winter suicide plan

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"Tang Fengxing, I didn't answer your calls, I didn't reply to your messages, I didn't expect to take care of people here? Come out and we have something to talk about."

I was a little afraid to hide back, but her eyes passed me directly, piercing my body like a silver-white arrow.

I pushed his hand and shrank back: "I'm looking for you, you go, she looks very angry."

"Tang Rumeng, no matter how big or small, can you keep your voice down, kick the door, and want me to pay you? What are you doing in the boys' dormitory, and Auntie let you come up?" Tang Fengxing put down the bowl and stopped me from going. The body shrunk in the corner of the bed: "Don't be afraid, this is my sister."

younger sister?

I looked at it for a while, and it was indeed somewhat similar, with bright eyes like Tang Fengxing's, but with sharp eyes, she glanced at me and said, "You were born a few seconds earlier than me, so I don't recognize you. You are an older brother. There are outsiders here, so go outside and talk."

"Understood." Tang Fengxing rarely spoke in a cold voice, turned to me and said, "I'll be back later."

I leaned against the corner, the door was closed, and in a quiet room, I didn't have the boring energy to listen to the private affairs of their brothers and sisters.

I moved my fingers, moved my legs, my stomach was warm, and the sweet and sour taste of tomatoes was in my mouth, so I wasn't in such a bad mood anymore.I put my head against the gray wall. The wall I saw when I woke up that night was different, and now I can see no scary bloodstains.

It's a dream, fortunately it's a dream.

There are words on the wall, which should be some messy chicken soup words written by the previous sessions, and there are still some hopes, hopes, should all the wishes in the heart be written?

This illness has made me sentimental, and it really bothers me.

I touched the faded words written on it, and my mind flew to those words Tang Fengxing said.He is very worried about me, but I am not as good as he wants.He didn't panic, he had to sacrifice himself to take care of me like this.

Now I'm thinking about how to pay him back so that he doesn't suffer so much.

I raised my head back and took a pen, wrote a few words on the palm of my hand, turned it over and over and looked satisfied, and smiled at it.

He came back with a bit of cold air on his body, he let out white air to warm his hands, Tang Fengxing took clothes from the closet for me and said: "There will be classes later, let's go out for a stroll, the weather outside is good. We will go to attend lectures later , I have to write my homework."

I squeezed my palms and nodded. He patiently helped my injured arm through the sleeve of my clothes. When he was serious, his eyes were still bright, with broken light.He put me in the wheelchair, and I asked him if he had eaten, and he said he had. I reached out and touched his stomach, but he shrank back in shock, but I touched it.

Flat without ups and downs, I looked up and said, you lied to me.

He touched his hair and said embarrassedly, then you can go to dinner with me.

He also knew that I drank more than half a bowl of soup, and I might throw up again if I ate it again, so he would not force me to eat again, but I must eat something.

I wanted to go to the bathroom, and asked him for a cane, and he handed it to me. I was somewhat stiff on the crutches, and the moment I stood up, I felt dizzy, and the layers of darkness in front of my eyes seemed to be plunged into black sesame paste.I shook my head lightly, is it a side effect of the medicine again?

Sighed, although it was difficult to move freely, but the hand was not seriously injured, it was just twisted, and now it is stiff.

He tried to help me, but I pushed him and told him to wait for me outside.

I went into the toilet, and black bills appeared in front of my eyes again. I felt dizzy around and around, and my whole body was a little hot. My legs and feet were uncontrollable, and I fell backwards. I subconsciously grabbed the wall with my hands, and my body hit the wall. Loud crashing sound.

Tang Fengxing immediately put his arms around my back, his vision was not clear, and his whole body was weak. He asked me if I had no strength, could I go to the toilet?

I was so ashamed in my heart that in this situation, he could only help me. He saw that I tilted my head and knew that I was so ashamed, so he took off my pants.

Yep, watched Cavernosa again.

His cold hand grabbed my cavernous body, I grabbed his arm in a panic, trembling for a while, I didn’t dare to go up, he murmured in my ear and said, I won’t even go to the toilet, I won’t look at you, go up Bar.

I've watched it twice, what else can I do, the jar is broken.

