East Berlin's June Boat Song

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The crowd gradually dispersed, we leaned against the oak tree, he huddled in my arms, I took off his glasses, and kept wiping the blood on his face, and only when his emotions gradually calmed down did he raise his eyes to look at me faintly .

"Why did you come?" He showed a childish smile, and a rare slyness appeared in his brown eyes.These childlike innocent tears scratched my heart hard, and I couldn't help but bowed my head and kissed him.

"You know why I'm here, Sasha."

He pursed his lips and smiled, his red lips were bright orange in the morning glow, his wet eyelashes were drooping, his nose was ruddy, his cheeks were rosy like a girl, and his expression was as innocent as he wanted.

He was just as beautiful, I thought, as his soul.

"You don't hate me?" He said bluntly, he put his hand on my chest and stroked my face very gently.

"I really wish I knew how to hate you." I grabbed his hand and placed it on my left heart: "But it doesn't listen, it still likes you."

"So you're here to see me for the last time?"

I trembled, not knowing how to answer.To be honest, I didn't think clearly about this question.

Why did I come to see him?

Want to find out why he rebelled?Or help him escape?

I lowered my eyebrows to look at him, he was peacefully huddled in my arms, his eyes were clear and far away, falling on the cornflowers dancing with the wind, how could he have any intention of running away?

I pinch his jaw, forcing him to look at me.

"What do you want me to do?" My tears dripped on his face, his eyes flickered unconsciously, trying to break free.

"Look at me." I put more strength into my hand and forcefully broke his face.

"You knew I was coming, didn't you?" I looked him straight in the eyes.

"You gave me a hint before that, did you already guess this day?"

"No, maybe, all of this is done step by step according to your rhythm."

"Have you considered how I and Julian feel?"

He frantically avoided my questioning, but I still pinched his face, two bright tears slipped from the corners of his eyes, and he smiled abruptly.

"What if I say, I don't want to consider any of your feelings?"

"You're lying!" I angrily put my arms around him and bit his lips hard.Hearty and painful, I sucked him violently, clamped him irresistibly, stroked him, and even bit him at the end.

He was right, sooner or later I would offer to kiss him.

Because I'm afraid I won't be able to kiss him again.

I made him hurt, he couldn't help snorting, I raised my head to hold his face, and found a trace of blood oozing from the corner of his lips.

He was gasping for breath, staring at me with tears in his eyes.I stroked his thinner face and kissed him again.

"Do you still want it? Sasha, you know I'll give you whatever you want now."

I put my hand under his white clothes and stroked him extremely tenderly, my hot breath intertwined, but he pushed me away with a smile.

"No, that's enough."

He raised his head and planted a kiss on my lips, saying meaningfully: "That's enough."

I let go of him, and there were red marks on his white wrist that I pinched, bright and bright like scars, which made me feel very distressed.

He stood up and reached out to me, and I grabbed his hand and stood up.

"Stay with me for a few days." He bent his eyes and said, "You will know everything you want to know, and the matter will end satisfactorily."

I stood up in a daze, and followed him into a wooden house behind the consulting room.The wooden house is very simple, with a bed, a table and chairs, and a few thick books on the table.He washed away the dried blood on his hands in the pool, the red was lingering in the clear water, and his white and slender fingers were as unreal as phantoms under the water.

He put on clean clothes and turned to look at me: "Have you had breakfast yet?"

I shook my head blankly.

He took out a piece of black bread, spread a bit of butter on it, and handed it to me.

"Let's eat something. Let's go to the back mountain to pick berries later, shall we?"

I gulped down the bread and swallowed it with tears.

He wiped my tears helplessly, and said softly, "If you are so emotional, your stomach will hurt in a while."

I shoveled the rest of the bread into my mouth, took his hand, and mumbled, "Go pick berries now."

He put a poncho on me with a smile: "Then let's go."

The forest is very quiet, you can hear the soft chirping of birds and insects, accompanied by the slight rustling of leaves, and the moist air makes our eyelashes hang fine and dense water droplets, which may cover the tears.The dry yellowing grass was wet in the earth, and the overgrown bushes bore all kinds of flowers and berries.

The two of us walked through it with light steps, and he seemed to be familiar with the mountain roads, just like the local aborigines.He was wearing a light gray waterproof outdoor suit, carrying a small and exquisite bamboo basket covered with floral cloth, and was very serious and focused on looking for berries in the thorn bushes.I followed behind him, sometimes staring at his back in a trance, sometimes I would pick one or two fruits and throw them into his bamboo basket, completely absent-minded.

"Alan said that the berries are the sweetest at this time of year, and they are the best for making jam."

I was startled when he suddenly mentioned Alan.

Seeing that I was stunned, he looked up at me: "Why are you surprised? Isn't everything already clear?"

He straightened up and wiped the sweat from his forehead, looking at the village below the mountain: "This is his real hometown."

"He's English," I said.

"No, it can only be said that his nationality is British, but he grew up here most of his life. It's a beautiful place."

"He loves you." I said no mercy.

Sasha glanced at me lightly, smiled and said, "I know."

I lowered my head and choked for a bit, and asked in a murmur, "Then you came here to remember him?"

"Yes." He replied frankly: "I like him very much, he is a good boy, although he always doesn't listen to me..."

"He won't want you to call him a good boy, because what he wants is your love."

