fail love

Tao Zhi recalled all the things that happened during the three months of treatment, and there was not much fluctuation in his heart. He didn't know if it was the effect of the medicine. His heart was completely numb. The paintbrush felt as heavy as a thousand catties. For a long time, he was unable to pick up the brush to create. The drug effect made his hands tremble and his mind went blank.

Tao Zhi sometimes thought about whether he would never be able to pick up a paintbrush again. This is a big problem. He has been learning to paint since he was very young. If he can no longer paint in the future, Tao Zhi doesn't know what else he can pursue. of.

His love and dreams were buried in the unwarmed winter, his body still had vitality, but his soul remained silent for a long time.

Thinking of Yan Shu again, he felt more ashamed and guilty. Tao Zhi felt that he was locked in the closet when he was young again. He was naked and bruised for others to entertain.Those confessions under the summer evening wind, those hugs in those cold nights, and those words of love have all become clumsy paintings by stupid painters. Yan Shu did not say "good morning" to him in the first ray of sunshine in the morning, and did not say "good morning" to him in the first ray of sunshine in the morning. Holding him in the middle of the night and calling him "baby", he didn't say any sentimental words in Ji Xia's evening breeze, and they never met again, Yan Shu never came to him once, everything was fabricated by Tao Zhi for himself illusion.

Fortunately, this nightmare finally stopped, in a messy and pale form.

In the six months since he was discharged from the hospital, his mother has been taking Tao Zhi to travel around. In the Georgian Castle Hotel, Tao Zhi suddenly felt very cold. He was lying on the bed, but he was still cold. He hugged himself tightly under the blanket and kept trembling. Tao Zhi felt like he was broken. He covered his face and couldn't help crying. The pillow was wet with tears, but he felt much better. , the feeling of no waves in his heart is also uncomfortable, he needs an outlet to vent.

Mother was sleeping in another bed, and she went around the castle for half an hour in the middle of the night. When she came up, Tao Zhi was still crying, and the tears gradually disappeared on his thin cheeks. He was sleeping between three quilts, Shrunk into a pitiful little ball.

Mom put the essential oil aromatherapy she just bought on the bedside. The faint floral fragrance made Tao Zhi feel better. Mom lifted the quilt and slept next to Tao Zhi. She gently hugged her child, and Tao Zhi put his head on her shoulder. , The soft and fluffy hair is scattered on the mother's arm.Although Tao Zhi has grown so big, but he is lying in her arms, mother can easily think of Tao Zhi when he was a child.

While patting Tao Zhi's back, his mother hummed a song to lull him to sleep. The melody of the lullaby changed several times in the middle, turning into broken sobs. Tao Zhi put his hand under his mother's cheek, fingertips kept Wet by the warm tears, Tao Zhi felt very guilty. He didn't want his family to worry about him anymore, but he always troubled others.

In the early morning, Tao Zhi still did not fall asleep. He opened his eyes and watched the sky slowly change from dead gray to thin morning color. The golden thread was like the edge of a sharp sword. Blood was seen when the light was opened, so the sky was full of blood red. The bright red glow of the morning glow shone on Tao Zhi's face and chest, making him suspect that it was the blood of his heart.

"Yan Shu" came again, Tao Zhi turned his eyes to freeze on the side of the bed, "Yan Shu" stood beside his bed for a long time, slightly bent down and held Tao Zhi's hand, Tao Zhi was a little greedy for this kind of warmth for a while , he squirmed his pale lips, and called softly: "Yan Shu."

The hand stretched by his side was tightened, Tao Zhi knew that it was his mother, this was his sleepless night, and it was also his mother's.

After Tao Zhi called out, there was no sound. His mother raised her head slightly, but she saw Tao Zhi was still staring at a certain place. In just a few months, Tao Zhi lost weight rapidly. His face was as pale as a cold expression. It took a long time to gently withdraw my hand from her palm.

The golden-red haze is dotted in Tao Zhi's blue lake-like pupils. He blinked his eyes lightly, his expression relaxed and weak, as if he was going to sleep immediately after being extremely tired. Tao Zhi said slowly to the air: "You go, I won't cry."

Tao Zhi did not cry, but his mother's tears kept pouring down, which wet the back of Tao Zhi's hand. Tao Zhi felt the wetness on the back of his hand, and felt that he had lied again. He rubbed his sore eyes and turned over. He hugged his mother, "Mom, it's okay, everything will be fine in the future."

