God said I would meet you

The sky is a melancholy blue.

It stands to reason that the person who breaks up should be depressed, drink alone all night, cry when drunk, shed a few cat tears, and maybe go crazy and make a scene.Xu Zhao was quite worried about his brother. After all, Lin Jinyu was also in a mood...he was still taking medicine.

But Lin Jinyu didn't.

In Xu Zhao's eyes, he was very calm, not like him.

That afternoon, after Lin Jinyu left the hospital, he walked aimlessly on the street for a long time. Xu Zhao followed behind, not knowing where he was going. When he asked him, he himself said he didn't know.

Just like an amputee always feels that the part of the limb that has disappeared is still there for a period of time, he always has an unreal feeling, is this separation... in these few words and understatements.

"You two still have to deal with each other for the time being," Xu Zhao said, "Live, go to work, we were all together, but all of a sudden..."

"No," Lin Jinyu felt angry in addition to the sense of 'unreality' emptiness, not the kind of rage like a volcanic eruption, but more similar to suffocation, or sulking: "In this kind of thing, he is very angry. Good at evading."

He has a distinctive and stubborn personality, and has a very strong sense of self. The people he likes are also strong, brave, and the kind who never admit defeat. He walked through the confused adolescence fearlessly. He accepted it grudgingly, confessed and fought with his parents, and never once thought of abandoning Zhang Xinli and returning to a comfortable life.

But Zhang Xinli gave up on him. This kind of giving up disgusted him and made him even more disappointed.

"Him? Escape?" Xu Zhao didn't know Zhang Xinli as well as he did, and he couldn't empathize with Lin Jinyu's tortuous and painful middle school crush: "No way, he escaped?"

Lin Jinyu said: "This is what he is best at."

……

That day, Lin Jinyu did not go back to the house he rented with Zhang Xinli, but slept at Xu Zhao's house for the night. The next day, he got up normally, talked normally, ate normally, and went out to work normally. As expected, the director said that Zhang Xinli yesterday Already came and quit the internship citing sick leave.

The internship has already entered the final stage, because his case certificate is complete, and he has a relationship, the unit has passed the approval and scored him in advance.

Xu Zhao said: "It's unexpected, now you can continue to work."

However, after listening to the director's reply, Lin Jinyu left the office without saying a word, ran to the other side to find Uncle Xu Zhao, and directly applied for the postponement of the internship according to the previous regulations.

"What kind of plane are you doing?" Xu Zhao couldn't understand: "One or two, just don't bump into each other for fear of embarrassment. He has already left, and you are leaving too. Why?"

The behavior of people who have just experienced a breakup may be incomprehensible to others, and sometimes even they themselves do not understand. Lin Jinyu does not want to get in touch with anything about Zhang Xinli for the time being, including places.

This may be some kind of "closer to the nostalgia is more timid" in disguise.

At noon, Lin Jinyu finished all the formalities and immediately went back to pack her things without stopping.After all, they have separated, and it is impossible for the two of them to sleep on the same bed. He knows that the ticket is not easy to buy, and he also knows that Zhang Xinli has no other place to live in Shanghai. There is a high probability that he will sleep there for the time being and leave his things there. It will probably block him.

Xu Zhao followed him out of loyalty and some inexplicable psychology.

However, even though they moved very quickly, when Lin Jinyu opened the door and returned to the small shared room where he had lived in for three or four months, he found that Zhang Xinli had taken away all his belongings before him.

Xu Zhao said: "Damn it, we came here as soon as we finished the application. He moved fast enough... I don't know how he is recovering. I'm really worried about him because he moved so many things before everything is healed."

"There's nothing to worry about," said Lin Jinyu, who used to tremble in fear of Zhang Xinli's accident, as if his heart was suddenly hardened, and he said, "It's pretty good, it's good to be able to move, and I've done what I can. What will happen to him later?" It's none of my business."

People always jokingly say that "a qualified predecessor should be a dead person", the reason may be this reason, but Xu Zhao always feels mixed feelings, and wants to say something, but has nothing to say.

There were some clothes in the closet that Zhang Xinli didn’t take away. There were several pairs of shoes on the shoe rack, all of which were famous brands. Lin Jinyu glanced blankly. They were all bought for Zhang Xinli when he was not short of money.

He started to collect things, erasing all the traces he left here, Xu Zhao recognized some familiar clothes as Zhang Xinli's, and said, "What should I do about these?"

Lin Jinyu said lightly, "Throw it away."

"Throw……"

Those clothes were still wearable, and the soles of the sneakers were worn, but not to the point of being broken, but even if they were all brand new, Lin Jinyu didn't intend to keep any of them.

He was not gentle enough to put those things in plastic bags, Xu Zhao said: "Uh, it's still... not good to throw them away."

