God said I would meet you

Those tragic memories were as fresh as yesterday. When Lin Ye looked at Lin Jinyu, he felt as if he was really in the rainstorm.

Xu Zhao didn't understand what happened, but Lin Ye roughly understood from his expression and silently moving lips.

"Okay, okay," Lin Ye touched his forehead and said suddenly, "You are such a coward."

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Xu Zhao was dissatisfied: "Speak politely."

He wanted to comfort his brother, but he couldn't comfort him because he didn't know what happened. Finally, he just asked, "Whale, what's wrong with you? You were scolded by your father again?"

Before Lin Jinyu could speak, Lin Ye said, "Forget it, he's just cowardly."

His tone was full of contempt: "A cowardly child."

"I'm not!" Lin Jinyu was stabbed by his tone. He originally wanted to seek some comfort from Lin Ye, so even though he no longer planned to perform that song, he still brought the piano, but what Lin Ye gave him seemed to be There is only endless ridicule: "You don't understand how much pressure I have, how much I have endured..."

"Who isn't?" Lin Ye still looked at him with a very contemptuous look: "Lin Jinyu, do you think you are the only one in the world who is struggling with family, parents, and other people's opinions? No one in this world Life is easy, and you are a coward. You dare not speak, dare not express, and now you dare not even sing a song in front of others, what a cowardly child."

Lin Jinyu was extremely irritable. He was already very sad, but he still wanted to be provoked by Lin Ye.

"Standing and talking doesn't hurt your back," Lin Jinyu said coldly, "Teaching others to do the same thing, is it really up to you?"

"What's wrong when it's my turn?" Lin Ye looked at him, "Do you think I can just point fingers at you?"

As the two of them talked, the gunpowder smell gradually became stronger. Xu Zhao couldn't figure out the situation, and said in a daze, "Talk well, don't even..."

"Do you dare?" Lin Jinyu looked at Lin Ye, and said, "Dare to tell everyone here that you like it..." He glanced at Xu Zhao out of the corner of his eye, changed the topic temporarily, and said, "Like...who."

Lin Ye got up from the ground, changed from sitting to squatting, and said to Lin Jinyu in the night breeze of the playground, "Get up."

"Do...what?"

Lin Ye said, "Take your piano and get up."

Lin Jinyu was at a loss, he followed Lin Ye hesitantly to stand up from the grass, Lin Ye could not help but grab his wrist, and pulled him towards the crowd not far away.

"What are you doing, let go!" Lin Jinyu seemed very resistant. He tried to shake off Lin Ye's hand, but he couldn't.

Lin Ye walked quickly, leaving behind Xu Zhao who was hesitant and didn't know whether he should follow: "Didn't you ask me if I dare, I dare to tell everyone that I like men, and I dare to say who I like. "

Lin Jinyu broke away from him: "What does that have to do with me! You are awesome, you are amazing, you are a hero, I'm a coward, okay! Don't force me anymore!"

He really felt that he was about to be overwhelmed. The pressure from his studies, from his parents, from himself, and now even Lin Ye began to reprimand him.

Lin Jinyu squatted down on the spot, wiped her eyes, and turned her head to hide her face in the shadow.

His eyes were flushed, Lin Ye finally stopped, softened his tone, and said, "I just want to tell you, there's nothing terrible about it...it's just loving someone, I dare to say it, and you dare to say it too."

"That's you," Lin Jinyu felt that he really didn't understand herself at all: "It doesn't matter if you say it, but if I say it, then..."

"What will happen?" Lin Ye asked him: "What will happen? Will it die, or will the world be destroyed?"

"It will be very... painful." Lin Jinyu said, "It's really... very painful."

"So what about pain?" Lin Ye asked, "Are you so afraid of pain?"

Lin Jinyu looked at him with red eyes: "Not only the pain, but also my father, mother, friends, and classmates. Do you know what they will think of me?"

"And then?" Lin Ye said: "They look at you with that kind of eyes, okay, then watch, after reading it? You are still you, if they don't look at you, you are not you? You are not a support Supplementary to survival through the eyes of others."

