[Vampire Diaries] I can't give you happiness

I feel that my whole body is exhausted, the heart that fulfilled me finally came to ask for interest, I woke up from my sleep panting, it feels like a drowning person when he desperately needs air, the trachea is like Being blocked, I opened my mouth to breathe heavily, but my body's demand for oxygen could not be satisfied, and the pain in the heart was so painful, it was unbearable for me to be cut like a knife.

I tried to close my eyes, breathe slowly, and even negatively thought that it would be okay if I had a heart attack right now, not because I didn't want to fulfill the promise but because my body didn't allow it, then Clause probably wouldn't hurt Lexi either.It's just that after I was not so eager, it also quieted down, and I sighed, life still has to go on.

I got out of bed and opened the medicine in the luggage. Several medicines together filled my entire palm. I stared at it for a long time, because my body was getting more and more exhausted, and the normal dose of medicine was no longer effective. I had to get it. Three times more than the normal dose, then I closed my eyes and stuffed all the capsules, no matter white, black, red, or green, into my mouth.

Before the night of the full moon, I never thought that I would see her again, but it was indeed her voice that came from that strange number.I don't think it's a good time to meet her alone. After all, I live here with Clause and she is his prey. In fact, I am just like her. We should be more sympathetic to each other than anyone else. But I really don't want to see her, especially after what happened the night before, I'm afraid that I can't help being jealous and angry, I'm afraid that I will be exposed and then be pitied.

It's just that I could hear her eagerness, so I silently agreed.Although I don't want to go out, I don't even want to see the sun, but I'm not hot enough to let her come to me.

So I was wearing a baggy coat with a hood on it, and I put the hood on my head, and with my head down, I staggered on the road like an old man.

I thought she would propose to go to Bonnie's, but she made an appointment at a small strange cafe on the edge of the town, which was really far away from my place, and even after getting off the car, I still had to walk a long way.I even doubt the significance of the existence of the cafe, after all, the traffic is not convenient and sparsely populated.It was only when I arrived that I realized how superfluous my thoughts were. Even on such a non-weekend afternoon, that remote place was full of [-]% of guests. I looked around and realized that because it was the edge, so the The scenery is much better than that in the central area. There are creepers around the house, and the store lets them grow randomly. If the door and windows are not open, it will make people feel like a forest plant hut. There is a small waterfall not far outside the store. The sound of the water brushing down is very rhythmic, and there is a forest behind it. This is indeed a place suitable for relaxation, and even I like it here.

Elena seemed to have been here for a long time. She was sitting at a round table by the window, with her hands on the table, moving it left and right, staring at a certain part of the tablecloth, and she looked very anxious.

"Hello", my voice made her raise her head suddenly, then her eyes widened, and it took her two seconds to recover before she recovered.

Seeing her like this, I was a little worried. What happened to make her so uneasy?So I asked softly, "What's wrong?"

She looked straight at me, opened her mouth slightly, but didn't make a sound. She hesitated to speak several times. I waited patiently until she took a sip of juice and took a deep breath. She held me tightly. hand, "Tammy, can you help me?"

I asked puzzledly, and she started to panic, "I don't know, I shouldn't come to you, but I don't know what to do, I'm very scared..."

Instead, I held her hand tightly, stabilized her firmly, and said, "Elena, let's talk slowly, what's wrong with you?"

"I, I..." She pursed her lips tightly, turned her head to look at the ground, and exhaled, "I'm really not ready to become a vampire."

I think I kind of understand what's causing her so much pain, but there's really nothing I can do about it, I have magical blood, but I don't know anything about it, and I don't even know as much as Bonnie.

She finally confronted me, "I know I'm selfish, but I'm only 17, I'm not ready, I'm not sure if I'm going to have kids, I'm not sure if I'm going to be a mother, my future is too big So much uncertainty, but when it's all taken away, it hurts. It's not that I don't love Stefan, and it's not that I don't want to be with him, I'm just, just..." She was eager to express She was speechless in the end, and she also knew the contradictions in her words, so she felt that they were not convincing, so she stopped and looked at me blankly.I think I understand her complicated feelings. Although becoming a vampire can live forever, but since then, I will be in the dark, and too many parts of being a human will disappear. This kind of species change that happens to me is really uncomfortable.