I relaxed my body, put my body into his arms, blushed, and hid my face in the socket of his neck, the hot breath from my nostrils rushed to his neck, bounced back to my own face, scorching hot.

He tilted his head and pressed his chin against the hair on the top of my head. My body became hotter, and the hand holding my sponge body also became hotter. He said don't be shy, it's okay.

After I finished solving, he put on his pants, helped me go back to the wheelchair, and covered me with a blanket. His face was also red, and so was mine. My heartbeat was about to jump out of my throat. I don’t know if it was embarrassment. Yes, or another reason.

I was stunned and didn't say a word, and he didn't dare to look at me. The two of them avoided their eyes for a moment. I wanted to ease the atmosphere and said, this blanket made me look like a 70-year-old old man, prematurely aging.

He had just washed his hands and they were red with cold, but he handed me the gloves in his bag.The fluffy gloves, the pattern on it is a strange little animal, obviously in the shape of a little hedgehog, but with rabbit ears and pig nose.I looked strange, and I asked him, what is the name of this cartoon character.

He put the gloves on me, as if he was thinking about it, and after putting them on, he said: "It's called Ning Zai"

I looked over and over and said, "Why haven't I heard of this cartoon character."

He smiled and said, "You haven't heard much about it, how could you know everything about it?"

I said yes.

I took off the gloves and grabbed his cold hands. The tops seemed to be cracked from the cold and the joints were red. I rubbed his hands, put the gloves on and said, "I wear them myself, and I can put them in my pockets." .I have hand cream in my bag, I will put on some hand cream later, I don't like rough hands."

He touched my face with a plush glove and said yes.

After dinner with him, we were really busy and wandered around. The main reason was that the sun was shining brightly at noon, and our bodies were warm, and the musty smell in winter was removed.

Tang Fengxing leaned close to my ear and asked, "Come for a ride?"

"How to go for a ride?" I looked sideways at him.

"Hold on firmly." He frowned, his eyes were filled with the warm sun at noon, and his bright brown eyes caught my attention.

I grabbed the pole, a huge thrust appeared, Tang Fengxing quickly pushed me on the road, the wind whistled past my ears, like the sound of paper being blown away, the joyful mood was like paper fluttering with the wind, I heard Tang Fengxing's hearty laughter said, let's go!

I can't hear all the noisy voices, I can only hear Tang Fengxing's laughter hidden in the wind.

His laughter was exaggerated, with the smell of sunshine, dry air, and the smell of grass and trees in the woods. My eardrum was beaten, like an eardrum, repeatedly hit by Tang Fengxing's laughter.

I looked up at him, his hair was blown up by the wind, the sun was shining brightly on his face, occasionally blocked by the shadow of a few leaves.

I remembered the words on the palm of my hand, and I wanted to ask him, is he in the same mood as me now?

We skimmed through the groves, and Tang Fengxing delicately passed by countless people. Under the high noon sun, there were shadows mixed with tree shadows under our feet.

After running for a short while, he was almost at the teaching building. Tang Fengxing was out of breath and pushed him to the hidden corridor under the teaching building, saying that he needed to go to the bathroom and wait for him here.

I grabbed him and he was still panting.

"Doing it now may still make you breathless, forgive me, I can't control this thought now."

I grabbed his collar, pulled it down, and easily grabbed the air in his mouth. Just after running, there seemed to be the sound of blood vessels bouncing on my cheeks, and my fingertips felt the hot, hot breath on his face , he grabbed my wrist tightly, unable to breathe, but obsessively sticking out his tongue to entangle with me, the long moist kiss made me feel as light as light.

His chest rose and fell, his noses overlapped and squeezed each other, I sucked his upper lip, he forcibly separated from me with a hot face, and pulled out a thin silver thread, he hurriedly wiped his lips with his fingertips, he was blushing Eyes in my ear saying he was out of breath and he needed to calm down, took a deep breath, stepped back, and scrambled to the toilet.

I adjusted my breathing and looked at the broken sun through the gaps in the leaves, which really gave me the feeling of living in retirement.

When he came out, his face was stained with water, and his hair was stained with water. We chatted one after another, and he pushed me into the classroom.Class started at 01:30 in the afternoon, and people with backpacks came to the classroom one after another.There is a chair here, and you need to break it off with your own hands. He hugged me and sat on the chair.I have always sat in this position, and I have never changed positions.

