God said I would meet you

Lin Jinyu was like this, like a psychopath, crying for a while and stopping for a while, and then couldn't stop crying for a while.

This road is remote, but there will still be cars and pedestrians passing by. I don’t know if someone is casting strange eyes. He can’t notice it at all. He has been suppressed for too long, and there are too many emotions in his heart, as if only tears are them the only carrier.

The speeding cars brought the whistling wind, Lin Jinyu sat on the curb, cried intermittently for a while, and finally died down for the time being.

He didn't become happy, but felt that the tears were clean and couldn't flow out.

After crying, he began to think about Zhang Xinli.

Do people who break up always have fantasies and unrealistic expectations? During the month after the breakup, Lin Jinyu secretly imagined how reluctant and sad Zhang Xinli would be after breaking up, and how regretful he would turn back one day I came to him, and he told him reservedly, coldly and expressionlessly: I told you, I only love you once.

But finally no.

He should have known that it was Zhang Xinli, he never regretted it, never took the initiative to text or call every time he had a quarrel, never bowed his head and said nice things to coax others, and of course he would not keep him after breaking up.

Lin Jinyu stared at the slanting light spot cast by the street lamp between her knees, thinking: Throwing away is throwing away, for him, everything is over, he will never come back, never want me again.

...So sorry.

A person will regret countless things in his life, regret not learning a musical instrument when he was young, regret not getting more points in the college entrance examination, regret not doing what he wanted to do when he was healthy and young. At this moment, after finally realizing that Zhang Xinli left, Lin Jinyu really felt regret.

I regret that I didn't ask Zhang Xinli not to break up that day.

He didn't know if it was the same when others broke up. At that time, he would be dazed, feel like being struck by lightning, and feel sad, but he would also feel angry, really angry, like a stick in his throat, and he couldn't let go of that breath.

No matter what the reason, why do you want to break up?He has worked so hard for so long without breaking up, and the lying lip will break up as soon as he touches it?

When she was fifteen or sixteen years old, Lin Jinyu told Zhang Xinli that what he hated the most was when he clearly agreed, but later told him he couldn't do it.

It's better not to promise at the beginning, don't give hope and let people down.

Even if there are thousands of difficulties and dangers, it is the same.

So he left full of resentment, with such a resolute attitude of not looking back, if Zhang Xinli still had such reluctance, would he come after him?

Lin Jinyu wiped his face. He acted chic and calm in front of everyone, but in fact, he always hoped that Zhang Xinli would come to him. He waited for Zhang Xinli to come to him, so after so many days, he still In Shanghai, I didn't go anywhere, but finally, as expected, I just had a daydream.

... Zhang Xinli won't turn back, so what if it's the other way around?Lin Jinyu thought: If time was turned back, and I went back to that day, if I begged him in a low voice, would he still be so soft-hearted.

Insects could be heard faintly from the grass on the side of the road, and Lin Jinyu's shadow shrunk into a dark circle under the streetlight directly above his head. He fell into a trance after crying. Will Zhang Xinli soften his heart?Love has been worn out in life, and Lin Jinyu began to feel that he didn't love herself, at least not as much as he thought, so she wouldn't be soft-hearted towards him.

Just as he was struggling between repeated affirmations and doubts, Lin Jinyu heard the rustling sound of shoes running over the road not far away.

The sound was very slight, but in the silent night, he still noticed it.

Lin Jinyu heard it, but didn't look up, he thought it was a passerby - but a very soft voice came from not far away, the voice was mature and reserved, with the calmness and temptation unique to Bensi men.

"Xiao Fan?"

——That was actually Ning Shengkai, he caught up with Lin Jinyu earlier than Lin Ye because he had a car.

When Lin Jinyu was sitting here crying, he was watching in the car, and he heard what Evan said when he dragged Lin Jinyu. Just as he guessed after he realized something was wrong, Lin Jinyu really broke up.

Ning Chengkai walked over slowly, stood still two or three meters away from him, and called him again: "Xiao Fan."

Lin Jinyu was startled, he almost forgot the name he made up at the time, he thought that Ning Chengkai had just arrived, and he didn't see him howling in embarrassment, so he quickly wiped his eyes and pretended nothing happened: " Is there something...why are you here?"

"I... just arrived." Ning Chengkai actually drove a slow car all the way and followed him in the distance: "Looking at you running out suddenly, I'm curious about what happened."

"It's nothing, suddenly I'm in a bad mood." Although Lin Jinyu stopped crying, but his eyes were still a little red, he turned his face away, wanting to quickly end the conversation: "Mr. Ning, I'm sorry to bother you, but it's nothing to worry about. "

In this life, Ning Shengkai said that he was serious when it came to love, and he was not serious when he said that he was not serious. Unlike Lin Jinyu, he realized that in the era when he was gay, homosexuality was still a serious mental illness, so Ning Shengkai took it for granted. He spent his entire teenage years in extreme camouflage.

Probably because he has never had the youthful and innocent campus love that many people have, so he always unconsciously pursues what he has never had.

Ning Chengkai silently looked at Lin Jinyu, watched him turn his face away, watched him pretend to be calm, that face was handsome, young and full of vigor, never showing flattery or flattery, he said to a person that love is true Love.

"?" The flying insects disturbed people, and Lin Jinyu didn't hear the answer for a while, so she couldn't help but turned her face and looked at him suspiciously.