"You can wear it or sell it if you want," Lin Jinyu said, "I don't want it anymore."

What he gave Zhang Xinli would not be taken back. If the other party didn't want it, just throw it away and don't give it back to him.

Xu Zhao said: "How can I wear them, and I don't have much time to sell them."

Lin Jinyu was not surprised, and said, "Go downstairs to the garbage station and turn left."

Xu Zhao had nothing to say, so he hesitated for a moment and had to go.

Lin Jinyu stayed alone in the room, silently and swiftly collecting his things. He said that he had not lived there for a long time, but there were actually so many of his things in the room—the things of the two of them, and there were books from him on the bedside table. The library borrowed two books for Zhang Xinli to read, the professional book on the small table contained the pen that Zhang Xinli gave him a few years ago, the drawer of the closet contained the fan he gave Zhang Xinli when we were just together... and Many, many.

It was getting hotter and hotter. Because some patients were afraid of the wind, fans were not allowed in the ward, let alone the air conditioner. Lin Jinyu found it out of the suitcase a few days ago, and was going to fan Zhang Xinli at night.He opened it and took a look. On both sides of the plain white fan were two Chinese characters "Yu" and "Li". people.

——A fan bought in winter.

Lin Jinyu put it in a plastic bag together with other things, they are out of fashion.

Xu Zhao worked as a porter several times, and the more he moved, the more unpleasant it became. Lin Jinyu's expression did not change from the beginning to the end, he was so calm and numb.

"Okay, it's gone after throwing these away," he packed up all his luggage, turned on his mobile phone and sent a message to the landlord: "I'll ask the landlord to come and have a look. If there's no problem, you can leave after checking out the room. What do you want to eat tonight, sir Grilled buffet?"

He still wants to eat self-help... Witnessing all the things they have been doing all the time, even Xu Zhao, a straight man, is also quite touched. He thought for a long time, and said: "Brother, you are really not sad at all. We both know each other very well." It's been more than ten years, you don't need to pretend in front of me."

There seems to be an unwritten rule among lovers who broke up. It seems that whoever is sad loses. Lin Jinyu raised his face and glanced at him, saying: "No, I think too much, I don't feel anything."

So free and easy?Xu Zhaoxin said: If it were me, if I got together with the girl I had a crush on in high school and then separated, I would guarantee that I would drink until late into the night for ten days and a half months in a row.

Everything was packed, only the bed was left uncleaned. Lin Jinyu buckled the suitcase and looked up. The quilt was neatly folded, with a nice smell of soap. Zhang Xinli always folded the quilt very squarely.

When they moved in, the bedding was well placed in the closet. Lin Jinyu decided to put it back as it was, so that the room would be the same as before they came, so he walked to the bed and picked up the pillows and quilts that were not too heavy——

In the corner of the eye, the dazzling silver flashed past.

After the items pressed on the upper layer were removed, a plain white necklace lay quietly on the flat sheet. The brass bullet case had been oxidized to lose its luster. The bell that lost its owner was silent alone. LdevoteshisalllifetoloveZ' is still clear.

Lin Jinyu finally paused for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Seeing that he had been standing still, Xu Zhao walked over strangely, followed Lin Jinyu's gaze and looked down: "What is this?" He said, "Who left behind?"

Lin Jinyu turned his face away, remained silent for a few seconds, and said, "It's not someone's." He said, "It's worthless."

That necklace, even with that sentence on it, was worthless, they were thrown away so easily.

"It looks pretty delicate," Xu Zhao picked it up and asked, "What should I do?"

Lin Jinyu still said, "Throw it away."

The man returned everything to him and left, simply and quietly. Lin Jinyu felt that he threw away these things, and throwing himself away was like throwing away the garbage that he was forced to carry with him for a long time.

The room was not dirty. The landlord came to see it and gave a lot of reasons. One was that the sanitation was not cleaned, and the other was that although it was a monthly rent, they notified the check-out notice too late and refused to refund the deposit. Lin Jinyu pulled the suitcase Going out, he said, "I'll see you off. If you're greedy for the deposit, you'll be greedy for the deposit. You don't need to make so many excuses."

The strange feeling in Xu Zhao's heart became more obvious. Lin Jinyu was always restrained and polite to outsiders, how could he be so merciless and straightforward.

"Hey, where are you going?" Xu Zhao said, "What's the next step?"

"Normal plan," Lin Jinyu squinted at the sky outside the building, the blue and melancholy sky: "Life, study, work, pay back the money, do whatever you want."

In order to secretly pay the rent and collect Zhang Xinli's medical expenses, he borrowed a lot of money from everyone around him, and he wanted to pay it back alone.

"I'm still me," he said, "It's the same without anyone."

The wheel of life never stops because someone is missing. Lin Jinyu said to herself in her heart: I don't miss anyone who gives up on me.