Lin Ye spoke quickly, even a little aggressively: "Are you afraid? Are you afraid that people will look at you, call you perverted, or call you disgusting? But what can you do when you're done?"

So what if you're done scolding... Lin Jinyu hasn't thought about this question yet.

"Don't you like scolding you?" Lin Ye said, "Or do you not like others looking at you that way? You say you will suffer, but won't you suffer if you don't?"

Lin Jinyu was dumbfounded by his series of questions. He always felt that speaking out was a very painful and unlikely matter, but in Lin Ye's eyes, this matter seemed as natural and natural as eating and drinking.

"But... what's the point of saying it?" Lin Jinyu thought: Anyway, it's impossible for him and Zhang Xinli to be together.

"This is meaning, and expression itself is meaning." Lin Ye said: "Expressing your love, your thoughts, telling the world that you exist, and that you exist in your original form is itself meaning."

Their voices were a bit loud, which attracted students from the department not far away who were sitting around to celebrate their birthdays to probe their brains. Lin Jinyu stared blankly at Lin Ye, as if he was still digesting the information in his words.

"Pick up your piano now," Lin Ye said, "Stop talking nonsense like 'I don't want to play anymore', I am working so hard to change the score for you, not to see you choose the last one," he said: "Pile them up one by one, and pull them to listen."

"What?" Lin Jinyu hadn't recovered from his last sentence, but was startled by the next sentence, and said repeatedly: "No, no, no, no... Absolutely not, I can't pull it off at all! "

"You pulled it well," Lin Ye said with great certainty, "You could pull it off a long time ago."

Lin Jinyu didn't even know where his inexplicable confidence came from, he said: "No, no, absolutely not."

Lin Ye pushed his piano into his arms and pushed his back to move forward. Lin Jinyu resisted with all his strength, but couldn't withstand the push of Lin Ye, who was five years older than him.

Lin Ye pushed him to the vicinity of the circle of people, and said loudly to his classmates who he had never met at the same school: "Well... my brother is a little stage frighted, and I want to play a song for you to practice... It won't take long!"

The juniors themselves were also celebrating the department members' birthdays, and the atmosphere was very lively. Several girls who took the lead looked at Lin Jinyu and said, "It's all right, come on, we just happen to be playing a game here, and we haven't started cutting the cake yet. "Others echoed.

Lin Ye thanked them, then turned around and asked Lin Jinyu to come over.

Lin Jinyu was so embarrassed that she almost wanted to turn around and run away, but Lin Ye picked him up like a chick and insisted on forcing him to pass through this barrier.

Just like that time in Liangshan, he was kicked out of the shelves.Lin Jinyu had no choice but to open the piano bag... That piano was borrowed by Lin Ye from a classmate. It was well-made and the panel was shiny red.

He was so nervous that his hands were shaking a little, and when he took out the piano, he almost fell to the ground. Lin Ye came over to help him tune it, messing around, and warned: "Take it easy, this piano is [-] yuan, play it well."

[-] yuan for a professional playing piano is not particularly expensive, but to Lin Jinyu, it is indeed a treasure that needs to be carefully cared for. He swallowed, and under the watchful eyes of Lin Ye's juniors The piano and the bow...the first note was drawn with some trembling.

As bad as ever, Lin Jinyu was so nervous that her hands shook uncontrollably, and her voice trembled a little.

As a fretless instrument, the violin is not easy to make every sound full and perfect. Lin Jinyu's arms and fingers trembled, and the sound would change if he pressed the strings at the high position a little bit. He couldn't press it well. The pronunciation is naturally inaccurate, and some sections are hoarse and mocking.

In all fairness, this was a very car accident scene. Lin Jinyu couldn't bear the pressure and didn't perform at all.

In the past, Lin Ye would stop if he made a slight mistake, and then Biliba corrected him a lot, but this time he didn't say anything, just stood there and listened quietly.

Lin Jinyu was wrapped in a huge sense of shame, feeling as if she was naked for people to watch.

Most of the birthday students also studied music. They sat on the grass and looked up at Lin Jinyu, listening to his sometimes beautiful and sometimes trembling piano sound. No one moved or hissed.