"..." There was silence all around, except for the ticking of his wristwatch. Ning Chengkai likes to be decent, calm and personable. Everyone is willing to be together, and if they don't see each other, they will disappear immediately. There is no need to be demanding. He has never been like this Worried about not being able to get someone.

"Xiao Fan," Ning Chengkai looked into his eyes and said, "Come with me."

This was his second invitation, and the expensive Lange perpetual calendar glowed phosphorescent in the night: "...I can give you a lot."

Money does give people a lot of things, perhaps almost everything. Lin Jinyu was a little surprised. Hearing these two familiar words, he said, "...you have already said it."

He also answered.

"It was different back then than it is now." Ning Chengkai was well-dressed, the varnish of his leather shoes glistened under the street lamps, and his shirt and tie were all irregular.

Lin Jinyu said, "Same, same two people."

He is not Ning Shengkai's former boyfriends, Lin Jinyu is not interested in all the material things he can give, he has all those things before, and what Ning Shengkai can give him is not what he is interested in.

"Then..." Ning Chengkai said slowly: "Xiaofan, if I don't get married, will you go with me?"

He had never even known the real name of the person in front of him. Lin Jinyu looked up at him, and the other person looked serious, not joking.

After a while, Lin Jinyu opened his mouth and said, "No."

He has met all kinds of gays, some good, like Lin Ye, and some bad, like Zhao Wujie.Ning Shengkai... probably the kind that is neither good nor bad.

Ning Shengkai seemed a little frustrated by the expected yet unexpected answer, but he still hesitated, as if he wanted to say something to impress him.

"He has already said that he will not go with you."

Lin Ye, who arrived in a hurry, panted, supported the tree beside the street lamp, and said to Ning Chengkai, "Didn't you hear?"

He's not very good at track and field, running all the way non-stop, his lungs are about to explode, Lin Ye complained in his heart while talking to Ning Chengkai, Lin Jinyu is too good at running, could it be that broken love gives people strength?

Ning Shengkai was stunned for a moment, he didn't know Lin Ye, but he saw Lin Ye rushing out to chase someone, so he guessed that they were close.

Lin Ye slowed down for a few seconds, finally breathed in enough oxygen, straightened up and said, "I know you, I heard about you from Evan."

It's just that in Evan's narration, his image is not very positive-what a positive image can be for a 35-year-old man who has raised college students.

Ning Shengkai said, "I've never heard of you."

"It doesn't matter," Lin Ye said, "Mr. Ning, I know you are rich, but no one here cares...I think you can go about your own business, and I will take care of my friend."

This was a blatant chasing away, Ning Chengkai looked at Lin Jinyu, who didn't say anything, and didn't look like he planned to say anything.

The wrong person is probably wrong, no matter how many times you do it again, it will be the same.

Ning Chengkai lowered his head and smiled, his elegant leather shoes made a rustling sound on the road, and the phosphorescence of the blue dial gradually faded away in the night—he left.

Lin Ye watched him leave and heaved a sigh of relief.

Lin Jinyu said at this moment: "...you are really a mother-in-law, do you think I am the kind of person who will accept maintaining a relationship?"

"It's not like that," Lin Ye turned around and squatted down in front of him, getting down to the same height as Lin Jinyu who was sitting on the dirty curb: "However, people who are broken in love may do things that they regret on the spur of the moment. "

Lin Jinyu looked at him expressionlessly: "It's just you."

In fact, he felt that he had already done it, and walking out of the hospital gate without doing anything was something he regretted now.

But that doesn't matter anymore, Zhang Xinli has probably been away from Shanghai for dozens of days, he deleted Lin Jinyu's QQ, WeChat and other contact information, and Lin Jinyu threw away the necklace that can bring back countless memories, and they broke up. Erjing, can no longer be repaired.

Lin Ye squatted on tiptoe, looked at Lin Jinyu for several seconds, then suddenly stretched out his hand to touch his face, and said, "Cry if you want to cry, maybe half of your crying was interrupted by that person... It's okay, there is no one here, you You can continue, I promise to treat it as if I didn’t see it.”

"?" Lin Jinyu was hit by his words, but she didn't want to admit it, so she said angrily, "Who told you that I was crying? Out of my mind?"

"Your eyes are very red," Lin Ye said, "Stop pretending, Jinyu."

"Don't call me that," Lin Jinyu turned away, "...don't."

His parents and family members called him by his nickname, Xu Zhao and other school buddies called him by nicknames, ordinary friends called him by his full name, only Zhang Xinli would call him by his first name without his last name.

Lin Ye said: "There is nothing shameful, true love, beautiful youth, you should cry for them, many people want to cry but have no chance."

There is really no chance, a lot of people are either single or in a relationship, but they have never been bound or loved like them.

Lin Jinyu turned her head to stare at him, Lin Ye didn't avoid his gaze, but said, "Do you regret it?"

Lin Jinyu's hands on his knees unconsciously clenched into fists, and his eyes sparkled: "... At that time, I slapped him," he whimpered slightly, and what he said seemed to be similar to Lin Jinyu's. Ye's question had nothing to do with it: "Later, I often wondered if it had something to do with that time when he gave up... If he minds, then call back, it's okay, it's just..."

He muttered, slowly put his forehead on Lin Ye's shoulder, grabbed his clothes tightly, and said, "...just don't leave me."