God said I would meet you

Just at this time, Evan happened to say, "Well...you have passed the Central Orchestra level, right? Then... will you play "The Sorrow of Love"? It's not difficult, but it has a high degree of freedom and is very suitable."

For some people, breaking up is like a jug of wine, the taste is not very strong when it comes out of the cellar, or there is some kind of self-protection mechanism in the human brain, which keeps sending instructions to all parts of the body: I'm fine, I'm fine Okay, I want to be calm, happy, smile, whatever, but I can't be sad or cry.

But after waiting for a while, the new wine becomes stale, and the spicy, pungent, choking, unrelieved air stagnated in the chest suddenly rushes to the throat and heart on a certain quiet or noisy night .

When Evan finished asking, he let go of Lin Jinyu's hand, and a string of notes slowly poured out from Lin Jinyu's fingertips. It wasn't even completely driven by subjective consciousness, but there were too many memories flooding in with those famous names. his mind-

What can break through a person's last line of defense and make him suddenly realize that the person who left deep marks in his life is really gone?It's hard to say, maybe it was an unexpected meeting a few days after the breakup, maybe it was a piece of news about him that I found out from a friend inadvertently, or maybe it was just one day when I suddenly heard a song that I had listened to with him.

Those things that are small and big like sesame seeds are like a sharp thorn at a certain time, and when they penetrate into people's hearts, they seem to pierce a balloon that has been inflated for too long.

At that moment, Lin Jinyu felt that she was overwhelmed.

Evan took a step back, but he was still very close. He noticed that Lin Jinyu seemed to be "distracted". He delayed the beat of the song, but every note was still accurate.

Lin Ye slowly stood up straight.

"It's pretty good," Evan said, "Your basic skills are really solid, and your hand shape is also very standard, but you can be more relaxed, and the rhythm is also..."

The comment was very reasonable, but Lin Jinyu didn't listen at all, his eyes were blank and straight, and the light reflected in his brown pupils, like a bonfire dancing.

"The Sorrow of Love", the first theme is resentful and sad, the second part is sweet and bright, quietly telling the ups and downs in love and the greenness of memories-it is the last look back at the end of love.

"..."

The sound of the piano stops abruptly when it enters the saddest part.

"...I'm sorry." Lin Jinyu glanced around, he seemed to be suddenly flustered, at a loss, and suddenly lost.

Evan didn't know why, and asked, "What's wrong?"

It would be great if Zhou Hui didn't make that call to him today. He wouldn't be pulled back to the situation where he was intern with Zhang Xinli, and he wouldn't be forced to remember that name again, get associated with him again, and do it for him. Greet people, ask them to nominate, to vote.

In this way, he and Evan usually go back after drinking, and will not have the opportunity to enter here and talk about this song-when Lin Jinyu played this song that year, half of his face was reflected by the warm firelight, and his eyelashes were drooping. Casting a few shadows on his face, Zhang Xinli was only looking at him at that time.

Evan was still talking to him, but Lin Jinyu couldn't hear his voice. He handed the piano back to Evan and said, "I'm sorry...I don't think I can."

"Can't what?" Evan still couldn't understand him at all. He only felt that Lin Jinyu's mood seemed to fluctuate greatly, so he came up to check and care, and even wanted to touch Lin Jinyu's face.

Lin Jinyu dodged, then turned around, and ran out as if avoiding something.

"Lin Jinyu!"

……

A new band outside is getting ready to play, but the first song hasn't started yet, there are scattered chatter all around, but not loud, people are waiting for the band to start.

Lin Jinyu rushed out from the backstage, quickly walking past one table after another, no one knew where he was going, not even himself.

Evan followed after calling his name, Lin Ye followed closely behind, Lin Jinyu heard it but didn't look back.

"Lin Jinyu!" Evan was puzzled by Monk Zhang Er, he had to figure out what was going on, he ran a few steps, and finally grabbed Lin Jinyu before he ran out of the gate: "What's wrong with you? Can you tell me?" say?"

