East Berlin's June Boat Song

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His eyes widened suddenly, and a wave of panic rolled up from the bottom of the lake. The corners of his lips trembled imperceptibly, and he squeezed out a few words: "What did you say?"

"What if the result of the investigation is unacceptable to you?" My blood surged, I put him around the bathtub, and said condescendingly: "If you can't accept it, what should you do? Are you so strong? You Are you not afraid at all?"

He stared at me in a daze for a moment, his green eyes betrayed his ever-changing mood under his calm face.After a long time, he put his hand on my chest and pushed me back.

"I have nothing to accept."

But it was obvious that he couldn't hold back his panic anymore. After pushing me away, he stood up, walked out of the bathtub, stood still for a moment and looked back at me suddenly, a cold lightning flashed in his eyes.

"I don't want to hear anything more about it from you." He said almost threateningly, "Don't say a word about it."

If you don't mention it, can you change the result if you don't mention it?

Over the years, I have long been unable to be reckless and frank in the past. My young heart was tortured by dull emotions, and I gradually forgot my original self.Weakly slumped in the bathtub, submerged in hot water, a huge sense of powerlessness hit me deeply, and I realized that I couldn't hold on for much longer.

If I never had it, maybe it would be nice to lose it.

I smiled self-deprecatingly and closed my eyes.

One month later, in September 1959, it was another golden autumn.

I still remember how depressed the atmosphere of the white mansion was because of the gloomy face of a certain general. Even the old comrade Ansolov shook his head and hid aside, unwilling to enter the mansion.And my dear Sonia, her beautiful face is even more gloomy, obviously she also realizes that something is wrong.

"I'm afraid there will be a big problem this time." Sonia sighed softly: "It seems that the problem is not in Karlshorst, maybe..." Sonia subconsciously kept quiet and stopped talking.

I came to the third floor and saw Julian standing in front of the window alone drinking wine.

Recently, his figure has always been so lonely. He is obviously in a high position, but he is so lonely that it makes people feel distressed.

It seemed that the sunlight could easily drown him, but he insisted on standing in front of the window.

He feels that he is strong and that he can rise to the challenge.

Obviously she was just trying to hold on, but she couldn't bear to show a little weakness.

"The problem is in the center." I walked to him, poured myself a glass of wine, and said in a very calm voice, "The intelligence comes from East Germany, but the people are not from East Germany."

He gave me a cold sideways glance.

"Deputy Director Mueller stretched his hands too far. Why, there are not enough spies against East Germany, and there are also anti-Soviet spies?"

I didn't care about his sarcasm, and said lightly, "Sasha won't help you catch it?"

He trembled slightly, his Adam's apple slid up and down a bit: "He has other things."

"What else?" I followed closely.

"What else can the KGB do?"

I sneered, stuck to him, and whispered in his ear: "You don't know what he is doing at all, and you can't find him at all. If my guess is right, none of you know what he is doing." where."

With a bang, I was pushed on the marble table, and the wine bottle fell down with a clatter.

The wine mixed together, entangled and spread on the stone platform, soaking my cotton shirt.

I stared straight at him, not letting him go.

"What exactly are you trying to say?" His chest heaved violently, the corners of his eyes were rarely red, and he tried his best to control his anger.I almost never see him out of control like this.

I broke free from his grasp, ran into the bedroom, rummaged in the closet for a while, then pulled out the scarf and ran back to him, stuffing the scarf into his hand.

I stopped him mercilessly, gritted my teeth and said, "Go and find out what this scarf is!"

His eyes were suddenly flustered, and he didn't dare to look at me at all.I grabbed his jaw and forced him to meet my gaze, and said word by word: "I can only say this, Julian, and then you can figure it out!"

I let go of him abruptly, and stepped back step by step.There was a lot of forbearable despair in his eyes, and I didn't dare to look at it anymore.

I turned around cruelly, and heard his voice behind me.

"you're right."

"Nobody can find him."

"He... disappeared..."

I turned around in a daze, he bowed his head like a child who did something wrong, the silver hair on his forehead blocked the emotions in his eyes, but his clenched fists trembled slightly, the veins on the back of his hands burst out, obviously suppressing the panic in his heart.He actually looked like this, and my heart inevitably ached again.

"So, has the committee settled?"

"No...but sooner or later."

I felt my whole body fall, and despair came over me.His sincere answer made me feel his helplessness and powerlessness. This matter has already exceeded his authority.

He suddenly looked up at me with a bleak smile.

"No one from the Second General Administration will follow you, and neither will the GRU."

He approached step by step, caressing my face: "Rhein, you are no longer my informant."

The voice and eyes were so gentle that I couldn't believe it. I grabbed his hand in horror: "What do you mean?"

"literal meaning."

He held my shoulder and kissed my lips deeply. This kiss was full of tenderness, but it hurt me very much.

"During this period, don't come here again. Go back to the Stasi and follow Milk well."

He smiled sweetly, with the gentleness of a breeze blowing on his face. I was stunned and didn't even realize it. He was pushed out of the piano room, and the door was already closed.

"No! Julian! No!" I frantically knocked on the door of the piano room, only to hear the sound of the piano playing from inside.

- Mozart's Piano Sonata No. [-] in A minor.

