God said I would meet you

Lin Jinyu's life became lonely again, lonely and boring.

He started the same decadent routine again, just like before Zhang Xinli entered his life, sleeping until eleven or twelve o'clock, eating some takeaway, then playing with his mobile phone until dark, and then staying in bed until eleven or twelve the next day Point... Occasionally take time to visit the cram school.

After Zhang Xinli left, his father breathed a sigh of relief. He probably felt that the two of them were separated by thousands of miles and had no chance to meet, so everything was fine. He no longer stared at him like a watchdog, and returned to his busy work.

Lin Jinyu suddenly felt that everything was meaningless. What's the point of studying and living?He seems to have fallen into a state similar to philosophical thinking, doubting life, confused by existence, and unable to get excited about anything.

He just messed around like this until school started, and then continued to live his boring life in school.

"As for it, isn't it just a man, bye bye, bye bye, the next one will be better."

During the evening self-study class, the classroom was brightly lit. Wang Xiu came from the class next door and sat with him on the edge of the corridor, overlooking the graceful tree shadows and silent sculptures in front of the attached middle school teaching building.

"Understood, I'm fine, you think I'm sad, you're thinking too much." Lin Jinyu glanced at him: "You're happy, three for a month."

"It's an exaggeration," Wang Xiu said, "Where are there so many 1s?"

Lin Jinyu was a little curious, and asked casually, "How many boyfriends have you had?"

At this time, most of the teachers have gone home from get off work, and there are only a few teachers on the first floor watching the evening self-study. There is basically no one to care about during the break. Wang Xiu held a thin female cigarette in his hand, and smoked it reservedly while saying: : "See how it counts, does it count if we only talked about it for one day?"

Lin Jinyu's feeling of being single for thousands of years was hit: "What's the matter? One more day?"

He immediately thought of some aspects that are not suitable for children, but the facts seem to be less adult than he thought... because Wang Xiu immediately said: "Yes, when I was in junior high school, I had a roommate who was very kind to me, not ordinary. That kind of good, that is... very good, we do everything together, and he still hugs me to sleep at night. "

Lin Jinyu said, "Is he also..."

However, Wang Xiu spread his hands: "He is really a straight man. I liked him so much at that time, and wanted to stay with him forever... But one day he came over suddenly and excitedly told me that a girl had an appointment. She goes running together every day... I'm so sad, but I have to pretend to be happy."

After listening to the first half, Lin Jinyu still felt that Wang Xiu and the "that roommate" in his mouth were not much different from him and Zhang Xinli. They were both as close, as inseparable, and as good. That's still your misfortune.

At least he can be sure that Zhang Xinli didn't fall in love with any girl, so he doesn't have to endure this kind of forced smile... not yet.

"... Then one day I couldn't take it anymore, so I told him," Wang Xiu said, "He was very confused, thinking that I was under too much pressure from studying, so he would think wildly." Then the main event came, Wang Xiu said: "But I'm very firm, nonsense, my mother has known since elementary school that she likes men...then he agreed to give it a try with me."

Lin Jinyu understood what was going on with that 'day' without a teacher: "So you two were together for a day?"

"Yes," Wang Xiu replied, "I tried it for a day, and then I broke up and went my separate ways... There are also a few people I met on the software, and the wife is long and the wife is short through the network cable. When they meet, they still say 'I'm sorry, I still can't stand it. Damn', it's too early to say! Moji!"

There is also a chain of discrimination among gays. They are obviously a marginal group that cannot be seen, but they are still divided into classes. Some people look down on the old, ugly, and fat.

Lin Jinyu tried to comfort him: "At least... there was a day," he said, "One day is good." Unlike him, there was only an empty dream.

"Don't talk about this, it's annoying, it's all in the past, didn't you hear that sentence, 'Straight men are a compulsory course, just pass it'." Wang Xiudao: "It's you, you are too worthless. I saw you all sleeping on the same bed, but it didn't work out, it's too embarrassing for the teacher!"

Lin Jinyu didn't know when she became his apprentice: "...it's a long story."

"What are your plans?" Wang Xiu gasped, "Recently, when I go back to the office, I can see you being invited to drink tea."

Intend?Lin Jinyu didn't know what her plan was, she seemed to be walking step by step like this, but she didn't know where to go.

There was his mobile phone in his trouser pocket. He had opened his contacts countless nights, turned to the page of that number, stared at the string of numbers for a long, long time, and finally turned it off.

Those eleven numbers were the only thing left between them. When Zhang Xinli came, like many middle school students in his class, he didn't have a smartphone and didn't like playing games very much. Therefore, apart from the Sichuan number, Lin Jinyu didn't have any other contact information for him. .

This is the two days since we separated No.70. Zhang Xinli may change his number after he arrives at the new school, and he may have a new way of socializing. This string of numbers may have long since lost their meaning... But Lin Jinyu is still reluctant to delete it. Beautiful, unrestrained, as if invulnerable, but only you know the sourness and pain.

"I don't plan to, let's muddle along."

The front was dark, but the lights in the classroom were warm. Apart from them, there were a few young couples in the corridor. Lin Jinyu glanced at them from the corner of her eye, and the more she glanced, the more irritable she became. It’s as good as alchemy,” he said, “Give me one too.”

Wang Xiu looked at him: "Are you sure? This is for women."

"What's wrong with the lady?"

Wang Xiu said: "Kill *"

"..." Lin Jinyu stopped immediately: "No."

Wang Xiu giggled, and took out another box from one pocket: "I won't kill this one."

Lin Jinyu saw that he was deliberately teasing herself, so she rolled her eyes at him and touched the fulcrum... Now he can also smoke. Get out of that depressed state.

In the beginning, he secretly took his father's money, but later he turned into exploring by himself, anyway, he also had money for two cigarettes.