"I'm nothing..." Ning Chengkai sat not far away and looked at them. Lin Jinyu's heart was beating like a drum and his head was swollen. After a moment of silence, he said, "Evan, thank you for being with me during this time, but I miss you. Not ready to fall in love with another person."

How could he be prepared? Every day and every night after the breakup, Lin Jinyu's mind was full of Zhang Xinli, only Zhang Xinli.

It is said that dreams are the manifestation of a person's subconscious mind. When he is awake, he can use his reason to suppress himself, but as Lin Ye said, his heart never lies to himself.

I have met many times before. In the fast-paced era, both parties are adults. Making friends is just making friends. At this point, you don’t need to hide it. You have a crush on him like a middle school student. Evan dragged him and said, “Why? You've broken up, haven't you?"

"I broke up, and I also know that people have to start over, but I..." Lin Jinyu said: "I can't do it, I have someone in my heart."

He used to do it secretly for many years, but later he did it openly, and now he is not aboveboard, but he is still there.

"...I can't have sex with you," Lin Jinyu continued, "I'm sorry, but I really can't... This is not your problem. You are very nice, handsome, and talented, but I just... ...can't do it."

"It's okay to take it slow..." Evan said with a little hesitation: "We can take it slowly, not necessarily 10 at the beginning, or... if you have a preference... I can also follow you."

"No," Lin Jinyu was eager to break free from his hand: "It's not about this...I'm sorry, I should go, I really should go."

After speaking, before Evan had time to utter the next syllable, he turned around regardless and rushed out of the gate.

"He..." Evan was puzzled, Lin Ye patted him on the shoulder, motioned him to stay, and chased him out.

……

It was late at night, the street lights were dim, and there was a crescent moon in the sky covered by tall buildings.

Lin Jinyu was walking along the road, on the streets of Shanghai. After rushing out of the store, he walked faster and faster, almost running wildly, and then became slower and slower... slower and slower...

He ran for a long distance, and gradually there was no one around. Lin Jinyu's chest was heaving violently like a powerful bellows. He supported his knees and gasped like a dying asthmatic, as if his lungs were about to burst——panting Panting, tears burst from the eyes like sea water breaking through the dam, and hit the dark ground drop by drop.

Those sweets and memories are all a thing of the past. On No.20 eight days after the breakup, Lin Jinyu squatted at the entrance of a small unknown alley in Shanghai, in a corner that Zhang Xinli didn't know, and finally burst into tears.

Even the greatest writer can't describe in words the cry that a person makes when he is really sad, sadness, sadness, pain, regret, all emotions are in that cry after another, in terms of rhythm It's very ugly, and there is no aesthetic feeling, but there is no artificially compiled music in the world that moves people more than a whimper.

Lin Jinyu told himself again and again what this was, it was too embarrassing, and he had to stop quickly, but every time he managed to calm down and stop this embarrassing crying for less than three seconds, he would turn red again, buried I started crying again in my arms, and couldn't stop no matter what.

He wanted to cry, just wanted to cry.

When we were not together before, he thought Zhang Xinli was a straight man with a hopeless love, but he was so eager, longing for a day when Zhang Xinli could love him, even if it was only for one minute, one second, one breath.

At that time, Lin Jinyu felt that the more painful thing than losing was never getting it, and the more painful thing than losing a loved one was never starting, no memories, no entangled past and fetters, only nothingness, but it turned out not to be.

Maybe people are greedy creatures. When they don’t have one, they think that one second is enough, but when they have one second, they want one minute, and one minute is even longer. Now they feel that what they have lost is as painful as what they have not got. , even more painful.

Lin Jinyu thought: How nice it would be if the two of them were always in school. They wouldn't have to worry about work, relationships, utilities, and rent. Being handsome, studying well, and being able to play basketball are the most dazzling assets in school, and they wouldn't be caught up in complicated labor. Disputes don't have to compare income, education, cars and houses, without all the heavy, adult worries.

In that way, they could stay in Liangshan forever, and the sun was never as bright as that year. They sat side by side on the ridge of the field, and the wind blew each other's clothes.