thinking.

When Shen Nian came back from the bathroom after washing, he took the medicine box and went directly to Gu Zhi's room, but unexpectedly found that he was not there. After waiting for a while, he still didn't find anyone, so he thought about going to his room first, but he didn't expect Gu Zhi Zhi was actually in his own room, just standing by the bed, not knowing what he was thinking.

Shen Nian walked over and asked him with a smile: "What's wrong?"

Gu Zhi looked at Shen Nian, his eyes became softer: "Nian Nian smiled at me twice today."

Shen Nian was about to lift the quilt and paused for a moment, then turned to look at him with an awkward and puzzled expression, as if he didn't quite understand what Gu Zhi said, and also seemed to have no memory of laughing twice, but Gu Zhi also Without intending to explain, she directly took Shen Nian's hand, shook it lightly like every time before, and said:

"Nian Nian, go to sleep in my room, I've turned on the air conditioner."

Shen Nian never thought that Gu Zhi came to him because of this, but he didn't really want to go, he admitted that he had resistance to that room.

"Nian Nian just told me that emotions come only when you have expectations. Is it because you still have expectations for Shen Chongshan that you don't want to enter that room? Or, are you still blaming me?"

Shen Nian was almost amused by Gu Zhi's words, he never thought that Gu Zhi would persuade himself with what he just said, but Gu Zhi shook his hand again:

"Go, if you don't go, I will turn off the air conditioner."

It was a blatant threat, with himself.

Shen Nian shouldn't take this set, but he didn't say no.

Maybe it's Gu Zhi's attitude that people can't refuse, or maybe it's the bad but heart-warming dinner that night is still exerting its power, so Shen Nian can't refuse Gu Zhi, it's for his own good After all, he nodded softly and said:

"it is good."

Shen Nian hugged the quilt, Gu Zhi took the pillow and went to Gu Zhi's room, the air conditioner had probably been turned on for a while, in this north room like an icehouse, every hair was about to be turned on because of the warmth and comfort here, Gu Zhi put Shen Nian's pillow inside, and said to Shen Nian with a smile:

"Lie down, Niannian, I'm going to wash up, I'll be right back."

Shen Nian lay here on the bed that he had slept in for many years. He remembered what Shen Nian said just now. He asked himself if he felt emotional about this room because of Shen Chongshan. It doesn't matter, but even so, the scars of the past are not just forgotten. Shen Chongshan chose Gu Zhi to ignore his scars that have always been there.

This room, this air conditioner is the beginning.Seeing it will always bring up some bad memories, so Shen Nian avoids it if he can.

It was still very cold in the bed, Shen Nian shivered, but gradually the temperature rose, and it was not so difficult, even being blown by the air conditioner was very comfortable.

Gu Zhi came back at this time, maybe it was too cold, he came in quickly, closed the door quickly, and went to bed with lightning speed, got into the bed, Shen Nian could even hear him With the sound of teeth chattering, he turned his head to look at Gu Zhi, remembered the way Gu Zhi warmed his hands just now, and said:

"My quilt is warm, do you want to change it?"

Even though Gu Zhi was so cold, he still smiled when he turned his head to look at Shen Nian:

"Nian Nian, I don't want to part with it, it's okay, just wait."

Shen Nian didn't insist, but after hesitating, he still quietly stretched out his hand from under the quilt, and held Gu Zhi's cold hand because he just finished washing. The smile on Gu Zhi's face froze for a moment, as if he didn't expect Shen Nian to be so Do it, but it only took a few seconds for his eyes to turn from surprise to burning. He looked at Shen Nian, his eyes were so intense that they seemed to heat up the whole room, and Shen Nian felt a little uncomfortable.

It was as if he had done something he shouldn't have done and was being laughed at by him.

But he also warmed his hands just now, how did he do it naturally?

Shen Nian paused for a moment, then let go of Gu Zhi's hand, lifted the quilt and got out of bed, Gu Zhi looked at him with some surprise:

"Nian Nian, why do you..."

Gu Zhi's words stopped in the middle, he saw what Shen Nian wanted to do, at some point there was a medicine box on the desk, Shen Nian was carrying him over and put him on the bedside, and said to Gu Zhi:

"The burnt part of your hand needs to be smeared."

Hearing this, Gu Zhi got up from the bed and sat up. Although this posture made his back a little cold, he was willing.

Shen Nian didn't look at Gu Zhi, and took his hand carefully, the two blisters were not too big, they should be able to absorb themselves, so there was no need to deal with them, but the scalded area was still very red, Shen Nian applied the scald on him Gu Zhi watched Shen Nian apply the ointment quietly, without saying a word, until Shen Nian finished applying it, he seemed to be still immersed in a certain emotion and did not come out.

It wasn't until Shen Nian packed up the medicine box and lay down again that Gu Zhi had a little reaction, and he also lay down.

"Nian Nian." Gu Zhi looked at him sideways, his eyes were not much more relaxed than before, but he didn't give Shen Nian time to react, he opened his mouth directly and said to him: "I know you have no expectations for anything. , so I don’t dare to take another step forward, it’s okay, I dare! I will take a step forward in the future, and you try to take half a step, okay? I like you to treat me well, so that you can always be like this, I will treat you more Okay, you try to trust me, I won't let you down."

Shen Nian looked at him, unable to speak.

Gu Zhi was not disappointed with his silence, he still looked at him: "Let's be together well, always together, okay?"