He sat next to me, looking at the electronic screen in front of him, and there was a sense of chaos, chaos, and endless nightmare from the previous week.I fell into the ashes and was reborn again.But such unbearable emotions, like being completely reborn, will disappear after several experiences.

The classroom made me feel orderly and back on track.

I looked in my drawer and sure enough there was something in it.Sighing, I took out several envelopes, pink, white, and brown.

Zhou Ming came over and snatched the envelope from my hand from behind.

"Hey, it's a love letter again? It's the 21st century, and mobile phones are everywhere. Why do people still write love letters?"

He made a gesture to take them apart, Zhao Jun and Li Jingyuan immediately leaned over and squeezed together.

"You are so rude to the sender." Tang Fengxing said to them.

"Hey, you don't understand. Chen Shuning would throw away these love letters every time without opening them even once, without any sympathy at all. Chen Shuning, I have never received a single confession on the anonymous wall. It's you, you still have the same charm."

Why did you write these to me? If you knew that I was sick, you would write me these polite words saying "I like you, can you be with me?"

Is it a joke, or is it serious and sincere?

I didn't know what they were thinking, I scolded them a few gossips, and I didn't want me to endorse them in the future, so I quickly returned it.They were just playing around, and didn't think about reading it. I brought back the envelope and stuffed it into the belly of the table.

Tang Fengxing stopped talking all the time, and started flipping through the book. I thought it should be a question, and I couldn't tell whether it was a subjective question or an objective question, but Tang Fengxing looked down at the book and didn't move a word.

I tore a note and handed it to him.

[What's wrong, the title has not been written? ]

[fine. ]

More and more good people came in outside, and it started to become noisy. My mood began to change, and it started to boil from being as flat as water. It was no longer stagnant water, but choppy waves.

I continued to write to him [If you have something to say, I can’t guess it if you don’t tell me. ]

He saw these words in my notebook and wrote them to me.

[Have you received many love letters? ]

[Well, you don’t have it too. ] I reply him.

[Well, yes.But I don't like girls, you know.This is a secret, you have to keep it secret for me. ]

Of course I know.I saw his drooping face, frowning, and wanted to tease him.

[How do you know I'm sitting here? ]

He froze for a moment, handed the paper back, did not answer me, and continued to read the topic.

I smiled and wrote to him: [You often look at me from behind, right? ]

He glanced at it and turned his head to ignore me.I am not discouraged and continue to write.

[You also know that I like to eat tomatoes very much, so I only made tomato scrambled eggs for me last time. ]

[You also know that I will receive love letters. Every time I throw it in the trash can, you tear it up and throw it in the trash can, right? ]

[Just now someone was still saying that it is impolite to open a letter. ]

When he saw this, he blushed unreasonably, lowered his head, and slowly replied two words to me [Sorry. ]

I propped my neck with one hand, looked at him with interest, and grabbed the pen. The ink on the paper was blurred because of the long pause. He looked at me, and I looked at him.

I asked him to pay by the ear, and I bit his ear and said, "No need to say sorry. I want to ask you one more question, how do you know I have a red mole on the back of my neck?"

"I wrote it when you wrote 'The 65th Day of Secret Love for Chen Shuning'."

Tang Fengxing immediately covered my mouth, and turned to me with a blushing face. I showed a smug smile. He lowered his eyes and said angrily: "Chen Shuning, don't say anything after reading it. It's shameful, I... ..."

I didn't say anything for a long time. I licked his palm with my tongue, and he withdrew his hand instantly like an electric shock, and looked at me in surprise.

The teacher came, I got down a little bit, took a small post-it note to write to him, and stuffed it into the palm of his hand from under the table, his palm seemed to be sweating, it was hot and moist to the touch.

He unfolded it and looked at it. After reading it, he opened his mouth and looked at me in surprise. I lay down on the table and looked at him. I stretched out my hand to show him the words written on the palm of my hand.

What I wrote on the note is—exchanging secrets with you, I don’t like girls either, let’s keep it a secret together.

It's a pity that I can't steal a kiss from you here.

Let's go to class.

What I wrote on my palm is - today is the second day I like Tang Fengxing.

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Chen Shuning's perspective