After the trip, Tao Zhi received another MECT treatment. Just after the treatment, he forgot a lot of things, and he was always in a state of lightness during this time.

At this time, Wang Siyu came to visit Tao Zhi on vacation, only to find that the place that Tao Zhi rented had been sublet to someone else. He specially asked Tao Zhi for a new address, but Tao Zhi actually didn’t want him to come and see For himself, he felt that his condition was too bad and he was ashamed to see others, but Wang Siyu was very firm, and Tao Zhi still told him his new address.

Wang Siyu heard that Tao Zhi was sick and needed some Alpha pheromones with high compatibility to appease him. Wang Siyu went to the hospital and took two tubes of pheromone stock solution from his glands, which flattened his glands. vain.

Tao Zhi was very moved while holding the two tubes of hard-won pheromone stock solution, and thanked Wang Siyu several times. Born."

The two stood on the balcony. Today was a rare fine day. The sun made Tao Zhi warm all over. He wanted to sleep. He had been in a coma for two days, but he still felt tired. Holding a cigarette between his fingers, Wang Siyu boredly Cigarettes were twirling around between his fingers, he scratched his head and asked Tao Zhi: "What's wrong with you? Why don't you go to school, and you've lost so much weight."

Tao Zhi tried his best to open his eyes, showing a small weak smile, "It's an old problem, the pressure is too much, and the spirit is not good, so I'll suspend school first."

Wang Siyu saw that Tao Zhi was staring at the cigarette in his hand, so he handed Tao Zhi a cigarette. Tao Zhi looked at it curiously for a long time, Wang Siyu chuckled lightly, and asked him: "Do you know how to smoke?"

"Not very good." Tao Zhi said truthfully. Wang Siyu took out the lighter, lit a cigarette for himself first, and then lit another for Tao Zhi. Tao Zhi took a sip, and the strong smell of tobacco rushed straight into his nose. Couldn't help coughing, Wang Siyu looked at him and laughed, he held a cigarette to his mouth, he looked very handsome, and he was a bit sunny, "Do you still remember, I took you to smoke before, Yan Shu I smelled it on you, and told you that I was crying, you liked crying so much at that time, crying was not enough, little crying bag."

Tao Zhi was stunned for a moment when he heard Wang Siyu's words. Wang Siyu thought he had forgotten about it. In fact, Tao Zhi didn't even remember the name "Yan Shu". , Thinking about it made his brain ache, and then he remembered the flashing fragments. He carefully squeezed out the cigarette in his hand, his expression was a little depressed, he shook his head and said vaguely: "Forgot..."

Wang Siyu was also unwilling to mention his former rival in love. Seeing that Tao Zhi was not very happy, he blew smoke rings on Tao Zhi to tease him. Tao Zhi was easily attracted to him like a child, and the two laughed together on the balcony until Mom asked them to go in and eat.

Wang Siyu didn't stay here for a long time, and Tao Zhi couldn't go crazy with him even if he was sick, he had to go to the event at night, Tao Zhi sent him all the way to the gate of the community, laughing at his weak legs and jumping around, Wang Siyu hugged him shoulder, and tapped his forehead hard, "Your brother is called a golden gun. Next time, when you feel better, I will take you to play again."

Tao Zhi stood in front of him, raised his head and smiled innocently at him, his dense eyelashes cast a faint shadow on his lower eyelids, Wang Siyu felt in a trance that he was back in high school, and something changed in his heart, even after seeing so many feasting and feasting He would still be easily hit by the original innocence, he stretched out his hand and touched Tao Zhi's cheek, feeling a little sorry for Tao Zhi's loss of weight, "I'm sorry for being sick, little poor one, get well soon."

"With your pheromone, it will be fine soon." Tao Zhi gathered his coat, Wang Siyu looked down at his toes, his earlobe was red, he secretly looked at Tao Zhi, and whispered: "I want to go Yes, you and I can hug each other, like friends hugging each other."

Wang Siyu looked awkward, Tao Zhi looked at him curiously, and he became angry with embarrassment: "Just hug one, what's the matter, look at me like this?"

Tao Zhi couldn't help but tilted his head and laughed, walked forward a few steps, and hugged Wang Siyu with his arms open. Tao Zhi was only as tall as his shoulders, and it didn't weigh much in his arms. Tao Zhi said softly: " Thank you for visiting me."

