God said I would meet you

A pinhole camera was once installed in the living room of Lin Jinyu's home.

That was a long time ago. When Lin Jinyu was very young, their family often changed nannies.

Although his parents do not lack a sum of money for a nanny, it is not easy to find a satisfactory nanny.

Lin Jinyu didn't like the food cooked by some nannies, some nannies didn't like to be clean and behaved sloppily, some nannies acted rudely, and some had unclean hands and feet and liked to carry things around the house.

During that period of time, there were several news stories about the nanny beating and scolding and abusing the elderly while the employer was not at home. Lin’s parents and Lin’s mother also suffered a few times, so they installed it in the corner of the living room under the suggestion of colleagues. A pinhole camera to monitor and inspect babysitters.

This camera once helped Lin's father and Lin's mother screen out many unqualified nannies. Later, Mrs. Zhou came, and after a few years, no one remembered it anymore.

Lin Jinyu didn't know when his father changed the battery, and by the time he found out, it was too late.

The next morning, when he was still ignorantly lying on the desk doing his homework, Teacher Xia suddenly opened the front door of the classroom and asked him to come out.

On the way to the office, Lin Jinyu turned her head subconsciously for fun, looking at Zhang Xinli's profile through a reflective glass window.

Zhang Xinli rested his hands on the table, probably thinking about some difficult problem, his beautiful eyebrows were slightly frowned, there was a bit of wind that day, and the yellowed leaves of the willow trees rustled in the autumn wind, reflecting in the window together with their profiles On the glass, it looks like a little orange snow.

They passed by in a distance. At that time, Lin Jinyu didn't realize what was waiting for him.

His busy father, who rarely sees him every day, is sitting in the office, and Teacher Xia is waiting for him at his desk. The eyes behind the lens make Lin Jinyu feel very strange.

Lin Huainan didn't say anything in front of outsiders, but politely thanked Mr. Xia, and then led Lin Jinyu out.

Lin Jinyu followed behind and called him Dad, and said blankly, "Dad, where are we going? get out of class is not over yet."

"Self-study class, I asked you to leave." Lin Huainan didn't look at him, only looked at the front, took him into the car, and drove straight home.

Lin Jinyu instinctively felt that the atmosphere was not right, but he didn't think about that, so when the slap came, Lin Jinyu was completely at a loss.

Except for seven or eight years old, the most mischievous age that even dogs think of as mischievous, Lin Huainan almost never beat him.

Lin Jinyu looked at his father incredulously, and he could read the great disappointment and anger from those eyes hidden behind the glasses.

"What are you doing!" He said incredulously, "Dad...why?"

Lin Huainan turned on his mobile phone, held it up to Lin Jinyu, and said, "You know it in your heart."

This man who has always been very self-cultivated was wrapped in unimaginable anger and heartache. What an unacceptable scene for a father. He saw his son squatting down between someone's legs and kissing another man's... …

Even if that look was full of love, it was still his son.

Lin Jinyu endured the burning pain on his face and looked intently. There was a screenshot of a certain video on the screen. The shooting angle was a very weird overhead shot. It looked like...

There are two boys in the picture, one is sitting, the other is squatting or kneeling in front of him, they are...

Lin Jinyu felt that the blood in his whole body was cooling down inch by inch. After almost half a minute, he spoke: "...you know."

"How did you promise me?" As a father, Lin Huainan was almost furious: "This is your action? How much did you hide from me and your mother?"

Not many, Lin Jinyu thought: You already know the most important thing.

Maybe it was because he had been struggling in pain and confusion for too long, but now, he didn't feel so uneasy and frightened, but became calm.

He said calmly, "I love him, I told you, Dad."

When the second slap came, Lin Jinyu was still very calm, even the disbelief in his eyes at the beginning was gone, just as calm as an ancient well.

He also tried his best to hide it, cover it up, and wanted to treat it as a secret and bury it in the deepest corner, but as Sanmao said: Even if he covers his mouth, he still likes to come out of his eyes.

Why can't he say love?

Lin Jinyu was deflected by the slap, but he quickly turned back quietly, looking at Lin Huainan like a steady tree.

He opened his mouth and said, "I love him, Dad."

Lin Huainan had never seen such an expression on his son's face, he said: "You don't know what love is at all!" Lin Huainan said: "You are only a teenager, Xiao Yu, the impulse of adolescence is not love."

"Then when is the impulse to be love?" Lin Jinyu murmured, "20 years old? 30 years old? Or 40 years old? Why don't you understand now?"

Some adults are very strange. They scrutinize and wrestle with each other in the marriage market, repeatedly comparing family backgrounds, haggling over bride price and dowry, and signing marriage contracts with every penny, but they like to mock 17-year-old children who don’t understand love.

At that age when they have nothing but everything, a 17-year-old child may not understand marriage, but he may not understand love.

Love is pure, it is mutual delivery and giving, it is the meeting of souls.