Seeing that I didn't speak, she smiled wryly, "I understand that my thoughts are very selfish, last time John has already sacrificed his life for me, I can't always expect others to sacrifice everything for me." I don't like to see her like this Lonely, although I envy her, but I hope she is beautiful and energetic, because she is my friend.I walked up to Elena and hugged her, "At least you have a reason to live forever, don't you?"

She looked up at me puzzled, and I smiled, "Elena, my dear friend, can you promise not to tell anyone what I'm about to say?" She was still puzzled, but nodded.

I returned to my seat and asked the waiter to bring a glass of soda, "Elena, I know you hate your doppelganger, I know you blame yourself for hurting so many relatives, and I understand your conflicted feelings. It is true that you are only 17 years old and you are still young as you said, but everything is going to be lost. But I am sorry, I really can't help you, otherwise I will do everything I can. Stefan can't lose you, Jeremy can't lose you, Bonnie I can’t lose you, and of course, Damon can’t lose you either…” After I finished speaking, I paused bitterly. It is undoubtedly a cruel thing to say that my sweetheart cares about others, so I can only borrow Water to disguise and condition itself.I took a deep breath and continued, "There are two possibilities for your fate, one is to die completely, and the other is to transform into a vampire, and you have so much love and reluctance, this is why you become a vampire Reason, even for the one you love and the one who loves you, it is worth giving up something.”

After listening to my words, she was touched. In fact, she didn't understand in her heart. It's just that knowing it is one thing, but accepting it is another.

"I'm about to die, but it's very possible that transformation won't save me." I said this lightly, and it really made her eyes widen in surprise, "How could that be?"

I held her hand and comforted me, "I have a congenital heart disease, so I couldn't live to be 20 years old. Besides, I'm a hybrid of a human vampire and a werewolf. Even the blood of a vampire may not allow me to continue to exist in this world." go down."

Elena shook her head in disbelief, "Why, how could this be?" Her eyes began to turn red, which moved me very much, at least she also cared about me.

"On the night of the full moon, besides you, Clause also needs me. Although he didn't say whether he wanted to kill me, but even if he didn't want my life, I should have a heart attack after all those intense things. Last time If Caroline hadn't saved me, maybe I would have died that time."

"Then, then take their blood before, I'll ask Stefan for it," she said, and she got up in a panic.I pulled her back and shook my head, "Elena, as I said, it doesn't necessarily work for me."

She pressed my shoulder, "But we have to give it a try, you mean it might not work, maybe it will work."

Although our actions attracted the attention of other people, and even the clerk was ready to come to remind us, although she pressed my shoulder with great strength, which made me a little hurt, but my heart was very warm, and the feeling of being cared about was really real very good.

I smiled, "Elena, but I don't want to live anymore."

She didn't understand, "Why?"

"My parents and grandma have passed away. My life is too painful. I want to be with them. My mother died because of me. I have suffered from this since I was a child. If my body is healthy Yes, then I will try my best to live on and continue their bloodline, but God wants me to die, even if I can live forever, what's the point? I really don't want to suffer so much pain." Moreover, I can't bear Damon's love Your fact, I buried this sentence in my heart and didn't say it.

Elena hugged me violently, neither of us spoke.It wasn't until a long time later that she said, "Tammy, thank you, I think I feel better, and it's actually not that difficult to accept, but you..."

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine like this, really, as long as you remember me forever, that's enough", my words like last words made her cry sadly, she nodded fiercely.

"Don't tell anyone about me, not even Stefan, not even Bonnie, not even", I ordered, she still nodded fiercely, "Even Damon", my tone was too light when I said the name Too soft, if Elena is not immersed in sadness, I think she will definitely see my feelings for him, but she doesn't know, so as not to be burdened.

When night fell, we finally parted.On the left and right of the intersection, the street lights elongated my shadow, I looked up at the sky, and smiled with relief.As long as Elena can survive, then he should be satisfied, right?

What I didn't know was that because Elena disappeared all day, Stefan and Damon went crazy, and finally saw her figure in the dark, and heard her say that today I was chatting with me, Damon seemed to have something to say. thoughtfully bid farewell to them.

On the way back, I always felt that someone was following me, but I didn't turn my head. No matter who it is, who cares?

But passers-by on the road saw an oriental girl walking slowly in front, and another tall man followed silently 50 meters away. He had a pair of brown eyes, but his expression was complicated and difficult to distinguish, until the girl entered apartment before he turned and left.