The soft golden sand tastes soft and long, with a strong aroma. Many times, Lin Jinyu held the filter in the dense mist, and had the illusion that she could still feel the temperature of Zhang Xinli's lips.

"I really don't have any plans," he said, "It's boring, just muddle through, it's the same in any university."

"Don't be so non-mainstream," Wang Xiu said, "You seem like a resentful woman who gives up on herself now."

"You are the one who complains about women, and your whole family hates women!" Lin Jinyu pushed his head unceremoniously: "How do you talk, get the hell out of here."

Wang Xiu just laughed, enough laughing, and he said: "I'm serious, you have to make a plan. As a person who has left the first level, I sincerely advise you not to repeat the exam. It's too uncomfortable."

Lin Jinyu's studies have always been smooth, and it is a matter of course for him to enter a higher school. He has never considered repeating such things, but recalling his recent quiz results, it seems that he is really on the edge of the second grade.

"The pressure is huge!" Wang Xiu looked like he was going to die: "All the classmates went to school happily, so you stay where you are, my God!"

Lin Jinyu thought about the scene, and a group of villains such as Xu Zhao and Huang Jiayao appeared in their minds, wearing a small schoolbag to bid him farewell to go to college, while she was wearing a tattered beggar's clothes, with roots The scene of beating a dog with a stick, holding a broken bowl with a hole in it and begging in place... seems really scary.

He shivered, and instantly felt goosebumps all over his body.

"And your dad doesn't accept that you are gay," Wang Xiu asked, "Then you have to study even more."

"Who is gay?" Lin Jinyu said, "Hush!"

Wang Xiu "cut": "Speak seriously, the more you don't accept it at home, the more capable you are. If you get a good score in the test, you can apply for volunteering at any time. Your dad can take care of where you want to go. Nevermind."

It sounds...it seems...quite reasonable.

Lin Jinyu said, "Go ahead."

"It's over," Wang Xiu said, "what else to say? Your father is meddling in your business, so you can just stand on your own...Although we are still far away from getting rich and buying a house, the reason is the same."

"Oh," Lin Jinyu twitched, squinted and said, "Understood."

……

The school atmosphere is as tense as ever...Lin Jinyu never thought that one day her motivation for studying would be to "stay away from home".

He began to gather his mind and worked hard day and night. Lin Huainan had never seen his son do something so consciously and peacefully.

The teaching materials piled up like a mountain, and Lin Jinyu seemed to have grown up overnight, devoting all her energy to those formulas and questions.

He thought he was going to die in a few days...but no.

He once dozed off while looking at mathematics. At that time, Zhang Xinli sat beside him, and said helplessly and with some tolerance: "Do you need someone to accompany you every time you write mathematics?"

Now there will be no one with him anymore.

Lin Jinyu gnawed through the heavy textbooks, handwriting, test papers, and wrong questions page by page without dozing off.

Xu Zhao also turned away, and no one would join Lin Jinyu to eat, go to the bathroom, play games, hurt each other... He was not as talkative as before, and he was no longer so high-spirited. He was like a stone that sank to the bottom of the water.

Stone can't speak, but he can calm down and learn.

On the campus where he and Zhang Xinli lived together, the get out of class bell rang again and again. The magnolia flowers withered and bloomed on the road together, and the students came and went every day. What a difference.

And the time passed between the rustling of desks, blackboards, and pen nibs, and the slight frowning of the boy's eyebrows.

The flying pages of the book were thrown into the sky like a flock of white birds.

Lin Jinyu was very calm on the day when the spring and autumn exams were released, as calm as a pool of stagnant water without a source.Seeing the acceptable result, he heaved a sigh of relief, feeling an unprecedented relief.

The school arranged to use the computer room to fill in the volunteers. Lin Jinyu flipped through the newspaper and filled in the universities in the east, west, north, south, and south of the motherland, but did not fill in the universities in Shanghai.

He was one of the few students in his class who went to other provinces.

After the end, he and Huang Jiayao walked out together, passing the long slopes of flower beds and a small playground.

He still remembered that year when Zhang Xinli just transferred to another school, he quarreled with him. The two of them pretended not to know each other like primary school students, causing Xu Zhao to make trouble and compete with him near the green belt of the flower bed... That year on the playground, Zhang Xinli Playing with them, a beautiful three-pointer shocked many students and teachers to gather around the sidelines, watching and applauding... At that time, Xu Zhao liked Shen Lanxi, and often bickered with Qiao Xie, causing Qiao Xie to hold up the garbage shovel with both hands , as if holding some kind of peerless magic weapon, the two of them chased and ran wildly all over the playground.

Now those shadows all over the mountains and plains have disappeared, leaving only a red list and a quiet playground.

"What are you looking at?" Huang Jiayao saw that he was staring there in a daze, and said, "So lost in thought."

"Look..." Lin Jinyu looked away through the barbed wire, and said, "A group of shadows who are dudes."

In August of that year, at the end of summer and early autumn, Lin Jinyu left Lin Huainan, her mother, and Shanghai, and embarked on her way to school alone and stubbornly.

The train berths are crowded, the uncle on the upper berth is covered with a quilt and snoring loudly, and there are noises from children next door. Lin Jinyu is sitting by the window, with a lighter and cigarettes stuffed in the middle of his schoolbag, and he is wearing that white PUMA baseball cap. Watching the scenery outside the window with the silver puma on the hat, stepping back... the city is getting farther and farther away from him.

Before getting into the car, Lin's mother told him over and over again to take good care of himself outside, ask his mother for money, remember to call back when he has time, and send you whatever he wants to eat at home.

Lin Jinyu watched countless black railroad tracks criss-cross and fork, each going in different directions, and in the end only the one under their feet remained.

He kept going, getting farther and farther away from home.