"Impulse is not love, it doesn't matter how old you are!" Lin Huainan said: "You are immature now, it is easy to mistake the intimacy between friends for love in adolescence, but that is wrong!"

"But impulsiveness is part of love," Lin Jinyu said, "Remember, what you taught me is Sternberg's three elements of love. Love without passion and impulsiveness is not love."

"..." Lin Huainan didn't know how to refute for a while, he said: "That's your illusion. You have never liked boys since you were a child. This is just an illusion born in a special period."

Lin Jinyu thought of what Wang Xiu said to him on the playground, and he said slowly, "I don't think...we have fully understood ourselves since we were born."

Lin Huainan said, "What?"

"Dad, did you foresee your current appearance when you were born?" Lin Jinyu said slowly. This may be the first time in three years that he has had serious discussions with his father about a problem that really bothers him. When he was in pain, he thought in the middle of the night and got the answer: "Did you predict which elementary school, which middle school, which university you would go to, and what you would study many years ago?" , and expected that you would become a teacher, do business, meet your mother, have your current concepts and ideas, and become what you are now?"

Lin Huainan didn't speak, he was cautious about the answer to this question, because it might be related to correcting his son.

Lin Jinyu went on to say: "I don't think that from birth, we have foreseen what we will look like in the future. Our whole life is looking for ourselves, and we will also experience self-exploration and trial and error."

At that time, Lin Jinyu hadn't read any philosophical works, didn't know Descartes, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer's specific thoughts. He just found his own answer through long pain and thinking.

Lin Huainan was a little surprised that he was able to say these words, his tone softened a bit, and said, "Okay...you said you would go through trial and error, so how do you know it's not a mistake?"

"I..." Lin Jinyu said, "I don't know. I haven't tried it. How do I know if I'm wrong?"

"Isn't that still going back to the original point?" Lin Huainan thought about it and asked, "Tell the truth to Dad, have you ever... Happened..."

Lin Jinyu didn't understand what his father was asking at first, but after thinking about it, he said in embarrassment: "No! I said it's none of his business... It's just my unilateral... There was nothing that day..."

He was afraid that his father would hurt Zhang Xinli.

Lin Huainan seemed to be relieved, there would hardly be any education about "sexual behavior" in middle school, and he was very afraid that his son would try some unspeakable things without relevant knowledge, which would be too dangerous.

"You are still too naive now. When one day you become independent, start a family and start a business, and look back at yourself today, you will find it funny." Lin Huainan said as if reading the final judgment: "You should separate, grandpa When you took him here, you didn't want that kind of relationship to develop."

"What... what..." Lin Jinyu had a premonition in his heart, but he still had self-deceiving expectations.When this result was really announced by his father, he still felt like a mountain falling apart.

"I've already given you a chance, Xiaoyu." Different from last time, Lin Huainan's tone this time was firm, and his attitude was very firm: "If you break the agreement, you will have to bear the consequences."

Lin Jinyu felt that he was disappearing inch by inch. He seemed to be floating in the air, separated from the earth, and had nothing to rely on.

He tried his best to fight for it, but he only delayed the separation temporarily, and he couldn't escape after all.

"No... Dad, I..." He wanted to say something to redeem him, but he really had nothing to say, because he just loved him, when he was happy, when he was sad, when he was together, and when he was apart, End of the world, close to each other, love everything.

Lin Huainan didn't give him a chance to organize his words, he made the final decision like a judge holding a gavel: "That's it, his school status itself hasn't come down yet... You don't know how difficult it is, wait for this After the semester is over, I will find an opportunity to tell him, you should study hard at school."

Papa Lin paused and said, "...the school is not close to home, and it takes time to commute back and forth, so I don't have to come back on weekends."

As a father, he has no right to discipline other people's sons, he can only discipline his own son, and together with those two slaps, one of them belongs to Zhang Xinli, but he can't slap other people's sons, so Lin Jinyu bears it alone.

"Dad..." Lin Jinyu couldn't stop his father from taking back everything he gave Zhang Xinli, because it was originally given to him by his father.He could only say in vain: "Dad...please..."

Probably because he felt that such a unilateral thunderous approach was a bit too aggressive and might have some counterproductive effects on his son, Lin Huainan decided to be a little softer, and he said: "Xiaoyu, what you just said is that people spend their whole life exploring themselves, right? ? But life is not only love, but more importantly, self, self-awareness, self-life, self-study and work.”

"...Let's make an agreement," Lin Jinyu heard his father say, "You take the college entrance examination, go to school, integrate into society, meet more people, and find yourself. If that day comes, you still say you Love him, okay, then I will stop interfering with you."

The gift given to Zhang Xinli by fate was quietly taken back before he knew it, maybe it was also given to Lin Jinyu at the same time.

It gave Zhang Xinli a chance, and at the same time gave Lin Jinyu an unexpected love, and then let them lose together.

The world began to rain.