God said I would meet you

There was a strong night breeze on the playground, and the beams of the high-pressure sodium lamps looked like four golden and white eyes in the night.

Xu Zhao carried his guitar on his back, while Lin Jinyu put the piano on his lap, and they sat cross-legged in the corner of the lawn.

This was their first official rehearsal. Lin Ye's own piano case was put aside, his brows were tightly frowned, and his expression was very serious.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lin Ye said, "It was you who said to train hard at the beginning, and now you are the one who wants to put down the pick. Do you think you are playing house?"

After all, Lin Ye was an adult who was four years older than them. Lin Ye was quite intimidating when he trained people. Xu Zhao was shocked by his yelling, and turned his head to look at Lin Jinyu holding the guitar.

And Lin Jinyu just sat there quietly, neither retaliating nor defending anything, he just said: "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, what's the use of saying I'm sorry? Are you clamoring for this song and that song, changing this and that, do you think I'm idle? Why do I want you to say sorry?"

It's quite unreasonable to retreat now, but Lin Jinyu just lowered his eyes and repeated what he said just now: "I'm sorry...but you saw it just now...I really can't continue to finish."

His stubbornness surprised Lin Ye.

Because when they were studying, Lin Jinyu and the others would not be free until the evening self-study, and if they rehearsed at Lin Ye's house at that time, it might disturb the neighbors around them.So every Monday to Friday, Lin Ye always took them to the playground.

The standard 800-meter sports field is very spacious. As a school famous for its music and watch major, many students who can't get the piano room will come to the playground to practice.

Today was the first two-person rehearsal. Lin Ye finally decided on the score. He made a series of several songs. Except for the few passages that were evenly divided, "roolinginthedeep" and "lotipensoamore" were mainly guitar and violin respectively. It is a solo song that highlights the key points.

He sent Lin Jinyu and Xu Zhao the scores that he had put a lot of effort into, thinking that he had finally finalized the "design blueprint", and then he just needed to follow the steps to run in, so he called both Lin Jinyu and Xu Zhao, and planned to start the formal rehearsal .

However, it seems that people are not as good as heaven, just when Lin Ye was full of ambition and was about to grind these two juniors, Lin Jinyu lost the chain.

He still couldn't finish that piece satisfactorily... not only couldn't finish it, but it was even worse than before.

No matter how many times she plays again, Lin Jinyu always makes wrong notes, rushes to shoot, has inaccurate high notes, or is muddled. The sound of the piano is like a gear that has been rusted for decades, dry and mocking.

Just when Lin Ye couldn't help scolding him, Lin Jinyu took the initiative to put down the piano and said, "...delete it," he said, "I really can't finish it...and don't want to finish it."

If it is deleted directly, the arrangement of the entire program will appear anticlimactic, and the structure will be very unreasonable, which means that one-third of the score may have to be re-edited and restarted.

Lin Ye was very angry, but no matter what he said, Lin Jinyu just repeated the words "I'm sorry" and "I really can't do it".

One of them was angry, and the other looked down. Xu Zhao was sandwiched between the two, and his hairs were almost standing on end. He looked left and right, and couldn't help but ask, "Why, Whale, why did you suddenly delete it? It’s not good, let’s practice slowly, it’s okay.”

Lin Ye also looked at him and said, "Reason, give me a convincing reason."

Lin Jinyu said slowly: "...There is no reason, just... I don't want to practice anymore."

This kind of extremely irresponsible words made Lin Ye really angry. He couldn't help it, and said angrily: "What a shit reason, this is your reason? Are you a three-year-old child? If you don't want to practice, don't practice. Is your mother all over the world? The whole world revolves around you?"

Lin Ye held back his anger, and spoke bluntly. Xu Zhao couldn't understand that his friend was being scolded, and wanted to say something for Lin Jinyu, but he couldn't come up with something to say after thinking for a long time... After all, this reason is really capricious. Lin Ye should be angry.

"What the hell are you thinking? Are you mentally ill or out of your mind? You..." Lin Ye became more and more angry as he spoke, wishing he could give him a 3600-degree loop to preach... But in the middle of his speech, suddenly Stop talking.

Lin Jinyu, who had been looking down at the small piece of grass in front of him, slowly raised his head, and the shadow gradually faded from his face...Under the platinum high-pressure sodium light, Lin Ye saw that his eyes were overflowing. Tears, the tears shimmered white under the light, like a pool of water under the moonlight.

The night is dark and heavy, and although the grass seeds used for greening the playground are hardy, they are still green even in autumn, but winter will come eventually.

Lin Jinyu began to speak, his voice was very small and soft, he was obviously speaking to Lin Ye, but it seemed more like he was talking to himself.

He said slowly, slowly: "I don't think I will... never have the chance to tell him."

……

three days ago.

Lin Jinyu did one of the bravest things recently.

He knelt on the sofa, pressed Zhang Xinli's shoulder, and asked him bluntly what he was thinking.

Zhang Xinli wanted to push him away at first, but Lin Jinyu was in the top position and he was a boy, so he didn't push him away easily.

Lin Jinyu slowly approached him and asked, "What the hell... are you thinking?"