Wang Siyu felt that he was going to cry, and he secretly scolded himself for being hypocritical. He brushed Tao Zhi's cheek with his mouth, and stood up neatly, and said goodbye to Tao Zhi solemnly.

Tao Zhi stood in the distance and watched Wang Siyu's back go away. He fell into a moment of absent-mindedness, his feet were sore, and he regained his senses and walked slowly towards the original direction.

He suddenly heard someone calling him, Tao Zhi turned his head, and accidentally saw Yan Shu's face, Yan Shu was standing a dozen steps away from him, Tao Zhi froze for a moment, he was thinking about the identity of the person who came, which caused him to suddenly Thinking of that moment, his expression was a little flustered, but soon calmed down again.

Yan Shu hurriedly took two steps towards him, Tao Zhi suddenly stepped back four or five times, staring at Yan Shu nervously, his pale lips pursed tightly.

Yan Shu didn't go any further. His expression was so sad, just like when Tao Zhi told him to leave in Georgia. Tao Zhi opened his mouth and spoke first, "Don't pester me."

"Is this what you mean?" Yan Shu sat on the plane for more than ten hours, his eyes were red, and the bright red bloodshot eyes on the whites made him look extremely embarrassed. From so far away, he could still smell Tao The smell of ebony on Rank's body.

It is very difficult to maintain a relationship in a foreign country. Yan Shu has no pheromones that match Tao Zhi. He knows that this relationship is bound to encounter difficulties. Tao Zhi has been in contact with him frequently since the beginning of the relationship, and then ignores him later. Yan Shu's news and ignoring his phone calls are not a big deal to Yan Shu. He is very tolerant of Tao Zhi. As long as Tao Zhi likes him, he can continue to cross the two countries and come to Tao Zhi's side.

Tao Zhi's attitude towards him became more and more indifferent, and finally blocked him without saying a word. Yan Shu took time out of his busy work to rush to country D, only to find that Tao Zhi's original residence was empty. Yu Yanlun said that his mother took Tao Zhi to travel around, and Yan Shu, who lost all Tao Zhi's news, could only wait hopelessly.

Tao Zhi lowered his head, even at this moment, Yan Shu found that he still sadly wanted to hug Tao Zhi, even if he knew that the comfort he wanted was not his, he couldn't accept it, he wanted to ask Tao Zhi about this relationship What is in his eyes?

Forget the false new love of the old love?Then what is he, why do you treat him like this, why does he give his sincerity, to Tao Zhi, it is just the comfort of loneliness during the empty window, when he finds his true love again, Yan Shu will be abandoned like a shoestring.

"Well, don't come to me anymore, I want to start a new life." Tao Zhi took a deep breath, and he showed his courage, "You know, our pheromone compatibility is not high, I don't want to do this again down."

Yan Shu choked up for a moment, he could accept Tao Zhi because he was young, and young people always liked to play around a little bit, and he was quickly attracted by other people, but he couldn't accept that he brought up pheromone compatibility as an issue, which was equivalent to his initial love. His feelings went straight to the ground, and his sincerity and passion became weak in the face of this ridiculous reason.

Adults have to be decent when they end their relationships. In fact, when Tao Zhi became indifferent without saying a word, Yan Shu should stop the pace of his fall in time, but he can't control himself. Love is unseemly and dripping. He asked Tao Zhi hysterically: "Then what am I? Tao Tao, what is our relationship?"

Tao Zhi looked at him calmly. Although there were only a few dozen steps between them, it seemed that there was a gap. Summary: "It doesn't count, the dream always wakes up."

Yan Shu felt that Tao Zhi had dug a huge hole in his heart. Tao Zhi was indeed his blood, his flesh, and his bones. Now his flesh and blood were all in severe pain. He didn't know that Tao Zhi Whether it hurts as much as him, probably not, Tao Zhi looked so indifferent, he glanced at him, then turned around and walked back slowly.

Yan Shu stared blankly at Tao Zhi's back. The wind blew Tao Zhi's empty clothes against his body. He looked like he was about to be blown down by the wind at any time, but he walked in the opposite direction resolutely.

His ears kept ringing, the evening wind at the beginning of summer, Tao Zhi's eyes were like blue waves and spring water, he said: "Brother, I really like you."

Yan Shu knew about this dream and would not wake up.