After a not-so-good piano sound stopped, everyone applauded enthusiastically and lasted for a long time.Lin Jinyu felt ashamed, and bowed while playing the piano.

Lin Ye didn't say anything, pointed to another group of people resting on the playground in front of him, and said, "Continue."

Lin Jinyu couldn't refuse, he was driven by Lin Ye like a prisoner, and walked to another place in front of him, tired from running, sitting in front of a girl resting on the grass.

Lin Ye roughly repeated what he said just now, and the two girls nodded, a little shy, but looking forward to it.

Lin Jinyu calmed down and took a breath... put the piano on her shoulders again, and began to play the piano for the second time.

The playground was huge, with a constant flow of people but it was very quiet. The lights were as bright as snow, shining on Lin Jinyu's face and his piano.

In the beginning, his whole body was almost filled with tension, and his mind was empty. His arms and hands moved mechanically, like a trembling machine... However, no matter whether he pulled well or not, Lin Ye didn't care. Do any review, just say sentence after sentence: "Go ahead."

As one song after another ended and started, Lin Jinyu gradually forgot the nervousness of being exposed to others.

Maybe he was used to it, or he was numb. He began to feel every note flowing from his fingertips, tender, lingering, confiding, and entangled. He walked through groups of people under the leadership of Lin Ye. There are boys who sit and rest on the sidelines after playing football, girls who stop and stand by the side of the road after a walk, teachers who play with children, and couples who sit leaning on each other.

He played for everyone he passed, but no longer attached to the audience.

Scenes of those fragmentary memories flashed in Lin Jinyu's mind. From Liangshan to Shanghai, from strange to familiar, his heart changed from empty to full of sweetness and sourness.

Lin Jinyu was no longer ashamed of thinking of Zhang Xinli. He forgot fear, panic, shame and all other miscellaneous emotions. He walked from the light to the darkness, and from the darkness back to the light, all the way forward from this side of the playground. , all the way to the other end, the sound of his piano remained in the entire playground.

The sound of the piano became more and more smooth, lingering, and approaching perfection... "lotipensoamore" is an aria to express love.

When the last note fell, Lin Jinyu stood still and panted slightly as if she had gone through a huge trial. The last performance was a near-perfect presentation, which made the listeners feel that it was a whisper to her lover.

People around who were listening or had already listened put down their mobile phones and applauded one after another. Lin Jinyu stood in the circle of applause and looked at the crowd blankly.

He seemed to have finally obtained something, but he seemed to be holding nothingness in his arms.

Lin Jinyu slowly put down the piano worth 8 yuan. He stood there silently, and suddenly began to cry silently.

Lin Ye stepped forward and hugged him gently: "You've done a good job...there is nothing better than this." He whispered: "Lin Jinyu, no matter whether you can get the love you want in the end, you have to learn to be brave , learn to show your true self to everyone like this."

……

No matter for Lin Ye, Lin Jinyu, or everyone who has heard him play the piano on the playground, this is a special night.

It was already very late when he returned to the dormitory, only 10 minutes before the lights were turned off, the campus was pitch black, and there were no students on the way.

Lin Jinyu played the piano for a long time and just cried again. She was very tired from the inside out.He didn't even bother to brush his teeth, he just wanted to go back to the dormitory quickly, go to bed, whatever, and sleep well.

He carried his piano on his back and walked downstairs to the dormitory, but suddenly stopped in his tracks.

Sitting under the dim light bulb in front of the dormitory building was a man with a broad back and a warm yellow layer of stubble hair under the light.

Lin Jinyu's pace became slower and slower, and finally stopped completely two meters away from him.He said, "You..."

Sitting on the steps, Zhang Xinli raised his head when he heard a voice saying, "I came to look for you...but you're not here."

His eyes were very unusual, gloomy and hostile, and he held a stack of papers of unknown nature in his hand.

Zhang Xinli seemed to have kept this posture for a long time, the part of the paper he was pinching was wrinkled and slightly damp.