"But haven't I already given you my love?"

He looked at me with burning eyes, and I avoided it subconsciously.

There was his chuckle in the wind, and the sound stretched back to the long time, and he said while picking berries: "I met him after the war, in 1945, when he was a teenager, you know, At that time, the life of the Germans was not easy, he was of mixed English and German, and his father was British. This is very important, because with this identity, I can help him go to the UK when he is in distress."

"You saved him."

"Yes Rhine, I saved him. So when Richard sent the agent to carry out the plan in 49, I was surprised to find that it was him. At that time, I was very angry and told him to go back, but he was always willful and refused to listen. As for me, I still persevered in looking for you, and when I found you, I brought him to me as if to take credit. Of course, it was also because he knew that I always wanted to see you. Rhine, you know, I was the one who asked Julian to find you The message was told to Richard, and it was me who monitored that call."

I nodded silently, and a hook was hooked in my heart, which hurt very much.

Sasha took out a handkerchief and wiped a raspberry, walked up to me and stuffed it into my mouth.

"It's very sweet, try it."

The sweet and sour juice filled my mouth, I looked up at him, he just smiled lightly and said: "You can hate me, after all, if I don't tell Richard about this and don't participate in this plan, You won't... and you won't..."

"Nothing?" I grabbed his hand and suddenly became angry: "Go on, why don't you go on, what, guilt is about to make you breathless?"

"Sasha, why do you want me to hate you? You clearly know that I can't hate you, and I also know that you never stop regretting your decision at that time."

"How do you know? Maybe, maybe I'm enjoying it..."

"Then why did you shed your tears? And why did you fall in love with me?"

I held his face and forced him to look at me: "You're in so much pain that you can't stand it anymore, are you? Then why don't you turn around?"

Sasha's eyes widened slightly, and clear tears rolled down his face, but he still had a clear smile.

"Because I don't regret everything except you. Because I don't regret it, I won't look back."

"What about Julian? Have you ever thought about him, he already guessed it was you, he didn't know what to do, his pain was unspeakable...he insisted on everything, you don't feel sorry for him ?"

Sasha smiled calmly, and said in a daze: "Of course my heart aches, I am so heartbroken, I wish I could take his place in the pain... But, this is the end of the matter, and it cannot be undone anyway."

"No." I pierced him mercilessly: "There must be many redeeming moments in your scheme, but you don't want to, because you are torturing yourself, and you stab your heart with guilt for everyone. Heart, you're a masochist, and you're right, you're having fun!"

The voice was full of resentment, and after venting, he held him in his arms with great regret, crying and said: "But we all love you so much, Julian, I, Alan, everyone loves you deeply , Sasha, why are you doing this? Why!"

He broke free from my arms gently, and wiped my tears helplessly: "You are always so impatient, didn't I say that I would tell you everything after staying with me for a few days?"

"And then? So what if you know everything? What are you going to do?"

Sasha turned to look at me: "What do you want me to do?"

I was stunned, then gritted my teeth and said, "I want you to go to America!"

With the same movement and expression as many years ago, even more determined, I grabbed his wrist and said: "Go to Richard, the Americans will use all their strength to keep you, as long as you can bring them benefits, they will protect you, or you will..."

"What will happen? Will it be purged?" Sasha asked lightly, as if talking about an unimportant matter.

"So have you ever thought about it, if I go to the United States, what will Julian, you, and Sonia do?"

I widened my eyes, but he still smiled softly.

"Rhein, everything has a solution, trust me, okay?"

I backed away in disbelief: "How do you want me to trust you now?"

"But after all, I'm honest enough to tell you everything."

He walked in step by step, and I leaned against a thick and rugged tree trunk, and it was impossible to retreat.With a moist smile in his eyes, he leaned forward and kissed me as if he had succeeded.

"You always say you don't believe me, but you clearly believe me."

"Your eyes betrayed you, that's why I fell in love with you, my dear, you are always so sincere that people are afraid, but you are unconsciously infatuated to the point of trembling, after all, for people like us— —”

He lowered his head and chuckled, "Sincerity is treasure, sincerity is love."

He took my hand and looked up at the dense forest. Sunlight slanted through the forest, beams of light were like lights on a stage, surrounded by mist, and the light seemed to transform into substance and be within reach.

A beam of light fell on his beautiful face without any bias, he slightly closed his eyes, the wet eyelashes shone with broken light, as bright as crystal, and he raised the corners of his lips.

"When the Tyndall effect occurs, light takes on a concrete shape. Rhine, I've read in the Bible that God created light on day one, so when was love created?"

"Love is not created, love is born naturally. Love is born in the heart of God, and God bestows it on us."

He lowered his melancholy and smiling eyes, full of deep sadness.

"So, love is irrational, involuntary, and without reason."

"What a precious gift, but should I be grateful?"

He showed a completely desperate smile, but it was fleeting, and before I could see it, he changed into a smile of great joy.The vigor and vigor of a young man appeared on him, he kissed the back of my hand lightly, and even the tone of his voice became cheerful.

"Look, the time is just right, let me take you to see the most beautiful scenery in the world, okay?"

He led me along the winding mountain road towards the top of the mountain. We walked slowly among the bushes, like two teenagers climbing high.The dew wet our trouser legs and clothes, and we were speechless all the way.