This scene was very similar to that day in the car, but what was different from that day was that the lights in the house were bright, and there was nowhere to hide his expression. Lin Jinyu didn't drink or eat anything messy, he was completely awake... Zhang Xinli also Same.

Lin Jinyu reached out to touch him to confirm her guess... He guessed right: "Do you think that day in the car... or in the bathroom?"

Zhang Xinli only had a slight reaction. He tried to flip the page over and said with a frown, "I didn't think so."

But Lin Jinyu persisted: "...or that movie?"

He had never thought that Zhang Xinli was not a straight man, but at this moment, looking back at the past, certain moments were indeed very suspicious.

Straight men don't do that to men... But no matter the time in the bathroom, the time in the car, or even the time when he was drunk earlier, Zhang Xinli does seem to have some kind of physiological reaction... Although he From top to bottom, from inside to outside, she doesn't look like any gay Lin Jinyu has come into contact with.

Lin Jinyu stretched out her fingers and circled him: "Speak, no matter what you think, say it."

Zhang Xinli grabbed his hand and moved it away: "I said it, I didn't think about anything."

His hands were so strong that Lin Jinyu felt a little painful.

"Really," Lin Jinyu looked down at him, "Then why... um?"

Zhang Xinli was speechless for a moment before saying, "There is no reason."

It's okay to coax little girls with these words, but boys can't know boys.This kind of reaction is either due to abnormal emotions or physical stimulation, neither of which can only be because of some colored things in my mind.

Lin Jinyu wanted to reach out to touch him, but Zhang Xinli stopped him, and the two fought back and forth four or five times like a fight.The TV was not turned on, and there was silence in the living room, except for the harsh sound of cloth rubbing against each other.

Lin Jinyu grabbed him with one hand, not letting anyone else in, and put the other hand on his shoulder.

He looked down at Zhang Xinli for a moment, then slowly leaned closer to his ear, as if telling a secret that only the two of them knew: "... just touch, last time... I kissed you."

Zhang Xinli froze for a moment as if frozen in place... His chest rose and fell slowly, as if some specific memories were evoked by these words, and he was stunned.

Lin Jinyu whispered in his ear, "Miss me...do you want to kiss it again?"

Home ceiling lights are bright, exposing everything clearly.

Lin Jinyu got off him, and when he squatted down again, his whole body was actually numb. He felt that his brain seemed to be separated from his body. Consciousness was consciousness, and behavior was behavior. His body was separated from the middle layer of the spine. Acting directly on those nasty thoughts.

Zhang Xinli was wearing a pair of gray casual harem pants with a loose fit. If you don't touch it, it's hard to feel anything.

Lin Jinyu raised his eyes to look up, Zhang Xinli looked a little at a loss, his hand was placed on Lin Jinyu's shoulder, it was clearly a gesture of rejection, but he didn't use any force.

He loves this person, everything about him, good and bad, rich and poor, everything good and bad, including his joys, sorrows, and desires, he loves them all.

Lin Jinyu felt a little fever on her face...the fever was also mixed with a little happiness.

Maybe it was a bit dirty and shameful to say this, but he really felt a little bit of happiness.

Zhang Xinli slowly grasped the clothes on his shoulders... After a while, he finally stretched out his hand to pinch Lin Jinyu's chin, keeping him slightly away, preventing his next move, and said, "Enough!"

He said, "Enough is enough..."

With his chin pinched, Lin Jinyu didn't struggle, but lowered his eyes and asked, "Uncomfortable?"

"..." Zhang Xinli was speechless.

"Say it," Lin Jinyu said, "If you like it, just say it."

Zhang Xinli still didn't speak, his brows twisted into Chuan characters, appearing very contradictory and repulsive...I don't know whether it is repelling this question or this kind of behavior.

This time there was no cover of alcohol and no small movie as an excuse. Lin Jinyu thought that even if he didn't answer, he would ask in surprise, "Why do you do such a thing? Do you really like men?" or something like that.

But Zhang Xinli did not.He said nothing, neither answered the question nor asked him anything.

He just said, "...enough."

A secret and tacit atmosphere permeated between the two of them. Lin Jinyu probably had been frightened for a long time, but now she suddenly felt a little indifferent... just like a child who feels very ashamed when he brings the wrong book for the first time , uneasy, but if he took it wrong a hundred times, the shame and uneasiness would gradually disappear.

Lin Jinyu was that disobedient child, and he had a book in his heart that was different from most people's.

"...I don't feel sick, you helped me last time." He asked a question that he wanted to ask for a long time: "At that time... did you feel sick?"

Zhang Xinli subconsciously opened his mouth slightly, as if he wanted to answer, but in the end he didn't make any sound.

He let go of the hand that clamped Lin Jinyu's chin, got up from the sofa, walked around him, and quickly went back to his room. The image of his back seemed to be avoiding or running away.

Lin Jinyu sat on the ground and stood up after a long time... He felt that he was very close to the final result, even though Zhang Xinli still didn't give him an answer at this moment.

In the 10 minutes just now, he was so nervous and absorbed that he forgot the pocket camera in the corner of the ceiling that had been forgotten for many years.

The contradiction broke out suddenly in the silence.