Lin Jinyu walked over, glanced at the stack of papers, and suddenly understood everything... It was a stack of transfer materials that needed to be stamped.

Transferring required time to prepare materials and contact the school. His father moved too quickly. Lin Jinyu originally thought that Lin Huainan would at least tell Zhang Xinli when he was on vacation.

Zhang Xinli looked at him and asked, "Where have you been?"

The voice was very cold, Lin Jinyu said, "Go...to practice the piano."

It was self-evident who he was with, Zhang Xinli looked away from his face, stood up and walked past him without saying anything.

Lin Jinyu grabbed his wrist and asked, "Where are you going?"

"Go back," Zhang Xinli said, "I just came to tell you that I'm going to transfer schools."

But needless to say now, Lin Jinyu understood everything the moment she saw the materials.

Even though Lin Jinyu already knew about it, she still felt a sharp pain in her heart...His father had ten thousand legitimate reasons for Zhang Xinli to transfer back to another school.

It was already very late at this point, the subway and bus had already stopped, it was unlikely that Zhang Xinli would ask someone to bring him here, it could only be by subway...God knows how long he had been sitting on the steps downstairs.

Zhang Xinli said, "Relax, I'm going back."

Lin Jinyu didn't let go, and the days they stayed together became less and less every day.

Zhang Xinli frowned, turned to look at him, Lin Jinyu looked at him, and said, "...don't go."

Zhang Xinli was a little surprised by this kind of trivial lines. Lin Jinyu always flaunted his teeth and claws in words, and would be awkward even if he admitted a mistake. He had never seen him so... well-behaved.

Lin Jinyu tugged at him, and repeated in a low voice: "Don't go... okay."

Zhang Xinli did not move.

Lin Jinyu couldn't remember how she led him to open the door, go upstairs and then back to the dormitory, probably because she missed it too much, missed it and was sad, and when he came back to his senses, he was already lying on the narrow single bed with Zhang Xinli .

The mosquito net was white and clean, and the single bed in the dormitory was extremely cramped. Zhang Xinli hadn't said a word since he climbed the stairs, and now he was lying facing the wall with his back to him. Under the pillow, like a coal fire.

It seems that it has been a long time since they fell asleep under the same quilt like this.

Lin Jinyu lay on his back for a while, then turned to face Zhang Xinli. Zhang Xinli did not move, but Lin Jinyu knew he was not asleep.

He looked at Zhang Xinli's exposed hand, which was unconsciously clenched into a fist, and the scar on the arm was clearly visible.

"I'm just going to practice the piano," Lin Jinyu said in a voice that only Zhang Xinli could hear, regardless of whether he wanted to hear it or not, "I don't like Lin Ye, I just want to play it for you on the day of the performance."

There was silence over there, and after a long time, Zhang Xinli said, "Yes."

Lin Jinyu leaned over gently, slowly put her forehead on Zhang Xinli's back, grabbed the clothes on Zhang Xinli's back, and suddenly asked softly, "Brother, can you... give me a hug."

It was not so much a question asking for consent, but rather a humble plea... Zhang Xinli was silent for a moment, then turned around, stretched out his arms to pass behind him, and hugged him.

Lin Jinyu was hugged by him, and also stretched out his arms to hug his neck. Zhang Xinli closed his eyes and pressed his face against his neck. Lin Jinyu could feel him trembling slightly.

"I'm going back..." He heard Zhang Xinli murmur, "Start again, I won't come back again."

There are many differences between the college entrance examination systems in Shanghai and Sichuan. Lin Jinyu is not very clear about this, but Zhang Xinli knows what it means very clearly. It means that the lessons that have never been studied have to be restarted, the math and English question types have changed drastically, Changes in test items and scores... That means too much.

But they were powerless to resist. The only thing Lin Jinyu could do was to hug him tightly and with all his strength.

He stroked Zhang Xinli's hair and patted his back lightly... just like when Zhang Xinli comforted him.

"It will be fine," Lin Jinyu said, "It will all... pass."

Words may be weak, but at this age of nothing, promises are the only thing they can give each other.

He said: "No matter where you go... I will be with you."