The extremely long phrases, depressing emotions to the point of explosion, my knocking and crying outside the door were completely drowned out, over and over again, the dark and violent sadness could not hide under the flying hands.

I couldn't guess what he was going to do, his pain seeped out through the crack of the door, and burrowed into my veins like a leech, which made me tremble uncontrollably.

The sound of the piano doesn't stop.

I left the White Mansion in a daze.

It is not easy to find a way out of the desperate situation. I sat in the office of the Stasi headquarters thinking for a whole night and decided to put all my eggs in one basket.

I figured it all out a few weeks ago, when I prayed on a whim one morning and saw a divine flash of light on my chest in my reflection in the window.I picked up the cross in a daze, showing a sad smile.

I knew everything that morning.

Memories float back to 1954 in an instant. Sasha, who looked at the village in the valley, left just at the moment when the sun was setting in the west. The twilight was dim, and his brown hair was dyed with a layer of gorgeous gold.

His gaze was distant and sad, but I didn't understand it then.

I just remember him saying, Rhine, if one day you can't find me, come here.

Very shallow and light voice, like predicting the future.

I covered my mouth and cried silently, tears streaming down my face.

Dresden, an der Elbe, Geheimnis.

Sasha, are you there?

After a few days of probing, I confirmed that there are indeed no people from the Second General Bureau and the GRU behind me, let alone Richard. I regained my freedom, so I used the name of the Stasi to carry out missions. , quietly came to Dresden.

Along the way, I always paid attention to whether I was being followed, and played disguise in a decent manner. Although it was clumsy, it at least played a certain role.I wandered around Dresden for a few more days before diving towards Geheimnis in the mountains.

Nobody knew how nervous I was, what if Sasha wasn't there?

However, if Sasha is there, what kind of scene should our meeting be like?

I drove the car on the winding mountain road, which was still a gravel road, and still tortured the tires of the car.After so many years, this village is still hidden, and even the most basic road has not been built here.

One morning in mid-September, I finally caught a glimpse of Geheimnis shrouded in morning mist.

Just like I came with him in 54, the beautiful and simple villages are full of smoke, the autumn mist is in the orange-red morning glow, the larks are singing from the mountains, and the Elbe River is shining like the Milky Way.

I go into the village.

Almost the moment I got off the car, I could be sure that he was here.

My instinct for no reason told me that he was here, he must be here.

But I don't have a clue about his exact location. I wanted to grab a local to ask, but I didn't dare.

Rhine, Rhine, you are always so cowardly, how long will you run away?

I wandered around the market and saw that there were still stalls selling handmade souvenirs on the street, and I couldn't help but choke up a bit.Just when I was aimlessly and distracted, I only heard a yell from a distance, and the street vendors suddenly made a fuss.

"It's no good, it's no good!" A man dressed as a hunter grabbed an old woman who was buying milk and said, "Go and have a look! Say it's no good!"

The old woman screamed, knelt on the ground and began to pray to the sky, her old face was covered with tears, and her pale lips were weakly moaning.

"He wants fresh milk, fresh milk! Fresh milk will make him better!"

The crowd gathered around, helping each other, comforting each other, the villagers flocked together, chattering, and I quickly figured out what was going on.The old woman's son had an accident while hunting and is being treated in the village clinic.

My heart trembled.

"Go quickly! Dr. Alexander told me to take you there quickly!"

The hunter grabbed the old woman and walked towards the east of the village. The eyes of the crowd followed them, some shook their heads in pity, some looked like they were watching the fun, and some enthusiastically caught up with them.

I followed silently.

A stone hut behind a huge oak tree was full of people, the yard was full of blue and purple cornflowers, the sun was getting stronger, and there were hoarse cries from inside the house, and the villagers around the periphery began to wipe away their tears.

I still stood there until he broke through the crowd and ran out in panic.

The white clothes were covered with blood, like manjusawa blossoms blooming in the snow field. He staggered and ran under the oak tree, crouched slowly while supporting the tree trunk, and lowered his head weakly.

I saw his bloody hands trembling, hot tears dripping on the flowers under his feet one by one.

His soul was being severely whipped, and the pain was almost overflowing.

I walk towards him.

"Are you okay?" I tried my best to suppress the trembling of my voice.

He raised his head in a daze, looked at me, and suddenly burst into tears.

There was no blood on her pale face, and her beautiful eyes were full of fear and panic, as well as bottomless guilt and sadness.

He rushed up and hugged me tightly.

"I tried my best Rhine! I tried my best to save him, all night, but I still couldn't save him. He is so young, and has such a bright future and future, but there is nothing I can do, Rhine, I couldn't save him. !I am a sinner... I am guilty..."

He was lying on my shoulder almost crying, and I hugged his violently undulating body, my heart was so painful that it was about to shatter.

"You did your best, you did your best..."

"Stop punishing yourself..."

"Please, my Sasha, stop torturing yourself..."

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PS: The committee refers to the Soviet National Committee, the leading body of the KGB.The National Committee of the Soviet Union consists of 17 to [-] people, responsible for studying the most important issues, and adopting corresponding resolutions on these issues, which will take effect in the form of an order of the Chairman of the National Security Council.After the resolution took effect, it became a requirement that all national security agencies must implement.